


Mine || Kylo Ren x Reader

by whor3s_for_kyloren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Sex, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, F/M, Gangbang, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Oral Sex, POV Kylo Ren, Rough Sex, Shower Sex, Submissive Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 128,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29351880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whor3s_for_kyloren/pseuds/whor3s_for_kyloren
Summary: *still a work in progress!*You are a part of The Resistance and pilot one of the X-Wings. After being shot down and taken hostage by The First Order, you are interrogated about what The Resistance have been planning against The First Order by the mighty Kylo Ren, the commander of The First Order. After spending time on Star Killer, you start to see the cracks in Kylo Ren's plan to obliterate the last Jedi and The Resistance, all while growing attached to the one man who is not capable of love and finding your connection between him and the Dark Side.•This book is more of a slow burn, however there will be plenty of smut throughout•warnings include rough and dubious content, sexual assault, sub/dom, emotional/psychical assault as well as others such as forced orgasm, over stimulation, lack of after care etc.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone, this is my first Kylo Ren fanfic I have written so be prepared for quite a few cracks and stuff ups here and there. 6 months ago I would never see myself being a fan of Star Wars or Adam driver, yet here I am. I haven't written fan fiction in YEARS so we'll see how this goes. This fanfic will have the following -violence -sexual scenes (smut) -emotional/physical abuse/neglect I hope you guys enjoy and bare with me while I get things started up :) Feel free to go follow our tik tok and Instagram accounts where we make edits of Kylo and everything else Adam Driver :) @/whor3s_for_kyloren -Hayley


	2. Chapter 1

The constant shuddering inside the hangar of the Tantive IV sounded and felt like home to you. You have been aboard the Tantive IV for almost a year, and have been recruited as one of their lead pilots for one of their fighter jets. You have been out on various missions since you started six months ago, rescuing many civilians from planets that were destroyed or taken over by The First Order.

You felt incredibly privileged to be part of The Resistance, and you felt proud to be known as one of the leading pilots for the ship, even though you had only been flying for six months or so. 

You peered around the hangar, observing the countless numbers of engineers and aircraft mechanics, other pilots and crew members. The bright hue of the LEDs surrounding the hangar reflected in the black metallic tiles of the base, specks of white flickering in the light. 

As you begin to make your way down the small flight of stairs to head towards your fighter jet, you heard your name come from behind you. You grasp the metal railing and turn on your heels, your polished boots squeaking on the tiles as you do so. 

You peered up at the small kind face of Princess Leia, her black robe hanging off her small shoulders and draping behind her. "I don't think it'll be wise for you to go out today," her voice was soft. "I've had reports that it's quite," she looked down at her feet, "chaotic."

You make your way back up the stairs to be able to talk to her on the same level, to show her the respect she deserves. 

"I understand, princess,' you swallowed, "but it's my job, it's what you hired me to do and you know I'm capable," you smiled down at her, with her old age she was beginning to shrink. "Besides," you look back at the pilots gearing up to take off, "without me, these pilots would be lost." 

She lets out a small laugh, but you could tell she was still unsure about you heading out to Ajan Kloss. "I just don't want anything bad happening, especially to you. I think we should sit this one out."

"Princess," you give her another warm smile before placing your hand on her shoulder. "I understand your concern. But, I want to do this. There's too many on Ajan Kloss that need our help." you peer into her dark, tired eyes. A weary smile plasters her face as she reaches her frail hand up to your cheek, rubbing her thumb as she did so. 

"Please come back to me," her voice was soft and unsure, "and if you see him, do everything you can to get away."

You nod your head before pulling away. "I'll see you tomorrow, Leia," you smiled before making your way back down the flight of stairs, and marching over to the fighter jet. 

As you make your way up the small set of boarding stairs, you pull on your helmet, adjusting the visor over your eyes. You sit down in the chair, plugging yourself in and flipping the switch to start the engines. The engines roar to life, the blue glow emitting from the sides of the ship as it powers on. 

The crew that work in the hangar shut you inside your jet, and as you hear the door click shut, you peer outside the window. Princess Leia was still standing in the same spot you had left her, and she was still watching you as you lifted the lever to bring the jet up, hovering above the ground now. 

You smile at her one last time and raise your hand to wave to her, before you slowly make your way out of the hangar, the other ten jets following close behind.

+++

As you finally enter the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss, you heard your work friend, Jackson over the radio. 

"Do we know how many are out here?" The static was unbelievably bad.

You press the radio button on your console, before looking out your window to your right to Jackson's jet. "No, but from my understanding, there's quite a few and it's chaos down there." 

You and the other trailing pilots head down towards canopies, the lush greenery making it hard to determine where the civilians were located. 

You decide to lead the pilots to a clearing to be able to land safely, but before you could radio to the others, a flash of red shot up from the trees, nearly hitting the side of your ship. You quickly reach down to the radio button. "Everyone, we're being attacked from below, disperse and try and find where the sources are coming from-" 

A loud crash was heard from beside you as you saw an explosion of flames and smoke billowing from one of the jets, it was one of the newbies. You pulled the lever up to quickly ascend out of danger. You looked down to see the jet crash through the thick canopy, exploding into shrapnel. Your heart sunk as more and more red beams of lasers shout out of the canopy. 

You had no idea what was shooting at you and you did not want to risk shooting into the canopy and killing innocent civilians.

"Jackson we need to land these ships and get in there," you barked before accelerating the jet towards the clearance, dodging the laser beams that continuously shot out from the canopy.

"Alright, I'm on it," he responds before he quickly descends to the clearance, followed by the other remaining pilots and their jets.

As you press the lever down to descend with the crew, you were jerked forward and the dash of the jet went black. You managed to look out the window and saw black smoke billowing out of one of the engines. 

Shit. 

You tried to aim the jet to an area to land safely but you were still in the middle of vast canopies. 

Your heart was racing and your palms were sweating profusely as you tried to complete an emergency landing in the middle of a dense forest, you knew your chances were pretty slim when it comes to a destroyed engine, but Jackson has taught you all you knew. 

You swallow and push the lever down, sending the jet plummeting towards the canopy before quickly pulling it back up to try and slow it down and lower the impact, but you were descending way to quickly to be able to adjust the jets propulsion.

Another laser hit the side of the ship which lurched you forward, you face hitting the dash with an almighty thump. Your eyes watered as you felt the warm liquid start to pour from your nose, blood splattering on your dark grey trousers. 

As you continued your descent to the canopy you caught a glimpse of a small group of civilians all crowded under and overhang of trees and shrubs. The loud screeches and buzzes of the jet were ringing in your ears and the smell of the toxic smoke burned your lungs. 

Before you could attempt to adjust the speed of the jet, it crashed through the top layer of the canopy, branches and leaves smashing against the window and cracking the glass. 

You couldn't help but shut your eyes and let out a yelp as the ship crashed into the ground, before sliding nearly two hundred meters from where you spotted the civilians. 

The wing of the jet dug into the forest floor, causing the ship to quickly flip and roll, throwing you around the cockpit like a ragdoll. You tasted the blood leaking from your nose and as the ship hurdled to a stop, a large log was hurdled through the windscreen and before you could comprehend what was happening, everything went black.

Disclaimer:

I'm hoping to have a chapter up every day or every second day, it'll just depend on how busy I get with Uni and other commitments.

Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter and I'm looking forward to continuing this!


	3. Chapter 2

The sensation of water dripping on you brings you back to reality. 

Your whole body ached and your head was pounding, your ears ringing so much you could barely think straight. As you regained your vision, you inspected the shattered glass and the sparks flickering out of the dash. You were hanging upside down and a large hollow tree had pierced the cockpit and was situated right beside your head.

Fuck.

Your nostrils stung as you inhaled the scent of smoke and engine oil. 

You just hoped there wasn't a fire starting to erupt out of the damaged engine.

As you completely regained consciousness, you reached down to unfasten the belt that miraculously kept you seated during the accident. You fell onto your hands and knees and groaned in pain, your neck was aching to the point you could barely lift your head. You leant your hand on the console to help steady yourself as you managed to rise to your feet. Your legs were shaking, you weren't sure if it was due to the shock, or because your left leg was numb and you were unable to put any weight on it. 

How did you manage to survive this? Did the other pilot survive? With that explosion it's highly unlikely. Where were the rest of the crew? Where was Jackson? 

You hobbled out of the jet by exiting through the shattered windscreen, having to duck under the hollow tree. When you had nothing to steady yourself on, your legs gave out underneath you and you cried out in pain as you felt extreme pain shoot up through your left leg. You hit the forest floor with a thud. Your head was pounding now and you felt like you were going to be sick, your stomach gurgled but nothing happened which left you dry heaving on the forest floor as you tried catching your breath. With each breath your lungs began to burn, not knowing if it was because of the smoke or the sheer impact you had just been through.

You need to get to those civilians, you need to help them and try to alert the crew to their presence. But without a radio that would be impossible to do.

You heard static and the voices of Stormtroopers in the surrounding shrubs, their heavy footsteps growing closer and closer to you. You began to shake, you couldn't spot where your blaster had been catapulted to after the crash. You were helpless.

Maybe we should have listened to Princess Leia, then you wouldn't be in this mess. But at the same time this is your job as leading pilot.

You caught the sea of white and black emerge from the shrubs and you swallowed the lump in your throat, it burnt as saliva and blood made its way down your oesophagus. Your head still pounded and your heart was near on bursting out of you blood covered chest. 

"Name," one of the Stormtroopers asked, the static making your headache even worse.

You quietly gave them your name, you had no energy to try and pick fights, especially not with thirty odd of them surrounding you. 

"You're part of The Resistance," it was more a statement than a question.

"Yes, sir," you croaked. You could barely breathe let alone talk.

"You're coming with us," You couldn't tell which one was speaking, but two Stormtroopers marched towards you before looping their white armoured arms under your's to hoist you to your feet. Pain shot up from your toes all the way to your thigh. You're pretty sure your leg is broken.

"I can't-" 

Before you could finish, the end of a blaster came in contact with the side of your head, sending you back to oblivion once again.

+++

The hissing sound of a door sliding open jerks you awake, and bright light emitting from white LEDs above you force you to squint as you regain consciousness once again and become aware of your surroundings. 

The room was monochromatic, almost every wall was coated with matte or metallic black sheets of metal. There were some walls that seemed to be red consoles of some sort, you were unsure of their purpose.

You wondered where you were. You could hear faint, foreign voices behind the doors that previously had just opened. The beeps of the consoles were also foreign. What ship were you on?

As you regained your vision, you looked down to see you were restrained on some sort of table in a standing position. You felt your heart begin to race again as you tried to lurch forward to get out of the restraints but, of course, to no avail. The metal cuffs cut into your wrists and your leg was throbbing once again, you couldn't help but let out a groan in frustration and pain.

"You can struggle all you want, but it won't be of much help to you," a dark static voice leaked out from the black walls of the room. Your heart was in your throat, as you couldn't see where it come from.

"Why am I here?" You found it slightly easier to find your words now. "What do you want?" You began to tremble against the platform, the cold restraints sending chills up your spine. 

You heard heavy footsteps linger behind you before they circled around in front of you. 

A tall, broad cascade of black stood in front of you. What ever it was, was over six foot tall, it towered over you. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to stop yourself from shaking but you simply couldn't.

"I want you to tell me what The Resistance are planning against The First Order," the voice was so deep you wondered what was underneath. 

"I don't know anything, I-"

The shadow lifted its gloved hand, the black leather shining in the light. You felt a pressure around your throat as you gasped for air. You tried clawing at your neck to rid yourself of the pressure but the restraints denied you from doing so. You splattered as the pressure grew, and as you felt the strain in your face tighten from the lack of oxygen, the pressure was gone as quickly as it came. 

You coughed and gasped for air, your chest heaving to try and make up for the loss of oxygen.

It uses The Force? Shit.

"You're a pilot for the Tantive IV, is this correct?" The black mass took a heavy step towards you. 

You couldn't work up the strength to speak so you quickly nodded, swallowing saliva to try and sooth your dry throat. 

"What is Leia planning?' The voice was dark, monstrous.

"How do you know Leia-"

Pressure was now at your broken leg and you couldn't help but cry out as pain resinated through your limb. What is this thing? It sounds human but the sheer size and power of it doesn't make sense. You were sure your leg was about to be obliterated into millions of tiny pieces and you let out out a shriek, your whole body wracked in agony.

"It doesn't matter," static again, "What does matter is that you tell me everything you know,"

You couldn't help but swear under your breath due to the immense pain coursing through your whole body. 

"Tell me," it reached up and pulled the black hood back, exposing and black and chrome metallic helmet.

Oh, fuck.

It was Kylo Ren. The Kylo Ren.

Commander of The First Order.

Your heart was in your throat, thumping so hard you thought it'd explode.

"C-Commander, I-I-" You were lost for words. You were terrified.

His head tilted as he studied you, the chrome accents in his helmet reflecting in the bright lights of the room. The black voids where his eyes would be were menacing.

"I suggest you tell me so we can get this over and done with," he sounded frustrated, yet there was a hint of playfulness in his dark voice.

Princess Leia warned me of the mighty Kylo Ren. She told you about mass killings he had under his name, how he took prisoners and used them for information before cutting them to pieces. You swallow the bile that was arising in your throat.

You cannot tell him what they're planning. Pain shot through your skull, you ears ringing to the point you could not hear a single beep inside the small room you were kept in. Kylo Ren had his leather hand outstretched once again. You clamp your eyes shut to try and relieve some of the pain but it was of no use. 

Leia told you of their plans to attack Star Killer in the up coming months to try and stop them from destroying one of the planets that was inhabited by many-

"Good girl," through the static, you could almost hear Kylo's smile underneath the helmet. 

"What do you mean?" You questioned as your vision filled out once more. 

"You have given me the information I wished to receive," he took another step towards you, before reaching out his gloved finger and wiping the side of your mouth. It hurt and you tried shaking him off you. He pulled away and you noticed the small amount of blood caking his finger. "You look like you're in need of medical attention," his head tilted again. 

"I didn't tell you anything, how-" 

"Are you really that naive?" You thought you heard a small chuckle underneath the helmet. "I can hear your thoughts, and you're pretty easy to get into," 

Oh, fuck. 

With that, he was gone, the black robes flailing behind him as he spun around to exit the room. 

He can hear my thoughts? You had just given up Leia's plans for Star Killer away to the man who commands it, all without opening your mouth. This isn't good. 

Two Stormtroopers marched inside the room, undoing your restraints and grasping you by your wrists to stop you from getting away. Not that you could anyways with a busted leg. As they began escorting you to medical your mind started to wonder.

Kylo Ren was obviously ridiculously powerful if he can not only use The Force but also be able to read people's thoughts. You wouldn't be able to shake him, not when your mind runs a million miles an hour. He'll be able to hear anything your mind comes up with, and you found that terrifying.

"I suppose I'm not being let out of here, am I?" You mumble in between the Stormtroopers, hanging your tired head.

"As far as I know, no, not any time soon anyway." The Stormtrooper on your right stated.

They lead you through a large sliding door to a large open medical space. There were numerous beds lining the hallway, IV bags and stands located at every bed. The smell of bleach burned your lungs as the Stormtroops lead you to one of the private rooms in an offcut of the med-bay. 

This place has a lot more medical supplies than the Tantive IV. More beds, more IVs, more nurses and practitioners. 

The Stormtroopers sat you down onto the rather large hospital bed before turning to the small woman in the corner of the room sterilizing different types of equipment. 

You were too focused on peering around at the various trays of medical equipment beside your bed to hear what the Stormtroopers said before they left you and the nurse alone.

"I heard you had a pretty nasty crash?" Her kind voice made you jump. "You're pretty banged up." 

You turn towards her, wincing in pain as your neck went into spasm. "Y-yeah I guess you could say that," you swallow. "Do you know why the Commander hasn't executed me? Why did he send me here?" 

She let out a small laugh. "Our Commander is sensible enough to know when somebody is a threat. He obviously doesn't see you as one." She made her way over towards you. "I'm Lexa,"

You told her your name before looking down to the tray of sterile instruments. You swallow, "I take it you're going to be the one fixing me up?" 

"You're lucky you have me, all of the other nurses aren't as gentle I am when it comes to stitches." She opened a draw to pull out a roll of gauze and alcohol solution. "Sit up for me," you hadn't realised you'd sunken back into the bed to try and get away from the instruments. You hated surgeries.

You lift yourself off the back of the bed and swung your legs over the side to grant Lexa access to your multiple wounds. She poured the alcohol solution onto the gauze before pressing it down on the multiple lacerations you had sustained in the crash. The alcohol stung each wound and you bite down on your lip to stop yourself from yelling out in pain. 

So Kylo doesn't believe you're a threat? You don't blame him, his sheer size is enough to intimidate you. You don't have a radio to call back the Tantive IV, which means Princess Leia wouldn't be aware of what was happening. Not yet anyways.

You felt the prick of the first suture piercing your skin. 

"You have to help me get out of here," you sighed as you looked up at her. "I've given all the information I had to the commander," well, he took it without you knowing, "please, I need to get back to the Tantive IV." 

"I'm of no help to you," she stuck her tongue out as she finished off suturing the gash on your shoulder, "I'm afraid Commander Ren will probably keep you here for some time, possibly even get you to work for him." 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. You couldn't work for Kylo Ren. There's no way in hell you would even consider helping him with anything. 

"We're going to have to x-ray your leg," she sighed with a concerned look on her small olive coloured face. "But let me finish patching these up and clean you up," she smiled before pressing the alcohol soaked gauze onto another gash above your eyebrow. 

Fuck this sucks. 

"How long have you been on Star Killer?" You figured talking would take your mind off the searing pain of the alcohol cleaning all the debris and blood off your face. You wince as she comes towards you with the hooked needle and thread. You shut your eyes.

"Almost two years," she pressed the needle through your skin and you found yourself gripping the sheets to try and overcome the pain as she began suturing the gash above your eyebrow. You'd hate to see what you look like right now. You feel like you've been hit by a freight train. "How long have you been a pilot?"

"Six months or so," you said through gritted teeth. "But I've been on the Tantive IV for about a year." You already missed it. 

"Alright, I'm finished. You're all cleaned up but now we've gotta check this leg." She said as she placed the needle and thread back down onto the tray.

You lay back onto the bed once again as she pulls a large x-ray machine out from the corner of the room. She untangles the power cords and plugs them into the wall to fire up the machine. 

The machine's whir unsettled you and you close your eyes as she brings it closer to you to be able to x-ray your leg. 

After a few minutes the machine is shut off and the x-ray is printed. You hold your breath and wait for her to tell you your results. 

"You're lucky it's not broken," her eyes widened. "But you've done some serious damage to the soft tissues and ligaments surrounding your kneecap." 

You let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully you don't need to waddle around in a moon boot for six weeks or so. 

"I suggest you rest for a few weeks, but I know with the commander on board he'll most likely wanting you pulling your weight." She half smiles before pushing the machine back into the corner of the room. "If you can, I'd be trying to get duties that don't require you on your feet all day." She pulls her latex gloves off and discards them in the rubbish. 

You scoff, "And what duties would require me to sit on my ass all day?" 

She shrugs, "I would ask General Hux, he'd be your best bet in finding something to do. Commander Ren doesn't take injuries into account when it comes to work." 

You roll your eyes. Commander Ren sounds like a real asshole. You hope you never have to see him again. The mask was enough to turn you away from him. He was terrifying.

"Ok, now what?" You asked as you sit up from the bed. "Can I go?" 

"I'll take you to your quarters. But first let me wrap your knee up," she smiles as she turns away again to fetch some elastoplast for your injury. 

You want to get out of here, but you realise how hard that will actually be. There's armed guards everywhere on this ship. And it's not like they're going to let somebody they had just captured into the hangar to fly one of the TIE fighters. 

Lexa returns with the bandage and a set of crutches, and begins wrapping the bandage around your knee in a figure-eight motion. Once she had finished that she handed you the crutches. 

"Let's go, that way once you get to your quarters it'll be time for everyone to be inside their quarters anyways."

They have a curfew on Star Killer? 

You push yourself off the bed, steadying yourself with the crutches. They cut under your arms but there was no other choice but to bear the pain as the two of you made your way down the never ending hallway. 

"How long do I need to be on crutches for?" You turned your head towards her. 

"I'd say two weeks, it'll just depend on how everything heals. Could be more, could be less. But best to just try and look after yourself." She smiles before we rounded a corner. 

"Here's where you'll be staying," she says before pressing a button on a small console outside the door. 

The door hisses open and you make your way inside. 

It was small, but big enough that it was comfortable. A single bed was set against the wall and the small bathroom was off to the right. A fresh set of clothes was laid out on the bed with basic necessities such as a hair brush, tooth brush and other toiletries. 

For someone who's considered an enemy, they sure know how to look after you. 

"If you need anything, let me know," She hands you a small bottle of pain killers. "Take one before you go to sleep," she smiles

You grasp the bottle and look up at her once more, "thank you," you smile. 

"At 0800 I'd suggest you head back to me so I can introduce to you General hux." 

You nod your head, "sure," 

With that, Lexa turned and shut the door behind you, leaving you alone with your thoughts. The small clock beside the bed read 2100. 

You hobbled over towards the fresh set of clothes before sitting down beside them. They were all black. Black trousers, black t-shirt, black underwear. It was quite different to your usual lighter attire. 

You placed your crutches against the wall beside your bed before slipping out of your blood stained clothes. They were torn to shreds almost. 

You unclipped your bra and slipped the black t-shirt over your head. Your back aching as you did so. You reached down to pull on the grey tracksuit pants that was left beside the monochromatic work attire. 

I wonder if Jackson and the rest managed to gather the rest of the civilians? Your heart ached. For the whole year you had been aboard the Tantive IV you adored Jackson. His shaggy brown hair and green eyes were irresistible. And the freckles. Fuck. 

He had been the one to train you to be a pilot, and you loved him for it. You had always wanted to be a pilot, rather than following in your parent's footsteps of being engineers. Your heart aches at the thought of them. 

You lost them four months ago, there was an attack on the Tantive IV and they were doing work out in the hangar before TIE fighters began shooting through the openings. 

You felt a single tear fall from your lashes and you took in a deep breath before sliding in underneath the white bed sheets. The bed and pillow were soft. And you let out a groan. You were exhausted. 

You've gone from being a pilot and having a job to save civilians, to now being held captive and being forced to work under The First Order. 

It's been a ridiculously long day. 

With that you rolled onto your side, wincing in pain as your neck and back ached. 

Before you could get another thought into your brain, you drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 3

The loud beeping of your alarm jerked you awake from your slumber. It read 0730.

Groaning, you push yourself up from the bed with your hands, your back and neck aching from the crash yesterday. You suck in a breath before swinging your legs over the side of the bed. You tilt your head to try and relieve the tightness in your neck. 

You were surprised. You thought you wouldn't be able to move, but the pain isn't as bad as you expected. 

You slip out of your track pants before replacing them with the black trousers the crew of Star Killer had left out for you. You slowly bend down to pull on your boots, lacing them up in a double knot. You grasped one of the crutches to help pull you out of the warm bed, before making your way over to the small sink to brush your teeth and fix your hair. 

You built up the courage to peer at your reflection in the small mirror hanging above the sink. 

Your stitches above your eyebrow were raw and swollen, but luckily no blood or pus was leaking from the wound. The split in your bottom lip had scabbed over, but if you smiled hard enough it'd split open again. You peered at the blackening bruise that encased your right eye. 

You look like shit.

You pull the collar of your t-shirt down, gazing at the numerous sutures and bruises that battered your body. You let out a sigh before pulling your hair into a pony tail and making your way out of your quarters. 

There were already crowds of crew marching up and down the hallways, the constant chatter filling the cold empty air. 

You hobble down the hallway towards the med-bay, exchanging quick glances at the crew who bothered to acknowledge your presence. 

As the doors hissed open, you spotted Lexa tending to one of the crew, fiddling with the IV bags beside his bed. As she finished up, she spotted you before smiling and making her way over towards you. Her dark hair cascade around her shoulders, framing her pretty olive face, her green eyes glinting as she stands in front of you.

"How are you feeling this morning?' she tilted her head.

"Yeah look, I've had better days, but I'm alive I guess," you shrug, your neck starting to ache again "Do you wanna show me where this General Hux is stationed?" you smiled, even though you really weren't looking forward to working on Star Killer. You needed to be back on the Tantive IV. You already miss seeing Princess Leia each morning. 

"Follow me," she walked passed you. You spun around slowly on your crutches as they dug into the underside of your arms to follow her. "and I'd suggest if Commander Ren is with him to keep your head down and your mouth shut, just a warning. He's not a morning person."

You couldn't help but let out an obnoxious laugh. 

Kylo Ren isn't a morning person? Figures. 

"He seems the type that doesn't enjoy anything in life," you rolled your eyes.

After five minutes or so of struggling down long hallways, you finally reached General Hux's office. "Let me do the whole talking thing," Lexa glances at you. 

You nod your head before following her inside, the doors hissing open, revealing a tall pale man, dressed in all black clothing. His bright orange hair was shining underneath the white hue of the LEDs. He was talking to another tall man dressed in almost the exact same clothing. 

You shivered when you heard the familiar static. General Hux was talking to Kylo Ren.

"You need to organise your men better, General," Kylo's voice was deep, menacing. "You and your men do nothing but disappoint me," his hands balled into fists, the black leather catching the white hue. 

"You and I both know, Commander, how difficult it is to keep this ship in shape when you take your anger out on it with your childish tantrums," Hux snapped through gritted teeth. 

You're sure you heard a dark chuckle underneath Kylo's helmet. You knew he didn't find Hux's comment funny. 

This doesn't look like an ideal situation to be part of. You'd rather not be here and still be curled up in your own bed. You didn't want to be assigned to repairing damages, especially if they're caused by Kylo.

You watched as Kylo turned slowly, the chrome accents glinting in the white hue. 

"Well, that's ok General, I know someone who will be able to fix and manage my ship for me." his head tilted as he studied you. 

For fuck sake.

You forgot he can hear your thoughts.

"Commander, sir," Lexa began, "I highly doubt she'll be able to do repairs, she's sustained-"

"I don't care what injuries she has," he turned his head towards Lexa, "she'll be repairing my ship, she's a pilot, I think she's smart enough to fix it."

You bit your lip, trying to keep your fiery mouth shut. 

How does he expect you to fix his ship? You're no engineer, you have only been taught to refuel engines and fly, and possibly fixing some minor electrical issues. But you believe Kylo does a lot more damage, not just pulling out a couple wires from the console.

You heard Kylo say your name and you nearly collapsed. "I want you to follow me. I'll show you where it is,"

"Listen, sir," you couldn't help yourself. You knew you couldn't. "I have just been in a crash, I can't walk or even bend down at the moment and you expect me, a pilot, not an engineer, to fix the mess you created?" 

His head tilted as he stalked towards you, his heavy footsteps growing closer and closer.

Your legs began to tremble. 

"Commander Ren," General Hux began, rounding the table he had previously been sitting at, "I can find another engineer to fix your ship. She is not qualified and you wouldn't want-"

"No," Kylo straightened in front of you. "I want her," he peered down at your broken body. 

You felt your core tighten and you squeezed your legs together. What was that?

This is not happening. 

"Yes," you heard your name through the static again, "This is happening. Come with me, now."

He brushed passed you, nearly knocking you off your crutches. Before you could turn to follow him, Lexa gave you a worried look. "Please be careful," she whispered before she walked passed you to head back towards the med-bay. 

You try and keep up with Kylo the best you could on crutches, nearly hitting the floor on multiple occasions. You follow Kylo around a corner, entering a room with sparks flying out of a console in the wall. You swallow the lump in your throat as he turns around. He reached his gloved hand out and you heard the door slam shut behind you. 

It's not like you can run anywhere at the moment.

"I need you here," his voice was low, "I can't rely on other pathetic people to fix it-"

You scoff and roll your eyes. "You know, you could just, not destroy things when you have your panties in a twist," you shrug. "How do you think I'm going to fix this? I can't even fucking walk." By now you were annoyed. You hated being in his presence. His cocky attitude manages to rub you up the wrong way almost every time. 

He tilted his head once again before stalking towards you. "If you can prove to me that I can trust you, I can make this easier for you, Princess," 

Your breath hitched in your throat, near choking on it. 

"What, you're giving me pet names now?" your eyebrows knitted together. "I already told you, I don't have any qualifications in engineering-"

"It's not rocket science, Princess," you were sure he was smirking underneath that ridiculous helmet. 

You let out a quick laugh. "Oh please, go ahead and show me how I'm supposed to fucking fix this mess," you waved your hand towards the mangled console, orange and yellow sparks flickering out of the dash. 

"Don't be smart with me," he growled before marching towards you. "you've got quite a filthy mouth on you, don't you, whore?" your core tensed again, you wanted it to stop, but at the same time, you didn't.

You scoff "Just pick one, am I a princess or a whore to you?"

"Depends on your attitude." There was a small laugh. 

"Listen, Commander, I've got two things for you," you steady yourself on the crutches. "One, I'm not qualified and who knows, I might blow it up," you look back to the console before looking back to his tall, dark figure. "And two, what makes you think I'm going to do anything for you?" You huffed.

"Hmm," he was now standing inches away from you, his black helmet peering down at you. "You know, I can take what ever I want," his deep voice leaked out of the helmet like venom. Your heart was in your throat.

You peered into the dark voids of the mask before biting your lip. Don't say it-

"Try me," 

With that, his gloved hand was around your throat, squeezing at the sides, denying any blood to reach your brain. He spun you around before pushing you against the wall, the cool metal sending shivers up your spine. Your mouth parted as you gasped, trying to fill your lungs with oxygen. Your core tightened again and you let out a helpless whimper. 

"I can make your life Hell," he purred, his mask sending chills down your spine once more as the cool metal brushes against your collarbone. "I think you underestimate me," 

You squeeze your thighs together. You have never felt anything like this before, you had no idea what was happening. 

"Get away from me," your lip quivered, sweat started to roll down the sides of your head, "Kylo I-"

"Sir," his grip around your neck tightened. "You don't have the right to call me that," his breathing was erratic in your ear. He's enjoying this, and admittedly, you were too, but you did not want him knowing that. 

"P-please let me go," you struggled to hold back the tears. You were helpless, you were locked in here on your own with Kylo Ren. His hand was around your throat and he could do what ever he wanted with you, and it'd be his word against your's. "Sir, I'm sorry please, let me go," you struggled for words as your vision began to blur due to the tears and lack of oxygen. 

You shut your eyes to try and hold back the tears but were unsuccessful. A single tear fell from your lashes and before you could reach up to wipe it away, he had let go of your neck, letting you fall onto the cold tiles in a messy heap. You groaned as you landed on your knee, pain shooting up through your whole body. 

You swallowed the bile rising in your throat as Kylo squatted down in front of your crumpled body as you sat against the wall. You choked back the sobs rising in your chest, trying to remain somewhat fearless, but you were failing miserably. He stared at you for a moment before reaching out and placing his large leather hand on your knee. You tried to pull away and yelped, thinking he'd try and hurt you again.

"Shh," his voice was gentle, "let me help you," as if someone had flipped a switch his whole demeanour had changed. He stared down at your knee as he lightly gripped your knee cap. A tingling sensation run up and down your leg and you tried to back away, unsure of what was happening. 

"Stay still, Princess," he purred. Your breath was coming in quick, sharp pants as he held you in place with his left hand on your knee and his other hand pressing against the wall beside your head. You were trapped. After a brief moment, he let out a sigh before pulling his hand away from your knee to bring his hand up to your cheek. His thumb wiped away the tear from your cheek and you felt you heart flutter. 

How can Kylo be so intimidating and demanding one minute, then wiping away your tears the next? This must be his way of trying to get what he wants.

"I'm not as bad as you think I am," your name falling off his lips was enough to make your stomach backflip. He grasped your chin lightly for a brief moment before pulling you to your feet, you winced, thinking the pain would soon shoot up your leg from your injury, but there was nothing. You could put weight on it now. 

What the fuck?

"I've fixed you, Princess," he breathed, pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "Now," his voice hardened, "get to work and fix my fucking ship," he snapped before turning on his heels and storming out of the room, leaving you on your own with a mangled console. 

You were taken back, your heart was pounding, your leg was still tingly from his touch and the sensation between your legs was foreign. 

What in Gods name just happened?

Message:

Hey guys I hope you're enjoying so far. Things will soon start to kick off, I just didn't want to throw us all into the deep end of smut, even though we're all looking forward to it.

If you guys are interested, my friend Shayley is writing her fanfic (obviously on Kylo) titled 'It's You', go check hers out and support her it'll mean a lot to the both of us. 

-Hayley


	5. Chapter 4

Hours had passed since Kylo had left you to your own devices to fix the mess he caused in his ship due to one of his childish tantrums. Thankfully, General Hux sent in another engineer to help you with the repairs. It has been an awkward two hours of silence between you and Noah, a slightly older boy who had been an engineer for approximately two years, apart from the occasional help he gave you as the pair of you replaced the consoles and metal sheets surrounding it.

Your mind was still trying to process what happened with Kylo all those hours ago, how he could transform his whole demeanour in a matter of seconds. How he healed your injured leg and wiped away your tears, before turning around and snapping, ordering you to fix his ship and leaving you completely star struck. You couldn't keep up with him.

He called you Princess, then in a matter of a few sentences he was calling you a whore. 

You felt the foreign flutter between your legs again and you squeezed your thighs together, biting your lip as you tried to fight off the feeling that had been constantly at you since Kylo had entered your life. 

You heard your name fall off Noah's lips and you spun to face him on the desk chair. 

"Sorry, Noah," you cleared your throat before looking up into his bright blue eyes. They were definitely pretty eyes, you had never seen eyes shine so perfect under light. "What did you need?"

"The spanner, please," his raspy voice sent goose bumps running up your arms, your hair standing on end. His voice was like music to your ears. He was so handsome. His pale face was covered in cute light freckles, predominantly around his rosy cheeks and nose. His blonde hair was long and he had it pulled back into a bun, out of his field of vision so he could work accordingly. His blue eyes caught the white hue of the LEDs perfectly. You shook your head, pulling yourself from your trance before reaching over and grabbing the spanner out of the tool box. 

"Took you long enough," he huffed. 

You frown, "Well, I'm technically not meant to even be touching this stuff, it's not my job." You shrugged your shoulders. He had already had enough of your sarcasm, but it was how you flirted. You kinda sucked at it.

"Well it's part of your job now. Maybe you'll be a better engineer than you were a pilot," a small smirk touched his plump, pink lips and his eyebrow raised slightly. 

You let out a sarcastic laugh, "And I suppose you know how to fly?" you lean back in the chair, crossing your legs in a criss-cross position. You continue to study his handsome face.

"I know enough that you're supposed to keep it in the air, not on the forest floor," he chuckled, his perfect white teeth shining under the lights. He bent down again to fasten some of the remaining bolts into the console to keep it in place, his biceps flexing underneath the black sleeves of his jumpsuit.

Holy shit, he is handsome.

"So, how long have you been on this shithole?" You push off the side of the console to spin yourself around on the chair. 

"My whole life," he smiled, "I was born here,"

Oh you poor mother fucker. 

"You like it here?" you tilt your head at him, before pushing off the console once again, sending you spinning the other way. 

"Yeah, I've got a job, I get fed, I've got somewhere to sleep and my boyfriend is on board-"

You quickly grasped the edge of the console. "B-boyfriend?" you failed at trying to keep your composure. You did not expect him to be gay.

"Yeah, is there something wrong with that?" his eyebrows knitted together.

"No!" you shook your head "I just, didn't expect it," your heart was in your throat. God you can say some dumb shit. 

He laughed and waved his hand in your direction, "I'm kidding," he chuckled before standing up, completing the task you were both assigned. "Alright, all finished," he smiled before glancing towards you, "No thanks to you," his face hardened for a split second before he began laughing again.

You start to laugh with him. "I already told you and I told Commander Ren, I'm not helping him with anything." You shook your head. "I really need to get out of here, Noah. I'm needed back at my base-"

"Good luck," his eyes widened. "The Supreme Leader doesn't let any of his prisoners go," his face was sad.

"What, there's more of me he has hidden in here?" You tilted your head. "I haven't seen anyone else," your brows knitted together.

He sighed, "that's because they're dead." He leant against the wall he had just rebuilt from scratch. "The only way you're getting outta here is in a body bag in millions of tiny pieces," he shook his head. "I'd suggest just doing as you're told by the Supreme Leader, that way you can't give him a reason to kill you," he peered back at you.

You felt your heart in your throat and your hands became clammy. You knew you couldn't stand the Supreme Leader, you near on hated his guts. He confused you, manipulated you and makes you feel like nothing. Princess Leia would never. You just wanted to be back home, wrapped in a warm embrace by her and Jackson. Oh how you missed Jackson's belly laughs when you told a stupidly awful joke. 

You felt your heart ache. You missed them. You missed home.

You just wished you could get away from this awful place, get away from Kylo Ren. You would have to somehow sneak passed the flight crew to gain access to one of the TIE fighters to be able to get back home. Wherever home was at this time. 

Your thoughts were interrupted when a crushing force crept into your head, your temples throbbing, causing your ears to ring. You grasped the sides of your head, trying to relieve the pain that kept on growing stronger and stronger as seconds passed. You saw Noah mouth some words but were unable to comprehend what he was saying as you let out a moan in pain. You physically felt sick as bile raised to your oesophagus, threatening to spill from your lips. 

With your head in your hands, you peered down at the black tiles beneath you, trying to ground yourself and focus on not throwing up. You watched as two large boots planted themselves a foot in front of you. You recognised those shiny boots, they belonged to Commander Ren.

"Leave us," his monotone voice was able to be heard through the ringing in your ears.

You watched as Noah quickly scurried out of the room, a worried look plastered on his pretty face. 

When you thought you were going to cave and pass out, the pressure was released in an instant. You let out a groan of appreciation, thanking God it was over. 

But now you had to deal with this asshole. 

You heard your name come through the static and you slowly lifted your head, peering up into the dark voids of his helmet. He was without his usual cowl, his broad shoulders were clearly visible, as were his strong biceps. You swallowed before sitting up straight. "Yes, sir?" your throat was dry, and your head was still pounding from his hold he had on you just seconds ago. 

"It's come to my understanding that you just sat here while the engineer tended to my ship," he was sour, you could hear the disappointment in his voice. 

You sighed, shutting your eyes to try and compose yourself. "Can't you get it through that thick head of yours?" you rose to your feet "I will never serve you." You snarled, your teeth bared like a wild animal. Your breathing started to become erratic in anger. He seriously does not give up. But neither do you. You liked teasing him, infuriating him. 

"As a prisoner, I expect you to work for me," his leather hands clenched by his sides "Unless you want to end up dead," he tilted his head, the sheer size of him taking up most of your vision. "And we wouldn't want that, will we, Princess?" the venom dripping from his words was potent as his hand reached up to your face, grasping your chin between his thumb and index finger. You began to tremble with anticipation of what might happen next. 

"Fuck you," you breathed, trying to squirm away from his grip. He stayed silent before you felt the force pressure around your throat. With a gasp you tried to suck in a lungful of oxygen, but to no avail. 

Kylo began to walk into you, forcing you backwards until you collided with the cool metal of the walls of the ship. You choked on your breath as the invisible pressure tightened once again. 

"Such a filthy mouth," he purred, the cool touch of his helmet grazing your cheek as he pressed himself into you. "I think I can fix that dirty mouth of yours," 

Your lip trembled as you held back an angry sob. "Get away from me," you choked. A soft chuckle left the helmet and you groaned again out of pure frustration. All you wanted was for him to be gone, hell, you wanted him dead. You would rather die than serve him. The pressure released from around your throat and you nearly collapsed into Kylo's monstrously large frame. You sucked in oxygen greedily, sweat dripping from your forehead and wetting the stray strands of hair that were sitting there. 

"Oh Princess," he sighed, "when will you learn?" his hand reached up to your face again, brushing the strands of hair from your eyes. "I'm trying to help you. You could have a life here on Star Killer. You could have an actual purpose." His voice was soft in your ear. That unusual feeling between your legs was back. 

"I will never serve you, you monster," you spat, before trying to push your small hands into his broad, muscular chest, trying to get him away from you. He didn't budge, only laughed before grabbing you by your wrists with only one of his hands. They were huge. You swallowed the lump in your throat, your lip quivering.

"But you will," you could hear the cruel smirk underneath his helmet. You wanted to rip it off his shoulders and smash it into tiny pieces. He stilled for a second, before letting your wrists go. 

He took a step back from you, before his gloved hands reached up to take off his helmet, the visor unlatching with a small click and a hiss. You couldn't help but stay frozen in place and stare, as this masked monster took his helmet off, the helmet that everyone on this ship feared. 

Your mouth parted as his thick, dark locks fell out from underneath his helmet, cascading around his chiselled jaw line and shoulders. You were convinced he had better hair than you. As he completely removed his helmet, you gazed at him, examining the large jagged scar running down the right side of his ridiculously handsome face. His brown eyes held a thousand galaxies inside them, the light reflected out of them made them a golden brown colour. He was beautiful. His large nose fitted perfectly onto his perfect face.

"I need to know something," he advanced towards you again, you remained still, unable to move, not wanting to move. "I want you tell me what's so special about the Tantive IV, why would you rather be there, than here with me?" His deep voice almost sounded hurt.

You tried to gather yourself to be able to get a few words out. You were still shocked at how this monster you resented looked this beautiful. "Because I'm part of the Resistance," you croaked, it was the best you could manage at that time.

"Hmm," he pressed himself against you again, his boots knocking yours. "I need a better answer than that," his dark eyes peering into yours. "If you don't tell me, I'll have to take it from you," you watched his full lips, wanting to feel them against yours. But you would never bring yourself to do it. You will never do anything like that with Kylo Ren. He stilled for a moment before bringing his right hand up once again, pressing his hand against the wall beside your head. You could barely breathe. You had the urge to squeeze your thighs together again.

"Kylo, please-"

"You'll call me Sir," he breathed, "Now tell me, what do they give you that I can't?" he bent at his knees slightly so he could be on your level. 

You shook your head, "don't do this, please," your legs were shaking again, causing your whole body to tremble. "Kylo, please," you were trying to remain calm, you needed to think of a plan. Your eyes glanced down at the saber he had attached to his belt. You swallowed.

"Oh, Princess," he purred, "I spent most of my energy fixing you this morning, do you really think I'm going to hurt you again?" his head tilted again, his dark eyes roaming your body. "I told you, I'm not as bad as you think," his eyes softened. For once, you believed he was being sincere.

You shook your head no, before peering up at his beautiful eyes, examining the pink scar that ran down the side of his perfect face, all while slowly reaching your hand towards his stomach, trying to reel him in, he tensed underneath your touch, a soft groan leaving his lips. You smiled up at him, before quickly reaching for his saber, but he was too quick for you.

His hand grasped your wrist with an unbelievable amount of force, his large fingers digging into the delicate tendons and ligaments on the underside of your wrist. "You fucking cunt," he growled before spinning you around by pressing your arm against your back, smashing your chest against the cold metal wall. Your breasts ached as they were pressed hard against the metal. He brought his lips to your ear. "You're going to regret that later, whore," he growled, pressing your arm further into your back before reefing it up, you let out a whine as your shoulder cracked from the awkward angle. 

"Kylo let me-"

"Sir," he growled once again.

You really fucked up this time. 

"You're lucky I don't snap that pretty fucking neck of yours," his breath was hot against your neck, his breathing was erratic, he was furious. 

"Do it, you'd be doing me a favour, asshole," a frustrated groan left your throat. Your crotch was wet, and you didn't know why. "Do it, break my fucking neck," you snarled.

"No, I don't think I will," he breathed, pulling away, your arm falling to your side, your shoulder aching. 

You groan, "Well what are you going to do to me then, Sir?" you were frustrated as you turned to face him. His face was red, you weren't sure whether it was due to anger, or something else.

"A lot of things," his baritone voice, low, furious. 

"I think you're just sending empty threats," you raised your eyebrow, between your legs was still wet.

What the fuck? 

"Oh don't you worry," he growled, his gloved hand was soon around your wrist again, your breathing hitched in your throat once again. "You'll find out soon enough, Princess."

You swallowed as he ripped you away from the wall, positioning you on the front of his hip as he marched you out of the room, being sure to have a tight grip on you. 

You were sure you were doomed. 

But at the same time, you were looking forward to it.


	6. Chapter 5

Warning: depictions of sexual assault and violence

Your heart was in your throat as Kylo marched you down the long hallway. You stumbled as you tried keeping up with his long strides.

Crew that passed gave you sympathetic looks before dropping their gaze to the floor. It only made your heart pound faster against your chest, threatening to crack your rib cage. 

Kylo turned a corner quickly, jolting you to the side and nearly tripping you over once again. 

You swallowed the lump that accumulated in your throat. "Where are you taking me?" Your voice was shaky. 

No response. 

You tried to wriggle your wrist free of his grasp but he only dug his fingers in deeper, you feared if he squeezed any harder your wrist would snap. 

He jerked on your wrist once again as he entered a dark room. The door shut behind the both of you with a loud hiss. 

As you glanced around the room you studied the dark metal walls and the strange hooks mounted on them. Chains hung from the hooks and there were large metal restraints attached to them. 

Oh, oh no. 

You began to panic. "Kylo I told you I was sorry!" You tried prying yourself away from his grip but he spun you around and pushed you into the wall once again. You felt the invisible pressure against your throat once more, not that it was suffocating you, but holding you in place. 

"You tried to kill me," his voice was calm, "I don't think a simple 'sorry' will fix that," he tilted his head at you before bending down to pick up the restraints that were attached to the heavy chains. 

"Commander it won't happen again," your lip trembled as you watch him latch the restraints around your small dainty wrists. You tried to pull them away but his force hold had you immobile. 

There was a brief moment of silence, and you thought Kylo perhaps changed his mind. 

But you were struck with the back of his hand, the black leather of his glove stinging your cheek. You were thrown sideways due to his blow, and tears stung your eyes. 

"You're pathetic," he mused. "I don't know how The Resistance deal with you." His voice was low as he bent down in front of you. 

You hadn't noticed the hook located in the middle of the room with more chains and restraints. In a matter of seconds he clasped the restraints around your ankles. 

You let out a whimper as the force hold dissipated and you were finally able to move again, but due to the restraints, you couldn't move far. 

"Is this necessary?" You huffed, shaking the chains with your leg. "Why don't you just kill me?" 

His pale face peered down at you as he rose to his feet. His tall frame towered over you, his black attire blending in with the darkness of the room. A small sound of amusement left his throat. "I think it is. After all, you did try and kill me." He took a step towards you.

Anger started to rise within your stomach, the heat vibrating inside you. "Then kill me," You hissed, trying to lurch forward to hit him with your hands, but we're jolted backwards from the heavy chains. 

"No," his lips twitched slightly, "I don't think I will," 

You groan out of frustration before sitting on the cold concrete floor, your hands being held up slightly due to the shorter chain above you. 

"Why? I'm not useful in anyway. I already told you I'm not going to work for you. I belong to The Resistance." You peered up at his muscular body, wrapped tightly in the black tunic he always wore. 

"I like seeing you like this," his voice was dark, like a predator taunting his prey. 

"Like what?" You huffed, rolling your head back to lean against the wall, the cool metal sending goosebumps running up your arms and down your legs. 

"Helpless," his voice was calm as he squatted down in front of you. "I can do what ever I want to you, and you won't be able to stop me." 

Your breathing became erratic, coming in irregular, sharp gasps. "Please, no I-"

Another slap connected with the other side of your face, tears now started to roll down your cheek due to the heavy impact. 

"Shut your mouth," he growled as his hand squeezed your jaw, "you're nothing but a filthy, sly, whore." His fingers squeezed your jaw a little tighter and you let out a soft moan, not only because of the pain, but the tingling between your legs was back. 

You had no idea why, when ever you were around Kylo, these feelings started to surface. It felt like you needed something, you were aching for something. And you feared that you were aching for him. 

Longing for him. 

A small smirk touched his pink lips. 

"You're gonna stay here, until I figure out what to do with you." He reached down to double check your restraints were locked properly. "Maybe when I come back you've learnt some manners," his hand reached up and cradled your cheek, the cool leather soothing the sting from the slap he gave you just moments ago. 

You couldn't help but gather all the saliva you had in your mouth, before spitting, hitting him in his cheek just under his eye. You tried to shuffle away from him as he wiped his face, an evil smile plastered on his gorgeous face.

"Two can play that game, Princess," he hummed, before standing up and marching out of the room. Leaving you on your own, locked up and restrained in the cold, dark room.

++++

It has been days since Kylo left you alone, it felt like an eternity. 

You had tried pulling free from the restraints, multiple times. You tried smashing your wrists and ankles against the wall, trying to break free, but it was of no use. 

It would've had to been late at night. You were exhausted, physically and emotionally. Your body aches from sitting on the hard concrete floor and the dull aches still bit at you from the crash. You were tired. Tired of trying to comprehend what was happening between you and Kylo, tired of trying to give reason to the feelings you had towards him. 

He was beautiful. But he was evil. He was dark, and he was your enemy. 

But he was beautiful. 

You let out a sigh, trying to clear your mind of him again. You figured since you hadn't eaten or drunk anything for two days, it was sending you crazy.

The thought of food made your stomach growl. 

You heard heavy footsteps outside the cell door and the door hissed open moments later. 

A tall man walked through the door with a tray of food. It looked like slop but you were starving. You'd eat anything. 

He was dressed in usual black Star Killer attire, his black hair was combed back away from his face. His face was pasty white, and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Here's your food, you grub," he muttered before throwing the tray down in front of you. 

You frowned. "Gee, thanks, appreciate it." 

He scowled down at you, his arms crossed over his chest. "You shouldn't even be getting fed," 

"Well, I told the commander to kill me, but he didn't want to. Told me he had something else in mind. Didn't think he'd be feeding me." You said before shovelling the grey, cold food into your mouth. You gagged at the taste but swallowed anyways, you were starving. 

"I would love to know how he'd torture you, I would love to watch," a sly smile plastered his crooked face. His teeth were yellow and chipped. 

Gross. 

"Listen, I don't know what your problem is. But thanks for bringing me food!" You smiled up at him, sarcasm laced through your voice.

He squatted down, inches away from you, his dark bloodshot eyes peering down at your chest. It made you uncomfortable and you shifted, crossing your arms over your chest. 

"You can leave now," you said through a mouthful of food.

"No," he breathed, "I don't think I will," his ugly smile didn't leave his dirty face. 

You swallow your food, your heart in your throat, nearly causing you to choke. "What do you want?" You said softly, now starting to fear this man. 

"Maybe you could put that whore mouth of yours to good use," he purred before slapping your tray of food away, sending food flying and coating the wall beside you.

"You come near me with that, and I'll bite it off," you said, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. 

"Oh but that's ok, I can put it elsewhere," He sighed before grabbing your sides, his long fingers digging into your ribcage, as he spun you around so that your chest was pressed against the wall. You whimpered, trying to kick away, but the heavy chains made it almost impossible. You tried wriggling against the wall, but his long fingers dug into your sides, rendering you helpless. 

Fuck. No, no, no.

"P-please," you began to sob, your heart was racing, he was going to hurt you and there was no way you could get away from him, "please don't, please"

God can someone please help me. Please.

"Shut your fucking mouth," he growled before pressing his sweaty hand against your mouth. You took the chance to sink your teeth into his palm, and as soon as you did you tasted the warm metallic taste of blood. He yanked his hand away before shoving your head face first into the metal wall. You cried out as you felt your stitches pop open again due to the blow. 

"No body is going to help you, you worthless cunt," he seethed, you felt his hands rip down your trousers, exposing you to him. You tried to breathe through your sobs that racked through your body but you could only cough and gag on the lack of air. You were a virgin. You had never been in a relationship, never even kissed a boy, and it was going to be ripped away from you without a care in the world. 

Please, fuck, someone help me.

His sweaty hands clasped your ass and you tried to writhe away from him, mouth parted as tears, snot and blood trailed down your face, trying to breathe, trying to scream, but your pleas for help only came as quick sobs. 

Please, this can't happen, this can't be happening. 

The pressure against you was soon ripped away from you, and you were suddenly able to move. You hadn't noticed the door to your cell had opened, you didn't hear the hiss due to your erratic sobs. You flipped around, hiding your exposed lower half against the wall, the icy cold metal stinging your flesh. 

A tall black mass stepped inside, the black helmet catching the light.

Kylo.

"Can I ask what you are doing with my prisoner?" His voice was calm, too calm. It terrified you.

"N-nothing sir! She's a filthy whore and tried coming onto me!" 

A small huff of amusement. "So that's why you're hard? Why you had her bent over whilst she's restrained?" 

He took a large step towards him. 

You desperately tried pulling your pants back up with your wrists restrained but you simply couldn't reach due to the shorter chain. You whimpered again before turning your head to wipe all of the blood and tears off your face onto your shirt. 

Embarrassed, I'm so embarrassed.

"Supreme Leader, I would never-" 

Gurgling sounds filled the hair. Kylo's outreached gloved hand twisted as the force wrapped around the gangly man, slowly suffocating him. He furiously clawed at his throat, his face turning bright red due to the lack of oxygen reaching his brain. 

"I find that very hard to believe," the growl sounded menacing underneath his helmet. He turned his head towards you, and you cowered away, trying to hide your face, trying to vanish into thin air. You were shaking, still sobbing and trying to catch your breath. 

Can this all be over?

The choking sounds grew louder and louder, and before you thought he was just about to die, Kylo let him go, sending him crumpling to the floor. He was still exposed from the waist down. 

"Nobody touches my prisoners, unless it's me," he marched towards him, his lightsaber crackling to life, the low buzzing filling the room, the red glow illuminating the dark corners of the room. 

You watched as Kylo pointed the saber down between your potential rapists legs. A smile threatened your lips, but the bile raising in your throat caught you off guard, before it spewed from your lips, only a small amount of fluid leaving your mouth. You were left breathless as you gagged and retched on the floor. 

"I don't think you'll be needing this," Kylo mused, before ever so slowly moving his crackling saber to the man's private's. 

He started to scream, like, really scream. He was petrified. And so he should be. 

Before you could suck down another breath of oxygen, you heard the saber crackle a little louder as Kylo dismembered him. Screams pierced your ears and you winced, the sheer terror and pain of the man nearly busting your eardrums. 

Blood pooled between his legs, his rough, jagged breaths trying to suck down air. But Kylo was too quick. He put his lightsaber back onto his hip before he pulled the sorry excuse for a man towards him, flipping him around, his back to Kylo's chest. Kylo wrapped his arms around the man's neck within seconds, choking him once more. 

"Your services aren't needed by The First Order anymore," his staticky voice murmured underneath the helmet, before an almighty crack was heard as Kylo jolted his arms, snapping the man's neck clean in half. 

His dead body crumpled to the floor, falling into the puddle of blood. 

Oh, oh fuck me.

You watched from in between your knees as Kylo rose to his feet to face you. 

"Did he hurt you?" His voice was soft, sincere. 

Apart from your ego and your head, you were unharmed. But you knew this would leave you permanently scarred emotionally. 

You shook your head, finally able to bring your breathing back to a normal rate. 

He strides towards you before bending down in front of you. You were still shaking and you jolted away from him as his large gloves hand moved towards your exposed skin. 

"Hey, I'm trying to help you," he cooed, his leather fingers hooking the belt loops of your trousers before slowly pulling them over your exposed behind. "There," 

You were stunned. Two days ago he was slapping you left, right, centre. He gave you nothing to eat or drink in those two days and today he stopped a man from potentially raping you, and he's also pulling your pants up? 

You swallowed, before gazing down at the floor. "Thank you," your voice cracked. You were drained, physically and emotionally. 

You felt him jiggle with the restraints on your ankles, popping them free. Your ankles were grazed and cut up due to the harsh metal. Next he reached up to your wrists, unlatching them too. 

"Do you think you can stand?" You could sense his gaze through the mask. It felt soft, almost caring, but you knew that this monster didn't have the capabilities of caring for anyone or anything. 

Your placed your dirty hands on the cool concrete, trying to push yourself to your feet, but you only stumbled, falling against the wall. You felt heavy, you were so tired. 

I'm so embarrassed. 

"Don't be embarrassed, Princess," he cooed, before you felt yourself lift from the ground. He had you in his arms, his left arm supporting your back and his right arm perched under your knees. "Let's get you cleaned up." 

Your heart started to beat just that little bit faster, as you breathed in his musky scent. Your eyelids were heavy, you struggled to keep them open. You were aching all over. 

Exhausted.

You let out a soft sigh, before everything faded to black, being cradled by the Supreme Leader, the most hated man in this universe. 

Your enemy.


	7. Chapter 6

This part will be in Kylo's perspective. Every time there's a change in perspective, I'll write a little note for you guys :) x

Kylo

She was broken. Exhausted. I could feel the low hum of aches and pains radiating off of her battered body. 

It had been a little over an hour since I brought her back to the med-bay. She stirred slightly, but slept through the nurses fussing over the sutures that popped open due to her encounter with one of the care givers. He wasn't so good at his job, so I simply got rid of him. 

She was tucked into the hospital bed with an IV lodged inside her arm, delivering her the fluids she needed. 

Her hair fell in waves around her soft, but bruised face. Her lips were chapped due to dehydration, and her collar bones were sunken in due to the lack of nutrition over the past couple of days. 

I didn't want to hurt her, but she was part of The Resistance, my enemy, and she needed to learn her place on this ship. But I didn't want her to be sexually assaulted. I draw the line at that shit.

I don't know why I've been sitting in this chair watching her sleep peacefully beside me. Her soft breaths were the only sounds that filled the cold room of the private sector of the med-bay.

I want her to join me, to join The First Order. She'll be of great use when it comes to intel about The Resistance. I needed to destroy them. I wanted to erase them from this galaxy. 

I had already killed Han, my father, but I didn't see him as such. He was weak. The same goes for my mother, Leia's loyalty to The Resistance was sickening. I needed to kill Luke Skywalker, after what he did to me. However, it ended up working in my favour. 

"Commander Ren," 

I sighed before standing to face General Hux. I waited for him to ramble on about what ever bullshit he had to feed me. 

"One of the care takers was found dead and dismembered in your prisoners cell," he began, gazing over to her broken body in the hospital bed. The thin sheet hugging her curves perfectly-

"What did she do?" He hissed. 

"Nothing." A quick breath left my throat. It was dry, I needed a drink. Preferably alcoholic. 

"What do you mean nothing?" Hux crossed his arms, his posture abnormally straight. 

"I killed him," I tilted my head to try and relieve the tension building in my neck.

He was stunned, but I know that he's not stupid enough to not know it was me. 

"What the fuck for Ren?" The vein on his forehead was prominent, ready to burst. I hoped it did. 

I swallowed. "He tried to rape my prisoner," anger starting to boil inside the pit of my stomach at the thought of anybody hurting her, my Princess, and not me. That's my job. 

"Fuck Ren, What would you care? I'm surprised you haven't killed her yet! She did jack shit when you asked her to help fix your mess!" He began advancing towards me, his boots squeaking on the sterile floors. 

"You know I draw the line at rape," 

"Oh," he let out a laugh, "so you'll beat her senseless, break her bones, abuse her, but won't fuck her?" He scoffed.

"Exactly." Fuck, I really needed that drink. 

"What a waste," he shook his head, a look of disbelief plastered on his pasty white face. 

"General," a growl left my throat, "if you don't mind, once my prisoner wakes up, bring her to my quarters. I'm not leaving her in her quarters if I can't trust people on this fucking ship," 

"But-"

"My orders General, she's got an hour at most until she wakes up." I bent down to pick up my helmet. "But for now, I'm going to get a drink. You can watch her." I began to stride passed him but something pulled at me to stop. 

Guilt. 

"And make sure nothing happens to her, or I'll have your fucking head." I said before leaving him to his own devices. I heard him mumble and cuss under his breath as I made my way down the endless hallway towards the bar, pulling on my helmet.

I needed to try and get into her head, try and get her to change her mind, to join me instead of fight me. But I know how hard it's going to be. She's a tough little bitch that's for sure. I know she can hold her own, but hearing her screams for help in my head, it brought up strange feelings. They were foreign to me. 

Almost like it was my duty. Even though I should be torturing her, ripping her to shreds whilst gaining intel of The Resistance. Every other Resistance prisoner I captured were dead within a couple of hours. But this one, there was something different about her. 

She was strong. She was independent. She would definitely cope on her own without a worry in the world. And I admired her for that. 

The smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol filled my nostrils, even under this helmet. The low humming inside the bar ceased as I stepped inside. Everyone, every single person spun on their chairs to stare at me. 

I sigh, and wait for them all to acknowledge my presence in unison. I rolled my eyes before striding over to the bar, the bartender was a woman in tight black shorts and a white button up shirt, her ridiculously large breasts threatening to pop the first couple of buttons. 

"What can I get for you, Supreme Leader?" Her eyelashes fluttered as she wiped the inside of a glass with a cloth. 

"Whisky," I muttered before taking off my helmet and placing it next to me, raking my fingers through my hair. "On the rocks," 

"Yes sir," she giggled as she spun around, grabbing a small cubed glass from the shelf before adding a cup of ice into it, followed by the whisky. 

Her ass was nearly completely exposed her tights were so short. I advert my eyes away to the corner of the room. Fuck, some women.

"Here you go, sir," a seductive smile plastered on her heavily powdered face. Her bright red lipstick still took a while to get used to. 

"Thanks," I mumbled before grasping the glass and bringing it to my lips, swallowing the harsh liquor, a groan leaving my throat. 

I needed this. 

"So, Commander, have you been busy?" The bartender leans down, her breasts literally about to fall out of her top in front of me. 

"Im not here for small talk." I took another swig, the slow burn of the liquor soothing my throat. 

"Wow, I'm sorry Commander, won't happen again," she scoffed before turning away and strutting down to the other side of the bar. 

Thank fuck. 

Talking to imbeciles on this ship was the last thing I wanted to be doing right now.

What I really wanted to be doing, was Princess. 

Caressing her soft curves, touching and tasting every inch of her body. Running my fingers over the scars and bruises that littered her perfect body. Running my hands through her hair, sucking on her neck. I wanted to be inside of her. Gently at first, before ruining her. Completely destroying her, making her cum, just for me. 

I took the last swig of my whisky, feeling my cock twitch. 

Fuck.

I placed the glass down before rising to my feet, placing the helmet back onto my head. 

I needed Princess to be in my quarters for tonight. Just so I knew where she was and that she was at least safe. I need her alive to be able to try and convert her to the dark side, to join us. 

As I made my way out of the bar, two stormtroopers marched their way over to me. 

"What?" 

They stopped and glanced at one another before the one on the right spoke, "There's been news that The Resistance are heading to Canto Bight." 

"Any reason?" 

"There's been word that General Organa has some 'special' business there. Apparently regarding some new weaponry." 

What would they need more weaponry for? 

"Do we know when?" 

"We believe they're departing D'Qar in two days," 

I nodded, "Ok, report back to General Hux when you get the chance," 

In reality I should be informing Hux, but I just don't want to deal with him again for tonight. 

I continued down multiple hallways, almost every crew person that I walked passed cowered away and picked up their pace to avoid me. 

Good. 

I rounded the corner before finding myself out the front of my quarters. I pressed in my code, the matte black doors hissing open as the keypad beeped and glowed a green hue. 

I walked inside, letting out a sigh as I pulled my helmet off of my shoulders once more before placing it on my dark oak table. I looked up at the clock inside my kitchen, it read 2030. In another half hour she should be waking up, and with the fluids the nurses pumped into her she should be rearing to go, quite literally. Once she wakes up she'll probably rip into Hux like an animal. I rather him than me.

I took the available time to shower, the hot water running over my body, saturating my hair. It hung in my eyes and I straightened, running my fingers through my matted hair. I really needed to cut it, but at the same time, I liked having something for the women to pull while I fucked them. 

I haven't been with anyone for months, and it was starting to grow harder and harder to restrain myself from picking any random woman on Star Killer who was craving it just as much as I did.

Maybe one day Princess will give in. One day.

I tensed at the thought of her once more. Her smart mouth. I'd definitely fix that filthy mouth of hers when I got the chance. I'd have her gagging on my cock, not allowing her to breathe as I fucked her throat, my fingers gripping her hair to hold her steady while I thrusted into her pretty, but filthy mouth.

Heat started to pool between my legs as my cock started to harden.

Fuck.

Within a matter of seconds I gave in to my thoughts, slowly starting to stroke my cock, a groan leaving my throat. I needed her. She was my prisoner, I could take her wherever and whenever I wanted. I could have fucked her up against the wall while she was restrained, but I didn't. I wouldn't. I would never do anything like that to her. 

At least, not until she asked. 

Another groan left me as I began stroking faster, harder, gripping my cock with my right hand while I pressed my other against the cool tiles of the shower wall. The thought of her on her knees in front of me peering up at me, begging with those eyes, those fucking eyes, forced my breathing to become erratic as I came closer to cumming.

If only she was here, taking my cock like the whore she was, moaning my name, digging her nails into my back, screaming.

"Fuck," I rolled my head back and gritted my teeth. I never thought I'd be jacking off to a prisoner. But she's perfect. So fucking perfect. 

I need her. 

Only her. 

I shut my eyes as my hand found my hair, grasping a handful of it, wishing it was her pulling it instead. I leant forward against the wall to steady myself before I came, moaning her name as cum coated my fingers and the shower wall. 

Fuck. 

She makes me weak. 

I quickly directed the stream of water towards the wall to clean the evidence of me losing it over Princess before stepping out of the shower. I wrapped one of my black towels around my waist before making my way out of the bathroom towards my bedroom. Pillows and sheets were still sprawled out on top of my bed seeing as this morning I didn't bother making my bed. 

I never do. 

I open the cupboards to grab my black tee shirt and black track pants. Black is all I owned. 

I quickly dry myself off before slipping into my clothes. 

She should be here any minute with Hux. I'm sure I'll hear them coming, most likely her yelling whilst clawing at Hux. 

I wonder what her reaction will be once she enters my quarters. Will she be a smart ass? Most likely. 

And I loved that about her. 

I sat down at the desk after grabbing myself another whisky from my kitchen, the glass full to the brim. I'll need to have a few drinks under my belt to deal with her tonight.

"Let go of me!" 

Ah, speak of the devil.

I took a sip of my whisky before standing as General Hux waltzed inside my room, Princess attached to his hip. 

She was still in the same soiled clothes she had been wearing for three days. Her hair was matted and the bruises around her face and neck were now a yellow colour. 

She froze once her eyes landed on me. 

"Oh fuck, Hux, take me back please!" She tried ripping away but he pushed her forwards towards me. 

"Hurry up and take her Ren," he growled. I noticed the scratch marks on his face. 

"A bit wild today are we?" I peered down at her before back at Hux. 

"Indeed," he scoffed, "now take her, I don't want anything else to do with this animal," he huffed before turning and striding out of my room. Princess tried to follow him, but with a quick nod of my head, I shut the doors and locked them using The Force. She spun around and gave me the dirtiest look she was capable of. 

Cute. 

"You're not going anywhere," I took another sip of my whisky. "In fact, I want you to shower and change those clothes," 

"Like fuck I am," she hissed.

"Good to see you're back to yourself," I sat down once again, admiring the glowing ball of anger standing before me, her little hands clenched at her side. I quickly imagined what they'd look like around my cock. How her small hands would work it while she bobbed her head against me.

"Why have you brought me here?" Her voice was strained as she tried to compose herself, but I knew she'd lose it any minute now. 

Best not to piss her off tonight.

"Well after the events of this morning, I'd rather you be here than your own quarters so I know you're safe," 

She erupted into a fit of laughter. 

I'd find it cute if it weren't sarcastic. 

"Safe? Here with you? I'd rather die," she placed her hands on her hips, a scowl plastered on her pretty face.

"Well, I don't want you dead, so I'm giving you the opportunity to shower and change into clean clothes." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. 

A small noise of amusement left her throat. "Did you honestly roll your eyes? What are you, twelve?" She frowned. 

Annoyance and anger started to rise in the pit of my stomach, so I took another swig of whisky. "Look, if you want to sleep on the floor smelling like shit, go ahead." I gestured towards the small rug at the foot of my bed. 

She stared at me for a moment, thinking. I took the chance to peer into her mind. 

She was in the shower scrubbing at her skin, washing her hair and relieving it of the knots. Her body-

"Fine," she huffed. "Where is it?" She crosses her arms. 

I nodded my head to the side. "Through there," another sip of whisky. "I'll get General Hux to fetch you fresh clothes while you're in there." 

She rolled her eyes.

"Did you honestly roll your eyes? What are you, twelve?" a smirk threatened my lips. 

"Fuck you," she hissed as she tried to sneak passed me. I swallowed before placing the glass down and throwing my hand out to catch her with the invisible force I possessed, pinning her to the wall. 

I stood up and stalked over to her. The look on her face was priceless as she struggled to fight against it, a small groan leaving her throat. 

"Oh Princess, I'd never give you the chance," I placed my hands beside her head before leaning down. 

The low hum of pleasure resinated off her. 

Good.

"Get away from me, you fucking asshole," she hissed, pressing her head back into the wall to try and get away from me. 

"I'm only trying to help you Princess," I breathed against her neck. Oh how I wanted to suck on her neck, leaving marks all over her soft skin. 

"Don't call me that," her voice was strained, she was enjoying this, I could feel her energy, and tapping into her mind for a second proved it. She was feeling the pressure between her legs, wondering what it was. 

"My apologies," I gazed up to her once more, her eyes frantically trying to avoid mine. "Do you prefer Whore instead?" I brought my hand up to her chin, squeezing it between my thumb and forefinger. 

Her breath hitched in her throat. "How about my actual name?" 

"Hm," I let go of her chin, "maybe when you calm down I'll start treating you like a person," I released the invisible pressure from around her and she fell forward into my chest. 

Fuck. 

She quickly pushed herself away before vanishing into the bathroom and locking the door behind her. 

A smirk touched my lips. I could easily break through that door using the force, but I think it'll be best to leave her for a while. 

"Make sure you get my clothes!" Her muffled voice squeaked from behind the door. 

I huffed.

Anything for you Princess.


	8. Chapter 7

Sorry I didn't chuck a warning on the last chapter for smut, so here's a quick warning this chapter is pretty hot 🥵 I'll be sure to put a little warning up for chapters that need it but this is a Kylo fic so there's bound to be smut 💀

He was a fucking asshole. 

A dead set, asshole.

The hot water attacked your battered skin, and you groan as you welcomed it. 

At least he let you shower. 

You couldn't get over him in his casual outfit. The black tee shirt and the track pants. You nearly started to drool when you entered his quarters and saw him standing with the glass of whisky. 

He was so handsome. 

Fuck. 

You were still in pain from your ordeal this morning with one of the care givers. Mostly your back and your legs from trying to kick him away. After washing your hair you sunk to the floor, the cool tiles biting at your tender skin as you lent against the wall and brought your knees to your chest. 

You're never going to get out of here. The Resistance haven't even come for you. You would have thought Jackson had already made a plan to get together a small group of fighters to come rescue you. But nothing had happened. And you didn't think anything would. At least not for a while. 

The thought of being stuck on Star Killer with Kylo Ren made your heart ache. 

But the thought of Kylo Ren made you ache elsewhere. You had never had these feelings until meeting him. You felt empty, like you were missing something. And every time you were around him, it only grew stronger.

When he had you against the wall it was driving you crazy. You wanted him, but you didn't want to admit that, to him or to yourself. 

How stupid am I to think being with the Supreme Leader is a good idea? 

But the thought of his muscular build, those eyes, those fucking eyes, and that scar...

The ache between your legs was back, and you squeeze your thighs together, but it was no use; instead it clenched, wanting attention. 

You bite your lip before opening your legs slightly, your hand travelling down your stomach towards the heat between your legs. Your fingers grazed along your slit, the wetness from your sex coating your fingers. 

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in as you slowly stroked yourself in small circles, wishing it was Kylo doing it instead. 

The thought of him pinning you against the wall flooded your brain again and you let out a soft moan before covering your mouth with your free hand, hoping Kylo didn't hear you. 

Your head rolled back against the shower wall as hot water continued to cascade over your body as you slowly began working a finger inside of you. You shut your eyes and bite at your palm to try and quiet yourself but a strangled moan left your throat once again. 

Please don't hear me.

The warmth pooling in your belly grew as you pictured Kylo pleasuring you against the wall while you held onto his muscular shoulders. His lips pressed to your throat, his hot breath against your ear.

Fuck, Kylo.

As you slowly came closer to your orgasm, you felt something against your clit, a small vibration. You clamped your eyes shut and continued stroking inside yourself, your legs beginning to shake from the overwhelming pleasure that was occurring between your legs. 

That mother fucker. He knew. 

He knew what you were doing, and he was helping you.

You were contemplating on stopping seeing as he technically caught you jacking off to him, but you were so close, and you didn't want to stop. You couldn't. The pressure on your clit only grew and you whimpered into your hand. 

'It's ok, nobody will hear you, Princess,'

Your eyes shot open, thinking Kylo had entered the bathroom, but he hadn't. He was inside your head. 

This is too much. 

You pulled your hand away and tried to shut your legs, but the invisible force was holding them open while Kylo worked at your clit from the other room. 

How the fuck are you doing this?

'I can do a lot of things, Princess."

A strangled moan left your throat again, this time you weren't covering you mouth and you let your body take over. 

'But letting you cum isn't one of them.'

And the pressure was gone. 

A whine left your throat, you were so close, and it was gone. You desperately tried to finish yourself, but you were completely numb and couldn't feel anything. 

That mother fucker. 

A build up of frustration and anger built up in your stomach before rising to your throat. You quickly stumbled to your feet and shut off the water, before quickly wrapping yourself in one of Kylo's huge fluffy towels. You stood at the door, in a fit of anger and also too embarrassed to open it to face him. 

"Can you pass my clothes in!" 

No response. 

Of course. 

You let out a quick breath before unlocking the door, slowly sliding it open to peak outside. He was sitting at his desk with a new glass of whisky. 

"Kylo-"

"Supreme Leader,"

"Right, Supreme Loser," you rolled your eyes, "can you pass my clothes?" You said pointing shyly through the crack of the sliding door. 

"Hm," he took a sip of his whisky. "No," 

"Please?" 

"You can come out and get them," a small smirk touched his pink lips as he took another sip of whisky. 

Fuck this dude's an alcoholic. 

Something we have in common I guess.

"Enjoy your shower?" He tilted his head, the scar on his face catching the light. 

Your breath hitches in your throat and you struggled to swallow. 

"Fuck you. Pass me my clothes please." 

He stood up before slamming down the rest of the whisky. There was like half a glass left in it and he just finished it like that. 

Fuck. 

He stalked over towards you, slowly picking your clothes up that were folded on the bed. He made his way over ever so slowly, drinking you in from the crack of the door. 

"Here," his voice was raspy, and he smelt of whisky as he held out your clothes. 

"About time," you huffed as you snatched the clothes from him, your cheeks burning bright red. 

Your legs were still a little shaky, and your heart was still thumping in your chest. You were struggling to hide your embarrassment from him. 

"What's the problem, Princess?" 

You glared up into those gorgeous golden brown eyes before slamming the door shut in his face, but he was too quick and he caught it before you could lock it. 

"Let me look at you," his eyes were glazed over due to the alcohol he had been consuming for the past hour. 

"Kylo no-"

He squeezed through the door, walking towards you and backing you up into the basin. You swallowed as he towered over you, all you had covering you was one of his towels. Luckily it was big enough to cover you enough. 

"Relax, Princess," he breathed as his hands grasped the sides of you, his strong fingers digging into your ribs. You winced slightly as they were still tender and he lifted you up into the basin beside the sink. 

Your heart was in your throat, and that feeling between your legs was back. This can't be happening. Your cheeks were hot and your breathing was coming in quick little pants as you looked up at Kylo. His eyes were a little bloodshot and heavy.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that this morning," his deep voice was soft, almost caring. But you tried to remember that he's not capable of that. Caring. 

"Commander, please let me get dressed," 

He shook his head. "No, not until we finish what we started," 

It took you a moment to realise what he meant and once you realised, you were sure your heart stopped. 

"No, Kylo you're drunk," 

"Oh Princess, you'll know if I'm drunk, this is nothing," 

His large hand rested on your thigh that was slightly exposed due to the towel being pulled up. His fingers drew small gentle circles on the inside of your thigh. 

The steam from the shower lead to the mirrors beside you fogging up due to the condensation and it started to wet Kylo's hair slightly. 

Fuck he's beautiful. 

"I haven't done anything like this before," your voice cracked, and you looked down, having no idea how Kylo would take this news. He stilled for a moment. 

"You haven't done this?" 

"Anything," your lips turned to a thin line as you look back up at him. He was gazing down at you with those big gorgeous eyes, his mouth parted slightly. 

There was a small moment of silence before he spoke, his voice thick with lust and alcohol, "Oh, Princess. That's ok," his large hand travelled up the inside of your thigh, your body still hot and wet from your shower. You didn't get a chance to dry yourself properly. 

You began to pant as his hands inched closer to your sex. He stopped before looking back up to you, his eyes asking for permission. The ache between your legs was screaming for him, and you nodded your head. 

He bent down before pressing his lips to your neck. He brought his hand back up to your mouth, his middle finger pressing against your lips. "Suck," he voice was thick.

You swallowed before slowly opening your mouth. He slowly pressed his finger through your teeth before pressing down onto your tongue. You closed your mouth around him before starting to gently suck on his finger. 

A heavy groan left his chest and your stomach clenched, wanting him. 

He pulled his finger away before slipping his hand under the towel, and slowly his fingers started gliding up the middle of your opening.

A whimper left your throat as his calloused fingers started to slowly work circles on your clit. You reached up and hung onto his shoulders, your small fingers gripping into the muscles. 

"I hate you," you tried to steady your voice but it came out as a moan. 

"I'm sure you do Princess," his voice hummed against your neck as he nibbled lightly at your tender skin. Another moan left your throat as he slipped a finger inside of you before curling upwards. "You're so tight," he growled. 

"Fuck," you shuddered as he slowly started curling his finger inside of you before slowly adding another. "Kylo," 

"Shh, I know," his thumb found your clit once more so he could work you from all directions. Your legs started to quake against him and you opened your legs wider so he could get to you easily. "Good girl," he hummed. 

Another moan left your mouth. 

Here you were, hating on the Supreme Leader, refusing to serve him and hated being in the same room as him, and now you're letting him explore your body with his hands and mouth. 

"Kylo, let me look at you," your voice cracked. 

He shook his head as he bit down onto your shoulder, surely leaving a mark. You cried out as he picked up the pace, his fingers starting to work quickly against you. His free hand reached out and wiped the mirror beside you, removing the condensation in a long streak, allowing you to peer at your's and Kylo's reflection as he fingered you. It was nearly too much and sent you over the edge but you leant forward into him, clutching at him as he brought you closer to your climax. 

The vision of you hanging onto his massive frame while he assaults your neck with his mouth and attacks your clit, the muscles in his arm twitching underneath the tee shirt was now burnt into your brain. 

And you loved it. 

"Fuck Kylo, I'm going to-" 

"I know Princess," he planted a soft kiss on your collarbone. "Cum for me," it was more of an order than a plea. 

And with that, you came, your walls clenching around his fingers, your legs shaking and your nails digging into his shoulders. Various moans and whimpers left your throat as you come down from your high, your body still wracking against him. 

"Fuck, fuck...Kylo," your voice was strained as you tried catching your breath. It was coming in shallow gasps. 

The Supreme Leader has been the first man to touch you like this. The first man to make you cum. 

You slowly let go of him and he pulled away, sweat was dripping from his forehead, his mouth parted. 

You looked at his lips, wanting to feel them against yours. But you quickly looked away, embarrassed. 

"How was that?" He was trying to catch his breath, too. 

A small smile touched your lips. "Yeah look, not bad," 

It was fucking amazing. 

His lips curled in a small smirk. "Good," he pulled away, his fingers coated with your cum. He looked down at them before bringing them to his lips and inserting them into his mouth. 

Your mouth fell open in awe as you watched him close his eyes and proceed to suck your cum off his fingers. 

Oh fuck...

He pulled his fingers from his mouth before looking back down at you, his eyes heavy with lust.

"Get dressed and get to bed, you need rest." He run his fingers through his hair before turning and exiting the bathroom. 

The door clicked shut and you took a moment to try and ground yourself and steady your senses. 

Kylo Ren, just made you cum, he toyed with you while you showered and he had just finished the job. And he did a fucking good job too. 

You slowly slide off the basin and begin to clean yourself off, before slipping into the fresh clean clothes Kylo had organised for you. A black tank top and black track pants, much like his own. There was also fresh underwear. You thanked the Gods that he had the initiative to get you clean underwear. 

You pulled your hair up into a high pony tail after quickly towel drying your hair. You peered into the mirror and bit your lip. Your cheeks were bright red and flustered. There were already marks forming on your neck from where Kylo had been biting and sucking at your skin. 

You'd hoped he didn't do it because he was drunk, but instead that he wanted to actually do it. It would kill you if you just gave this away to him, your first sexual experience to him and he was drunk and not going to remember what happened. But at the same time he didn't seem overly intoxicated. 

A smile touched your lips before you sucked in a breath and shuffled out of the bathroom. 

Kylo was laying on the bed, his data pad in hand as he typed away. He had pulled his shirt off and his bottom half was underneath the black sheets of the bed. His skin was so beautifully pale. The scar that lingered on his face travelled down to finish on the right side of his chest. He was so built.

You swallow before looking down. 

"Well, goodnight then," you mumbled before making your way over to the rug on the floor. 

"Where are you going?" He chuckled. 

"You told me I had to sleep on the floor," you frowned. 

"No, Princess," he placed the data pad down on the bedside table. "You can sleep in the bed, I'm not going to touch you." He shuffled over to the left side of the bed. 

You froze for a moment. "Uh, I don't know," 

He rolled his eyes before grabbing one of the remaining pillows from the ground and placing it next to him. "Here, there can be a pillow barrier between us so we don't touch one another," 

You tilted your head. 

Why did you find that was cute? 

You swallow before looking at the glass resting on his desk. "Do you have any more?" 

He looked over at the glass. "Sure, it's in the pantry," he laid back and rested his hand behind his head, his muscles rippling beneath his pale skin. 

Your cheeks heated up once again before grabbing the glass and shuffling to the kitchen, pulling open the pantry. There were multiple bottles of liquor in his pantry, but of course they were too high for you to reach. 

The downfalls of being short.

A small noise of amusement came from Kylo as he peered over to you with one eye open. "What did you want?"

You swallow before peering up at the multiple bottles of liquor. You scanned the different types before finding your favourite. 

Tequila. 

"Um, Tequila," 

"You're going to have a glass of Tequila before bed?" He sat up in bed, his hair falling around his shoulders. You could see the small scratch marks you had left on him. 

"Yeah, go hard or go home," 

You watched as he reached his hand out, and the bottle of tequila began to shake before it slowly lifted off the top shelf and floated towards you. You tried to stop yourself from smiling as you grabbed onto it. 

"Thank you," 

"Alcoholic," he huffed before falling back onto the bed, the mattress bouncing underneath his heavy frame. 

"Out of your mouth," you smirked as you poured the tequila into the glass, filling it half way. You left the bottle on the bench before bringing the glass to your lips, gulping down the tequila in one swig. 

Kylo's eyes widened as you swallowed, placing the glass into the sink. 

"You're a freak," he muttered. 

"I wouldn't say that," you smiled as you tried to hide the fact your oesophagus was burning. 

You quietly make your way back over to him and his little pillow barrier. "Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?" You crossed your arms as you stood at the side of the bed. "Do you feel bad for leaving me locked up and beating me?" 

"I didn't beat you,"

"Well you slapped me," 

"You enjoyed it," he closed his eyes before taking in a breath. 

You swallowed, "no I didn't-"

"Your cunt said otherwise," 

You near on choke on your breath. "I beg your pardon?" You were stunned, you weren't expecting him to say something like that.

"You heard me. Now shut up and get into bed before I change my mind and make you sleep on the floor like a dog," 

Charming.

You hesitated before pulling back the sheet and sliding into bed, your back to him. You were about to sleep next to Kylo fucking Ren.

Your enemy. 

You curled into a tight ball before pulling the sheet up over your shoulders, accidentally pulling the sheet off of Kylo. 

But you didn't care, in fact you smiled to yourself as he yanked the sheet back over him with a sound of annoyance. 

"Don't start that shit with me, Princess," you could still smell the whisky on him, and you liked it. 

"Yes Commander," you muttered as you snuggled into the pillow. It smelt like him. The light musky scent and some after shave that you weren't familiar with filled your nostrils.

He let out a sigh before rolling over, his back facing you as you peeked over your shoulder. His back was littered with scars, and the fresh red marks where you nails had been glowed under the dim lights.

You wanted to touch him, but realised it probably wasn't a wise choice, so you rolled back over before breathing in his scent once more. 

"Goodnight, Supreme Leader," you almost giggled, and you hated it. 

A soft sound of relaxation left him as he nuzzled into his pillow. 

"Goodnight, Princess." 

Disclaimer: guys I think I just died writing this chapter. No cap.   
I hope you guys are enjoying this!


	9. Chapter 8

You woke with a start, your body jolting you awake. Drool coated the pillow beneath you and your hair was a mess and covering your face. 

You quickly peered up at the time, it read 0800.

You hadn't slept this well since leaving the Tantive IV. 

And never to return. 

"You're such a pretty sleeper," 

You jolted as you pulled your hair from your face, squinting from the bright lights in the kitchen. Kylo stood at the kitchen bench with a mug in hand. It was tiny in comparison to his large hands. 

The hands that touched you in places you've never been touched before. 

His hair was messy, and the bags under his eyes told you he hadn't slept so well last night, or that he was hungover. 

"Hungover are you, Commander?" You sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes before peering back at him. He was still shirtless. You could stare at him all day.

"No," he took a sip from his mug. "Do you want a coffee?" 

You shook your head, "I don't drink that shit," you yawned. 

"Suit yourself," he huffed as he finished his coffee before striding over to his dresser. He pulled out the usual cowl as well as his other black garments. "Now," your name fell from his lips and your stomach twisted in a knot. "I want you to actually do some work today-"

You groan. "No," 

He spun around, his clothes in hand. His large chest expanded as he sucked in a breath. "You'll do as you're told." 

"Hm, I don't think so." 

"You'll be assigned with the engineer you worked with previously. There's some minor tests that need to be run-"

"I'm not working for you Kylo," you let out a small laugh, but by the look on Kylo's face, you knew he found it far from funny. 

He dropped his clothes on the edge of the bed, before clambering towards you. You swallowed as he shoved you back into the mattress, his giant stature towering over the top of you. 

Your heart started to pound a little harder and butterflies tickled the sides of your stomach. 

"Don't make me tell you again, otherwise I'll use the force and make you do it. And let me tell you, Princess, you'll have a fucking terrible headache after it," his hand travelled up your side towards your head. 

Your ears started to ring slightly and the familiar crushing pressure began to fill your head slowly. 

"Ok! Fine," You pouted, peering up at him. For some reason, you felt almost comfortable with him now. Early last night you couldn't bare to be in the same room with him. And here you were underneath him, wanting him, before he gets up for work. What ever that entails. 

"Good," he pulled away from you slightly, gazing down at your body. "Maybe one day, I can trust you enough to be able to fly one of our TIE fighters," 

Your stomach flipped. You had always wanted to fly a TIE fighter, but the comment about him being able to trust you hit differently. 

It hurt, but at the same time, you still were his prisoner, you were here to give him intel about The Resistance. But you had already given him all you knew. And it's not like you could gain any more information from them, you had no idea where they were, and if they were coming to try and rescue you. 

"I'm probably a better pilot than most that are already employed," 

A small sound of amusement left his throat as his hair hung around his face. "Says the one that crashed because a few Stormtroopers were shooting at you," 

You swallowed as a small moment of silence came between you both. You so desperately wanted to touch him, to caress his face, trace his scar and those lips with your fingers. 

But the thought of last night crept into your mind and your cheeks heated. Embarrassed, you pushed him away and sat up. He tilted his head as he studied you from the edge of the bed. 

"Kylo," you started, "last night-"

"Yeah?" His dark eyes didn't leave yours, and your heart began to pump a little harder, your ears starting to ring as blood rushes passed them. 

"Why did you, you know," you looked down at your fingers fiddling with the sheet as a hint of anxiety crept into your veins. "Why did you do it?" 

"Because you wanted it," 

"That's not the answer I'm looking for," you huffed. "Because you wanted to manipulate me or something?" 

He frowned. "Princess if I wanted to do that I would've just tapped into your mind." 

He's avoiding my question. 

"No I'm not," his voice hardened. "I told you, you could have a life here, have a purpose and I'm willing to give that to you," 

You scoff, "By fingering me?" 

The words left a sour taste in your mouth as you said it aloud, making what happened last night so much more, real. 

He stilled for a moment. "I don't have time for this shit," he muttered before standing from the side of the bed and scooping up his clothes. 

"Kylo-" 

"No, enough." He snapped as he proceeded to stride to the bathroom to change. 

You swallowed. He was avoiding the question. And you didn't know why. If only you could tap into his mind to see what he was thinking. It frustrated you, not knowing what Kylo Ren was thinking when he was with you. 

Why did he do what he did last night? 

Answer me.

You hoped you'd get a response in your head from him but he completely shut you out. 

You sigh before getting out of bed, stretching your arms behind you to release the tension building in your shoulders. 

You bent down and quickly changed into your work uniform that had been brought in last night along with your sleepwear. Kylo exited the bathroom in his 'scary Supreme Leader' outfit but without his helmet. 

"When I come to check on you and the other engineer, you better be fucking working," he growled before grabbing the helmet off the table and leaving his quarters. 

What the fuck? 

You had obviously touched a nerve that he wasn't happy about. But what could it be? You were sure he was just playing the nice guy when he wanted to try and tempt you to work for The First Order, but there was something else, something more raw you could feel radiating off him.

You make your way to the bathroom to fix your hair. You would have to head back to your quarters to brush your teeth and make your way to the cafeteria to grab something to eat. It would be the first time being back out with the crew members since Kylo locked you up. And you found that a little intimidating. 

People would no doubt stare at you, wondering where you had been, why you weren't dead yet. But at least you'll get to see Lexa and Noah again.

You quickly gathered yourself together before making your way out of Kylo's quarters. Luckily there was nobody around to see you exit the Supreme Leader's quarters. 

You made your way down the winding hallways, avoiding the eyes of the countless amounts of crew that passed you on your way to your quarters. 

You quickly brushed your teeth when you finally made it to your quarters before waltzing back out again.

You figured it was best not to piss Kylo off today, after his quick exit from his quarters after your question. You still wondered what got under his skin. 

Nonetheless, you should just do as your told, at least for today.

****

"How are you not dead yet?" Noah's blue eyes were wide as he gazed at all the yellowing bruises and scars that were visible from underneath the black overalls Kylo had put out for you. 

"Look I wouldn't say I'm lucky, but I figure my charm and sarcasm can get me out of anything." 

That was a lie, in fact your charm and sarcasm would probably be the things that actually got you killed. 

"So he had you locked up with no food or water for two days?" His raspy voice was hushed as we went through our datapads which had various information and data on one of the TIE fighters. 

Ballsy of them to let me into the hangar. 

"Yeah, it's ok, probably did my body good," you laughed, 

"Oh shut up, that's crazy. I thought for sure he had slaughtered you." He flicked through his datapad, trying to look busy as other crew people marched passed us. 

"Nope, still here, unfortunately." You sighed. 

The thoughts of last night kept replaying through your head, the way he looked at you with those eyes, the way he held you. The way he made you cum-

"I heard you were in his quarters last night?" 

Your stomach dropped and you near on choked on your own air. "What? Where'd you hear that from?" 

"Hux," 

You frowned. That mother fucker. Why would he go around saying that? Surely Kylo won't be happy with that. 

"Um, yeah I did. I was supposed to go back to my quarters, but Kylo wanted me to-"

"You said the K-word," his eyes were wide. "He'd hate hearing you say that," 

"Oh shut up," you rolled your eyes. "We had some issues and he just preferred to keep an eye on me for that night." You looked down as your cheeks started to heat up. 

"Right," Noah's eyebrow raised. "So how come you're actually helping me today?" He fiddled with some of the documents on the bench we were sitting in front of. 

"Well, he wasn't exactly in a good mood this morning, and I don't really want to be locked up again." You placed the databad on the bench before rising to your feet, stretching as you did so. 

You hadn't seen Kylo all day, you were relieved, but you also missed him, only a little. You had no idea why you missed him, and it frustrated you. He was so hot and cold with you, and you hated being a punching bag. 

It was time for your lunch break and your stomach growled at the thought of it. You hadn't eaten anything all day. "Noah it's lunch," 

"Fuck really? That went quick." He rose to his feet, and stretched his neck. "Let's go then, man's gotta eat," he laughed. 

As the both of you make your way out of the hangar of the ship and down the long hallway towards the cafeteria, you spot Kylo as he rounds the corner of the hallway.

Oh fuck. 

Noah tensed beside you as the both of you tried to quietly pass him, but the static calling your name froze you in place. 

"Yes Commander?" You turned to face him, peering up at the black voids of his helmet. Noah was quiet beside you, and you could feel how nervous he was. 

"Have you done anything productive today? Or have you just left the work for my engineer?" 

You scoff, "The fact you don't know one of your best engineers' names is kinda pathetic," you cross your arms. 

"Oh sir that doesn't matter don't worry-"

"Hm, you're avoiding my question I see," Kylo's voice was deep, yet there was a hint of sarcasm it it. 

Just like how you avoided mine.

There was a brief moment of silence between the three of you. 

"Leave us," Kylo turned his head to Noah. "Go have your lunch break." 

Fuck.

Noah glanced down at you then back to Kylo. "Uh, sure, sir." He stuttered before he quickly brushed passed the both of you to head to the cafeteria. 

"Come with me," he growled. 

"No," you frowned. "What do you want?" Your heart was in your throat, but you didn't want to give Kylo the impression that you were nervous. 

"Don't make me drag you," his voice was menacing. "Come with me. Now." His gloved hands clenched at his side. 

"If this is about work I've been working all morning. We've checked over two of the-"

"This isn't about fucking work," he huffed before grasping your wrist in a tight grip. 

You swallowed as you trotted behind him to try and keep up with his long strides. "Kylo it's my lunch break," you whined. You were starving. 

"I don't care," he dragged you behind him, his robes fluttering behind him and brushing against your skin. 

Your heart was racing and your palms were starting to sweat. Where was he taking you? What did he want? You couldn't help but hesitate as he lead you through a door before shutting it behind him. 

It was dark. 

Really dark. 

The only source of light was coming from the small window which overlooked the snowy landscape of Star Killer and the control panel beneath it. 

"Kylo what is this?" Your voice was shaky as he paced in front of you like a wild animal. 

"Fuck," your name fell of his lips once more and your heart fluttered. "Princess, this morning-" 

You rolled your eyes and tried to head back outside, but you were pulled back by an invisible force and pinned to the wall. 

"Kylo let me go," you sighed. Nothing fazed you now. At least he wasn't choking you. 

"No, I want you to listen to me." He hissed as he unlatched his helmet and threw it to the ground, a loud clank following as it hit the tiles. 

His pale face was lit up by the small amount of light that was cracking through the window. Your breath caught in your throat as you gazed up at his beautiful face. You never got used to how handsome he was. His pleading eyes gazed into yours before he came closer to you.

You felt the familiar ache between your legs again and you tried to ignore it. After his quick exit this morning you wanted to know what the problem was. You wanted to know why he got so worked up over your question. 

"Spit it out," you croaked as you looked down at your boots. The sheer size of him still made you a nervous wreck. 

"This morning I didn't have an answer." He began, "And I still don't have an answer why I did it." His deep voice bounced off the metal walls. 

"Well why are we here then, Kylo?" You crossed your arms as the invisible pressure fizzled away. Your cheeks heated at the thought of him last night. 

"I don't have an answer," he breathed as he took another step towards you. He was inches away from you and his waist found yours. His bulge rubbed against you and you let out a whimper. "But this is what you're doing to me," he growled as his hands found your hips. 

Your breath was coming in quick pants as he held you against him, his eyes meeting yours once more. 

"Fuck you, Kylo," you hissed. "After that bullshit you pulled this morning-"

"Quiet, Princess." He breathed. "Otherwise I'll put that mouth to good use." 

You scoffed. "You wouldn't dare." 

"Hm," He leant down and presses his lips to your throat. "I would." His hot breath against your neck made you tremble. A soft moan left your throat as his lips assaulted your skin, nipping, sucking and licking your neck. 

"Kylo, no." You pressed your hands against his chest to push him away, but you found yourself leaning into him rather than pushing him away. "We can't." 

He pulls away, his lips slick with his own saliva from kissing and sucking on your neck, his pink lips still parted as he catches his breath. 

"I'll extend your lunch break-"

"No you fucking won't," you scoffed as you walked passed him towards the door. "Let me out," you cross your arms over your chest. 

He stood there for a second, gazing at you and you couldn't help but roll your eyes. "Now, Kylo." 

He sighed before bending down to grab his helmet off the floor, flicking his wrist to open the door. 

Before you could walk out he grabbed you by the wrist once more. "Wait," a small smirk was plastered on his face. His hand found the collar of your jumpsuit and he lifted it up. 

Your stomach dropped. "You fucking didn't," you hissed. 

"Oh, but I did, Princess." He gazed down at you once more before walking out of the door, leaving you standing in the darkness, absolutely dumbfounded. 

That mother fucker.

A/n: sorry this chapter isn't great 🥺 I promise it'll pick up a bit soon!! I'm hoping you guys are liking it so far xoxo


	10. Chapter 9

Kylo

"We are getting a fleet together to head to Canto Bight tomorrow,"

I have been sitting in this meeting for well over an hour and I haven't been paying much attention. All I know is that we're heading to Canto Bight to try and intercept The Resistance.

"Commander Ren?" Hux's annoying voice bounced off the walls of his office. 

"Yes, General. We need to intercept and not allow them to gain access to new weaponry. We know what Canto Bight is capable of producing, especially for us." I leant back in my chair to relieve some of the tension in my back. 

My mind kept wandering to Princess, how she felt last night when I made her cum around my fingers, how she dug her nails into me and wouldn't let go, how she pulled my hair and moaned my name.

Fuck.

"Sir, if I might add," Hux began as he smoothed out his uniform. "I think we should bring the girl." 

I felt my stomach drop. 

"Why?" 

She'll only try and get away, especially if she knows The Resistance are there. 

"We can use her to help draw out any Resistance. Then we kill them." Hux sat down in his chair. 

He has a point. 

"I'll think about it. We don't know if we can trust her yet. If I bring her I'll be bringing my Knights to watch her." I said before standing up. "Is this meeting over, General?" 

He hesitated for a moment. "Yes, but I don't think we'll be needing your Knights," he stuttered.

"Because you're scared of them?" I tilted my head, a smirk splayed on my lips underneath my helmet. I needed to get it off. 

"No, Commander. I just don't think it's necessary to drag them along." He tapped his fingers on his desk. "Besides, I doubt she'll stray far from you anyways." 

"She can be full of surprises," I mumbled. I needed her. 

This morning I was expecting her to bring up what happened the previous night, but I just hadn't worked out an answer for her. How could I tell her I was starting to feel a connection of some sort to her? I'm not sure if it was something to do with the Force, or much more, but if I ever mentioned that it'll show her I'm weak, and it'll only give her ammunition for firing bullets at me. 

I did it because I knew she wanted it. I could feel the pleasure and the longing radiating off her from behind the bathroom door. The soft moans that filled the bathroom made it pretty clear what she was doing, and why she was doing it. 

Every time I was around her I could feel her longing for me. And it gave me feelings that I never felt before. I was struggling to control myself when I fingered her. Watching myself in the mirror as I pleasured her had me rock hard, but I wasn't going to make her do anything she wasn't ready for. She was already flustered and embarrassed as it was, I wasn't going to ram my cock down her throat for the sake of it, although I really wanted to. 

"We'll be departing at 1200, dismissed."

"Yes, General." I said before stalking out of his office. 

It was nearly 1700, nearly time to turn in for the night. Princess would already be finished. 

I so desperately wanted to see her, but at the same time I didn't know if I could control myself around her. Today during her lunch break I just had to show her. Show her what she's doing to me. And she's so unaware. Her innocence was driving me insane. 

I find it so hard to believe she's never been with anyone before me. 

Hopefully I'll be her first. 

And her last.

I found myself rounding the corner of the hallway to the crews' sleeping quarters instead of my own. I guess I should tell her we'd be departing for Canto Bight tomorrow. That's all I'm going there for. 

I made my way down the hallway, passing various engineers and other flight crew that were turning in for the night. I stopped outside Princess' door. 

Hesitating for a moment, I figured I'd find the decency to knock. 

Moments later the door slid open with a small hiss. 

She stood before me in black shorts and a her black tank top, her hair up in a pony tail. 

Fuck me. 

Her eyes were wide she she gazed up at me, her tooth brush still in her mouth. 

"Princess," I tilted my head before stepping inside. 

She backed away before rushing to the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste. 

"What do you want?" She called from her small bathroom. 

I swallowed before unlatching my helmet and placing it on her bed. "We're departing for Canto Bight at 1200 tomorrow." I raked my fingers through my hair. It was damp from the sweat that had been accumulating on top of my head from my helmet. 

You'd think it'd have ventilators in it. But no. 

"And by 'we're' you mean me as well?" She stepped outside the bathroom and leant against the door frame. 

"Yes," 

"I've never been to Canto Bight." She walked towards her bed before sitting down, her back against the wall. 

"I'm only bringing you if I can trust you that you won't piss off on me. But I do need you there with us." 

She gazed up at me with those gorgeous eyes. "And be shot by Stormtroopers? No thanks. I'll behave." Her small hands found her sheets as she began playing with them between her fingers. A small hint of anxiety radiated off her.

I frowned. "You're nervous," 

She quickly looked back up before letting go of the sheets. "No I'm not," her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. "Why are we going to Canto Bight?" 

"You don't need to know," my eyes wandered over her soft thighs then back up to her face. She was so beautiful, so soft. 

"Well you can go without me then," she shrugged her shoulders, a small smile plastered on those soft pink lips. 

"You'll be coming with me, I don't trust you enough to leave you here on your own." 

"That's your problem. Tell me what we're going to Canto Bight for and I'll happily oblige." 

"Fine," I huff, "we just want some new weaponry off them." I lied. 

"Was that so hard, Commander?" She fluttered her lashes. 

Warmth started to pool inside my groin. 

"Be ready for me to collect you at 1130." I mumbled before bending down to retrieve my helmet from her bed. 

As I turn to leave her quarters she calls me back. "Today during my lunch-"

"No," 

"Will you fucking listen to me?" She huffed before rising to her feet. "I know you feel something," 

"No," 

"Oh," she laughed, "so you being hard against me isn't anything?" She walked towards me, the frown on her face nearly making me smile. She looked harmless. Cute, even. 

"No, Princess," 

"You said so yourself, I was-" 

"You talk too much," I pulled my helmet on. "You need rest. I want you to be ready when I come to get you." I said, the warmth in my belly slowly burning away. 

I wanted her so badly. But my ego was getting in the way. 

I needed to focus on other things. Not this girl. I have The First Order to lead. I have to destroy anyone and anything that stands in my way of ruling the Galaxy. I will not let this girl get in my way of doing that. I can't.

"Yes Commander," she looked up at me with those eyes once more. The look in her eyes and the little vibrations radiating off her was telling me she wanted me, again. 

I clenched my fist at my side before spinning on my heels to exit her quarters, my heart slamming against my rib cage and blood pooling between my legs. 

Fuck.

****

I hardly slept last night. All I could think about was her. As I drifted off to sleep, images of her flashed through my mind. But they weren't the only visions I had that night. I had visions of Han Solo, how I pierced his chest with my lightsaber, killing him to try and rid myself from any remaining connections to the Light. It broke me. It still eats me up inside. But I had to do it. 

But the visions of Princess last night, they're the one's that kept me up all night. Her soft skin, her pink lips, those gorgeous eyes of hers...

It was already 1100 as I gathered my clothes together, slowly pulling on my trousers and boots. 

Hopefully we can intercept The Resistance within a day or two and we're successful. We do not need The Resistance gaining anymore firepower. Especially since the Scavenger has now joined them. She's strong with the Force. Luke Skywalker is training her and I have had a few run ins with her before. 

Luke is doing well with her. But it doesn't hide the fact what he did to me. How he tried to kill me. 

He was scared of what I was becoming. 

And so he should be. 

I pull my shirt and tunic on before wrapping my cowl around my shoulders. 

I needed to destroy Luke Skywalker and the Scavenger. I needed them dead in order to destroy the Resistance. And they're making it very difficult to do so.

I pulled my helmet on and attached my lightsaber at my hip before making my way out of my quarters. It was still a bit early to go collect Princess, but surely she'd be ready by now. 

If not, then too bad.

Countless numbers of crew marched down the halls and acknowledged me as I passed them. The air was cool and quiet as they worked away. 

Eventually I found myself outside of Princess' room. I swallowed before knocking on the metal door. 

After a brief moment the door hissed open and I was faced with Princess, her hair wet and dripping down her shoulders. She was only in a towel. 

"You're early!" She hissed. 

"Sorry," I stepped inside and the door shut behind me. "Couldn't wait to see you," I tried to sound sarcastic. I did want to see her, but I wasn't expecting to see her like this. Again. 

"You said 1130 Kylo what the fuck?" She groaned before making her way over to her small cupboard where she kept her clothes.

"My apologies." I tilted my head as she bent down to pull out her underwear from the drawer. 

"Turn around," she huffed as she held her undergarments in her small hands, her cheeks bright red. 

A breath left me I didn't know I was holding before I turned my back to her. I heard the towel drop behind me and I felt her turn her back to me. I quietly glanced over my shoulder, taking in the beautiful sight. Her soft curves were laced with small stretch marks, along with a few large scars that covered her back. She was naked. Completely naked in front of me. She quickly hooked her bra into place before bending down to slip on her panties. Her whole ass and cunt in view. 

Oh fuck me.

I quickly turned my head away as she turned towards me to pull on her First Order overalls. 

"You can look now," she sighed as she began towel drying her hair. 

I bit my lip, trying to control my erratic heart rate. Good thing she can't see me under this helmet. "You need to hurry up so we can board the Finaliser." 

"What ever Kylo," she huffed as she pulled her comb through her hair, untangling the knots in her hair. 

"You're in a good mood today, Princess," 

"Fuck you," she mumbled before pulling her hair into a pony tail. 

"I wouldn't let you get the chance," 

I wonder what was pissing her off? Was it the fact I was early today? Or is there something else?

I gently tap into her mind so she was unaware, and visions of myself on top of her flooded my brain. She was holding onto me, moaning my name while I worked my fingers inside her. She wanted me to stay last night, she wanted me again. 

So needy. 

"What ever Kylo, lets go," 

"Uh, uh," I shook my head before stalking towards her. "Tell me what's wrong Princess," I prompted, already knowing why she was in a foul mood. 

"Nothing," 

"You're lying," I pinched her chin between my gloved fingers. "Tell me," I breathed as I peered down at her little face. 

"Nothing's wrong Kylo," she pulled away from me. 

"Oh Princess, don't you remember I can tell if you're lying or not?" 

She looked down at her feet before biting her lip. "Can we just go? Please?" She croaked, her cheeks were a shade of pink. 

I sighed. "Fine," 

I figured it'd be best to leave her alone, seeing as she's coming with us on the Finaliser. I don't particularly want her to lose her shit whilst on it. It'll be a major distraction. 

I escorted her out of her quarters and she followed closely behind. It was a rather peaceful walk to the hangar until she asked me if The Resistance was going to be there. I lied and told her I didn't know, but that it could be a possibility. 

I feel like she's starting to give into me, give into The First Order. But who's to say she won't try and escape to head back to The Resistance whenever she got the chance? 

We boarded the Finaliser and I showed her to the quarters she'd be staying in if we were to extend our stay at Canto Bight, but hopefully it wouldn't be necessary. 

"I suppose you want me to work while I'm here?" She crosses her arms before turning to look outside the small window overlooking the barren landscape of StarKiller. 

I shook my head. "Think of this trip as a getaway." I almost smiled. But her foul mood was putting me off. "Tell me what's wrong Princess, otherwise I'll take it from you." I sighed.

I just wanted her to admit it. 

Admit that she wants me.

But I know by now she's far too stubborn for that. 

"You know why Kylo," she frowned. "What happened the other day," 

"Hm, I don't think it's about that. Perhaps something last night?" I unlatch my helmet and it clicked off with a small hiss, before I took it off and placed it on the table inside her temporary quarters. 

She shook her head and peered down at her feet.

"Don't do this,"

"Do what Princess?" I breathed before pinching her chin to bring her head up to face me. 

"I know what you're doing," she croaked.

"And what would that be?" I stroke her chin with my thumb. 

"Fuck you Kylo," she growled. 

How cute. 

"Hm," I pulled my hand away. "Maybe I should try and fix that mouth of yours." I growled back. "Maybe then you might learn to respect me." 

"Yeah, maybe," she pulled away from me. 

Little does she know what I have in mind. 

****

"Sir we've arrived. We have opened the hangar for you to take your Command Shuttle." Hux says as he stands upright next to the control panels. 

"Get together available Stormtroopers and tell them to board the Command shuttle." I said. "I'll go collect the girl." 

She hasn't left her quarters. It's been a couple of hours up in Space, after a few run ins with the Resistance and some bouts of light speed, we eventually made it to Canto Bight. 

"You haven't told her about the plan have you?" Hux tilted his head, his orange hair catching the light of the LEDs. 

"No, not yet. I'll wait til we're down there." 

"Yes sir," 

I turn away from him and leave the cockpit of the Finaliser to make my way back to Princess' quarters. She might be in a better mood now, but I highly doubted it. 

We'll take the Command shuttle down to Canto Bight, and my Knights will accompany me to keep any eye on Princess incase things gets out of hand down there. I'm hoping she'll behave, I really don't want to deal with the Resistance and her. 

I arrive at her door and open it using the Force. She was laying on her stomach and kicking her legs in air whilst on her bed. 

"It's time to go," I said. 

She stopped kicking her legs and looked up at me. "We're there already?" 

"Yes," 

"Hm, so how are we getting down there then?"

"I know you're not that dumb Princess," I shook my head. "We'll be taking my Command shuttle, I'll be bringing my Knights along to keep an eye on you." I took a step towards her. "Behave and they won't have to hurt you." 

Her face became pale. "What do you mean, your Knights?" She pushes herself off her bed. 

"You'll see, don't be afraid of them. It'll only spur them on." I said before turning my back to her. "Now come," I mumbled before walking out of her quarters. I heard her little boots trail behind me. 

"Kylo who are these Knights?" She rugged on my cowl. "I told you I'll behave!" 

"I know Princess, but it's for your safety." I smirked underneath my helmet. I wonder how she'll act around them. Hopefully she decides to get her shit together and stop being such a brat. 

"I can take care of myself," she huffed. 

"I know Princess,"

We arrived at the hangar and my Command shuttle was up and running, the engines roaring and whining as it come to life. Hux was already on board the shuttle along with the Stormtroopers and my Knights.

We boarded the Command shuttle and the door shut behind us with a loud hiss. She stayed at my side like a well trained pet. She was to nervous to leave my side. 

So sweet. 

"Come, I'll take you to the cockpit." 

Her eyes seemed to light up. "Really?" 

"Yes, Princess." 

The walk was short to the cockpit, and her eyes wandered around the cockpit like a child's would in a candy store. I knew she'd want to see it, being a pilot and all. 

"This is amazing." She breathed. 

Hux was stationed at the control panels while the two pilots pulled their levers to raise the shuttle. 

She wandered over to the control panels on the side of the cockpit. 

"Don't touch anything," my voice was harsher than intended. "Sit down," 

A devilish smile plastered on her lips as she slowly reached out to the countless numbers of buttons on the control panel. 

"Don't," I warned. 

She was trying to get a rise out of me. And it was working. 

"Or what?" She tilted her head, her fingers brushing over the control panel. 

"You don't want to find out," 

She hesitated for a moment before pulling her hand away and sitting down like I asked. I sat next to her and leant back in my chair. "Take us down to Canto Bight and land us in an appropriate place." 

"Yes sir," 

After a brief moment we were outside of the Finaliser's hangar and flying down to Canto Bight.   
The city lights were soon visible after we quickly descended down through the atmosphere of Cantonica. A dozen TIE fighters followed closely behind. 

Princess gazed in awe as the lights grew closer and closer as we neared the landing sight. The golden lights glistened in her eyes like a thousand galaxies. 

She looked beautiful, and the smile on her face made it all the more pleasing to look at her. Thankfully she couldn't see me staring at her under my helmet.

After a few minutes, the pilots landed the Command shuttle and shut the engines off. Shortly after the doors opened and Stormtroopers began to march onto the beach to head up towards the city as the TIE fighters hovered around the beach. 

"Come with me," I grabbed Princess' wrist and gently pulled her along behind me. She had to trot behind me to keep up.

"So what kind of weapons are you needing?" She seemed to be in better spirits now as we walked up the limestone stairs up the side of the cliff.

There's no other place to land our ships unfortunately. 

"Just the usual," I lied. 

As we drew closer to the city, I could sense the Scavenger. The dull feeling made my body ache, and I could also sense many other fighters of the Resistance.

"This place is beautiful," she lifted her face to gaze at the air traffic and the lights that danced in between buildings. "Can we stay the night?" 

"Maybe," 

"Please? I've never been here before!" She whined. "I want to have a look around," 

"Fine, but after we finish what we've come here to do." 

Hopefully once the Resistance know we're here they'll make a quick exit without the weaponry. But it was never that easy. 

I sensed my Knights behind me, they knew what was going on as well. They knew the Scavenger was here. They wanted blood. Thankfully Princess was unaware of their presence behind us. 

They were never too far away. 

We had to make our way up to the casino, but doing so undetected would be difficult. If the Resistance were to be startled at least we have a dozen TIE fighters waiting for them at the beach.

The aching in my body grew with each step. She was close. The Scavenger. I clench my fists at my side. 

'Find the Scavenger,' I silently communicate to my Knights. 

'Yes sir,'

With that, the six of them stalked in the direction that the Scavenger's radiation was coming from. 

It was only a matter of minutes until the whine of X-Wings were above us. 

They already knew. 

The roars of the TIE fighters come to life as they ascended, before beginning to shoot at the countless numbers of X-Wings that screamed above us. 

Princess stiffened next to me, her body froze as she peered up at the Resistance, her side, flying above us, shooting at the TIE fighters.

"Don't you dare," I growled, I felt the electricity running through her. She wanted to run. But she didn't know where to. 

"Fuck you! You knew they'd be here!" She screamed. Tears bit at her eyes as she glared at me. 

"No, I didn't." I grabbed her wrist. "Now come with me, we have to get out-" 

She slapped my wrist away. "Don't fucking touch me," she hissed. 

"Where are you going to go?" I stepped towards her, cornering her into a wall. "You think they're going to land and save you? You'd be fucking insane if you thought that." 

Tears rolled down her cheeks, her lip trembled. "Let me go, Kylo, you've got everything you need out of me. Please." 

I shake my head. "But I haven't. Now come, we need to-"

'Kylo Ren,'

I froze. 

'Rey,'

Princess' eyes were wide as she peered at Rey behind me. I could sense her. She was standing, feet apart with that pathetic lightsaber pointed at me. 

"Oh my god, Rey!" Princess tried to wriggle out from underneath me but I held her there with the Force. 

"Let her go Kylo," Rey's voice was calm. 

I spun around to face her, before pulling my saber from my hip and igniting it. "I can't do that," I tilted my head. "She's valuable." 

"I'm not asking, I'm telling you," Rey said through bared teeth. 

"So am I," I take a few steps towards her. She hasn't moved from her stance. "Why the new weaponry?" 

"You think I'd tell you?" She scoffed. "Maybe you should ask your mother," she hissed. 

"Hm, maybe I should," I growled before swinging my saber towards her, the whir and the crackle emanating off the concrete and limestone walls. The purple glow lighting up the dark alley way from our sabers hitting one another. 

"Rey will kick your ass Kylo," Princess' voice rang out. 

"She's right," Rey growled before twisting her wrist and unlocking her saber from mine. She then quickly swung low, but I was quick to counteract her blow by blocking with my saber, the crackles and whines bouncing off the walls.

"Good to see Luke has been teaching you well," I scoffed before bringing the saber up and swinging at her side, she was quick to block me. 

"Fuck you, Kylo," she hissed before dodging behind me, her saber raised once again. 

"Hm," I spin around, raising my saber once more before quickly swinging at her again.

I spotted my Knights rounding the alley way, their weapons drawn. 

'Take the girl back to the ship, I'll kill the Scavenger,' I silently managed in between blows. 

'Yes sir' 

They marched towards Princess who was still pinned to the wall from the Force hold I had on her. 

"Cute, you have little minions to do your dirty work," Rey sarcastically smiled before baring her teeth and swinging at me once more. 

It was a back and forth duel between Rey and I, neither one of us could advance as we'd just counteract each other's blows. 

"I'm quite capable of doing it myself," I growled. 

Princess began to shriek as Vicrul and Ap'lek grabbed her. She was kicking and screaming like a child. 

'Sir,' 

I sighed before outstretching my hand towards Princess and closing my fist, rendering her unconscious. She would be unconscious for a few hours, or until I decide to wake her up. None of us can deal with her at the moment. 

Rey's face dropped as Princess collapsed into Vicrul's arms. "You fucking monster, keeping her prisoner," 

"And you're much better? Taking some of my men?" I stalked around her, trying to keep my eyes on Princess. 

"She's just a pilot," Rey growled before swinging once again, the plasma burning through my tunic

I wasn't paying attention, I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be back on StarKiller, not having to worry about this bullshit. 

"You bitch," I hissed at the minor burn I had received on my arm before swinging my saber around my head towards her throat, but she was quick to dodge it before leaping into the air and landing on top of one of the buildings. 

Blue light emitted from behind her and the Millennium Falcon soon rose next to her. 

Of course. 

"I'll fucking kill you," I pointed my saber at her as she boarded the ship. 

"I'd love to see you try," she smirked before the hatch shut behind her. 

I took a minute to compose myself before making my way back to the Command shuttle, closely following my Knights. 

Princess was limp in Vicrul's arms, her arm dangling beneath her. At least she'll be quiet for a few hours. 

We quickly boarded the Command shuttle and I order Vicrul to take Princess to her quarters to let her wake up on her own.

I stayed in the cockpit with Hux who was looking almost relieved. 

"The Resistance only managed to retrieve a small amount of weaponry from them. They retreated when they found out we were here, sir," He stood with his hands behind his back.

"Good," I growled. 

At least that was one less thing I had to worry about now. 

Rey's voice kept playing over and over in my mind as we began to ascend to leave Canto Bight.

"I'd like to see you try,"

Oh, Rey. 

We're only just getting started. 

A/N: sorry this chapter is all over the place, I struggled trying to piece it all together so that's why it's super long and dragged out. 

I hope you guys are liking it so far though and staying safe during these crazy COVID times ❤️


	11. Chapter 10

Warning this chapter will contain smut and some physical/emotional abuse.

You woke with a start. Your mind was fuzzy and slow. Your head pounded and your ears were ringing.

You sat up and realised you were back in your quarters. What happened? The last thing you remember was seeing Rey and Kylo circling one another, trying to advance with their sabers. 

Were The First Order successful in retrieving more weaponry? Why were the Resistance there? Why didn't they help me? 

It's been over a week and they still haven't tried to get me out of The First Order's grasp. 

It hurt, knowing that they haven't done anything. You knew Princess Leia wouldn't leave you, but it was starting to feel like the Resistance was neglecting you. 

Canto Bight was pretty, from what you can remember. The dazzling golden lights, the air traffic, the beach... 

Your heart sunk because you didn't get to stay the night there and experience the city life.

You stood up and steadied yourself as the room started to spin slightly. Your body ached, probably from Kylo's force hold on you he had on you before you blacked out. 

Speaking of Kylo, where was he? 

You pulled yourself together before slowly creeping outside your quarters. The hallway was littered with crew and the air was crisp. 

You hadn't noticed the large black mass standing on the outside of your door, off to the side. 

It was one of Kylo's Knights.

All of a sudden your heart started to pound against your ribcage. It was the Knight that grabbed you whilst on Canto Bight. Vicrul. 

He was menacing. Almost as tall as Kylo, but definitely not as broad. But he was still terrifying to look at, and being in his presence made you feel uneasy. 

"I got told to watch you." A deep voice leaked out from under the dark helmet. The black metal catching the light of the LEDs. 

"I don't need watching," your voice was strained. "Where is Kylo? Did Rey kill him?" 

"No, and he's still in the cockpit with General Hux." 

Well that was unfortunate. 

Wait. 

"Did he kill Rey?" 

"No," 

Oh thank god. "Right, well I'm going to go find-"

"I suggest you stay in your quarters, Commander Ren isn't in a good mood." 

You laugh. "Is he ever?" You tilted your head. Vicrul stayed quiet. "Anyways, like I said, I'm going to go find him." 

"Good luck then," was all he said before walking away from me. 

What was Kylo upset about now? Maybe because he couldn't kill Rey. You knew Rey would make it hard from him and you were relieved that she was still alive. 

You and Rey were friends, not exactly close, but you always had time for her and she always had time for you. You missed her, and seeing her at Canto Bight warmed and broke your heart all at the same time. You missed home, you missed your Resistance friends and family. The only family you had left was Princess Leia, you saw her as your mother after your parents were killed in the hangar by The First Order.

And now you were apart of them; The First Order. 

You quietly make your way down the long hallway and rounded the corner to head towards the cockpit of the Finaliser. 

The air seemed to grow colder as you stood at the entrance of the cockpit. You spot Kylo standing at the control panel, his feet splayed apart as he leans over the controls, his hands grasping the sides of the panels. 

Just staring at his stance you knew he was in a foul mood. 

'Leave,'

You spun around to find nobody there, but you soon realised it was Kylo, he was communicating to you without having to speak to you. 

You ignored his order and walked inside the cockpit. 

"Ah, the prisoner is awake," Hux's voice rang out. "So nice to have you back," he smiled, but you knew he was being sarcastic about it. 

"What happened?" You tilted your head. Kylo still hasn't turned around. 

"The Resistance were unsuccessful in retrieving any weaponry-"

Kylo stiffened.

"Wait," you shook your head. "What do you mean the Resistance were unsuccessful? What weaponry did they need?" 

"Hux," Kylo's voice was laced with poison. 

"Sir?" Hux turned to Kylo. He remained unmoving. 

"You lied to me," you looked at Kylo. "You told me The First Order needed weaponry." 

"Enough," he spun around. His helmet glistening underneath the LEDs. 

"I suppose you don't want me to tell your prisoner we took down six of their X-wings?" Hux smirked. 

"Oh you did, did you?" Your heart was in your throat and you felt like you were going to be sick. This was an attack, an intercept on the Resistance. On my friends. 

In a matter of moments, Hux was lifted off the ground, his hands clawing at his throat. 

Kylo had his gloved hand outstretched, his fingers splayed as he slowly choked Hux. "What part of enough do you both not understand?" He growled. Hux's pasty white face soon turned a crimson shade of red.

You almost felt bad for him, but all you could do was spur Kylo on in a fit of anger. "So you brought me along to just rub all this shit in my face then?" 

An animalistic growl left his throat, you've never heard him make that sound before, as he threw Hux across the room into the wall before he slumped to the floor. 

Kylo strides towards you before grabbing your wrist. "Come with me," 

You tried to pull your wrist away but he only dug his fingers into your arm and jerked you forward.

"Fuck you Kylo," you managed to rip your arm away from him. "You're a fucking asshole," 

"Keep going," his gloved finger was pointing at your face. "Keep going," he warned again before an invisible force was guiding you along next to him as he took you back to your quarters. He was silent during the short walk. 

Man, he really is in a feral mood. 

Your door hissed open after he violently pressed the code into the pad outside your quarters. He grabbed your wrist and flung you forward into the room, he followed you inside and shut the door behind him. 

"You don't scare me," you scoffed before turning away from him. Within a matter of seconds, his hand grasped the nape of your neck to spin you back to face him. His large fingers pressing down on the side of your neck. You couldn't help but whimper. "Let me go." 

"I'm going to fix that fucking mouth of yours." His deep voice leaked out of his helmet as he let you go and began pulling his leather gloves off. 

"Like fuck you are," you hissed back.

You felt the heat in your core start to bubble to the surface. You liked messing with him. Although he's made you feel betrayed, you wanted to make him angry. To piss him off. To toy with him. 

"On your knees." He ordered as he began to back you into the wall, his sheer size obscuring your vision. He towered over you and you forgot how intimidating it really was. 

"It's a shame Rey didn't kill you," you prodded. You felt him stiffen against you, pure rage radiating off him. 

Good.

"On your fucking knees," 

You felt your sex clench. You could feel the wetness between your legs. You wanted him so desperately. You wanted to feel his fingers against you, inside you. Fuck, you wanted all of him. Seeing him this angry really did something to you. 

"Hm, no. I don't like to please liars." 

With that his hand found your hair before ripping your head back, causing you to collapse to the ground with the pressure on your neck and back. He stood in front of you, feet splayed out. 

"Such a whore," his hand was cold against your cheek. "You're so needy," and with that, he brought his hand back before slapping it across your face. 

Hard. 

You cried out in pain as your cheek began to sting, and tears started to form in your eyes. You started to ache between your legs. "Look at you," you scoff, "hitting women," you swallow the bile rising in your throat, "you're so weak." 

Another slap, this time on the opposite cheek. "You don't get to talk," he murmured before pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Open your mouth," 

You shook your head. "Take your stupid mask off, then maybe I will," you were panting now, you were enjoying this, but you didn't want him to know. You could taste the metallic tinge of blood in your mouth. 

He smacked you once more, this time with the back of his hand, you couldn't help but cry out in pain again but you were quickly cut off as Kylo presses his thumb down onto your tongue, causing you to gag. You could barely see through the tears forming in your eyes, and your cheeks were still on fire. 

"How are you going to take my cock if you can't even handle my thumb?" He groaned. 

That sick fucker. 

You closed your eyes before clamping your teeth around his thumb. He was quick to dig his other fingers in the underside of your jaw to release your teeth from him. "Suck, whore." He growled. 

The chrome accents of his helmet were catching the dim light that illuminated over head. 

You felt your lip tremble before you gently started to suck on his thumb, swirling your tongue around his knuckle. Blood and saliva mixed in your mouth as you coated his thumb with it. 

A heavy groan left his chest and the aching between your legs began to grow stronger and stronger. 

He slowly pulled his thumb from your mouth, running his finger tip over your parted lips, smearing them with your own saliva and blood. "I can tell you want me," he rasped as his other hand found the zipper of his trousers. 

Your heart rattled your ribcage and your breath was coming in short gasps. 

"You'd be wrong, Commander." You managed in between pants. 

"That's why your cunt is soaking wet," He finally freed himself. 

He was a lot bigger than you were expecting. He was rock hard and throbbing, longing for your mouth, longing for you. 

You swallowed. You wondered what his face looked like underneath his helmet, you so desperately wanted to see him. But you knew he wouldn't take his helmet off. Not in the mood he's in. 

"Open your mouth," He growled as his hand found his cock, slowly stroking it back and forth, pre cum was already leaking from his tip.

You hesitated for a moment, peering up into the dark voids of his helmet. 

"I want to see you," You croaked. And you did. You wanted to see his face, you wondered how pink his cheeks were, what his eyes looked like. You wanted to see him so desperately. 

"Open, whore." He ordered. You swallowed before rising up onto your knees to be able to reach. He was so tall you had to work to get to him. Your shaky hands found his cock, he was hot, and so full, but he quickly slapped your hands away. "Don't touch me," He growled. "Open your fucking mouth," 

You whimpered before doing as you were told. Your heart pounded in your chest as he pushed his hips forward, sliding his cock inside your mouth. A low groan left his throat as one of his hands found the back of your head, the other pressed up against the wall to steady himself. Thankfully he was slow at first, but you knew it wouldn't stay that way and you tensed at the thought of him fucking your throat. 

As he hit the back of your throat you gagged, before reaching your hand up to press against his abdomen to try and push him back to catch your breath, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled it away. "I told you no touching." He growled before he pushed his hips further. Another gag and tears started to sting your eyes. The taste of blood, pre cum and saliva mixed inside your mouth as he began to pump into you.

You managed to get your breathing under control and relax into it, although it was still tricky trying to adjust as he inched deeper into your throat. 

"Fuck," he hissed, you could barely hear him through the helmet. "I told you I'd fix this fucking mouth of yours," 

You frowned before grazing your teeth down his pulsing cock. 

He growled before pulling out, grabbing a handful of hair and snapping your head back. "You're going to regret that, you filthy cunt," he hissed before bringing your head back up and thrusting forward, completely filling your throat. 

You gagged once more, your whole body starting to shake as he thrusted into your mouth relentlessly. You were quick to unzip your overalls, exposing your torso before slipping your hand into your panties to reach your aching sex. Your clit ached as you started to rub yourself in circles. 

"Look at you," Kylo managed in between grunts, "so needy, such a pathetic little whore," he filled your mouth once again, hitting the back of your throat. 

A moan left your throat and the vibrations against Kylo's pulsing cock made him shudder. 

You whimpered as you slowly felt your orgasm build up inside as you dipped a finger inside yourself, your fingers coated in your own juices. 

"That's it, moan on my cock again," he groaned, his fingers grasping the back of your head, entangling in your hair. "Moan for me, whore," he rasped. 

You bobbed your head against him, finding it easier to take him all in your mouth. The salty taste grew stronger as his thrusts started to slow and buck against you. He was close. And so were you. 

Your breath hitched in your throat and your legs started to shake as you neared your climax, but your hands were soon pinned behind your back by an invisible force. "You don't get to cum," he hissed.

A frustrated sob left your throat and Kylo only pushed his cock further down your throat, another gag escaped you and a tear rolled down your cheek. Your sex was clenching, wanting him, wanting attention. 

Kylo's fingers dig into your scalp before he pumped into your mouth once more, then pulling out of your mouth. "Keep your mouth open, slut," He growled as he relentlessly tugged at himself, before hot cum started to spurt from his cock, coating your chin, neck and lips. 

An animalistic growl left his throat as he rode out the rest of his orgasm, his cock pulsing in his large hand, veins protruding from the taught pink skin. 

Your lip trembled as you felt his cum run down your face, your jaw ached and your sex was screaming for him, for anything, but he still had your hands pinned behind your back.

He swiftly put himself away before doing up his trousers and bending down in front of you. His thumb found your chin, gathering his cum before slipping it back inside your mouth. 

"Swallow it," He ordered as he smeared his cum down onto your tongue. 

You hesitated before doing as you were told, the salty and sticky substance running down your throat. 

He swiftly stood up before taking a step back, admiring his work. "I think that's a much better use for that mouth," his raspy voice leaked from the helmet, you couldn't tell what those eyes were doing behind the black voids of his helmet. 

You were speechless, for once. Your whole body ached and you were exhausted, physically and mentally. 

You collapsed against the wall, your legs shaking from kneeling before him. You looked down at yourself, cum coated your chest and overalls. 

There was a brief moment of silence before Kylo's dark voice sounded through the static as he made his way out of your quarters. 

"Clean yourself up,"

A/N: I sincerely apologise for this chapter, but I hope you guys liked it 💀❤️


	12. Chapter 11

Warning: this chapter contains smut, proceed with caution.

It had been a week since you last saw Kylo. And you were glad. He had some work to do on Tatooine, you weren't sure what he was there for. 

You stayed on StarKiller, completing your usual duties. You finally felt like you were getting into routine on StarKiller. Every morning you'd wake up, have breakfast, find Noah and work with him and chat absolute nonsense for most of the day. You'd have your lunch break with Lexa, and hang out with her once your shift ended. 

It has been a pretty quiet week without Kylo being there. And you actually enjoyed it. You didn't feel suffocated every day, you felt free in a sense. Like you didn't have to walk on eggshells. You could just do your job and not have any distractions.

Although, you managed to still miss him.

Only a little.

After the incident last week where he just left you covered in his cum, you felt degraded. Like you were nothing but a release for him. And you hated it. You wished he could just lower his walls and let you in, show you the real him and not just some power hungry man in a mask. 

You wanted him to act towards you like he did when he fingered you, afterwards he was soft and caring towards you. But the last time you saw him he left you on the floor, not even bothering to help clean you up or even allow you to finish yourself. 

"Are you going to eat your dinner or just keep poking your food?" Lexa gazed at your across the metal table. 

"Uh, yeah," your cheeks heated as you brought the cold vegetable to your mouth. 

"What's on your mind?" She tilted her head, her dark hair cascading around her shoulders.

You stilled and felt your cheeks heat. There's no way you could tell anyone about what you and Kylo were up to behind closed doors, not even Lexa. 

"Oh nothing," you swallowed your food, "just tired," 

She pursed her lips. "You're lying," 

"I'm not!" You laugh, trying to get her off your back. "It's nothing I'm honestly just tired. Me and Noah went over six TIE fighters today." 

"Hm," She brought her fork to her mouth. "Right," she finished off her food before pushing her tray aside. "Did you want to hit the bar tonight? I have tomorrow off." 

You placed your cutlery down and stacked your tray on top of hers. "Sure. I need a drink." You sighed. 

You needed to try and get Kylo off your mind. Almost every night you found yourself masturbating to him. It was embarrassing, how much you wanted him. How much you longed for him. You didn't know when he was coming back, and you were starting to grow frustrated from not being able to see him. 

"Alright, well lets go." She stood up and smoothed out her uniform. "I think Noah is already in there with his boyfriend." She smiled. 

You stood up and rolled your shoulders back to relieve the soreness in your back and neck. 

"Actually, I'll meet you there, I might have a shower and get changed. I stink of engine oil," you pushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "I'll be quick." You smiled as you both made your way to the exit of the cafeteria. 

"Alright, don't keep me waiting," she winked as she walked in the opposite direction towards her quarters which was where majority of the nurses and other medical staff were situated. 

As you walked down the long hallways, you pull your hair out of the pony tail it had been in all day. You had a headache from it being so tight and neat to fit The First Order's expectations for presentation. You run your fingers through your hair, raking your fingers through your scalp to try and release some of the tension from your ridiculously tight pony tail. 

As you neared your quarters, a strange feeling started to creep through your veins. Blood thrummed passed your ears and you heart felt as if it slowed significantly. 

You hesitated before punching in the code for your quarters. The door hissed open and you stepped inside, the feeling in your chest growing stronger. You struggled to breathe. 

"Princess," 

Your legs nearly gave out beneath you as the dark, cool voice sounded from your bed. 

Kylo was sitting on your bed, his helmet on the small table beside him. He was in his usual black tunic, trousers and boots, and nothing else. No cowl or robes. 

Fuck. 

He rested his right elbow on his knee, his large gloved hand holding his head up. His head was tilted as his eyes travelled up and down your body, his fingers of his free hand tapping against his other knee. 

"Kylo," you shifted awkwardly and swallowed. "What are you doing here?" You croaked. You weren't expecting to find him in here. You weren't expecting him back for another couple of days. 

"I wanted to see you," he remained unmoving, apart from his dark eyes roaming your body. 

There was a brief moment of silence between the both of you. "Right," you glanced down at your boots. They were covered in engine oil from one of the TIE fighters you and Noah had to repair early that day. "Well, you've seen me, now I've gotta get ready to head to the bar with Lexa," 

"You're not working tomorrow?" His eyes found yours. 

"No," you slowly stalked to your dresser before pulling out a pair of trousers and a black tee shirt, along with clean underwear. "So if you don't mind, I'd like for you to leave so I can get ready please." 

Your heart was in your throat. This was the first time you'd seen him since he left you on the floor in a messy heap. You were almost embarrassed to be around him. 

"I've missed you," He was quick to rise to his feet to stand in front of you, his tall stature towering over you. 

Your felt your stomach backflip as your breath caught in your throat. But you didn't want to give in that easily. Not after he left you like a piece of meat in your cell. 

"So soft Commander, after that bullshit you pulled last week," you rolled you eyes as you stepped around him to head to the bathroom. 

"I'm serious," he didn't move from where you left him. 

"I don't care, I want you to leave." But you really wanted him to stay. You missed seeing those eyes, that scar, those pink lips. 

"That's funny, Princess," a small chuckle left his throat. "I don't think you do." He shifted his stance to lean against the dresser. "I know I don't want to leave." 

"Well that's your problem then." You huffed as you turned your back to him to head to the bathroom, but the familiar white noise started to ring in your ears as you were held in place. 

Fuck sake.

"No, Princess," you heard his boots clank against the tiles beneath you as he circled around you to stand in front of you. "I think it's your problem," He rasped as his gloved hands found the small of your neck, the leather cool against your skin. 

His scent filled your nostrils and you felt your core tighten. How can he still leave you wanting him after what he did to you last week? He used and abused you. He slapped and degraded you, made you bleed and suck his cock, relentlessly pumping into your mouth like a wild animal, trying to find his release. 

"Let me go, I'm gonna be late," you mumbled, the familiar buzzing of his force hold keeping you in place. 

"What a shame," his eyes found the zipper of your First Order overalls, a small smirk touching his lips. 

"Don't you dare-" his leather encased digit pressed against your lips to silence you as his free hand found the zipper of your overalls, before ever so slowly, pulling it down to your waist, exposing your torso, your breasts thankfully covered by your black bra. Your breathing became shallower and uneven as his leather fingers traced lightly from your collar bone down to the middle of your bra. 

"So beautiful," he breathed as he hooked his fingers over the bra, before tugging it down and exposing your breasts. Your cheeks heated and you tried to move but he held you still with his force hold. 

"Kylo, let me go," you whimpered, feeling your body start to heat up, wanting him. You realised how much you actually missed him, but you didn't want to admit it. 

His eyes found yours before he bent down, his lips found your collar bone, gently suckling on your delicate skin. You couldn't help but let a small moan slip from your lips. 

"Never," he rasped as his large found your breast. You shuddered against his touch as he planted soft open mouth kisses along your neck. You finally come to your senses and could smell a hint of whisky on his breath. You loved the smell of him and his whisky, the tang was irresistible.

"Kylo," You whined as his large hand palmed your breast, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. "Let me go I'm going to be late." 

He pulled away and looked down at your exposed breasts. You felt the Force hold fizzle away and you were suddenly able to move again. You were quick to pull up your zipper again to cover yourself. 

"Once you finish at the bar, I want you to come to my quarters," he murmured. 

You cross your arms, still feeling vulnerable. "Why? Why are you being like this after what happened last week?" 

He stilled for a moment. "You needed to be taught a lesson." His thumb brushed against your bottom lip. "And I think you've learnt it," 

You swallowed the saliva that accumulated in your mouth, remembering how he held you still while he fucked your mouth.

"I expect to see you after you finish at the bar, if not, then I'll come find you." He walked around you back towards the bed to retrieve his helmet. You couldn't help but stare as he pulled the helmet on and rolled his shoulders back, the muscles in his back twitching underneath his tunic. "Have fun, Princess," The usual static leaked through his helmet as he made his way out of your quarters. 

Your heart was rattling your ribcage it was beating so fast. 

Kylo missed you? 

You certainly weren't expecting him to say that. In fact, you weren't expecting to see him at all, let alone in your quarters. You were still dumbfounded by his interaction with you. Your cheeks heated at the though of him caressing your breasts, his cheeks slightly pink as he left kisses on your neck. 

Fuck.

You made your way to the bathroom to get ready to head to the bar. 

It's going to be a long night. 

****

"What can I get for you?" The bartender leant on the edge of the bar, her hair pulled up into a messy bun. 

"Just a beer, thanks," 

She was taken back by your response but proceeded to walk over to the fridges where the beer was kept. 

"I didn't take you for a beer drinker," Lexa laughed as she sipped on her vodka, lime and soda. 

You shrugged as you took a sip of your beer. "Yeah, never been into the other fancy drinks," you said placing your beer down on the coaster. The bar smelt of cigarette smoke and various types of alcohol. 

Noah laughed next to you, he was already hammered. "Never been into hard work either have you?" He mused. 

You frowned. "So you just worked on the six TIE fighters today on your own did you?" You spin on your stool to face him. His eyes were glazed over and blood shot, his long blonde hair was hanging over his eyes. 

"I might as well have," he took another sip of his whisky. 

"Fuck off," you laughed. "I had four engine oil changes, you just sat there and watched me do it," you lightly shoved his shoulder. 

"No, you are getting better, I'll admit that. Maybe because Commander Ren told you off the first time." He smirked. 

You quickly took another sip of your beer. His remark only made you feel nervous. Nervous about seeing Kylo tonight in his quarters. Anything could happen. And it almost scared you.

"You never told me what happened when he dragged you away on your lunch break," 

You swallowed. "He just tried to intimidate me, you know, what he does to everyone." You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to fight the uneasiness in your stomach.

What did Kylo want with you in his quarters? Your mind wandered over the endless possibilities, most of them being him using you as his release once again. You found yourself staring into the crowd of people that sat in the bar as your mind wandered over various scenarios in your head, most of them leading to your core tightening. 

"Fancy a game of pool?" Lexa finished off her drink and spun on her stool to leave the bar. 

"Sure," you quickly finished off your beer and followed her to the pool table in the centre of the bar. 

You looked back at Noah as he leant into his boyfriend to kiss him. A smile touched your lips as you turn to grab one of the pool cues whilst Lexa set the table up. 

"Don't suppose you have anyone?" You leant on the pool cue as she applied chalk to her own. 

"Nah," she shook her head and blew on the tip of the pool cue. "I get too busy with work and there's nobody really that's caught my eye." She leant over the pool table to break. 

"Fair enough," 

One of the balls fell into the pockey as she straightened herself for another shot. "What about you? You fancy anyone yet?" She had her shot and balls scattered in all different directions. 

You swallowed. "No. I guess I haven't been here long enough to find anyone," you lied through your teeth. But there was no way you were going to tell her about you and Kylo. Besides, what if it wasn't special? He might have another four other women he uses when he pleases. 

The thought of that being possibly true made your heart ache. 

You bent down to take your turn, sinking one of your balls into the pocket. 

"You still want to get out of here?" She twirled her pool cue in her hands. 

You hesitated for a moment. You did want to be back at home, back on the Tantive IV, back with Princess Leia and Jackson. But at the same time, you felt wanted here on StarKiller. Back home, you would just do your job and maybe hang out with Jackson or Princess Leia, but here, you seemed to be making more friends, friends who actually seemed to give a shit about you. It's been nearly two weeks since your accident and not one Resistance fighter has even attempted to come break you out of here. Not one. 

And then there was Kylo. Sure, he was quite demanding, intimidating and overbearing, but you knew and sensed deep down he had a sliver of compassion. He just chose not to show it. 

"I don't know," was all you said as you had your next shot, the balls clacking together as they bounced off the sides of the pool table. 

Your ears started to ring slightly and your temples began to throb. You weren't sure if it was from the alcohol or something else, but hearing Kylo's voice confirmed it wasn't the beer you had only minutes ago. 

'You're not going anywhere, Princess,'

You closed your eyes as Lexa had her turn.

'Get out of my head,'

'I'm waiting for you,' 

You opened your eyes again and watched as Lexa sunk another two balls. 

"Where the fuck did you learn to play like this?" You laughed. 

"When you've been here long enough, you find the time to keep yourself entertained." She smiled. 

"Right," you look back at the bar. "Did you want another drink?" 

"Sure," she nodded her head. 

You rested your pool cue against the side of the table before making your way over to the bar once again. The bartender greeted you as you asked for another beer and vodka lime and soda. As you waited you watched Noah as he smiled at his boyfriend, his eyes shut as he run his fingers through his hair. 

He had only been at the bar for two hours. He must've been guzzling his drinks down. 

You grabbed the two drinks and quickly made your way over to him. 

"I think you might need to go to bed Noah," You mused. 

He opened his eyes and looked up at you before pouting. "Nah, I'm fine," his cheeky smile brought a smile to yours as you glanced to his boyfriend. He wasn't amused. 

"Have fun with him," you laughed before making your way back over to the pool table. Lexa was playing with her small data pad, possibly messaging one of the other doctors about a patient. 

You handed her drink to her before taking a sip of your beer, the icy cold liquid pouring down your throat. You knew the night was coming to an end and that you'll have to face Kylo eventually, so the beer started to taste more and more bitter as you continued to drink it. 

You bent down once again and managed to sink another two balls into their pockets. You felt eyes on you as you did so. It made you uneasy and you quickly stood back up. 

'What's the matter, Princess?' 

'Stop watching me,' you sighed and leant against the table as Lexa had her turn. 

'I'm not,' 

You wondered how you and Kylo managed to communicate with each other, you figured he was just reading your mind or some crazy thing like that because of his force powers, or what ever you called them. 

'Well, someone is,' you shifted as the uneasiness grew stronger inside your belly. 

In a matter of seconds, you heard a commotion come from behind you. You spun around to see a rather large man choking, his face bright red as he clawed at his throat. 

'Kylo, stop,' you could feel the immense pressure inside the bar, 'how are you doing this if you're not here?'

There was no response, only the man's horrid noises as he suffocated. 

'Kylo, enough,' you almost growled out loud to yourself.

And with that, the man was able to breathe again. 

"What the fuck was that?" Lexa gasped as she rushed to stand beside you, trying to get a better look at what just happened. 

"I'm not sure," you lied. You realised that she had won the game of pool. 

"Wanna play again?" She took a swig of her drink, her eyes starting to become a little bloodshot.

"Nah," you took another sip of your beer. "I think I'll just finish this and head back to my quarters, I'm exhausted." You took another swig. 

"Suit yourself," she shrugged as she placed both of our pool cues back to where she got them from. 

You both made your way back over to the bar to talk nonsense and finish off your last drinks. Your head felt heavy and your eyes struggled to focus. It was only your second beer but you were so tired from today and barely ate anything, so the alcohol was starting to take a toll on you.

The bar was starting to grow quieter as the night rolled on, majority of the pilots had already left. 

You wished you could eventually pilot one of the TIE fighters, especially if you had to stay on StarKiller for the rest of your life. You hated working on them, and you'd much rather be out flying them. 

You finished off your beer before standing from your stool. 

"Alright, I'm gonna head off, thanks for tonight." You smiled at Lexa as she finished off her own drink. 

"Alright, goodnight. I won't be too far behind." She laughed. 

Noah was asleep at the bar and his boyfriend was poking and prodding him to wake up, but his efforts were useless. "Have fun trying to get him to bed," you laughed before walking out of the bar. 

The smell of cigarette smoke was laced through your clothes as well as the strong stench of alcohol. 

You swallowed nervously as you made your way down the hallways, passing your quarters. 

You'd hoped Kylo would be asleep or something and he didn't open the door for you, but you knew this wouldn't be the case. You knew he'd be waiting for you. 

The hallway where Kylo's quarters were was quiet, thankfully, as you silently walked up to the large sliding doors. The familiar pounding in your temples was back and before you could knock, the doors slid open with a loud hiss. 

You hesitated before stepping inside, making sure nobody saw you as you entered.

The room felt extremely heavy and you weren't sure why.

The door shut behind you and you heard a faint click as it locked. You took a shaky breath before proceeding to walk to the middle of his quarters. 

You couldn't see Kylo, but heard him in his bathroom. 

Your heart fluttered in your chest which made you feel a little sick. You were nervous. You decided to wander over to his bed and sit on the edge of it. Sweat started to accumulate on the palms of your hands so you quickly wiped them on your trousers. 

What did he want with you?

Moments later you heard his bathroom door slide open, and you felt yourself tense. 

"Princess," 

You struggled to find the courage to look at him. 

"How was your night?" His bare feet padded along the tiled floor. 

Eventually you swallowed your pride and lifted your head to find him standing beside you in just a towel, his pale body still wet from his shower he must've had just minutes ago. Water dripped from the ends of his hair that he had obviously quickly towel dried. His scar glistened in the light and you so desperately wanted to run your finger tip down it. 

"I-" you couldn't find your words and you felt your cheeks heat up at the sight of Kylo practically naked before you. 

"What's the matter, Princess? Normally you're pretty talkative." A smirk touched his lips as he adjusted his towel. 

"Uh, it was fine." You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. That suffocating feeling was back, but it wasn't from Kylo's Force hold, it was pure nervousness. What was he planning? 

"Hm," he took a step towards you, "something on your mind, Princess?" His thumb and forefinger found your chin to lift you head to look at him. 

"No," you shook your head. 

"Liar," 

"It's nothing Kylo," you started to nibble on your lower lip. "I just want to know why you wanted me to come here." You voice was strained as you tried to steady your breathing. 

There was a quiet moment between the both of you, his fingers still grasping your chin.

"I want to reward you," 

You frowned. "For what?" 

A small smile touched his lips as he bent down to your eye level. "I've heard you've been a good girl while I've been gone." His lips were only inches away from yours, and you so desperately wanted to lean up and press your lips against his, but you chose not to.

"Oh, who told you that?" You peered back up at his eyes. His golden brown irises were infatuating. 

"It doesn't matter," his hands found your waist and he swiftly pushed you back onto his mattress. "What does matter, though, is I'm gonna eat your pussy until your legs shake." His lips attacked your neck and you felt your core clench as he hovered over you. Water dripped onto your neck from his hair and you couldn't stop yourself from entangling your fingers in his dark locks.

"Fuck, Kylo," your breath caught in your throat as his hand found your breast, kneading at it through your shirt. 

"I know, Princess," he hummed, before his other hand found the button of your trousers. 

You heart was pounding and you felt yourself starting to grow hot and struggling to find your breath. In a matter of moments Kylo was at the foot of the bed, pulling your trousers down in one quick tug. Instinctively you found yourself closing your legs, trying to hid yourself, but your legs were soon spread open once again, the buzz of Kylo's Force hold familiar against your exposed skin. 

Kylo ever so slowly lowered himself over the top of you once again, pressing his lips against your jaw and throat, his tongue making its way to your collarbone. 

You couldn't move, but at the same time you knew you didn't want to. You wanted him, wanted to feel his tongue between your legs. 

He was taking his time as he slipped your shirt off and it was starting to drive you crazy. He threw your shirt to the side before reaching under you and unclipping your bra, shortly after, throwing that to the side too, leaving you completely bare apart from your underwear. 

"Kylo, hurry up," you whined, trying to push his head down your bare torso, but his teeth found your nipple, and he began to suck, hard.

His tongue flicked over your nipple before he pulled away to peer up at you. "So needy, Princess." He purred. 

"Stop teasing me," you rasped, arching your back to try and bring yourself up to him, but he only pinned you back down again with his force hold. 

"I would never," a smirk touched his pink lips as he slowly kissed down your belly before stopping at the elastic of your underwear. His hot breath sent goosebumps cascading over your skin, and you rolled your head back into the mattress as he planted a single kiss against the fabric covering your sex. 

A soft moan left your throat and you felt your sex clench. 

"Kylo," you weren't sure if it was a sob or a moan that left your throat. 

With that, you looked down to see Kylo gather the hem of your underwear in both his hands before he quickly pulled it apart, ripping your underwear off you. 

Your eyes widened. "Kylo! What the fuck?" You gazed up at him, a smirk was still on his lips as he threw the torn underwear to the side with the rest of your clothes. 

He moved away from you to stand at the end of the bed, gazing down at your completely naked body. you noticed his erection underneath the white towel.

"Let me look at you Princess," 

You wanted to try and cover yourself, but you couldn't because of his force hold. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment. You shut your eyes and laid your head back down on the bed. 

"You're already so wet for me," his eyes were burning holes between your legs. "Such a greedy slut," his voice lowered, he sounded almost primal. 

"Kylo, please," You writhed on the bed under the Force hold, trying to move, trying to touch yourself to relieve the ache between your legs. 

"I love a girl with manners," he hummed before he dropped to his knees between your legs. His breath was hot between your legs as his hair tickled the inside of your thighs. "But you're going to have to beg for it," he pressed a soft kiss on the inside of your thigh. 

A frustrated moan left your throat and your fingers gripped the bed sheets. "Please," you were panting now, waiting for him to devour you. "Please, Kylo. I need this." You moaned. 

"Hm," he hummed as one of his fingers began tracing around your opening. "Tell me how much you want it," 

You lifted your head off the bed to look down at him. The sight of his dark eyes between your legs was enough to make you clench again, begging to feel him against you. "Kylo, fuck, please. I want it, I want it so bad." You were starting to become a messy heap against him, begging for his touch, begging for him. 

"Oh, Princess," he groaned before his mouth found your sex. His tongue slowly lapped at the opening, before he flicked his tongue over your clit. 

A gasp left your throat as he lapped small circles around your clit, his eyes not leaving yours. 

Never in a million years you thought you'd be getting eaten out by the enemy, by Kylo Ren. The Supreme fucking Leader of The First Order. It was so wrong, but it felt so right. Like the two of you somehow had a connection. You had no idea what that connection was, but you could really find yourself spending the rest of your life with him, even if that meant not seeing Leia again-

He pressed his middle finger between your folds before curling his finger upwards. A strangled moan left your throat again and you threw your head back, clamping your eyes shut.

"No," Kylo's voice hummed against your clit, "I want you to watch me," His tongue flicked over your clit once again as he added another finger. 

"Fuck," you whimpered as you felt yourself clench around his fingers, you were getting close to exploding around him. You felt the buzz of the Force hold dissipate and you quickly brought yourself up on your elbow, your free hand reaching down to grasp his hair. Your mouth parted and your moans soon turned into quick breaths as he brought you closer to your orgasm. 

"Good girl," he pulled away for a brief moment. His chin and lips were slick with saliva and your own juices. "Who's pussy is this?" His eyes never leaving yours as he licked his lips. 

"W-What?" You breath was still uneven. 

"You heard me," He growled before pulling his fingers out of you and placing them in his mouth before sucking them clean.

"No don't stop," you whined. 

"Who's cunt is this?" You watched as he dropped his towel before grasping his cock. 

Your lip trembled. "Yours" 

"Tell me," his mouth was parted as his hand he just used to fuck you started to stroke his cock.

"Fuck, Kylo it's yours, please," you tried to bring your hand down to your sex but he was quick to grab your wrist and pin it to the bed. 

"What's mine?" 

Another frustrated moan. "My pussy is yours. It's yours Kylo."

"Good," He leant forward once again to press his tongue between your folds. "I want you to remember that." He grunted as he began to stroke himself at a quicker pace, his muscles in his shoulder and bicep flexing underneath his pale skin. 

The sight was almost too much and nearly sent you over the edge, but you found yourself collapsing against the mattress, writhing against the sheets as Kylo fucked you with his tongue. He let go of your wrist to hook his free arm underneath your thigh, his fingers digging into your soft flesh. 

Another groan left his throat which vibrated against your sensitive clit once again as he inserted his finger back inside you.

You felt the warmth pool in your belly and you sat up once more to peer down at him. "Fuck," you bit your lip, hard enough to draw blood. "Don't stop, please I'm going to cum. Please let me cum," another moan left your throat. 

You watched as a smile touched Kylo's wet lips as he pulled away. "I didn't even have to ask for you to beg," he groaned as he relentlessly tugged at himself. He quickly pressed his lips to your clit before sucking on it, hard. And it was enough to send you over the edge, clenching around his finger and pulling on his hair as you fell back onto the mattress. You breath was coming in sharp gasps as you gathered yourself together. You laid on the bed sprawled out, sweaty, naked and exhausted as Kylo rose to his feet, still stroking his cock. 

The sight of him, completely naked before you, his cheeks pink as well as his cock. It was begging for you. 

"Let me cum on you," he hissed through his teeth. 

You sucked in a breath before rising onto your knees in front of him. "No, I want to taste you instead," was all you managed before you moved his hand away and took him into your mouth. 

A growl left his throat as his hands found your hair, his fingers digging into your scalp as you bobbed your head against him. 

"Such a good girl Princess," he groaned, "I don't even have to ask anymore," he shuddered against you. 

You moaned against his cock, knowing he liked it. Another groan left his throat before he thrusted forward, filling your mouth with his hot cum.

You closed your eyes as he pulled out of your mouth, allowing you to swallow. 

"Fuck, Princess," he gasped for breath, as did you. 

You peered up at him, his mouth was parted and his hair hung in his eyes. His chin and lips were still coated in your cum. But you so desperately wanted to kiss him. You wanted to feel his lips against yours. You were ready to give yourself to him.

He took a moment before he made his way over to his dresser retrieve his usual black track pants. You couldn't help but stare at his back. It was littered in scars, and the dimples in the small of his back were prominent as he bent down to pull his pants on. Your cheeks heated at the sight of his bare ass. 

Fuck.

He turned to face you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"You're so beautiful," his eyes gazed over your naked body. 

A shy smile touched your lips as you sat back on the bed, bringing your knees to your chest. For some reason you were now feeling really exposed, even though the both of you just-

"Here," he pulled out one of his tee shirts from his dresser and handed it to you. "Wear this, Princess." He knelt on the side of the bed to sit beside you. 

You were quick to pull it over your head and found it sat just above your knees. 

"Thank you," your voice was hushed as you tried to hide your face from him, trying to hide how pink your cheeks were. 

"Hey," his hand found your jaw and he gently turned your head to face him. "You are beautiful," his cheeks were still a rosy pink. 

You swallowed. "Are you just saying that to keep me keen?" You joked, but at the same time, deep down you wondered if it was true. You wondered if there were other women.

"No," he shook his head, his hair hanging over his eyes. He was quick to move it out of the way. 

"Hm," you pulled away from him to lay back on his bed, your head hitting the soft pillows. "You're not so bad yourself, Commander." You gazed up at him.

"Hm, I hope you enjoyed your reward," he flopped down beside you. "And I'm hoping tomorrow you'll behave in our meeting." He shut his eyes and rested his arm behind his head. 

You frowned. "What meeting? I wasn't supposed to be working." You leant up on your elbow.

"Don't worry Princess, its for a good cause." He opened one eye to look up at you. 

"What do you mean? What's the meeting about?" Your heart started to race again. 

"It'll ruin the surprise." 

"Kylo," you warned, but he simply rolled over, his back facing you. "Tell me," 

"Get some rest Princess. You have a big day tomorrow."

You frowned before grabbing his shoulder. "I'm not going to be able to sleep if you don't tell me," you groaned. 

What meeting? What was it for? We're they promoting me from engineer to floor sweeper? Was that what it was? 

Your name fell from his lips as he sighed. "Get to sleep. I promise you'll enjoy it." 

You pouted. "Kylo-"

"Goodnight," it was more an order, telling you to shut up.

You frowned. 

Tomorrow is going to be interesting. 

A/N: hey guys sorry this one is pretty long (I wasn't actually planning on it being this long oops) and sorry this took a while, I had some final assessments due for uni but they're all sorted now. 

I hope you guys are enjoying it :) 

Stay safe everyone ❤️❤️


	13. Chapter 12

Warning this part contains smut 😌

Aboard the Tantive IV once again. Wearing your usual grey attire, your hair pulled back into a pony tail, your boots polished. It was your first day flying solo after your training. The roar of the X-Wings' scattered throughout the hanger sent a shiver up your spine. You were ready. 

"Please be careful," Leia warned in her usual motherly tone. 

"Always," a smile touched your lips. "I've had guidance from one of the best," You gesture to Jackson as he places his helmet on his head, pulling the visor down over his eyes. 

"Please, come back to me," she let out a shallow breath. "And if you see him, do everything you can to get away."

That's all you remember her saying.

Everything seemed to fall to pieces around you, engulfing you into a pit of darkness. Dark, mucky water splashed underneath your boots with each step you took, a step into an unknown direction. You were blind. Everything was dark, and there was no source of light. No way out.

You were stranded. Lost. 

"You're not going anywhere, Princess,"

His voice was like ice as it echoed around your entire being, suffocating you like his force hold he often used on you. 

A dark cloaked figure stepped towards you, the familiar helmet boring down at you. A red glow illuminated his tall stature as his saber crackled by his side.

For some reason, you were starting to believe him and succumb to the inevitable. Starting to feel the empty pit in your stomach, feeling like you were falling, losing yourself. Everything around you was no longer Light, only Dark. 

So Dark, you found yourself giving into it, relishing it. Owning it. Finding comfort in it. 

"My Empress."

Your body jolted awake, sweat pooling at the nape of your neck, sticking strands of hair to your hot skin. Your breath was coming in sharp gasps as you try to ground yourself, try to ignore the strange feelings arising within you. 

You looked beside you to find Kylo still asleep beside you, his mouth parted slightly as soft breaths left his chest. His scar glinted underneath the dull light and his hair fell in curtains around his eyes.

If your heart wasn't already beating out of your chest, it certainly would be now. Seeing the Supreme Leader so quiet and docile beside you as he slept. He looked almost innocent. But you knew he was far from those things. He was a monster, a murderer, and yet here you were, doing vile, unspeakable things to one another and sharing the same bed. 

It was still only early, it was 0800

Your dream felt so vivid, so real that it made you feel physically ill. Saliva pooled in your mouth and the tightening of your chest made you quickly, but ever so quietly, leap out of bed to head to the bathroom. You shut the door behind you and quickly turn the handle on in the shower to let out a steady stream of cold water. 

You were quick to pull Kylo's oversized tee shirt over your head, the cotton fabric sticking to your clammy skin. You stepped into the spray of cold water, allowing it to assault your naked body. 

The dream of you turning to the Dark side for comfort was enough to send your stomach contents out of your throat, luckily into the shower's drain, a sharp gag and a cough following. Most of it was the alcohol from last night. You hadn't drunk nearly enough as you normally would, but you couldn't help but feel nauseated from the dream you just woke from. You quickly rinsed your mouth out with the water that sprayed from the shower head.

Its just a dream. 

You kept repeating it over and over in your head. You sunk to the shower floor, pulling your knees to your chest, the cold tiles stinging your clammy skin. You were starting to shiver and your fingertips soon started to turn blue. But the cold water was the only thing keeping you grounded. 

You feared if you laid in that bed next to the Commander any longer, you would go crazy, lose your mind. Scream, even.

That dream felt too real. Being consumed by the Dark side was never on your mind. Never. You had always respected the Light. Always respected Rey, Leia and Luke. You were devoted to The Resistance. That was your role. Your family were good, you were good. You had no bad influences in your life. You were happy. 

Until you met Kylo Ren. 

Now, everything was a mess, and possibly even reversed. You found yourself slowly starting to resent The Resistance, you weren't sure if it was because they hadn't come to save you, save you from him. You felt as if you belonged here on StarKiller, rather than on the Tantive IV, rather than with Princess Leia. 

A shaky breath left your throat as tears started to form behind your lashes. 

Why are you feeling this? What is this conflict? You were confused, and scared about what might be becoming of you. 

"Princess," 

You hadn't noticed Kylo had entered the bathroom. He quickly hopped into the shower with you, squatting down in front of you and turning off the water. The spray managed to wet his hair and the legs of his pants. 

Your teeth gnawed at your bottom lip as you continued to shake, from the cold water as well as fear. 

"Princess," his warm hand found the side of your face, it almost burnt. "You're freezing," his dark eyes darted across your face. He almost looked worried. 

In a matter of moments he shifted beside you and wrapped his arm under your legs, his other arm behind your back to lift you up. You rested your head against his chest, his heart was hammering against your ear. 

"You're worried?" You croaked, peering up at him as he grabs one of his towels. 

He brought you back out to the bed before placing your naked, wet body onto the bed, wrapping the towel around you tightly. It was almost as if he swaddled and infant. You couldn't move. 

"What were you doing in there?" He squatted in front of you to peer up at your face. His brows were knit together. 

"I was showering," you mumbled. 

A pretty convincing answer. 

"What's wrong? What's on your mind?" 

Obviously not. 

"Just a bad dream, that's all," you managed to wriggle your arms out from the towel. "I'm fine," you shrugged, knowing very well you were not fucking fine. 

"What happened?" His warm hand found your knee and he gently squeezed. "Tell me, Princess," 

Kylo being this soft and gentle made you want to cry. He was a monster, yes, but somewhere underneath the layers of robes and that fucking helmet was a man, so lost, so alone.

You wanted to touch that scarred face of his. Gently caress those cheeks and press your lips onto his. 

But still, you couldn't bring yourself to do it. 

You knew deep down that he wouldn't want it. You were just his casual play thing to use as he pleases. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"Nothing in particular," you glanced down at your hands, you had been digging your nails into your palm, drawing blood. "I was just," You thought for a moment. "Lost,"

He let out a lingering breath, taking your hands in his. His eyes widened when he noticed the bloody marks left on your palms. He gazed at them for a moment before looking back up at you. 

"I get those too," his voice was still husky from only waking up minutes ago. 

You nodded, the knot in your stomach slowly starting to unravel. Kylo holding you was enough to make you feel a little better. 

You cleared your throat. "When is the meeting?" You breath was still shaky. 

"1300," he cocked his head, "but if you're not up to it I can-"

"No," you shook your head, "I'm fine," you swallowed. "I just, don't have my uniform with me, or any spare underwear." Your cheeks blushed at the thought of him last night, ripping your underwear, quite literally, off of you. 

"I'll make arrangements for them to be brought here," he rose to his feet before striding over to the bathroom once again. 

You heard the water running for a brief moment, before he returned by your side with a wet cloth in hand. He took your hands, gently pressing the cloth over the small cuts in your palms you inflicted on yourself. 

Your heart thrummed against your chest and you couldn't help but stare at the side of his face. His brows were knit together as he concentrated on cleaning your wounds, his lips pursed. 

You decided to lean into him, your head resting on his broad shoulder. You felt him tense underneath you and you expected him to move away, instead, you felt him turn his head, his lips pressed against your hairline at the top of your forehead. 

You were sure your heart had just stopped beating, butterflies bouncing off the side of your stomach. You could've sat like this all day with him. 

He pulled the cloth away from your hands. Blood spotted over the white fabric. 

"I'm sorry," you chewed on your lip. 

He stood up once again, your head falling from the warmth of his shoulder. "What for?" His dark eyes bored down at you. Confused, he cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. His cheeks were a rosy pink colour. 

"I got your cloth all dirty," you frowned. You started feeling better. The haunting voices and darkness of your dream was starting to fade to the back of your mind, but it still bit at your insides, gnawing at you like a disgusting rodent.

"Good thing I don't do the laundry, then," a soft smile touched his lips as he threw the cloth back into the sink. "Are you hungry?" He reached for his datapad beside the bed before stretching out beside you. 

You shook your head. "No, not really," you were worried if you ate anything it would just come straight back up. 

"You need to eat, Princess," he frowned as he typed away at his datapad, the glow of the screen illuminating the scar on his chiselled face. That fucking scar. 

"I'm not hungry, but thank you." Your voice was soft. You still hadn't moved from where he left you. You were still sitting in the towel, still shaking and wet. You had only spun to face him as he laid next to you, his thigh pressing against you. 

"Some fruit perhaps?" He tilted his head, before looking up at you, his black eyes were glowing from the light on the datapad. 

You felt your breath hitch in your throat. You wanted to do it. You wanted to kiss him. His lips were right there. So soft, so tender. 

You felt yourself draw closer to him, your hands pressed into the mattress, a small sting lingering from the multiple cuts in your palms. His eyes found yours, and for a moment, you considered turning away. Hell, you wanted to fucking run. 

But you couldn't, because Kylo had sat up, throwing the datapad to the side of the bed, his large hand finding the nape of your neck. Goosebumps littered your skin, his touch was warm, sincere. It wasn't the usual touch you were used to. This was far more intimate. 

Your heart was lodged into your throat, you struggled to breathe as his eyes glanced down at your parted lips. 

In a matter of moments, he brought your lips to his, warmth filled your body, as his tender lips worked at yours. You found yourself moulding into him, letting him take control. You kissed him back, your eyes fluttering shut and a soft moan leaving your throat. You found yourself reaching up to his face, your fingertips grazing the raised flesh of his scar and you cupped his face, his jaw was tight against your touch. 

Your fingers of your other hand found his dark locks, entwining his hair between your fingers, before gently pulling at it. 

A low groan vibrated from his chest before his free hand gripped your waist, flipping you over so that he was on top of you. His body was hot and heavy against yours, as the towel had become undone, leaving you exposed to him once again. But he wasn't interested in that, he was only focussed on your mouth. His tongue grazed your bottom lip, begging for you to let him in. 

You did, happily. 

As his tongue pressed against yours, another moan left your throat, only to be swallowed again by Kylo's feverish mouth. 

It had been everything you were hoping for. Gentle, yet primal. You had a feeling he'd dominate you, and you weren't complaining. But the passion was irresistible. The slow open mouth kisses were what you were craving. And you couldn't help but smile as he pulled away, ever so slowly. Saliva coated his lips, and they were bright pink and swollen.

The both of you panted against one another, trying to catch your breaths. You licked your lips, savouring his taste. Your hands were still holding his face, and you grazed your thumb down his scar once again, the rigidity of it sending shocks up your forearm. He shut his eyes and leant his head in the opposite direction, trying to avoid your touch. 

And it was enough to make your heart ache. 

"You're so beautiful," you managed to find your words. It was what Kylo told you last night, and now it was your turn to tell him. He was obviously insecure about his scar. And you hated it. You loved his scar, and it hurt knowing that he hated it. 

His eyes opened again, you managed to see his pupils dilate against his dark irises. 

"I need you," His voice was warm, as he pressed another kiss against your lips. "I need you," he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, before laying down on top of you, his legs entwined with yours. He reached out and pulled the side of the towel back up over your body to cover you. His breath was hot and shaky against your neck as you wrapped your arm around the back of his neck, your fingers still entangled in his hair. 

He draped his arm over your abdomen, his hand resting up against your ribs, and the both of you laid there for what seemed like hours, holding one another. Not one of you spoke another word. You glanced over at the clock once again, it read 0900.

With that, you held Kylo close, before shutting your eyes, hoping that what ever dream that came to you was nothing like what you had before. 

A soft hum came from Kylo, and you realised he had fallen back to sleep, draped over the top of you, his head nuzzled deep into your neck. 

A smile touched your lips, and slowly, sleep come to you once again. 

++++

"Are you ready?" 

You pulled your hair up into a pony tail, checking yourself in the bathroom mirror one last time before walking towards Kylo who was waiting at the door. 

"Yes, Commander." You blinked up to look at his helmet. For some reason once that helmet was on his shoulders, he felt like a completely different person. And it wasn't one that you were particularly fond of.

He stared down at you for a moment, before pressing his code into the pad, opening the door. 

You followed silently behind him, his boots clanking against the cold metal floors. 

"Make sure you behave," he didn't turn his head as he spoke and continued leading you to Hux's office. 

"Ok," your voice was soft. 

Since the both of you had woken up, neither of you spoke about the kiss.

That kiss.

Your heart fluttered every time you thought about it, how he held you close and smothered your mouth with his in slow, primal kisses. The way he cradled your face and grasped the back of your neck was a feeling you'd never get used to. 

But Kylo's soft pleas made your heart break. 

I need you. 

Was he just saying that? Or was he serious? What did he need you for? For the First Order? Or for himself? You were ready to give all of yourself to him, even though it may be dangerous, you couldn't hide the fact that your feelings for him were growing stronger each day. 

And there was something else. Something powerful inside you that continued to buzz throughout your body. You couldn't quite put your finger on it. Perhaps it was just confidence. 

"Now," he turned to you. You hadn't realised you were standing out the front of Hux's office. "No smartass remarks" the static leaked out of his helmet. "You only get one shot at this. Do you understand?" 

You swallowed the lump in your throat before giving him a quick nod. 

He pushed open the door using nothing but the force. The door swung open revealing Hux and two other men you hadn't seen before. 

"Ah, the prisoner," Hux beamed. "So nice to see you again," he jerked his head to the two vacant chairs that were situated before his desk. "Have a seat," 

Kylo was quick to sit down, before you heard the familiar click and hiss has he removed his helmet. He glanced at you for a quick moment. "Sit," his voice was stern.

You hadn't realised you were still standing behind the chair like a star struck idiot. Your cheeks heated and you quickly sat down, crossing your legs. 

"I've heard you've been rather well behaved this week?" Hux clasped his hands together on his desk. You couldn't get over how pasty his skin was.

Swallowing, you nodded. "I guess you could say that," you held your hands in your lap, brushing your thumb over your knuckles. 

"Very good," he smiled, but it seemed fake. "There might be hope for her yet, Ren," he turned to Kylo, an eyebrow raised. "Have you told her why I've brought her here?"

"No," 

You glanced back over at Kylo. Something has changed in him. Since the both of you had woken up, he has been very quiet. He barely even acknowledged you while the both of you got ready. 

"Hm," Hux scratched his chin. "Well," he turned to you, his eyes gazing over your body. You shifted slightly. "We're in need of a new pilot. During Ren's little escapade on Tatooine, we lost five of our pilots." 

You heart lurched into your throat. Your chest seemed to flutter as you tried to process his words. 

"You need me as a pilot?" 

You wanted to make sure it was real. 

"Yes," he nodded his head. "We would only have you on minor jobs, such as defence-"

"Ok," you nodded your head, eagerly. "Ok I'll do it. When do I start?"

A laugh left Hux's throat. "Well you'll need to be taught how to fly a TIE fighter, they are much more sophisticated than the other garbage you used to fly." 

You had to admit, that comment hurt a little bit. 

"I'll find you a pilot to work with and train under-"

"I'll teach her," Kylo's voice cut through your conversation like a cleaver. You peered over at him, he sat in the chair, his arms draped on the arms of the chair, his back leant up against the back of the chair, his right leg crossed over his other. His right hand reached up to his face, his fingers pressed against his bottom lip. 

He was the definition of sheer, raw power. 

And you found it fucking delectable.

Hux stalled for a moment, gazing between the two of you. "Careful Ren, that your personal interest not interfere in my work." There was a hint of severity in his tone. 

"I would simply teach her how to fly a TIE fighter." His voice was sharp. "I'd like to see you try and find a better pilot to show her the ropes." He shot a quick glance towards you, a strand of hair falling into his eyes. He quickly pushed it back, running his hand through his hair. 

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, turning away from him. 

"How do I know you won't fuck this up, Ren?" Hux stood from behind his desk. "You have a habit of ruining-"

"I'll start her training tomorrow." Kylo stood from his chair. 

You started to grow bored of their bickering, but you felt it was polite to sit and wait for anymore orders from Hux. Kylo pulled his helmet onto his shoulders, his gorgeous face covered by the dark and monstrous helmet once again. "Come," he turned to you. 

You hesitated before standing to meet him. 

"Um," you turned to Hux, "thank you, General, I appreciate this and I won't let you down." The words felt foreign as they left your mouth. Agreeing and thanking General Hux, part of the First Order, for allowing you to become one of their pilots. But you were serious when you told him you wouldn't let him down. 

"Good," he smiled once again. "Because, if you fuck up, or try and turn against us, try and take off back to the Resistance, I'll have you terminated immediately." 

You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. "Yes, General." 

"I trust Kylo will teach you well. Dismissed." He fiddled with some of the paper on his desk, sorting them into a neat pile. 

Kylo went to open the door, but Hux called him back once more. "Supreme Leader Snoke wishes to speak to you." 

Snoke. Who was that? 

You felt Kylo tense beside you, his hands clenching at his sides. A low hum of some unknown emotion radiated off him. A mixture of anger and sadness. 

"General," Kylo muttered before stalking out of his office, you quickly trotted out behind him. 

The doors shut behind you with a loud thud. 

Who was Supreme Leader Snoke? It sounded familiar, but you couldn't pick it. And why was Kylo so upset about seeing him? You couldn't pick what Kylo was feeling, but you knew it wasn't anything good. It was far from it. It was almost dread. 

"Ky- I mean, Commander?" You paced to keep up with his long, urgent strides. 

"What?" 

You frowned. "Who's Supreme Leader Snoke?" 

"My Master," he sounded almost disgusted to say it. 

You swallowed. "Uh, where are we going?" You tilted your head as you aimlessly followed behind him. 

"Back to my quarters. You can stay there while I go to see Snoke," he briefly looked down at you, the chrome accents glinting underneath the LEDs. You wanted to know what his face looked like underneath. The dread radiating off him was starting to make you ache. 

Why can you feel all of this? 

You arrived back to his quarters. The bed was still unmade from how the both of you left it. Clothes were still scattered on the floor from the previous night. 

You frowned. "Am I just going to stay here now?" You cocked an eyebrow as Kylo stood in the doorway, his dark voids of his helmet boring into you. 

"You can leave if you want to,"

That was a lot more blunt than what you're used to, especially coming from him. 

Your frowned. "Kylo," you crossed your arms. "Is something wrong?" You felt your heart start to race in anticipation, wondering what he might say, what he might be pissed off about. 

"No," 

Perhaps if Princess was on the end of his answer, it would've made you feel a bit better. 

"Oh. Ok then." You frowned as you plonked down onto the edge of the bed. "You can talk to me, you know?" 

"Hm," 

You sighed, your words singeing the tip of your tongue before you spat them out. "Was it the kiss? You're not happy about that or something?" You felt the pit of your stomach open up, leaving you feeling empty, vulnerable. And the tears pricking at your eyes weren't helping. 

"No," he took a few strides towards you, before his leather glove found your chin. "Everything's fine, Princess." His thumb brushed over your bottom lip. "I'm going to see Snoke," the static in his voice was enough to make your skin crawl. "And when I get back," he tilted your chin up to meet his helmet's dark voids. "I expect to see you and your tight little cunt waiting for me," His thumb pressed between your teeth, the warm leather pressing onto your tongue. "Like a good girl." 

Warmth pooled between your legs as he slowly pulled his thumb back out, smearing your saliva on your bottom lip. Kylo's body still hummed with something that made you physically ache.

You swallowed. "Yes, Commander." 

"That's it," he pulled away from you, before turning to head back towards the door. "I'll see you in an hour, Princess." He said before exiting his quarters. The doors hissed shut leaving you all alone in Kylo's ridiculously large quarters. 

You took the time to really drink in the details of his quarters. 

The walls were all black; of course. Matte red accents were etched throughout the vast amount of black, which illuminated the room slightly. Everything was open, no walls sectioned off any rooms apart from the bathroom, and the small kitchen was sectioned off by dark marble benches. 

The living room, if you could call it that, contained a large black leather sofa and a dark oak table situated in front of it.

The black glossy tiled floors reflected in the dim light that filled the room. They were so clean and polished you could see your reflection in them. 

His bedroom; that was probably the best part of his quarters. A small step lead from the living room to the bedroom, if you could call it that, seeing as it was all open. Tiles covered the floor, and a deep red rug was situated at the end of his bed. The large king size bed was covered in deep red and black sheets, the leather bed frame and headboard encasing the soft mattress. There were a few compartments on top of the headboard and towards the end of the bed frame that you didn't know how to open. You occasionally wondered what was inside them. Nothing special, probably. 

You spent most of your time alone laying in his bed, breathing in his scent. His musk along with the hint of leather and his aftershave was enough to send goosebumps rushing over your skin. 

You still wondered what was causing his strange mood. He was so caring this morning and ever since the both of you had woken up to head to the meeting, he seemed as if he didn't care that you were even in his presence. And admittedly, it did hurt. But you weren't surprised either. It is Kylo Ren. Supreme leader of the First Order. 

Time passed as you scrolled through different apps on his data pad, playing different games for five minutes before growing bored. 

The thought of becoming a pilot for the First Order scared you, only because you knew you'd be facing the Resistance. Seeing Jackson would kill you, and knowing that the First Order expects you to destroy any Resistance fighters made you feel nauseous. You were going to have to kill your friends, your colleagues. 

Why haven't the Resistance done anything to try and help you? 

What was Leia doing? 

What was Rey doing? 

Heat started to rush your face as anger started to seep out of your skin. You gave everything you had to the Resistance, you grew up under their guidance, and when your parents were killed, Leia took you in as one of her own, along with Rey.

You made your way to the living room, noticing Kylo's lightsaber was lying on the sofa. You frowned. Surely he didn't just forget his lightsaber? Does he know it's here? Doesn't he need it? Swallowing, you reached down to grasp the heavy metal hilt of the saber. You studied the hilt, noticing how unfinished it looked. A red wire was clamped down on the outside of the hilt and many more wires were exposed at the top of it. 

You rotated the hilt in your hand, trying to figure out how it worked. You found a small button at the top of the hilt. 

You knew you shouldn't mess with it. But your curiosity got the better of you and your thumb pressed down onto the button, and the lightsaber crackled to life. 

You jumped as the familiar whine and crackle of the weapon filled the silent room, the hot, red glow illuminating your face. Sparks of plasma licked at the air as the hilt of the lightsaber vibrated in your hand. 

He'd kill you if he knew. Luckily he wasn't here.

You stepped out of the living room to an open space, before rotating the saber, your elbow flexing as you spun the weapon, the low whir bringing a small smile to your face. 

These lightsabers were pretty cool. 

After messing around with Kylo's saber for another minute, you pressed the button once again to turn it off, before placing it back down onto the sofa. 

He won't know. He'd be too busy with that Supreme Leader Snoke to check in on you, you hoped. 

A door in the corner of the room caught your eye. The black door blended in with the walls so you didn't see it the first time. 

Your brows knitted together as you shuffled towards it. It was a normal wooden door, much like one of a cabinet. You reached down to the door handle, before twisting it and pulling the door open. It caught for a moment, but with a swift tug it opened. You tilted your head before stepping inside. 

The room was extremely dark. You had to let your eyes adjust as you peered around into darkness. The only source of light was a dim ceiling light that illuminated an object on top of a bench. 

Kylo is going to kill you.

You took your lip between your teeth before walking over towards the object.

It was a large dark mass, the matte concrete-looking material catching the light. As your eyes adjusted, your eyes widened as you soon realised it was the helmet of Darth Vader. 

Why does he have his helmet? 

What the actual fuck? 

Your heart was in your throat as you peered down at the mangled helmet. The front of the helmet was caved in, and pieces were missing or cracked. 

Your hand shook as you reached out, pressing your hand to the side of the helmet. 

And you regretted it. 

Vivid visions of death and destruction flashed through your mind. Screams and cries for help rang in your ears. Visions of dark, empty landscapes flashed behind your eyes. The memories of your parents being killed in the hangar of the Tantive IV burnt into your mind, the smell of smoke as TIE fighters shot into the hanger, blowing up countless X-Wings and sending crew people catapulting through the air, sucking them out into space, including your parents. The screams of the TIE fighters and crew people cut into you. 

And then it was him. 

Kylo's face appeared, as he sat in his TIE silencer and shot into the hanger. 

It was him.

He was the reason your parents were dead. He was the reason you were now an orphan. He showed no mercy as he shot into the hanger, murdering innocent people and children. His face was stone cold, emotionless. 

And that wasn't the worst of it. 

Visions of you turning to the dark side filled your brain once again. Everyone around you was dead. Leia, Rey, Luke, Jackson. Everyone you loved was dead. The Resistance was dead. Planets were obliterated before you as you stood in the cockpit of the Finalizer, populations of civilians becoming extinct. 

And beside you, stood Kylo. He was unmasked, and his face illuminated red as StarKiller continued to destroy inhabited planets, killing every living life form on it. 

You drowned in darkness, it engulfed you, held you down and rendered you immobile. You were part of it. You had always fought for the Resistance, and now you were turning against them, and joining the First Order. And the Dark side was at your heels. No matter how hard you tried to fight it, it had its claws buried into your skin, and you were unable to get out of its deathly grasp. 

But there was something else. You could hear the desperate cries for Ben, but everything was still dark. You didn't know who this Ben was, but you could recognise Leia's soft voice as she repeated the name over and over, and over. 

You pulled away and gasped for air, you felt dizzy as you backed away from Darth Vader's helmet, only to bump into something solid behind you. 

And your heart sunk to your stomach. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" 

You spun, tears running down your face. You hadn't realised how fucked up you were from what just happened. Your mouth was parted as you tried to speak but nothing came out. Your breath was coming in quick shallow breaths. 

"Kylo I-"

He bared his teeth before snatching your wrist and pulling you out of the room and slamming the door behind him. 

"What the fuck were you doing in there?" He seethed, his fingers digging into your wrist. He was shaking as white fury pulsated through his veins. You could feel it more clearly now. You were starting to understand why you could feel what he felt. 

"I'm sorry I- I got curious, I didn't know," you whimpered. Your chest was tight, fear digging into your lungs like talons. 

"You think you can just go through my shit?" He growled, before flinging you into the sofa. Your back hit the sofa with a loud thud as he towered over the top of you. 

"Kylo I'm sorry-" you were sobbing now. The visions from before were etched into your mind. "Something's happening I-"

"I don't want to hear you," he hissed. "Get the fuck out," his chest heaved as he panted above you. His eyes were black with rage. You hadn't noticed that his eyes were swollen and his left eye had a bruise around it. He almost seemed possessed as his hands clenched at his side. 

You were sure your heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. Your lip trembled. "Kylo your eye," 

"Did you fucking hear me?" His hand was soon wrapped around your throat, his gloved fingers digging into your soft, tender flesh as he ripped you from the sofa. 

You closed your eyes as another tear trickled down your cheek. 

"Kylo, you're scaring me," you try to wriggle out of his grip. 

"No," he shook his head before stepping towards you, his chest pressing against yours. "You're scaring me," He rasped, his lips only inches away from yours. 

"Let me go-"

"Your power," his fingers dug into your neck once again, "I can feel it." He growled. "I knew since the moment you stepped foot on StarKiller." He let go of your throat and you greedily gulped down lungfuls of air. "Snoke knows, too," His eyes dropped to the floor, and it seemed his whole demeanour changed. 

He looked almost defeated. 

He backed away from you, his face emotionless, as he reached down onto the sofa to grasp the hilt of his saber. "He knows," he was muttering to himself as he paced in the open space of the living room like a wild animal. You were too terrified to move, fearing that if you said anything else he'd use his lightsaber to kill you. "He's going to take you away from me," He growled before he ignited his lightsaber, the familiar screech of the weapon filling the room. 

"Commander, please-" 

He swung the saber at one of the walls behind him, red sparks licking at the air as he carved into the walls, an animalistic roar leaving his chest as he did so. "Why is everyone against me?" He was screaming. You knew how violent he could get, but this was a whole new level, and it terrified you. 

You were unsure on what to do. You were too terrified to speak, but you didn't want him to continue on like this, you were worried he'd hurt himself, or worse. 

"Kylo, please," you stepped towards him, but kept at a distance as he continued to slash into the walls and the floor below him, red sparks scattering along the black tiles. His massive shoulders heaved as he gasped for breath, pure rage radiated off him.

And then you heard it. 

His screams turned to sobs, and he fell to his knees, his saber falling from his grasp and scattering along the floor and quickly shutting off. His enormous frame shook violently as he wept, his head in his hands.

You hesitated for a moment before rushing over to him, wrapping your arms around his body as it shook with each heavy sob he let out. Your heart ached for him, and you felt fresh tears sting your eyes. 

He was completely broken. 

"Everything I have done," a sobbed wracked his chest, "has been for nothing," 

You closed your eyes and held the back of his head, your fingers twisting into his dark ebony locks. They were wet and sticky with sweat and tears. You held his head against your neck, holding him silently, allowing him to speak on his own device. 

"I killed my father, trying to prove to Snoke that I could do it, try to prove I can be like my grandfather, but it still-" he trailed off and another heavy sob shook his body. He was quick to wrap his arms around your waist, clinging onto you for support. "It still wasn't enough." 

You never thought the Supreme Leader would be capable of these emotions. Sure, he's shown his caring side, along with his animalistic rage he possesses. But seeing him so broken, so wounded and crying into your chest wasn't one of them. 

And it cut you up inside. 

Kylo was responsible for killing your parents, he's responsible for killing countless families and populations and destroying entire planets. And here he was, sobbing like an innocent, lost child. 

Supreme Leader Snoke must torment him to the point he finally breaks. And you hated it. He hurt him, and you don't know how long Kylo has been suffering under the rule of his Master. 

You pulled away and cradled his face. Tears coated his flustered cheeks and you brushed your thumb over the damp streaks, wiping the Commander's tears away. His pink lips were parted as he tried to catch his breath, and you didn't notice the split in the corner of his mouth. 

"Snoke," you breathed, "he's hurting you," you gently brushed your thumb over the darkening bruise below his eye, causing him to wince and shut his eyes. 

He dropped his head and sniffled. "Nothing new," He croaked. "I'll never be enough for him," you felt his hands shake against the fabric at your waist. "I work so hard, for everything," the only thing radiating off him now was pain, and it was wearing off on you. 

"Hey," you lifted his face to gaze into his beautiful eyes again, even though they were bruised and bloodshot with tears. You had no idea what to say to him to make him feel better, but words spewed from your mouth and you just prayed they were what he needed to hear. "You're enough," you brushed your thumb over his lip that had a small amount of blood smeared over it from the split in the corner of his mouth. "You're so strong," you pressed your forehead against his. 

"Why are you here?" He nuzzled his forehead against yours, still trying to catch his breath. He had stopped sobbing, but his body continued to shake. "I know what you saw," He rasped. "I killed-"

"Enough," you shook your head. "Nothing matters anymore. The Resistance doesn't matter anymore." The words left a sour taste in your mouth, but something inside of you was telling you it was true. The darkness had well and truely had its grasp on you, and there was no escaping now. "You're enough to me, Kylo. And I want you to know that I'll stand by you." A sad smile touched your lips. "I need you, Kylo Ren." 

Kylo froze for a moment, before his eyes glanced down at your lips, then back up to your eyes. Your name fell from his bloody lips but you cut him off as you smothered your lips against his, holding him close, threatening to never let him go. 

You didn't want to. Every word you said, you meant; you did need him. You needed him to show you the way, show you how to harness the darkness that was growing inside of you. Show you the ways of the Force.

A broken whimper left his throat as his hands cradled your head, his fingers gently digging into your scalp as he tried to bring you even closer to him. Your cheeks were wet with the tears that continued to slowly escape his dark eyes. The metallic taste of blood filled your mouth as he pressed his tongue between your teeth, a soft moan slipping from your throat. 

Kylo's hands left your face and they hooked underneath your thighs, before he stood, hoisting you up against his body. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your hands found his broad shoulders, your lips still smothered against his as he walked you towards his bed. 

Everything that happened just minutes ago seemed to fade away as he laid you back onto the mattress, hovering above you. His hair hung over his face and tickled your cheek as he leant back down to kiss you again, his hand cradling the side of your face. The familiar tingle between your legs had you wanting more, more of him. All of him. 

And his bulge against your hip was enough for you to realise that he want you, too. 

You pulled away, breaking the kiss to gaze up at him. His plush lips coated in saliva as he gasped for air. You admired the delicate scar that was etched into his cheek, running down to the side of his neck. The bruised and battered warrior willing to give all of himself to you. And you were willing to do the same. You could sense the need inside of him, sense the longing he had to feel wanted, the pain inside him was almost unbearable. 

"I want you," you whispered, reaching up to his face to graze your thumb down the scar you've grown to love. "All of you, Kylo." 

He stared at you for a moment as you traced his scar. He swallowed and the scar on his neck twitched. "Princess-" you lifted off the mattress to press your lips to his once again. You could never get used to the feeling of his lips. So warm, so tender, loving. 

A soft moan left him as your lifted your hips to meet his, wanting to feel him against you, wanting to feel him inside of you. 

His hands found the zipper of your First Order overalls, and he pulled it down to your waist, exposing your torso. He was quick to pull the overalls off your shoulders, freeing your arms as well as your breasts. Your felt the rush of blood hit your cheeks as he gazed down at you, before slowly pressing his lips against your collarbone. Your hands found his hair as he ever so slowly kissed down to your breasts, his free hand snaking underneath you to unclip your bra. 

"So beautiful," His voice was soft as he discarded your bra to the floor, before taking your nipple between his lips. A moan escaped your throat and your heart fluttered in your chest. You reached up to his chest, slowly undoing his tunic, his pale skin slowly becoming visible. Soon, his chest was bare and you threw his tunic to the side. 

Your head rolled back as his lips pressed against your abdomen, then against your pelvis before he slowly pulled the overalls down your legs, leaving you in just your underwear. In a matter of moments, Kylo slipped out of his trousers, leaving him in his black boxers. 

You took a moment to drink him in. His chest rose and fell with each heavy breath he took, the scar rising and falling as well. Your eyes raked down his muscular torso, admiring all of the other small scars he must've acquired during battles. His large hips dipped into the 'v' shape, and dark hair rose from his navel. His muscular thighs pushed your legs apart as he hovered over the top of you once again. 

"Is this what you want?" He breathed. He wasn't being the usual sarcastic ass he normally is, he was genuinely asking. And you nodded. 

"Yes," 

His hand dipped down between your legs, and the familiar touch of his strong calloused fingers grazing your opening lit your body alight, a whimper leaving your throat. Kylo was quick to smother your mouth with his as he rubbed your aching clit in slow circles, his cock was erect against your thigh as his tongue slipped passed your teeth, as he slowly devoured your mouth. 

"Are you sure you want-" 

"Yes, Kylo," you moaned as his fingers pressed against your clit once again. "Please, I need you." 

He pulled his hand away before leaning up to peel your underwear down your legs, discarding them to the side with the rest of your clothes. His boxers soon followed and he positioned himself between your legs again. He was achingly hard, pre cum already beading at the tip. The heat of his cock making your cunt clench with want.

The visions from touching Darth Vader's helmet flashed through your mind again, especially where you were standing beside Kylo, watching the galaxy slowly being obliterated. You closed your eyes and tried to push them back to the back of your mind. 

"Are you sure Princess?" his lips found yours once more in a soft kiss, as he grasped his dick and slid it up your entrance, coating it in your own slick. 

Your heart in your throat, you nodded, your hands snaking up to his shoulders. 

He pressed his lips to your neck, and you felt him push inside of you, slowly, inch by inch, he filled you. A sharp breath left your throat as you adjusted to the size of him, and your nails dug into his shoulders as a small rush of pain came over you, but it was soon moulded into pleasure.

Kylo groaned into your neck and his teeth found your tender skin once again. 

"Fuck," was all you could manage as he pulled back, his cock slipping out of you, before he slowly sunk back into you again. 

"I know Princess," He rasped, "I'm sorry," you could feel the small smirk on his face against your neck. 

Warmth began pooling into your belly, as Kylo started to pump in and out of you, your sex clenching around him, wanting more of him. The only noise in the room was his soft grunts against your neck and your occasional squeak as his cock pressed against your cervix. You knew he was big, but now that he was finally inside you you underestimated how big he really was. 

You could still feel the low hum of sadness radiating off of Kylo, but with each thrust, it seemed to dissipate. He was losing himself in you, and you were losing yourself in him. 

Constant moans started to erupt from your throat as the heat pooling between your legs began to seep throughout your whole body as you slowly edged closer to your climax. "Fuck, Kylo," you rolled your head back when his hand found your sex, his thumb circling your clit as he thrusted into you. 

"I know Princess," he grunted, "I know," his arm that was holding him up flexed as he tried to steady himself, his hands fisting the bedsheets beside your head. You grabbed onto his bicep, your nails digging into his pale flesh. Another groan left his throat. "Cum for me," he lifted his head and he gazed down at you. Sweat was beading at his forehead and his cheeks were flushed pink. 

You could get used to this sight. 

You closed your eyes and rolled your head back against the pillow as he started to pump into you a little faster, his thumb drawing tighter circles on your clit. "Fuck, Kylo," you whimpered.

"Look at me," he grunted. "I want to see you when you cum," his lips were parted as shallow breaths left his throat with each thrust. "Cum for me Princess,"

A few more deep strokes and you came, clenching around him, digging your nails into his flesh. Your eyes rolled back into your skull and your mouth parted as a cry left your throat, only to be smothered by Kylo's feverish lips once again, swallowing your moans. 

In a matter of moments, still inside of you, Kylo lifted you up and spun, so that he was sitting on the bed, his back against the head board, allowing you to sit in his lap. You cried out again as your cunt clenched around him again, your orgasm still wracking throughout your body. "Kylo-"

"Shh," he cupped your face with one of his hands, bringing your lips to his again, his other hand was at your hip, holding on to you, he didn't want to let you go. 

You pulled away. "I don't-" 

"You'll work it out Princess," his eyes were heavy with lust as he pushed up inside of you. You gasped as he hit an ache deep inside of you. You shuddered as you rocked your hips against him, trying to rub that ache again. A moan left your throat and you wrapped your arms around him, burying his head into your chest as you rocked against him, finally managing to rub the ache you were longing for. "That's it," his breath hitched in his throat as he panted against your breasts. "Good girl," 

You clenched around him again and brought your lip between your teeth. 

Kylo twitched beneath you and his grip tightened on your hip. He was close. 

He groaned your name into your neck, his eyes were shut as he held you close, rocking up into you, before you felt him cum inside you. A low growl leaving his chest, his fingers digging into your side as he rode out his orgasm, still pumping up into you while you rocked your hips against him. "Fuck," he hissed, rolling his head back. You leant down and pressed your lips against his in a soft kiss. A soft smile pricked his lips underneath yours, and you soon started to smile, too.

Your body vibrated with pleasure as he slowly slipped out of you, before helping you off him to lay you down next to him. The both of you laid in each other's arms, regaining composure and coming down from both of your highs. His chest rose and fell against your cheek, and his heart thumped against your ear. You nuzzled into his chest, wrapping your legs in between his, trying to get closer to him. 

"Kylo," you looked up at him, his face was still flushed after his orgasm. "Everything I said before," you traced the scar on his chest with your finger. "I mean it." 

His hand found your head, splaying his fingers through your hair and gently caressing your scalp. "I know, Princess." His lips pressed against your forehead as he pulled the sheets up over your naked bodies. 

"I hate what he did to you," you voice was soft. You were exhausted. Your body was aching all over, not only from the sex, but from feeling the pain that Kylo was feeling. It wore off on you. 

"Don't worry about it,"

You frowned. "I don't like seeing you hurt," you reached up and held his face. He looked down at you, his dark eyes still a little puffy from crying before. The bruise under his eye was terrible, the dark purple covered his whole eye socket and leaked down to his cheek. 

He sighed before rolling onto his side, facing you. "You don't need to worry about me," he pressed his lips to the tip of your nose as he wrapped his arms around you, cradling you into his chest. 

The both of you laid in each others arms in silence for a few minutes. It was comfortable. The both of you held each other and shared soft kisses, the pain in both of your bodies soon starting to fade. As you traced his scar, you glanced up at him. "How did you get this?" 

"Hm," his lips twitched. "Rey's lightsaber" he seemed almost embarrassed. You frowned.

The visions kept flashing behind your eyes, and you hated it. But the voice of Leia speaking Ben's name confuses you. After dwelling on it, you finally worked up the courage to ask. 

"Who's Ben?" You places your hand on his chest again, your thumb absentmindedly tracing his scar again. You felt his chest stutter for a moment and his eyes adverted your gaze. 

"You ask too many questions," his lips twitched again. "He was a nobody," he mumbled. "Ben's dead," his eyes found yours again. 

"How did Leia know him?" Your hand reached up to his face, your thumb grazing over his scar once more. 

"He was her son," there was something off in his voice. "None of it matters anymore," he shook his head and pressed his forehead against yours. "You need rest. You have training tomorrow." His eyes shut. 

You breathed him in, his usual musk was stronger after he had just fucked you, sweat still coated his pale flesh but you didn't care, you loved it. "I need you," you said again. You wanted him to know. You wanted him to know that you'll give all of yourself to him. And you hoped he could return it. 

His eyes opened once again, his dark irises searched yours, before his lips found yours one last time. 

"You're mine." He breathed, his hand cradling your face. You felt your stomach flutter at his gentle touch and words. "I want to hear you say it," 

A small smile touched your lips. 

"I'm yours, Kylo" 

A/n: guys I'm so sorry this took a while, I wasn't expecting it to be so long and I've been busy with uni. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it hurt me a little writing it 🥺


	14. Chapter 13

Kylo

I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. I held her in my arms as she drifted off to sleep, holding her close, not wanting to let her go. Ever. 

I was embarrassed. Embarrassed with how I handled myself when I caught her with my grandfather's helmet. I could feel her while I finished with Snoke. I could feel the curiosity she had for everything. And then I felt the sheer terror inside her.

And it broke me. 

I know how she feels, how terrifying the Dark side was at first. How suffocating it was. I felt like I was drowning. 

But I succumbed to it.

And it was only a matter of time before she, too, gave into it. 

Snoke knows about her. He could feel her the minute she stepped foot on StarKiller, just as I did. But I don't want Snoke anywhere near her. I know what he's capable of, and he could destroy her. Not only physically, but if he found her worth keeping, he would ruin her emotionally too. 

Just like he has done to me. 

I try to appease him, but everything I do, he expects more. I killed my father for him, and he regarded me like I was nothing. In fact, he tormented me about it, picking me apart, pointing out how it killed me to murder Han Solo. 

Last night's meeting with him was nothing but torment. Snoke found out that Rey was at Canto Bight when we intercepted the Resistance. And he knew I didn't kill her. 

"You're weak," he said. "Bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber," he mocked as he dug his talons into my throat. "You failed," and then, he swung his fist at me. My cheek throbbed but I just knelt before him, allowing him to continue his assault. "And now, that girl. She weakens you further. You're losing your way, Ren." He paced in front of me like a predator, waiting to devour its prey. "I can feel her strength. I can sense the Darkness inside her. If anything, Ren, she'll be stronger than you." He chuckled. "Not that that's a hard thing to accomplish," I remember standing to confront him, only to be thrown back in a bolt of lightning. "Pull yourself together, boy."

Princess stirred and nuzzled her head into my chest. She was warm against me. She had slept peacefully the whole night, yet I couldn't even shut my eyes. I just laid on my back, listening to her soft sighs and moans as she slept, her little body twitching against mine occasionally, my name falling from her lips. 

Snoke was right about one thing; she was making me weak. And I hated it. I'm still capable of destroying everything around me, hell, I killed my own father for fuck sake. But when it comes to her, I lose myself. Every time I see her pretty face my insides liquidate. The kiss broke me. I told her I needed her, and it was true. If I lost her, I'd lose myself. I thought my outburst last night would've scared her off, instead she cradled me like the fucking child I am as I cried into her chest. 

"You're weak," 

"Kylo," her husky voice pulled me back to reality.

I glanced down at her, she squinted up at me, her hair cascaded around her pretty face, mused from sleep. 

"Good morning," 

She smiled. "Morning," 

My heart faulted in my chest. I could get used to waking up beside her. The dim lights above my bed lit up her pretty face, her eyes glinting underneath them. I could lay here all day. But the unresolved anger and embarrassment inside me felt otherwise.

"We need to get up," my voice was thick with exhaustion. "You have training today," 

She groaned as she rose to her elbows to look at me. "I'd much rather stay here today," she traced my scar again, possibly for the hundredth time with her forefinger. I tensed underneath her touch before grabbing her wrist to stop her. 

"I'd suggest you get up and get ready," The words spewed from my mouth without my control. Anger still resonated in me from last nights altercation with Snoke. "I don't want you to disappoint Hux," 

She frowned and pulled her hand away. "Sorry," she sounded dejected as she sat up and pulled the sheet up and over her breasts. "Do I have time to shower?" 

"Yes," I glanced down at the mess on the sheets. "And I'd suggest you do," 

Her cheeks flushed a bright red before she spun to get out of bed, only to stumble and catch herself on the bedside table. "Fuck," 

I raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Princess?" I asked, knowing very well that she can't walk properly. She was so tight last night, she literally suffocated my cock. 

"Nothing, just-" she took an awkward step towards the bathroom, her hand resting on her abdomen, "sore," 

I gazed at her as she slowly limped to the bathroom before shutting the door behind her. Soon after, the sound of running water could be heard. 

I sat up in bed, noticing all of the marks Princess left on me from last night. I felt my cock twitch at the thought of her riding me again. 

Fuck. 

I slowly started to pull on my clothes, not bothering to wear my cowl or robes seeing as I'll be inside a TIE fighter for most of the day. I bent down to pull my boots on and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her to finish in the bathroom. 

I need to pull myself together. I'm the Supreme Leader of the First Order for fuck sake. I can't abandon my duties because of a girl. I've fucked multiple women and was still able to complete my duties, but Princess is making it pretty fucking difficult. Now she's learnt about the Dark side, I'm going to have to teach her how to use her powers, and hopefully she'll use them appropriately. 

I can't grow too attached to her. The only thing we share in common is the Dark side. But then again, it is quite a significant thing to share with another person. I'll simply teach her how to fly a TIE fighter, and how to use her powers; if she's not going to cause havoc on Starkiller with them. Then that'll be it. I can't keep losing myself between her legs. I need to man the fuck up and complete my duties as Supreme Leader.

The bathroom door opened and Princess stepped out in a towel, her hair hanging in wet strands around her bruised shoulders. 

Fuck.

She silently padded over to her clothes to gather them up, slipping her underwear on under the towel followed by her bra. But she dropped her towel for that. 

With her back to me I could see all the small bruises I left on her waist from holding onto her while she rode my cock. 

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. "We need to get going," I looked away from her as she spun to face me. 

"Yes, sir," she sighed. It was a sarcastic comment and I let it slide. I rose to my feet while she slipped into her black overalls and pulled on her boots. I made my way over to the small desk situated near the living room to retrieve my helmet, before swallowing and placing it over my head. 

I don't want people to see my beaten face, especially Hux. 

"Are you ready?" I turned to face her and she hesitated for a moment as she gazed up at me. She swallowed and gave a small nod before following me out of my quarters. 

The walk to the hangar was spent in silence, she trotted along next to me, giving an occasional smile to other crew members that rushed passed us. I'm glad she couldn't see the tiny smile on my face as I glanced down at her. The helmet is good for one thing at least. 

We finally made it to the hangar, it was buzzing with Stormtroopers as well as pilots. And Hux was standing in the centre of the hangar speaking with Phasma. The chrome attire was really unnecessary. But anyway-

"Are we flying your Silencer, Commander?" Princess turned to look up at me, her eyebrow raised. I glanced up to peer at the Silencer in the hangar. 

"Sure," I lied. 

Her face lit up and her eyes sparkled. "Really?" 

"Absolutely not," I straightened and made my way over to Hux, Princess trudging behind me muttering curses under her breath. 

"Ah, glad you both could make it." Hux smiled. My eyes rolled without warning. Another advantage of wearing this helmet. "I trust you will show her the ropes, Ren." 

"Yes," 

Princess stood beside me, gazing at Phasma in awe, a hint of intimidation buzzing off her. 

"Well then, I'll leave the both of you, Phasma has told me there's been a few X-Wings spotted heading towards us," he looked down at Princess. "I trust you'll take them down." He said before turning on his heel and leading Phasma towards his office. 

Only I know what goes on between them in his office. And it's not something I want to think about.

"Wait," Princess looked up at me, her face turning a little pale. "They're expecting me to just go out and start taking down X-Wings, today?" Her eyes widened. 

"You're not stupid," I muttered as I lead her over to the TIE fighters. "Besides, it takes two to fly one of these properly." I made my way up the stairs, opening the latch of the TIE fighter. She huffed behind me as I climbed inside, before quickly discarding my helmet into one of the compartments beside me. 

I always forget how crammed these things are. 

She dropped down and took a seat behind me, not uttering a word. 

"Now," I flipped on multiple switches to power on the ion engine. The controls lit up as it run through its system check. "I'll be flying this thing. You can control the laser cannons, turret and launchers." 

"I, um, ok." Her voice was a little shaky. 

"Just think of it like one of your X-Wings," I huffed before flipping another switch, unlatching the TIE fighter from the wall. The engine whirred to life and I pulled up the lever to leave the hangar. 

"Kylo, there's so many buttons," 

"The green buttons to your left are for the laser cannons, the ones on your right are for the turret and launchers." I said as we shot out of the hangar, the familiar roar of the fighter coming to life as I accelerated up above StarKiller. 

Snow covered the terrain, machinery and weaponry made up the vast majority of the landscape. 

"Wow," Princess' soft voice sounded from behind me. 

A smile touched my lips, much to my disgust.

Get yourself together, Kylo. Fuck. 

My lips turned to a thin line before I sent the fighter somersaulting through the air, the fighter whipping in quick circles. Princess shrieked from behind me. 

"Kylo, what the fuck?" She turned in her seat to try and glare at me. 

"You need to get the feel for flying these," I shrugged before accelerating again, my back pressing into the chair. "These are a lot more agile than X-Wings." 

She sighed, "Clearly," 

I spotted another handful of TIE fighters exit the hangar at pace, and a voice came over the intercom. It was Hux. 

"Ren, four X-Wings were spotted near the centre, I want you to get rid of them, immediately." 

I accelerated once more to fly to the centre of StarKiller, where it's main weaponry was situated, as well as it's well-known laser cannon. 

"You know what you need to do?" I called to her.

"I think so," she mumbled. 

"Well, I sure fucking hope so," I growled as I spotted the X-Wings that were already shooting at the other TIE fighters, both parties circling and somersaulting around each other. "Fire up the cannons," 

She fumbled with the controls and I heard the familiar beep sounding from the controls. They were warm and ready to fire. 

"I'll get us close enough, use the controls to aim and fire at them," I said as I hurled the both of us into the chaos that was erupting above us. 

StarKiller base was becoming more and more distant as I ascended the TIE fighter to battle, weaving between missiles that the X-Wings were firing at us. An older X-Wing screamed passed us and I reefed the leaver up to perform a lag roll, spinning as we ascended to then roll back behind the X-Wing. "Now would be a good time to shoot, Princess," my grip around the leaver tightened. 

She pressed the button for the laser cannon and finally, green beams of light started to shoot from the sides of the fighter, only narrowly missing the X-Wing. I adjusted the fighter, sending it somersaulting again as the laser cannons continued shooting towards the target, finally blasting one of the X-Wing's engines and sending it spiralling to the icy floor of StarKiller. A smile touched my lips. "Good girl," I steadied the TIE fighter once again. "Try the turret this time," I glanced back at her as her hand gripped the controls for it. 

I rolled the fighter back on itself to track another X-Wing that had shot down one of our own. "Steady your aim and when you're happy, fire," 

"I-I can't," she whimpered. 

I frowned. "What do you mean you can't?" My voice was rising. 

"That's Jackson's X-Wing," 

"I suggest you shoot him down, otherwise Hux is going to kill you," I growled, jaw tightening. 

"Then I don't care!" She yelled. 

"I'm ordering you, to fire," I was yelling now. Fuck. 

"Fuck you, Kylo," 

What is her problem?

I rolled my eyes before flipping a switch, overriding her controls so I could shoot instead. The turret was already armed and with a push of a button, more green lasers started erupting from the TIE fighter, penetrating the X-Wing and sending it plummeting to the snow. I quickly glanced around, waiting to find any more enemy X-Wings, but the other TIE fighters had already shot them down. 

A pang of guilt hit me when I felt the sadness radiating off of her.

Hux's voice came over the intercom once again. "That's all of them, Ren. Come back to the hangar," 

Jaw clenched, I diverted towards one of the mountains in the opposite direction. Thick snow blanketed the top of it. 

"Where are we going?" Princess spun to look at me, her face was a little flustered. "Hux wants us back in the hangar,"

"I don't give a fuck what Hux wants," I said as I landed the TIE fighter on top of the mountain, behind some large rocks. "Come here," 

"What?" 

"Come here, now," I pushed the controls away from me to give her space. She hesitated for a moment before leaving her chair to stand beside me. 

"What do you-" before she could finish her sentence I grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto my lap so that she was facing me. "Kylo, let me go," she hissed, but I reached up and gripped her throat to silence her.

"When I give you an order," I tightened my grip and my other hand found he waist to hold her still. "I expect you to fucking follow it," her face turned a shade of red, but I wasn't choking her to suffocate her. "You like this," my voice was thick as I felt her against me. "Filthy whore," 

"Fuck you," she grasped my hair and pulled at it, trying to get away from me. 

"You wish," I mumbled before pressing my lips to her chest. "You wish I'd take you right here, don't you?" I sunk my teeth into her collarbone, a whimper leaving her throat as I brushed my hand over her breast. "Fuck you up against the glass, like the needy little slut you are?" 

"No-fuck," she tried to pull away but I was quick to catch her again and hold her against me. "We need to go back," 

"Hm," I looked up at her pretty little face. She was flustered, her hair sticking to her forehead from the sweat that misted her skin. "Fine. But you're flying us back. I'll show you." I shifted beneath her, my cock pressing between her legs. "Turn around and sit on my lap."

She did as she was told, thankfully, and leant forwards grasping the lever and the other controls. 

"Power the engine up," I grabbed her hand to guide her to the main power controls and she pressed the button, the engines roaring to life once again. She shifted on my lap once again, pressing into me. I grabbed her hip and dug my fingers into her flesh. "Stop moving," 

"Oh, sorry, Commander. Am I turning you on?" She rolled her eyes. 

Bitch. 

"Pull the lever, slowly, and bring us up off the ground," I guided her hand and entwined my fingers with hers to pull the lever. The fighter slowly rose off the mountain, blowing puffs of snow around us. 

In a matter of seconds she hit the accelerator, sending the TIE fighter off the edge of the mountain, but quickly gaining control and steadying the fighter. A small smile plastered on her face. 

"How about, you don't do that," I growled. 

"Hm, did I scare you Commander?" 

"No," 

Yes. Fuck. 

She sent the fighter somersaulting as I did before, spinning at speed as we headed back towards the hangar. The smile on her face only grew. "These are awesome," a small giggle left her throat. 

"Yeah- be careful," I frowned and grabbed her hand to direct her away from the weaponry she was bee-lining for. 

"So, are you going to teach me how to use the Force too?" She shifted against me again, making me twitch beneath her. 

"Maybe," was all I said before I took her hand again, allowing the TIE fighter as we entered the hangar. I spun the fighter so the crew members could attach it back to the sides of the hangar and switched the engine off. Princess stood up from my lap to climb out of the fighter. I pulled my helmet from the compartment and soon followed.

++++

"Breathe," 

"Kylo I can't-"

"Shut your mouth and listen to me for once," 

She groaned and shut her eyes. Her legs crossed underneath her as she sat before me. 

"What do you see?" I pulled the desk chair towards me before taking a seat in front of her. We've been here for over an hour. Her patience starting to wear thin, as is mine. 

Her face twisted in thought, her lips pursing. 

"Don't force it," I mumbled. "Let it come to you," 

"Nothings coming-"

"What did I tell you? Shut up, unless you can give me an answer." I leant back into the chair, crossing my leg as I took a sip of my whisky.

She sighed and relaxed, her small hands pressed to the tiles beneath her. Her little body sat before me, and I so desperately wanted to scoop her up and fuck her into next week, but she wants to learn. 

She needs to learn. 

I placed my lightsaber down quietly in front of her, admiring the concentration on her face. She took a deep breath and tensed. 

"The galaxy," her voice was soft. "It's pretty," 

I remained quiet, observing as her mouth parted slightly. 

Not as pretty as you, Princess.

"I-I see my parents, when I was little. My dad always fought with my grandfather." She frowned. "The darkness. It's calling me again," 

"Give into it," I mumbled and leant forward, searching her face. Her mind was running wild, I could sense everything she was seeing. 

She whimpered and her face hardened. "StarKiller, destroying everything," her fists clenched and I noticed my lightsaber was starting to shake, but then it quickly stopped. "And I see you," 

I swallowed, my heart was in my throat. She could see me, see me at a young age, see me as-

I stood. "That's enough." My fists were clenched at my sides and the lightsaber was shaking once again, this time more violently. 

"Snoke," she whimpered, completely unaware of what was happening around her. I could feel the pressure building in the room, the lightsaber rattling against the tiles. She took a sharp breath and the tiles beneath her cracked, small chips scattering across the floor. I gazed down at her in awe, before her soft voice left her chest again. "Grandfather," 

Grandfather? 

The lightsaber ignited at my feet and burnt into the tiles. She gasped at lurched forward, grasping the saber and pointing it up at me, her hand trembling. Her eyes were dark, she looked almost possessed. 

"Put it down, Princess," I swallowed and took a step back. "You're ok," 

She stared at me for a moment, her little body trembling all over now. Her eyes were bloodshot. She hesitated for before disarming the lightsaber and dropping it onto the tiles. 

"Kylo," she looked up at me, her eyes welling with tears. I stared down at her, still stunned with what she just said a minute ago. 

"Snoke is your Grandfather?" 

Why did he not say anything? How didn't I pick up on that? Snoke was right. She is strong. And the fact that she was his granddaughter only solidified that. 

"I-I didn't know, I never saw him. But it only came to me-" she trailed off as a sob wracked her tiny body. 

Showing her the ways of the Force was seeming to be a fucking stupid idea. 

This is a lot more than what we bargained for.


	15. Chapter 14

Warning- sexy time, could get a little rough, dunno 😌

It had been over an hour and your body still trembled. The visions of your grandfather were blurred at first. You always remembered your father arguing with him, but you were too young to remember who your grandfather was before he vanished. 

And during your lesson with Kylo, everything came crashing down on top of you. Snoke always sounded familiar, and now finding out that he's your grandfather has shocked you to the core. 

And Kylo.

You could feel the mix of emotions running through him. Worry, curiosity and fear.

You wanted to go back to your quarters, wanted to be alone to try and comprehend what had happened, but Kylo wouldn't let you out of his sight. He wanted you to stay.

He confused you, though.

Ever since the two of you had woken up he was distant; apart from when he held you in the TIE fighter and threatened to fuck you up against the glass. You wanted him to, but your pride got in the way. But even then, he wasn't himself. You could still feel the hum of sadness inside him. 

He's embarrassed about what happened with Snoke last night. 

"Ren," you gazed up to the door of Kylo's quarters. Hux was standing in the door way, back straight and chin twisted out like he had a pole shoved up his ass. "Stormtroopers have captured one of the Resistance pilots," 

Kylo stood from his desk. 

You swallowed. You wondered who the pilot was, perhaps it was Jackson? 

You drank in the view of him. His broad shoulders rose with a heavy breath. He was without his helmet, and Hux noticed the bruise on his eye. 

"What happened to you?" He frowned, but seemed slightly amused. "Did your prisoner finally cave?" He glanced to you as you sat on the edge of Kylo's bed. 

This probably isn't a great look.

"No," Kylo's voice was dark, tired even. He seemed exhausted. 

"Why is she in your quarters?" Hux took a step inside Kylo's quarters, closing in on Kylo.

"Training,"

He scoffed. "Training for what?" He raised an eyebrow and glanced to you once again.

You swallowed, waiting for Kylo to come up with an excuse, but he remained silent, his hands clenched by his side.

"I'm force sensitive," before you could comprehend anything, words spilled from your mouth. "Apparently," you shrugged. 

Hux stared at you for a moment, before his gaze was on Kylo again. "Is this true?" 

"Yes," Kylo reached for his lightsaber and attached it to his hip. "Prepare the prisoner for interrogation," 

For a moment you thought he meant you, your stomach dropped and your heart faulted. 

Hux exchanged glances between you and Kylo before turning and leaving. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and glanced up to Kylo who had turned to face you. His cheek was puffy, his eye shut only slightly due to the swelling. But he still managed to look beautiful. His dark locks framing his chiselled jaw and bringing out those fucking eyes. 

You could stare at him all day. 

"Stay here, I'll be back," 

You frowned. "Can I come?" You knew his answer would be no, but you wanted to know who it was. 

"No, stay here." He pulled his cowl on over his shoulders before grabbing his helmet. 

You rose to your feet and padded over to him. He seemed to back away slightly, a hint of confusion rushing over his face. You swallowed before reaching up to his face, but his gloved hand was quick to catch your wrist. "Don't touch me," his voice was soft, there was no malice, only pain. 

"Kylo," you wriggled in his grip. "Let me touch you," you just wanted to hold his face. You missed him. All day you felt like he was somewhere else, disregarding your presence; apart from the incident in the TIE fighter. His grip loosened and his hand found the nape of your neck. 

"I have to go. Stay here and be good. I'll be back." He brushed passed you and placed his helmet over his head before his dark mass fluttered out of his quarters.

You waited a few minutes, figuring out a way how you could get to the interrogation room without being questioned by crew members. After all, you still were a prisoner. But you wanted to know who the pilot was. You had to know. You had to know what the Resistance were doing. 

You exited Kylo's quarters, sheepishly walking down the halls. You couldn't remember exactly where the interrogation rooms were. Your best chance was to find Lexa or Noah and ask them. You made your way to the med-bay, surprisingly being ignored by most crew members. Perhaps they had gotten used to seeing you work for the First Order. Perhaps they don't see you as a prisoner anymore.

You walked through the doors, soon spotting Lexa standing beside a patient, writing down notes on her clipboard. You waited for her to finish with her patient before walking over to her.

"I need your help," you kept your voice low and she spun in fright. 

"Fuck, man," she laughed. "What do you need?" She held her clipboard against her chest, a small smile plastered on her pretty face. 

"Where are the interrogation rooms? I can't remember." 

She frowned. "Why do you-"

"They've brought in a Resistance pilot," you whispered. "I want to know who it is."

She scrunched her nose. "Alright, follow me. But don't drag me down if the Commander catches you." 

You rolled your eyes. "I don't worry about him." 

Her eyes widened before she lead you out of the med-bay, ushering you down the dark endless hallways before she stopped. "They're down that hall to the left," she tilted her head to another shorter hallway. "This is as far as I'm going. Nobody is supposed to be up here unless they're stormtroopers or the Commander." She kept her voice quiet. 

"Alright, thanks heaps," you smiled before slowly making your way down the hallway, being sure to look around for any guards, and Kylo. The hallway was silent, and not a stormtrooper was sighted. 

Swallowing, you made your way to the first door, only finding a stormtrooper standing inside the room, blaster in hands. Then you saw him. 

Jackson was baring his teeth trying to get out of the restraints. You felt your heart ache for him. You glanced inside the room. Kylo wasn't in there, thankfully. You swallowed before knocking on the glass. The stormtrooper spun on their heels, perhaps stunned to see a new pilot lingering at the door. 

The door hissed open. 

"You're not meant to be here," his voice was blunt. 

"Commander Ren sent me," you shifted your stance. "Just gathering some," you looked down. "Pilot intel," 

Pilot intel?

"I was not aware of this. Commander Ren is yet to arrive to interrogate the rebel scum himself." The white helmet seemed to glow underneath the LEDs. 

"He spoke to me personally twenty minutes ago, he's running late. So, I'd appreciate if you could let me complete my duty as directed by him." You couldn't believe the bullshit spewing from your mouth. 

The stormtrooper hesitated for a moment before stepping passed you, allowing you inside as he waited outside the door. 

You hadn't noticed Jackson had been staring silently at you the whole time. As the door shut, you stepped towards him, unable to find appropriate words. You took in the familiar dark curly hair, green eyes and those freckles. Your heart swelled. You missed him dearly.

Your name fell from his bleeding lip. "What are you doing here?" 

You nearly scoffed. "Remember months ago I crashed?" You stepped towards him. "They took me in. Kept me as a prisoner." The words hurt as they fell from your own lips. Jackson's face was cut up and bruised, most likely from when he crashed. All because of Kylo. "Why didn't anyone come for me?" You crossed your arms, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

He swallowed and rolled his head back against the bed; if you could call it that. "Once we returned, a week later, we were going to come. We needed to gather up the numbers and repair damages on our Wings." He looked back up at you, his green eyes showing hardly any emotion. It wasn't unusual for him. He wasn't the type to get emotional and express his feelings. He was the type who'd look after you, buy nothing ever seemed to be wrong with him. Much like a big brother you looked up to. He told you the truth, whether it hurt or not. 

You swallowed. "Then why didn't you come? You all left me here." 

"Leia told us not to." 

You stilled for a moment, being taken back by his response. Leia didn't want them to? 

"Why?"

"She sensed a change in you." 

Your heart was in your throat, your fists clenching at your side. "I don't understand-"

"She picked up on your force sensitivity, and how you were being pulled by the Dark." He tried to pull his wrists free, but to no avail. "It's because of him." 

Your hands started to tremble, the pressure inside the room starting to build. "She left me here?" 

Although you were happy with Kylo, to an extent, and starting to get into routine on StarKiller, being confronted by your past, by Jackson, only made you long for the Resistance. You missed Jackson, missed Leia and missed your boring life on the Tantive IV. But you still found yourself wanting to stay on StarKiller. 

"She didn't want to risk bringing you home for you to only turn against us." Jackson looked away, this time a hint of anger crossed his face. 

You couldn't find words. He was right. Why would they risk bringing you home for you to only go against them to serve the First Order? You knew you preferred your life now, but it still hurt knowing that your friends and family from the Resistance didn't want you back. 

"I can see the change in you, mate." Jackson gazed at you. "Your whole demeanour has changed." 

You chewed on your cheek, searching his bruised and battered face. "A lot has changed." You shrugged. 

"I guess so," he swallowed. "Has he hurt you?" 

You shook your head. "No," you swallowed and looked down. "He hasn't." 

"You're lying," his voice was cold. "Look at me and tell me he isn't hurting you." 

You knew you couldn't. Although he wasn't hurting you physically, emotionally he was ruining you, especially today. You were so confused. 

"I'm sorry I can't get you out of here. I'll talk to him."

"That won't be necessary." 

You nearly shrieked, you hadn't noticed the door had opened behind you, and Kylo Ren stood in the door frame, his long black cowl and robes making his figure look all the more menacing, along with his helmet. 

"Get out. Now." The dark voids of his helmet peering through you. 

Your lip trembled as you looked back at Jackson, his chest swelling as he took in a shaky breath. "I'm sorry," was all you could manage as you turned away from him, brushing passed Kylo as a few tears slipped down your cheeks.

"Escort her back to her quarters," Kylo's voice was cold as he ordered the stormtrooper who was guarding the door to take you. 

The door shut behind you and your heart sunk, not knowing what Kylo would do to Jackson. You hoped he wouldn't kill him, but you remembered Noah saying that majority of Kylo's prisoners end up dead. You felt bile rise in your throat. Your mind still spun at Jackson's words, that Leia called off the mission to attempt to retrieve you from StarKiller. 

The walk was quick back to your quarters, and you watched as the stormtrooper that escorted you planted themselves outside your door. 

You glanced around your room, taking in the familiarity of it. You had spent so much time in Kylo's quarters you forgot how small your quarters really were.

You couldn't shake the nauseous feeling creeping into your stomach. Kylo isn't happy, and you'll most likely regret it once he's finished with Jackson. A frustrated sigh left your chest and you took the time to have a quick shower, trying to relieve the tension building up inside you but it was of no use. You changed into your tracksuit pants and black tee shirt before falling back into your bed. 

Flying the TIE fighter was amazing, although, you never thought you'd be a pilot of one. The speed and agility of it was amazing. You could really find yourself excelling as a First Order pilot, but encountering Jackson was a brutal reminder that you still cared and you were turning against your friends and family. 

You noticed the small ornaments on the coffee table in front of you, as well as some magazines you hadn't bothered to open. Swallowing, you sat up in your bed, dangling your feet over the edge of the bed. You stared at the ornaments for a moment, before reaching your hand out. You cleared your mind and focussed intently on the objects on the coffee table. You flexed your hand and your arm tensed, there was a small hum inside your head as your hand trembled. 

The little ornament of the First Order emblem shook for a second but then stilled. You groaned and shifted closer to the coffee table, hand still stretched out. A few moments passed before the emblem started to rattle against the wooden coffee table once again, this time more violently. You swallowed and shut your eyes, flexing your hand once again, and in a matter of moments, the cold metal emblem was inside the palm of your hand. You opened your eyes, amazed that you had just managed to do that on your own. 

Kylo only helped you about finding yourself within the Force, he hadn't even spoken about using your powers. 

A smile touched your lips as you rotated the emblem in your hand. You could get used to this. 

But the thought of Snoke being your grandfather still lingered inside your mind. It almost terrified you, you knew what he was capable of doing to Kylo, would be do the same to you? Would he break you like that? Use you in order to fulfil the role of-

"Do you ever listen to me?" 

Kylo's menacing voice made you jump, normally you can sense when he was close, but for some reason you weren't aware of his presence of late. Perhaps he's shut you out. It wouldn't surprise you. 

"You should know by know," you flexed your wrist, sending the little First Order emblem floating wobbly back onto the coffee table, but it bounced and rolled onto the floor. "That I'm not a good listener." 

Kylo stood, his unmasked faced completely dumbfounded as he watched you use the Force on your own. Sure it was a little rough around the edges, but nothing that some more practice won't fix. 

The knot in Kylo's throat bobbed as he swallowed before his eyes found yours. "I gave you an order," he slammed his helmet down on the small kitchenette bench.

You found yourself rolling your eyes and you crossed your arms. "Sorry, Commander" you mocked. His fists balled beside him and his jaw tensed. 

"When I give you an order, you follow it. Otherwise, you'll face the consequences." His voice was thick. 

You stood and stomped towards him, stopping only inches away from him. "What are you going to do to me, huh?" You hissed, pushing into his chest. "What did you do to Jackson?" 

"He's none of your concern anymore,"

Your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach. "You killed my best friend?" You nearly shrieked.

"No, but he's taken care of," 

"Fuck you," venom was laced in your voice. 

"Don't push it," he growled, grabbing both of your wrists with just his hand. 

"What is with you today?" You ripped your hands away from him and gazed up at him, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

His jaw tensed again and his eye twitched, anger was radiating off of him, and it was suffocating you. "Nothing," he stepped towards you, backing you up against the wall, his monstrous stature towering over you. "You just need to learn to listen to me for once." 

You rolled your eyes. "That's bullshit, Kylo," you shook your head as your back came in contact with the cold metal wall. "Ever since you woke up you've been distant, completely disregarding me like I'm nothing-" 

"Didn't take you to be the clingy type," his eye twitched again. 

Anger bubbled inside your belly. "Fuck you. I'm not clingy. I just want to know why you're being like this today? What's changed?" You we're now finding it hard to breathe, more tears threatened to fall from your lashes. 

Kylo's bruised and scarred face peered down at your own, his chest only inches away from yours. He didn't say anything and swallowed, his lip forming a thin line. 

"What happened to you needing me?" Your voice cracked and a single tear slipped down your cheek. You were confused why you were so emotional about this. You never have been so attached to a man before, perhaps it's because he's been the first man to touch and fuck you in ways nobody else had. But you weren't the type to rely on a man for comfort, but Kylo, it was a different story when it came to him. 

You longed for him. You wanted him. You wanted him to cherish you, show you the ways of the force, of the Dark side. But you wanted him to want you. When he broke down and told you he needed you, you believed him, of course. But, after today, you weren't sure if that was just a spur of the moment. 

"You know what I meant when I said that," he lifted his chin, his eyes adverting away from yours. "I need you for the First Order." He was blunt, and it only made it hurt worse. 

"You told me that I was yours," a few more angry tears rolled down your cheeks. "You said-"

"It doesn't matter what I said," he spat, his gloved hand wrapping around your throat, crushing your windpipe this time. You whimpered and wrapped your little fingers around his wrist, trying to pry yourself free but it was of no use as Kylo stepped towards you, his knee spreading your legs apart. "What does matter," he rasped, bringing his lips to your ear. Your heart was threatening to crack your ribcage. "I'm going to ruin that little cunt of yours," 

You swallowed, taken back by his filthy comment, but you couldn't hide the fact that you felt your core clench. It was still a little sore from the previous night. Your cheeks burned at the thought of him inside of you.

"Not happening," you shook your head the best you could. You knew playing hard to get only roused him further. "Let go of me," 

"Hm," his tongue dragged up your neck, he'd surely be able to feel your pulse thumping against his tongue. "Not until you learn your lesson," his free hand, that wasn't restricting your airway, lifted to your mouth. "Take it off," 

You glared at him. You wanted this so bad, but you also didn't want to look desperate for it. That would only spur him on, and possibly make it worse for you. 

His jaw tensed as he pressed his gloved finger to your lip. "Take it off, now," he growled. "Otherwise I'll hurt you," 

You scoffed. "What's fucking new?" 

His gloved hand slapped you across you face, your skin beginning to burn from the pain. You couldn't help but smirk as your cunt clenched again. 

"Take," he brought his gloved fingers to your lips again, before jamming his forefinger and middle finger into your mouth, his thumb pressed under your chin before pressing down onto your tongue, a gag jerking your chest. "It off," he finished, he pulled his fingers back slightly so you could bite the end of the glove to help him remove it. 

His hand was free, and you couldn't help but notice the bruises on his knuckles. You glanced at them, then at him, knowing very well they're probably from him beating Jackson in the interrogation room. You helped him with his other glove shortly after. 

Kylo stepped away from you, his dark eyes roaming your body dressed lazily in your comfy clothes. "Strip," his voice was raspy. You stood there for a moment, contemplating on disobeying him, but the ache between your legs made you cave. You slowly pulled your shirt over your head, followed by your tracksuit. You slowly wiggled out of them, purposely to piss Kylo off. 

You stood against the wall, only in your classic black underwear, the cool metal wall sending shivers up your spine, or perhaps it was the way Kylo's dark eyes roamed your body, his mouth parted slightly. 

"Seems you need me in other ways, not just as your little First Order bitch," the words spewed from your mouth as you noticed the bulge between his legs. 

"Don't push it, Princess," he growled before he was in your space again, his large hands grasping your waist as he lifted you up, smashing you against the wall again. You wrapped your legs around his waist for support. 

A smirk twitched on your lips. "Or what?" 

Kylo's face remained emotionless, and in a matter of seconds his lips were on yours, a greedy moan leaving his throat. You couldn't help but whimper at the familiarity of his soft feverish lips as they smothered yours. You closed your eyes, entwining your fingers into his dark locks.

"You don't want to find out," his voice was thick as his hand travelled down between your legs before dipping inside your underwear. The warmth of his fingers against your sex made you tremble and you took your lip between your teeth. His calloused finger slid around your entrance, but he never pushed inside of you, he was teasing you and he knew. "So wet for me," he purred and his lips found your throat once again. "So needy for my cock, hm?" His teeth sunk into your shoulder and you bit back a moan.

"No," you shook your head. "I can take care of myself, you're the one that's needy, Kylo," you were lying, you did want him. In fact, you craved him. 

"Best be quiet princess, the guard is still outside." A playful smile touched his pink lips. Your eyes widened.

"You didn't get rid of him?" You whispered harshly. 

He shook his head and pushed two fingers inside of you with ease, your mouth fell open as a soft moan left your throat. Kylo's mouth found yours, swallowing your moans as he curled his fingers inside of you, spreading you open. 

Your fingers entwined in his dark locks, gripping at him to try and ground yourself as he worked his calloused fingers inside of you. 

You ached for him, and he was managing to rid you of it. 

"I'm going to fuck you against this wall," His breath was hot against your throat. "And you're going to be quiet," he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, before pulling away. "That's an order," 

You nodded and reached down to unbutton his trousers, but the familiar invisible pressure was at your wrists and it reefed them up above your head. "Uh, uh," he shook his head, finally freeing himself, his cock red and twitching. "You don't get to touch," he was aching just as much as your were. 

"Kylo-" 

"Quiet," was all he said before he roughly thrusted into you, completely filling you without warning. A gasp left your throat and you clenched around him. 

He was splitting you open, you were still sore from last night, and you were taking him again. And something was telling you he wasn't going to be gentle with you. Not this time. His fingers dug into the underside of your thigh, his other hand grasping your waist. 

"I'm going to ruin you,"

A small laugh left your throat. "You already have," it was a sarcastic comment, but there was a tinge of sadness behind it. His dark eyes found yours, his lips parted as he thrusted into you, his cock hitting the ache you needed relieved. "You've ruined me," 

Kylo's lips found yours again, a groan leaving his throat as he claimed your lips and your cunt. His tongue pressed through your teeth, swiping over your own. You kissed him back, desperately wanting to wrap your arms around his shoulders but his force hold still had you immobile. 

Kylo pulled away again, only to nuzzle his head into your shoulder, his heavy pants against your ear only turned you on more. "Talk to me," you managed between a choked moan, resting your cheek on the side of his head, his dark hair tickling your neck. 

"I told you to be quiet," 

"You're scared," another soft moan left your throat. "Tell me why," 

Kylo growled, before his hand found your throat again, squeezing it hard enough to stop blood circulation. "Open your mouth," 

You hesitated for a moment, wriggling in his grip, before you opened your mouth, only for Kylo to spit inside it. "Now swallow, and shut up," he hissed before his teeth found the delicate skin on your neck and slamming his hips against yours. You nearly choked as pain ripped through you, only for it to mould into pleasure. You swallowed and bit your lip, trying to hold in your moans. 

Your body was hot and you felt the warmth pool inside your belly as Kylo drove into you over and over, his thrusts were unmerciful. He had let his guard down, his thoughts running wild, his emotions radiating off him. He was scared. He was scared he was failing everyone around him, failing himself. He was exhausted, physically and mentally. Kylo's grip adjusted, and he hooked his arms underneath your knees, your legs were spread even further and your thighs were nearly pressing against your sides. He didn't hesitate to thrust back inside of you, his dick hitting your cervix. A whine left your throat and finally the invisible pressure left your wrists, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers grasping his hair that was starting to stick and clump together from sweat. 

The warmth pooled at your belly once again, you were ready to explode around him, but he stopped. "Oh, no, Princess," he moved his head back to look at you. His mouth was swollen and pink, sweat misting his forehead, his eyes dark with lust. "You don't get to cum," he growled, taking your lip between his teeth. "That's your punishment." 

"Kylo please-"

"Uh, uh," he shook his head before slowly slipping into you again. "I'm going to fill you with my cum," he slipped out again, before ramming inside you again. "And your going to take it like the whore you are," 

You swallowed. "Please let me cum," 

"No," 

"Kylo-"

"Shut the fuck up," he thrusted into you again, you moaned, a lot louder than normal. You wanted to piss him off. Hell, you wanted the guard to hear you, even if that meant Kylo got in trouble. 

"I told you-"

"Fuck me, Kylo," you smirked, another obnoxious moan leaving your throat. You were enjoying this. You were sure you would be in agony tomorrow, but seeing the look of pure shock on Kylo's gorgeous, sweaty face was worth it. 

"You cunt," he growled before moving away from the wall only to throw you to the bed, flipping you onto your stomach, before he grasped your hips and lifted them up. "You know I always win," 

"What ever you say, Ren," you smirked into the pillow, peering back at him behind you, his hands grasping your waist, before he slammed into you again, one of his hands moving towards your head, grabbing a handful of your hair and reefing your head back. 

"Just remember who you belong to. You're a nobody," he spat, mercilessly pounding into you, the sound of skin smacking against each other filled the room. "Say it," he groaned and you managed another loud moan, only pissing Kylo off further. Frustration and anger radiated off him, and he was taking it out on you. 

"I'm a nobody," you whimpered, trying to catch your breath. 

"You're nothing," he growled, his hand tightening in your hair. "But not to me." 

Kylo's hips shuddered against yours. He was close, and you let out a frustrated whine, so desperate to cum. You tried to sneak your hand between your legs, but Kylo was quick to grab your wrist, pushing it down into the mattress, before a heavy groan left his throat as he filled you with his cum, leaning over you as he caught his breath. His dark hair falling into his eyes and his parted lips made you only more desperate to cum. 

"Kylo please," you swallowed. "I'm begging you, let me cum," 

Kylo slipped out of you, swiftly putting himself away before flipping you onto your back, his face only inches from yours. "Not happening princess," his lips found your neck and he sucked, hard. 

You rolled your head back and pressed your thighs together, trying to find some friction to stop the ache between your legs. "Kylo-"

"I said no," he pulled away. "Get some rest, you have more training tomorrow." Was all he said as he rose from the bed, striding over to the kitchenette to retrieve his helmet. 

You sat up in bed, feeling the ache already start to burn inside you. "Wait," you frowned. "Stay."

He gazed at you for a moment. You searched his face, but there was nothing. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, 0800." 

Then, he was gone. 

A/n: hey guys I hope you are all staying safe in these crazy times! I hope you are enjoying this fanfic so far, I know it's not like the other smut heavy five out there, but I want to try give this one a more 'realistic' feel to it if you know what I mean? Things will be dragged out in this book and I just hope you guys bare with me :) I promise things will start to heat up and more exciting things will happen. It just takes time. 

I love you all, and again, stay safe ❤️

-Hayley


	16. Chapter 15

Weeks had passed. Every day consisted of a few hours of flying the TIE fighter with Kylo, and then after that he took you back to his quarters, teaching you how to harness your powers properly. 

It was your daily routine, and it was starting to bore you. The training was starting to bore you. It was the same thing, over and over again. You and Kylo would constantly argue during training about how you were handling yourself and your own powers. Although you've already wielded it, Kylo hasn't allowed you to mess with his lightsaber for practice. 

"So what am I going to use then?" You crossed your arms and huffed. "I don't have a weapon." 

"That's because I don't trust you with one. Not yet." He glanced up at you as he wiped down his lightsaber with a rag, cleaning the hilt of any dust. 

You groan and roll your eyes. "You really think I'm going to kill you? After all this time?" You shifted on top of the desk, your legs dangling beneath you. 

"You're full of surprises," he shrugs before throwing the rag down onto the table beside you. "Soon, you'll make your own." 

You swallowed. "What? How?" 

"All in good time, Princess." He stood, attaching his lightsaber to his hip. "Now, stay here until I come and get you," He pressed a quick kiss to your lips before he walked out of the room, leaving you and his helmet behind. 

You were onboard the Finalizer heading to Takodana, in search of Rey and Luke; according to Kylo. You found it hard to believe Luke would be there. There had been word that Rey and many other Resistance fighters were there. Kylo doesn't really explain the missions, he just drags you along, not wanting to leave you back at StarKiller base. All you knew was that Kylo was taking this advantage to try and wipe out what ever Resistance was there. 

You found out that Jackson was dumped on some random deserted planet, practically unharmed which surprised you. You thought for sure Kylo would've killed him. But you were grateful he didn't. You still missed Jackson, but you were so invested into Kylo's way of life that you soon found yourself thinking like him. Helping him come up with plans for this mission, even. 

In between flying and training, you and Kylo found time to fuck. Every chance the two of you got, you didn't hesitate. You weren't complaining. 

But Kylo still seemed a little distant with you. It was almost as if he was trying to protect you or himself. You were sure it was because of Snoke. Kylo now knowing that his boss is your grandfather has made things a bit harder for the both of you. 

He still hasn't taken you to see Snoke. He's had a couple private meetings with him, thankfully coming back unharmed, maybe a little pissed off, but not physically hurt. You so desperately wanted to meet your grandfather. You don't remember what he looked like, what he sounded like. Would he remember you? 

"Princess," Kylo's familiar voice bounced off the walls of his quarters. "We're boarding the Command shuttle," he stood in the doorway, his dark eyes gazing over your body. You felt your cheeks heat and you rose to your feet, tidying your uniform. 

"How come I'm not flying the TIE fighter down?" You make your way over to him, only to stop inches away from him. 

"You're not ready," 

You rolled your eyes. "It's been weeks," you reached up and cupped your hands behind his head, having to rise on to your tip-toes to press a kiss to his lips. "Please?" You fluttered your eyelashes at him. 

He searched your face for a moment before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours once more. "Fine, but if you get shot down by an X-Wing," his hands found your ass, squeezing your flesh through your overalls. "I'll kill you," 

"Hm, I think that's a fair trade," you scoffed and walked passed him. 

Over the passed few weeks the two of you have found some sort of middle ground with each other. You were able to joke and make fun of one another, but only in private. When out in public or on duty, you didn't speak to him, and he didn't speak to you, unless it was something urgent.

The two of you made your way to the hangar, passing multiple other pilots and storm troopers. The familiar chaotic energy of the hangar resonated through your veins, the loud orders being barked from one crew member to another, the roar of TIE fighters coming and going filled your ears. 

General Hux stopped the two of you in your tracks. "We are ready to head down, Ren." He looked down to you. "Board the Command Shuttle, Prisoner." 

You glared at him and before you could say anything, Kylo intervened. "She's taking one of the TIE fighters down," 

Hux's face twisted as he let out an astonished laugh. "She's not ready," 

"If she thinks she is, then I believe her," Kylo's dark eyes gazed down at you for a moment, then back at Hux. "Tell Pryde to authorise an extra TIE fighter for her," 

You swallowed and felt your hands become a little clammy. Today was the day you would fly a TIE fighter on your own, and you were heading into battle. It was intimidating, knowing you could be heading into absolute chaos down on Takodana, knowing you're going to have to shoot down fellow Resistance pilots; possibly ones you had mentored all those months ago. 

Hux stared at the two of you for a moment before brushing passed you, heading up a staircase that lead into what looked like a seperate, private overlook of the hangar. 

"Kylo-"

"Commander," 

You swallowed. "Sorry," you turned to face him, having to crane your neck to peer up at his gorgeous face. "What if something happens?" 

"Then we'll deal with it," his brown eyes glinted underneath the LEDs. "Just," he glanced to the TIE fighter that had been unlatched from the wall. "Be careful." 

You nodded. You so desperately wanted to kiss him. But you knew it wasn't a wise choice. A tinge of worry started to swell in your chest. You weren't worried about you, you were worried about him. What would happen if something happened to him? What would happen to you then?

"You be careful," you mumbled before brushing passed him, if you stood there any longer you would've either attempted to kiss him or broke down in tears. Fear was starting to overwhelm you as you climbed into the TIE fighter, your hands beginning to shake as you flipped switches to start the engine. 

You watched from behind the glass as Kylo entered his Command Shuttle, soon followed by Hux. The ramp to the Command Shuttle closed, and the engines roared to life, before the shuttle rose and made its way out of the hangar. You pulled the lever to ascend from the wall, before following the shuttle out, along with another twenty or so TIE fighters. 

The green and blue planet inched closer and closer as the two squadrons of TIE fighters covered both sides of the Command Shuttle, protecting the Supreme Leader. As you entered the atmosphere, you could already feel the chaotic energy of the Resistance. As you closed into the coordinates, X-Wings circled the perimeter of a castle of some sort. 

A huge statue of an humanoid being was clearly visible, and many different coloured flags surrounded it. This place was beautiful. The greenery was something you had never seen before. The water was crystal clear and flowing around the castle like little rivers. 

Focus.

Kylo's voice inside your head made you jump. He was right. You were here to eliminate any Resistance that stood in his way. You could feel the blood pumping throughout Kylo's body. He was livid. 

You need to focus. Calm down. 

You communicated to him and received nothing back. Typical. As the Command Shuttle descended to the forest floor, the two squadrons of TIE fighters took off to where the X-Wings were circling. You lurched forward as you propelled the TIE fighter into battle. 

You could sense the uneasiness inside of Kylo. He was worried. He was worried about you. Your heart fluttered at the thought of him actually worrying about you. 

I'll be ok, promise.

It's like he can't concentrate when you're not around him. His mind was running wild. His walls were down, you could hear and see everything he was thinking. Rage still coursed through his body and it was starting to radiate through to you. 

The familiar roar of an X-Wing brought you back to reality, and you sent the TIE fighter somersaulting out of the way as it hurdled towards you. You rolled the fighter back on itself to fall in behind the X-Wing, before pressing the buttons to activate the turret. The green lasers shot from the fighter, penetrating the X-Wings engines. The Resistance's fighter soon plummeted to the forest floor, bursting into flames. 

You performed another lag roll to head back to where the other TIE fighters were, shooting at the countless other X-Wings circling the castle. 

They were protecting Rey. You could sense her. Sense the light illuminating off her. She wasn't alone. She was accompanied by another man. It wasn't Luke, Luke wasn't here. You knew he wouldn't be. But you could sense the small vibrations from him. He was also force sensitive, like you, but nowhere near as strong.

A hologram of Hux appeared beside your controls, the blue light buzzing and shifting as you manoeuvred the TIE fighter out of harms way. "Take down those X-Wings, and destroy everything." His annoying voice crackled through the speaker. 

You swallowed. "Yes, sir." 

As much as you hated taking direct orders from him, he was the one that allowed you to fill in as a pilot. He could've given it to anyone else, but he chose you instead. 

The little blue hologram dissipated as you flipped a switch to ready the turret once again. You had two X-Wings in your sights, and you trailed behind them, locking them in your sights before firing. More green lasers shot from your fighter, clipping the side of the closest X-Wing and disabling an engine on the other. 

You propelled the fighter forward again, still firing the laser cannons, eventually taking down the two X-Wings. They spun in the air as they hurdled to the crystal clear lake surrounding the castle. 

It was starting to become a lot easier to take them down. You found yourself disassociating from everything. Almost as if your were on autopilot yourself. You quickly glanced around, finding that the fighters in your squadron were under control. A couple had been shot down and were hurdling towards the castle. The fighters crashed into the side of the brick walls, exploding into flames and sending shrapnel into the air. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. 

Kylo, where are you?

He didn't respond. You let out a shaky breath and spotted a lone X-Wing heading towards the Command Shuttle. You ripped the controls towards you, sending the fighter back flipping on itself to fall in behind the X-Wing. You pushed the controls forward to speed up to be able to arm the laser cannons again. You held your breath before hitting the button on the control panel to fire. 

Destroy it. All of it. 

Kylo's voice inside your head was ragged, exhausted. 

Where are you?

You managed to take down the X-Wing before it could destroy the Command Shuttle, sending it diving through the dense canopy. 

Kylo's thoughts were wild. He was like a cornered, wild animal. Nowhere to go. Where was he? You didn't want to shoot aimlessly and possibly kill him. 

Hux reappeared, the hologram fizzling away at the controls. "Destroy the castle, then we're done here. There's word that there's plenty Resistance fighters inside." Without another word he was gone again. 

You swallowed, and found yourself hovering at the front of the castle. You were still. 

God damn it, Kylo where the fuck are you?!

You were silently screaming to him, all you could feel was pain emanating off him. He was hurt and he was trapped. You weren't sure by what. 

You clenched your jaw before locking the laser cannons onto the statue of the humanoid. In a matter of seconds, the familiar green lasers blasted from the tie fighter, sending rubble from the large statue erupting into the air around it. Your breathing was uneven as you circled the castle at speed, firing lasers into the sides of the walls and the castle itself. 

Rubble and dust exploded from the castle as the other TIE fighters began their attack on the castle as well. 

You could feel the panic inside of Kylo and it was killing you. 

An animalistic growl left your throat before you ripped the TIE fighter from the assault, deciding to land beside the Command Shuttle. 

You needed to find Kylo. That's all that was running through your mind. 

I'm coming. Where are you? 

You clambered out of the hatch of the fighter, jumping down and landing onto your feet. Your hair stuck to your face as sweat started to mist your skin. Your heart was threatening to break your ribcage as you began running into the castle, avoiding the lasers of the TIE fighters above. 

You had to climb over mounds of rubble in order to gain access inside the castle grounds. The pull to Kylo was getting stronger as your feet carried you through the grass, jumping over blockades formed by more concrete rubble. 

Princess.

His soft voice nearly broke you. You rounded a corner and found Kylo sitting against a concrete slab. Blood poured from his side and Rey stood in front of him, her blue lightsaber pointed at his chest. She was taunting him. 

You noticed Kylo's saber in the grass. He was too weak. You quietly made your way over to them, hand outstretched, silently calling the lightsaber. It flung into your grasp and you ignited it behind Rey, hanging the plasma blade over her shoulder. 

"Let him go," you couldn't hide the fact your voice was shaky. You were terrified. Kylo was dying before your eyes and Rey was taunting him. 

"You think you can just change sides?" She sneered, "you're pathetic," 

"I'm not going to ask again," you growled. "Let him go-"

"Or what?" Another presence was behind you, and another blue glow emitted over you shoulder. Fuck. It was the other man you felt when you first sensed them.

Rey spun on her heel to look at you. She was covered in sweat and soot from the explosions caused by the TIE fighters. Her dark hair stuck to her face. 

"What has he done to you?" She shook her head in bewilderment. "You were so good," 

You swallowed, lightsaber still raised. "Enough of this," your hand was starting to shake now. "He's done nothing to me, I've done this on my own." You hissed. You just wanted them gone so you could get to Kylo. "Let us go, please." You clenched your free hand beside you, the force slowly swirling in your fist. 

"You think after you've just killed our, no, your fellow Resistance fighters, we'll just let you go?" She laughed. She was cruel. 

Kylo coughed and you watched as blood dribbled down his chin. Your heart was in your throat, and a sob nearly left your chest. Out of pure rage, you smashed your palm into the grass, sending Rey and whoever the other man was behind you, flying through the air. You had never done that before, but you were glad it worked. The built up anger was enough to send them flying against what was left of the concrete walls. They were both unconscious. 

You took this time to rush over to Kylo, falling to your knees beside him. Rey had got him in his side with her saber. Blood coated your fingers as your pressed your hand to his wound. He hissed and tensed his jaw. Kylo has taught you how to heal, but nothing this bad, only little cuts and things like that. But you had to try-

"Don't," he shook his head and his gloved hand wrapped around your wrist. "Just help me back to the shuttle." His teeth were stained red with his own blood. He was pale and his hair stuck to his clammy face in clumps.

It broke your heart to see him like this. 

"I have to try-"

"No," he barked. "You're not strong enough yet," he tried to move but the pain was too much. It was starting to wear off on you. Your lip trembled and you wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You bent down to wrap your arm around his waist and you hoisted the two of you to your feet.

You slowly made your way through the grass and as you were about to exit, Rey's voice could be heard. She was groggy. "I'll kill the both of you," she struggled to sit up.

You glanced back at her. "Fuck you," was all you said as you guided Kylo through the rubble. He was heavy, and occasionally his legs would fail him and you had to catch him. His breathing was slowed and his eyes struggled to stay open. "Don't you fucking dare," you grumbled as you finally made it to the shuttle. 

Hux was waiting at the bottom of the ramp, and when he saw Kylo, his eyes widened. "What happened?" 

You brushed passed him, almost having to drag Kylo's heavy body up the ramp. "Rey," 

He huffed, "Again?" 

You clenched your jaw, but thought force choking him wasn the best option right now. All that mattered now was getting Kylo the help he needed. 

A nurse aboard the shuttle rushed toward you. "What happened?" She helped you settle Kylo onto the bed in the small med-bay. A groan left his throat as you laid him back. You just wanted to hold him, but he would kill you if you did, once he was able. 

"Lightsaber got him." You moved away to let her assess him. "Will he be ok?" You struggled to breathe. 

She cut away at his tunic, revealing the raw, oozing wound. "I'll just need to stop the bleeding and stitch him up. He should be fine." She muttered. You didn't want to leave him. But you had to fly the TIE fighter back. 

"Prisoner," Hux's tone was sharp. "I want you back in your TIE fighter. We're heading back". 

You swallowed and glanced at Kylo one last time, he was unconscious. His mind was blank, static, almost. 

"Yes sir," 

+++++

Since you landed in the hangar of the Finalizer, you couldn't get to Kylo. The nurse had transported him to the main med bay on the Finalizer. You killed the engine of the fighter and crew people latched it into the wall. 

You were ordered back to your allocated quarters by Hux. He wasn't happy you had left your position as a pilot, even though you saved the Supreme Leader. "Someone would've found him," was all he said as you tried to explain yourself. A million things were running through your mind as you sat on the shower floor in your quarters. 

The water was a mixture of brown and red as soot and blood was rinsed from your skin. You scrubbed at yourself, getting rid of Kylo's blood from your hands. 

He was so scared. Not of dying. But scared that he'd never see you again. And that broke you. The Supreme Leader, scared of not seeing you again made you feel a little uneasy. What did that mean?

You spent the time in your quarters, messing with objects, levitating them, spinning them around the room, trying to get your mind off Kylo. But nothing was working. You were worried sick. 

Normally you could handle being away from him, but with him injured, seeing him so vulnerable and scared, you wanted nothing more than to crawl into the hospital bed and cuddle up beside him. 

The door to your quarters slid open and you dropped the chair you were rotating in the air. It fell to the tiled floor with a loud clank and you found Lexa standing in the doorway, her eyes were wide. 

"Um, hi." She stuttered. 

She had been assigned to work on the Finalizer for our mission. 

"Hey," you glanced down before back up at her. 

"You can use the Force," it was more a question than a statement. "Can I come in?"

You nodded, trying to push the uneasy feeling to the bottom of your stomach. "How's the Supreme Leader?"

She closed the door behind her and sat down beside you. "He lost a fair amount of blood. We performed a blood transfusion and managed to stop the bleeding. His stitches should dissolve in a few weeks." 

You breathed a sigh of relief and swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat. 

"How long have you been using the Force? Why didn't you tell me?" She frowned. Scanning her mind, you saw she was a little hurt. 

"I just, haven't really seen you. I've been busy training and with flying the fighters now it's all got a bit chaotic." You gave her sad smile. "Sorry," You shrugged. 

She was quiet for a minute. "Can you like," she glanced around the room. "Show me how you do it?" She smiled. 

You swallowed and glanced around the room, trying to find something small to levitate. You chose the First Order emblem on the table. It was the first thing you managed to move with the Force on your own. You reached your hand out towards the emblem, and it soon started to float towards you. She grabbed it from the air and rotated it in her hand. 

"That's so fucking cool," she laughed, her gorgeous green eyes glinting underneath the LEDs. 

Princess. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. "Um, can I go see him?" You stood from the bed. "I-I can hear him." You tilted your head. 

"I guess so. He was in a mood when he woke up." She stood as well, placing the emblem back down onto the table. "Can I ask you something?" 

Swallowing, you gave her a small nod. 

"What's going on between you and him?" She folded her arms across her chest. 

Jesus Christ not now. 

"He's just helping me train," you shrugged. 

"But, I've heard you've been spending a lot of time in his quarters. I'm not judging." She shook her head. 

You swallowed.

Do you risk telling her? After all, she is one of your only friends you've made whilst serving the First Order. 

Don't you dare.

Kylo's threat was enough to keep your mouth shut. "No, it's nothing like that. He's just training me." You smiled as best you could as you lied straight to her pretty face. 

"Ok, he's fucking gorgeous though, isn't he?" She laughed. "Despite his temper." 

You laughed. "He is." 

+++++

"Hey, you." Lexa left you at the door to Kylo's private room. You shut the door behind you. "How are you feeling?" You stride over to him, being sure to check that there was nobody peeking into the room. 

"Better, now that you're here." His voice was groggy. He was shirtless, a thick bandage was stuck to his side, and blood had already soiled it. He was bruised and had multiple other cuts and fresh scars that littered his chest. His chest rose with a heavy breath as he tried to move over in the bed, but he simply couldn't. He was in too much pain. 

"Stop moving," you shook your head and sat at the end of his bed, glancing at the catheter lodged into his hand, supplying him with much needed fluids. "You look like shit." 

"I could kill you." His dark irises searched your face, his mouth parted slightly. 

You frowned. "For what?" You rolled your eyes. "Saving your life?" 

"You should've left me there," he laid his head back onto the bed, a strangled groan leaving his throat. 

"And leave you there to die?" You crawled closer to him, your face only inches from him. "You're delusional." 

His hand reached up and wrapped around the back of your neck, forcing your lips to his. A soft groan left his chest as his lips moved against yours, his tongue slipping passed your teeth. Your hands found the sides of his face, your fingers twisting through his hair. It was still matted and sticky with soot and sweat. 

"Thank you," his voice was soft against your lips before he kissed you again. 

"Hm," you pulled away and licked your lips. "The Supreme Leader really is delusional." You giggled. You were sitting on his lap now, being sure not to hurt him. 

You run your hands down his chest, your nails grazing over his dirty, pale skin. His breath caught in his throat and his golden brown irises found yours. "Don't," his hand grasped your thigh. Pain still coursed through his veins, his wound was throbbing. 

"Let me help you," you whispered, nibbling on his ear. 

"You could hurt yourself-"

"I don't care, Kylo," you pulled back and placed your hand over his bandage. "At least let me take some of your pain away," you licked your lips and shut your eyes, focussing all of your energy, feeling the throbbing and burning sensation Kylo was feeling soon dissolved into the palm of your hand. Pain shot up your arm and ran through your body, soon situating at your side where he was injured. A small gasp left your throat as you pulled your hand away. 

Kylo's hands found your waist, his back still flush with the sheets of his hospital bed. You leaned down again and pressed another soft kiss to his lips. "You need rest," 

"I need to get out of here," he shifted beneath you. 

"They need to keep you here to make sure everything heals as it should," you pressed a wet kiss to his neck and Kylo let out a breath he had been holding through his nose. A smile touched your lips and you took the delicate skin between your teeth, sucking a small red mark into his pale flesh. 

You'd be wrong to think Kylo's squirming and moaning didn't turn you on. He was growing hard underneath you. Was it so wrong to fuck him whilst in his hospital bed? Probably. 

You climbed off him and stood beside his bed, trying to ignore the dull ache between your legs. "I'll come see you tomorrow," you smiled, pressing another kiss to his cheek. 

Frustration bubbled inside of him and a small smirk touched your lips. "Sorry, Commander." You giggled before leaving his room to head back to your quarters. 

At least you know he is ok. 

You might be able to get some sleep tonight.


	17. Chapter 16

Warning: this chapter will be pretty smut heavy and will contain some blood play, so if you're not into that, please don't read. But I know most of us rats aren't phased by much 💀

"She is strong with the Force, Leia," Rey dabbed an alcohol swab at her wounds. "Kylo, on the other hand, he's weak." 

Luke shifted at the table. "I've felt it too, there's been a shift in him." He scratched his untamed beard, gazing at Leia, who had been silent the whole meeting. "It has to do with that girl." 

Rey stood and threw the bloody swab into a small bin. "It's almost as if she's sucking the life out of him," 

"No," Leia shook her head. "He's finding himself again," she swallowed. "It's like she's sucked the darkness out of him, and now it's inside her." 

There was no doubt Kylo Ren was still a mass murderer. He would obliterate a town of children if it meant he was any closer to dominating the galaxy and bringing down the Resistance. But there had been a shift inside him, although small, it was noticeable, especially to his mother. 

"Her strength is unbelievable," Rey shook her head. "Not knowing how to harness her powers properly makes her all the more dangerous." 

Luke shook his head. "Ben has been training her. She knows what she's doing. Her strength comes from Snoke." 

"Her strength comes from him as well," Leia's hand trembled. "That girl, she didn't listen to me." 

Her mind wandered to when you had left the Tantive IV, how she told you to stay away from Kylo Ren as best you could. But that didn't happen. 

"This could be an advantage to us, Leia," Rey paced back and forth, rotating the hilt of her saber in her hand. "If there's a shift in Ben, we could take him down-"

"That's going to be hard with her standing in our way," Finn sat down, lazily leaning back and resting his feet on the table. "She's like a wild animal when it comes to him," 

Leia swallowed. "I can feel their connection. It's strong." She closed her eyes. "They're in love and they don't even know it yet." She shook her head again. 

"I'm going to kill her," Rey hissed as she ignited her saber, still twisting and rotating it in the air. "Then I'm going to kill him. With her gone, he'll be so weak." 

"You keep forgetting you're talking about her son," Luke raised an eyebrow. "And my nephew." 

She rolled her eyes for a brief second. "You know you can't turn him. I've already tried that, and he nearly killed me." She sat down, disarming Anikan's lightsaber. 

"I know what my son has done," Leia's eyes watered. "And we cant take any of it back. It won't bring Han back. But we can only try." 

"Try what, Leia? He's a lost cause." 

Leia glanced around the room, her tired eyes falling onto Rey, one last time. 

"Try again." 

+++++ 

"Get off me," 

"No, not until you eat something," you huffed, straddling Kylo's lap and holding half a sandwich under his nose. You had been butting heads with him ever since he was discharged from the med-bay an hour ago. He had been in there for a few days.

You were still onboard the Finalizer, apparently the First Order still had some unfinished business. They were heading to some other unsuspecting planet. You didn't pay attention to Hux's rambling at a meeting. All you knew was they were going to obliterate it. 

"I told you what I wanted to eat," he smacked the sandwich from your hand and crossed his arms, but you were quick to catch it with the Force. The sandwich hovered above the bed, little crumbs falling onto the bedsheets. 

You rolled your eyes. "Can you not be a child for five fucking minutes? You need to eat something with some nutritional value." 

"You are more than enough," 

"Kylo!" You groaned, trying to bite back a laugh, but you failed miserably. "I'm serious. You're looking sickly," 

Kylo had slowly regained most of his strength, you could feel it buzzing through his veins and it was radiating through you, too. His skin was still dirty with muck and blood from his other minor wounds. You were surprised none of the nurses attempted to clean him. But you knew with the temper Kylo possessed, it was probably best they didn't. And besides, you'd hate to have someone else's hands on him that weren't yours.

You grasped the sandwich from the air and brought it back to him. "I'll give you one last chance. Eat." You frowned at him, but the playful look in his eyes didn't subside. You knew how to fix that. 

You rolled your eyes and waved your hand over his face. "You will eat this fucking sandwich." You demanded, and Kylo's body tensed beneath you. 

"I will eat this fucking sandwich." He took it from your hand and stared at it for a moment.

Right before he threw it at you. 

"You really think that'll work on me, Princess?" He smirked. 

You groaned and climbed off him. "Eat the damn sandwich Kylo, then you can do what ever you want." As soon as those words left your throat, you began to regret them. 

"Hm, fine," you could hear the smile in Kylo's voice as you turned your back to him to walk over to the kitchen. 

You watched as he finished the sandwich in two bites. You swallowed and opened the pantry, using the Force to bring the bottle of whisky down from the top shelf. "Do you want one?" You grasped the bottle and got out two glasses because you knew he wouldn't say no. 

"Sure," he stood and made his way over to the kitchen, his amber eyes roaming your body. You were only in one of his undershirts and underwear. You poured the liquor into the glasses before sending the bottle floating back into the pantry. "You're getting good at that," he lifted his chin to you as he took a swig of his drink. 

"I guess you could say that," you shrugged, leaning against the bench and taking a swig of whisky, it burnt your throat as it made its way to your stomach. Your eyes glanced at his bare chest. "You need a shower, your filthy." 

"Oh, I know." He hummed as he rounded the bench to stand in front of you. Your breath hitched in your throat as he lifted you onto the bench, the cool granite sending goosebumps running down your exposed legs. You placed your glass down beside you before gazing up at those gorgeous eyes. 

You often found yourself lost in them. His golden brown irises would sparkle when he smiled, and it made your insides melt.

Kylo's fingers brushed the stray strands of hair behind your ear before he cupped your face in his hands. Your heart fluttered in your chest as a small smile touched his lips. It had only been recently where he would actually smile, and you couldn't get enough of it. 

"You're incredible," he shook his head and brushed your cheek with his thumb. 

You smiled and rested your hands on his waist, being careful to stay clear of his stitches. His muscles rippled underneath his pale, dirty skin as he stepped closer towards you. "You're pretty cool too, I guess," you giggled, and you hated yourself for it. You were like a child when it come to Kylo. 

His lips crashed to yours, a soft groan leaving his throat as he held you still and claimed your mouth with his. You closed your eyes and kissed him back, a whimper leaving your throat as his tongue skimmed over your bottom lip. You opened your mouth and squeezed the taut flesh at his waist, his tongue lapping over your own. 

Your heart fluttered in your chest once again as you felt him smile against your lips. He pulled away, his soiled hair fell over his eyes in dark curtains, his lips were wet and swollen as he gasped for air. 

He was so beautiful.

"Come shower with me," 

The words come down on you like a tonne of bricks. 

Sure, you have seen each other naked when you had sex, but for some stupid reason the thought of showering with him made you feel a little vulnerable. And you didn't know why. 

Perhaps it was the anticipation of what was to come after the shower. Or during. He was full of surprises. But it still made you a little nervy. 

"Come," he stepped away from the bench and held out his hand. You hesitated for a moment before grasping it and jumping down from the bench. 

You padded behind him to the bathroom, the cold tiles sending chills up your spine. He shut the door behind him and reached into the shower to turn the water on. He was quick to undress his lower half before stepping into the hot water. The groan that left his throat shouldn't have turned you on, but it did. 

You swallowed as your peered at his large frame hunched over as he pressed his palms to the wall, letting the hot water run down his back. You slowly pulled his shirt off of your small frame and stepped out of your underwear before stepping into the shower with him. You stood behind him and wrapped your arms around his abdomen, leaning your head and chest against his back. 

A smile touched your lips as you shut your eyes. You were grateful he was still here. You would be lost if he had of died back on Takodana. You were thankful you managed to find him in time and that Rey hadn't killed him. You needed him more than you realised. You needed him to guide you in your training and helping you understand the Darkside. But you also needed him as a companion. You knew your connection with him was greater than what the two of you made it out to be. 

Kylo turned in your grip and wrapped his arms around you, his lower half pressing into your own. You bit your lip and brushed passed him to grab the bottle of shampoo. "Come here," you squeezed the goo into your hands, the smell of various fruits filling your nostrils. Kylo stepped towards you and bowed his head slightly so you could reach the top of his head. You raked your fingers through his hair, lathering his hair with white suds. Bubbles ran over the taut muscles of his shoulders and chest, leaving streaks down his dirty skin. 

You gently pulled his hair and another groan left his throat. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," his voice was low, predatory like. 

You brushed your fingers over his ears and pushed the hair from his face. "Or what?" You smirked. 

"You won't be walking out of here, that's for sure." 

You rolled your eyes and nudged him back into the spray of the water. Soap cascaded down his muscly body, pooling at your feet. His eyes closed and he leant his head back to get rid of the rest of the shampoo. 

You found yourself staring again. 

He looked so powerful and so fucking delectable.

With his head leant back, his muscles in his torso flexed as he steadied himself. Although his cock was still soft, you knew it wouldn't take much to make him hard. Even soft, he looked huge. 

"Stop staring, Princess." 

You jumped and felt your cheeks heat with embarrassment. "Just admiring what's mine," 

"Is that so?" He tilted his head. 

You swallowed and stepped past him again to grab the loofa and soap. "Yeah, it is." You lathered the black loofa with white bubbles before pressing it to his chest. "Is that a problem?" You gazed up at him, your eyes never leaving his as you rubbed small circles against his skin, ridding him of muck and dry blood. Dirty water pooled at his feet and soon his chest was the usual pale colour that you'd grown to love. 

"Foolish of you to think I'm yours." He smirked. 

You stopped. "Sorry, you belong to Hux don't you?" You rolled your eyes. "You two would make quite the couple I reckon." You laughed. 

"I'd rather kill my father, three times over, than ever think of that." 

You froze. "Kylo that's fucked up." 

"I know." He gazed at you for a moment, his face remained still, until his lips turned to a thin line as he tried to hold back a laugh, but he failed.

Your mouth fell open. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" You struggled to compose yourself and before you could stop yourself, a laugh left you as well.

The two of you shared the same sick and twisted dark humour, and you loved it. 

You dragged the loofa over his abdomen, carefully dabbing around his stitches that were still a little raw and swollen. He winced slightly and you pulled away. "Sorry," you bit your lip and continued to clean his upper torso. "Spin around," you jerked your chin to the side. 

He sighed. "I can do this myself, I'm not a child." He huffed as he turned his back to you, allowing you to run the soap over the slab of muscle. 

"After your little performance earlier, I think it's safe to say, you still are a child." You run your fingertip over the scars that littered his back, drawing little patterns in the lather of soap. 

"What ever," he scoffed and turned to face you again, he had shampoo in his hands and he ran them through your hair, this time. You watched his face twitch in concentration as he lathered the fruity shampoo through your hair. "Turn around so I can do this properly." 

You did as you were told, but you stepped back into him, pressing your ass against him. A small smile touched your lips as you felt him tense behind you. Before you could take another breath, Kylo shoved your chest against the cold tiles, pulling back on your soapy hair. "Behave."

A groan left your throat. "Make me," you didn't know what had got into you, but you seemed to be digging your own grave at this point. 

Kylo growled behind you and sunk his teeth into the delicate flesh on your shoulder. "You'll regret that," 

"Will I?" A smile touched your lips as a ridiculous thought crept into your mind. You quickly shut your mind off from his, not allowing him the chance to catch on what you were thinking about. 

"Yes," 

You pushed yourself off of the wall and turned to face him after he let go of your hair. "I don't think I will," you smirked as your circled him to sit on the small bench in the shower. Kylo turned to face you, his cock was starting to harden. 

"What are you doing?" His brows knit together and you reached towards him, he thought you were trying to touch him, but instead you held him still with the Force. You were good at this now, although Kylo was stronger than you, you were able to hold him in place for a long period of time. And it infuriated him. 

"You're gonna watch me cum," you smiled. Earlier you felt nauseous about showering with him, and now that seems to have been flung out the window and you were about to pleasure yourself in front of him. 

"You're a bitch," he growled and tried to lurch forward, but you sent him stumbling back into the wall. 

"Tell me something I don't know," you smiled innocently as your traced your fingers down your belly towards your sex. Kylo's breath was ragged, his chest was beginning to heave in his efforts to control his breathing. "What's that matter, Commander?" You tilted your head as you slipped a finger between your folds. You were already so wet just from looking at him. 

"Let me go," he hissed, his fists clenching at his sides. 

You laughed lightly. You knew once you let him go, he would be on you. So you didn't. You observed the pale mass of muscle in front of you, his chest rising and falling, his forearms flexing as he clenched his fists. And you watched as his cock slowly grew harder and harder. You could feel the anger vibrating off him, and it only spurred you on. 

"Kylo," you rolled your head against the cool tile as you rubbed small circles over your clit. "Fuck," 

"Stop it," 

You glanced at him, your mouth parted slightly. "Or what?" 

He growled again and threw his head back in frustration. "I'm going to fucking ruin you," his breath caught in his throat. 

You whimpered as warmth started to ooze throughout your lower half. "I'd like to see you try, Kylo." You moaned, a little louder than you were hoping, but you went along with it as you watched his cock twitch between his legs. "Tell me what you're gonna do to me," 

"I-" he trailed off, his dark, hungry eyes fixated on your fingers working at your cunt. "I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk," 

You scoffed. "Oh c'mon, Commander, don't be boring," you couldn't believe the bullshit falling from your lips. Your legs quivered as you slowly inched closer to your orgasm. "Tell me what you'll do to me," 

"Keep going and I'll have all your holes leaking with my cum," it was a warning. 

You bit your lip as you watched the tiny beads of pre-cum leak from his tip. He was so hard you could feel the ache of his denied pleasure radiating off him. And you loved it. 

"Fuck, Kylo, I'm going to cum," you shut your eyes and rolled your head back against the tiles, your mouth parting as breathless moans left your throat. A few more strokes of your fingers and you came undone before him, your body jolting as pleasure ripped through you, warmth searing through your veins. "Oh, fuck," your lip trembled as you slowly came down from your high, and Kylo stood before you, painfully hard and aching to have you. 

Being with Kylo has definitely changed you. You would never imagine being this open and dirty with another man. The thought of pleasuring yourself in front of another man, making him watch, made you uneasy, but with Kylo, it was easy. Anything you did in his presence was easy. 

You rose from the small bench and dropped to your knees in front of Kylo, finally allowing him to move and removing the Force hold from him. 

"Tell me what you want," you fluttered your lashes at him, water still cascading down onto your bodies, your own still buzzing with the aftermath of your orgasm. Kylo's hands grasped the sides of your head, his grip tight enough that your temples started to ache. 

"You filthy slut," he hissed, "you know what I want." 

You pulled back. "Hm, I don't think I do," you run a finger tip up the underside of his cock. It was so hot and needy, it wouldn't take much to make him cum, but you loved teasing him. 

"Open your mouth," 

"Hm, no-"

His palm smacked across your cheek with enough force to whip your head to the side. Your cheek stung and you felt the red welt begin to rise from the impact. Although it hurt, you found yourself growing more aroused. 

"Open. Your. Mouth." He growled his grip nearly crushing your skull as he brought his cock towards your lips. "Now." 

You gazed up at him and finally gave in, and he was quick to thrust into your mouth, not giving you the chance to adjust to the intrusion in your throat. A sharp gag left your throat but he only pushed deeper and fisted your hair to hold you there. 

"I'll fix that fucking mouth," he hissed as you hollowed your cheeks to suck back on his cock, gliding your tongue along the familiar rigid veins on the underside of his length. A low groan vibrated from his chest and he rolled his head back. "This is the only thing that mouth is good for," 

Your brows knit together and you grazed your teeth over the head of his cock, it only earned you another slap to the face, this time the opposite cheek. A moan left your throat but Kylo was quick to silence you by pushing deeper into your throat. 

"Fu-uck," his breathing was ragged and his thrusts started to become sloppy. Saliva and pre-cum dribbled down your chin as you pulled free of him. "Uh-uh," he fisted your hair again. "Open your mouth," 

Whining from the dull ache that accumulated at your jaw, you did as you were told. Kylo grasped your jaw with his hand before he spat inside your mouth, then slid his dick back into your mouth. "Your going to swallow all of it, whore." He growled through bared teeth. 

You moaned again in response, your cunt was screaming for him now. You needed him. 

Kylo jerked inside your mouth once more and you felt him tense as hot spurts of cum hit the back of your throat, the salty mixture of his semen and both of your saliva leaving a tangy taste on your tongue. Kylo withdrew from your mouth, his cock slick with cum and saliva as you swallowed, gasping for air. 

"Fuck-" Kylo shut off the water and scooped you up in his arms, quickly taking the both of you to his bed. The both of you were still wet from the shower and the sheets dampened beneath you as he shoved you down onto the bed. "Kylo-"

"We're not done yet," his voice was thick and it only made your sex clench for him, begging to be split open by him. You were on your hands and knees in front of him, chewing nervously on the inside of your cheek. He pulled you towards the edge of the bed before he sunk into you, he had just cum only moments ago and he was still painfully hard. His cock split you open and you leant down, your chest pressed into the sheets and your back arched, allowing him to hold onto you. 

You whimpered when he pulled out, only to slam himself back inside of you, his skin hot against yours. A groan left his throat as he leant over the top of you. "You're mine, just remember that," he growled, sinking his teeth into your shoulder blade. He thrusted his hips again, his cock ramming your cervix. "All mine." He grunted. 

Your mouth fell open, you tried to moan, but nothing came out as he rammed his hips against yours, his cock hitting every ache buried inside your cunt. "Fuck, Kylo," you gasped, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your cunt clenching around him as he slowly brought you close to your orgasm. You were amazed he was capable of making you cum by penetration alone.

"No, you don't get to cum, not yet." His hand wrapped around your throat, pulling you up so that your back was against his chest. A gasp left your throat as he continued thrusting into you relentlessly. You reached behind you, grasping onto his waist to steady yourself as your legs started to weaken underneath you. "You're all talk aren't you?" He growled against your ear. "You struggle to take my cock, don't you?" 

You managed to spit out a few words after another moan left your throat. "You're not as big as you think you are," a smirk touched your lips, but it soon fell when Kylo's thrusts stopped. 

Now you had really fucked up. 

"Is that so?" His hand left your throat and he squeezed your breast, hard. You yelped at the pain and he shoved you back down again, before he slid inside you again. You were lying, he was so big that it hurt, but the pain moulded into pleasure. You were expecting him to do something drastic and you were surprised when he started to thrust into you slowly, but he was so deep it made your belly ache. 

That was until he spat into the crevice between the both of you. You shuddered when the saliva ran down your ass, then down your sex. Kylo's hand grasped your ass, and you felt his thumb inch closer to what definitely wasn't your cunt. 

"Relax," his voice was soft, but he was being stern with you. 

You bit your lip and shut your eyes as he slowly pushed inside of you, completely filling you. A groan left your throat and your hands fisted the bedsheets beside your head. "Kylo, fuck," sweat had replaced the water from your shower on your brow and your legs continued to shake underneath you. 

"That's it," he groaned. "Good girl." He pumped both his thumb and cock into you, and it was driving you fucking insane. 

You needed to cum, desperately.

"I told you I was going to have you dripping in cum, didn't I?" His dark voice was raspy, he was close to cunning again. 

You only moaned in response, but that wasn't enough for him. "Didn't I?" He asked again, his free hand grasping your ass, his fingers surely leaving bruises. 

"Fuck, yes Kylo." You hissed, you so desperately needed to cum. "Let me cum," 

"I don't think I will," he growled as his hips faulted once again, and you felt the familiar spurts inside you as Kylo came, again, an animalistic groan leaving his throat. 

Lucky bastard. 

"Kylo, please," 

"Maybe, once I'm finished." 

Once he's finished?

Your heart sunk as Kylo slipped out of you, your brooding orgasm slowly dissipating into nothing. "Please," was all you could say until he was inside you, again, but it wasn't your cunt. 

He slipped into you with ease, but pain ripped through your lower half. Tears pricked your eyes and you bit down on Kylo's bed sheets that were saturated with water and sweat. 

"So tight, Princess." He hissed. 

Surely this was all too much for him? It was nearly too much for you, and you hadn't even been allowed to cum yet. 

He was slow, precise with his thrusts, and he was deep. 

"Kylo," you reached between your legs to find your clit, but he was quick to pin your hand down with the Force. "Kylo!" You shrieked, you were growing frustrated now. But frustration soon turned to pleasure as the familiar vibration of Kylo using the Force to assault your clit. 

"Cum for me," you were used to Kylo's various growls and his thick voice, but there was something else about his voice now. You couldn't pick it. He was dominating you, ruining you, but his voice was sincere. You heard his breath catch in his throat again, and he came inside you, again. And it was enough to send you over the edge, your body jolted once more as your intense orgasm ripped through your body, your legs nearly giving out underneath you. 

"Fuck-" he sounded frustrated and he slipped out of you, a gasp leaving your throat as you felt completely empty, apart from his and your own cum pooling at your entrances and dripping down your thighs. 

You trembled for a moment before finding the courage to turn your head to look at him. He had popped some of his stitches and blood trickled down his side. You were worried at first but you soon buried that to the pit of your stomach. 

You knew how fucked up he was. He would enjoy what you were about to do. 

You turned to face him, your body aching from being mercilessly fucked and only just being allowed to cum. You reached forward, brushing your fingers through the crimson liquid that oozed from his wound. 

"What are you-"

You brought your fingers to your mouth, the metallic taste of blood filling your mouth. You gazed up at him, his irises were black with lust, and his eyes widened as he watched you suck his own blood off your fingers. 

You hummed at the taste and brought yourself onto your knees, taking his face in your hands and pressing your lips to his, swiping your tongue over his own. A groan left his throat and he kissed you back. You pulled him down onto the bed, clambering on top of him to straddle his muscular thigh, before you run your fingers through his blood once again. 

"You're all mine, Ren," you kept your voice low as you leant forward, cupping his face with the hand you had just used to wipe his own blood. His pale face was soon smeared with a bloody handprint, and a devilish smile crept onto your lips before you kissed him once more. His thigh was growing slick with both of your cum that leaked from you. 

He had fucked you into his own exhaustion, his broad chest heaved as he caught his breath from not only fucking you, but from the pain that his new wound was causing him. 

Your name fell from his lips and it warmed your insides. His voice was soft, caring, considering he had just fucked you into oblivion. "You're incredible." 

You smiled, your breath coming in little pants as you tried to catch your breath.

"Looks like you need some new stitches."


	18. Chapter 17

You thought it'd be a good idea to shower again after Kylo left his quarters to head to the med-bay to get his stitches fixed up. Your whole body ached and you struggled to sit down. Bruises littered your body from where Kylo had claimed you, and your heart fluttered at the thought of what happened only hours ago. 

You changed back into your usual First Order overalls because you thought if for whatever reason Hux were to come in, seeing you in Kylo's shirt wouldn't be a good look. You fixed your hair, tying it up into a high pony tail. You gazed at your reflection in the mirror. You looked alive. Back home you always looked tired, dull even. But here, you're thriving. Perhaps it was because you were getting thoroughly fucked by the Supreme Leader, but it felt so much more than that. 

You could find yourself falling in love with him. 

In fact, you already have. 

You didn't know how he would react if you told him, and it terrified you. If you poured your heart out to him and he turned you away for loving him, it would crush you. 

You didn't want him to know, but at the same time your heart ached at the thought of never telling him how you really felt about him. 

You heard the sound of Kylo's blast doors opening and you froze, not knowing who had just entered. 

Thankfully it was Kylo. 

He stood at the bathroom entrance, gazing down at you. Worry was slapped across his face and your stomach dropped. 

"What's the matter?" You frowned. You were screaming to yourself, hoping he hadn't heard your thoughts as he entered. 

"Snoke wants to see us." He was dressed in his usual tunic and leather trousers, boots wrapped around his calves. You shook your head and finally took in what he said. 

"Us?" Your heart started to wrack your ribcage. 

"Yes," he swallowed and looked down for a moment. "Immediately." 

Your mind started to run wild, had you done something wrong? Had Kylo done something wrong? Does Snoke know that the two of you have been intimate? 

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

Today's the day you were going to see your grandfather, and you didn't know if you were excited or terrified. 

+++++

The ride in Kylo's TIE Silencer was silent. You were surprised it could carry two passengers. Kylo's dark eyes were filled with worry as he navigated through a small cluster of asteroids between the Finalizer and the Supremacy. 

The Supremacy was huge. The wingspan of the ship stretched for kilometres, massive ion cannons and turbo blasters littered the ship. It looked menacing. 

Kylo landed his Silencer inside the hangar, and you were amazed to see another two Star Destroyers inside the Supremacy's hangar. 

That just goes to show how big the fucking ship was. 

You and Kylo exited the Silencer, and you followed quietly behind him. 

The hangar was full of rows of Stormtroopers. The sea of white armour was blinding underneath the LEDS of the ship. The walls consisted of black metal, white and red lighting stripped throughout the harsh material. The tiles were the same polished black that were on the Finalizer. 

Nobody inside the hangar gave you a second glance, they barely even acknowledged Kylo, which you thought was strange. You were surprised Kylo wasn't wearing his helmet, but at the same time, you were relieved he wasn't. You knew once that helmet was on his shoulders, you didn't exist to him.

He lead you through a few baron hallways, multiple crew people marching passed the both of you, not giving you a second glance. 

You swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat for the fourth time. It just kept coming back and the uneasy aura radiating off Kylo wasn't helping. He hadn't said a word to you since the two of you climbed into his silencer. 

Kylo stopped and pressed a button outside of a black blast door. In a matter of moments, the door opened and Kylo nudged you into the elevator. The walls were blinding white, and more black metal created patterns along the walls. Kylo pressed another button and the door shut before you felt the elevator jerk to life and start to ascend. 

Kylo still said nothing. 

He didn't even look at you. He stood against the wall, staring at the wall opposite him. Although his face was set in a cold stare, his amber eyes showed so much more. He was scared. 

You swallowed and stepped towards him. "Hey," your voice was soft as you reached for his gloved hand. The knot in his throat bobbed as he swallowed before he looked down at you, his eyes darting across your face. "Talk to me." You squeezed his hand. 

"You need to let go," he pulled his hand away just in time as the blast door slid open, revealing a large room. The walls were a deep red, and the floor, the same black polished tiles. 

Kylo urged you out of the elevator and you spotted eight or so guards all dressed in red. Then you spotted him. 

The pull to him was nearly unbearable. Your grandfather sat at his throne, dressed in a brassy robe. The throne was large and matte black in colour, and a platform surrounded it. 

"Ah," his voice boomed off the walls. "My sweet, sweet granddaughter." 

The familiarity of his voice made your body shudder. 

Kylo lead you closer to your grandfather's throne, before he dropped to his knee beside you. You swallowed and did the same, figuring it was probably best you gave him the respect he probably expected from you.

"Grandfather," your voice was shaky and you quickly glanced at Kylo beside you. His eyes were fixated on the tiles beneath him. 

"Come closer, child. My own granddaughter does not need to bow before me." The raspiness in his voice prickled the hairs on your skin. 

You swallowed and rose to your feet once again, before slowly walking towards him. You could see him a lot clearer now, and you were taken back by his appearance. His skin was wrinkled, but a deep scar on his cheek and forehead deformed his face. He looked more humanoid than anything. 

"You've grown up." He smiled, but it made you feel uneasy, not the usual warm fuzzy feeling you'd expect to have when you saw a family member smile at you. "Thankfully, you're nothing like your father." He laughed, but it was more a wheeze. 

Your jaw tensed at the thought of your parents. You missed them. You and your father were close, and Kylo had taken that away from you when he killed them in the hangar. 

You weren't sure what you were supposed to say to your grandfather, so you remained quiet. 

"I can feel your strength, my dear. You are so much stronger than my apprentice." His blue eyes glanced down at Kylo, the look of disappointment plastered on his deformed face. You felt your heart ache for a second. "He is weak, unlike you. You, my dear, are something else." He rose to his feet and took a step towards you. 

You wanted to reach out to Kylo, try and see if anything was there, but he had shut his mind off, completely. 

"He's taught me everything I know," your voice was tight as you attempted to defend him. "Without him I wouldn't know how to use my powers." 

Snoke smiled again, and reached his hand out to cup your face. His hands were abnormally large, and large dagger-like nails protruded from his fingertips. He was intimidating, you admitted to yourself. But surely he wouldn't hurt his own granddaughter, right? 

"Yes, I'm aware. I ordered him to train you." His thumb brushed your cheek. You felt a sliver of angst radiate off Kylo. "He's at least done one thing right." 

You swallowed and squirmed in his grip. "What did you want to see us for?" That was probably a poor way of speaking to him. 

He retracted his hand and smiled. "I just wanted to see you, my granddaughter. It's been years. And I wanted to see how your training was progressing." 

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. You couldn't read your grandfather, and he was starting to make you feel uneasy. 

"What do you want me to do?" Your voice cracked.

Snoke sat back down, leaning to one side and tapping his nails on the arm of his throne. He glanced at Kylo then back to you, a smile creeping onto his face. 

"I want you to kill him," 

Your heart faulted in your chest and your breath caught in your throat. Your blood turned to ice, you felt sick. Everything felt like it was crashing down on top of you. 

"I-" you glanced back at Kylo, his dark eyes were on you, his brows furrowed in disbelief at your grandfather's order. He not only looked absolutely terrified, but he was angry. The hum of his rage pulsed through you. "I can't do that, grandfather." 

Snoke's brow raised. "And why not?" He reached his hand out and you watched as Kylo's lightsaber came in contact with his palm. 

"M-my training isn't complete." 

"I'll finish your training. Kill him. Prove to me that you're worthy. Prove to me that you're stronger than he could ever be." He held out the hilt of Kylo's lightsaber. With a shaky hand, you took it from him, grasping the cool metal in your palm. 

"Grandfather I-" you were lost for words. 

You couldn't see how you could get out of this. Eight guards circled you and Kylo, leaving no escape. You were suffocating. You were going to have to murder the man you loved, and you hadn't even told him.

He doesn't even know that you love him. 

"That's an order," Snoke growled. His guards took another looming step, closing the both of you in. 

Get it over with.

You spun to face Kylo, tears already starting to roll down your cheek. You couldn't breathe. Your lips were parted, you were in shock, and you didn't know how you could kill him. He didn't look at you as you approached and you were glad he didn't, because meeting his eyes would've broke your heart. 

You stood in front of him, the hilt of the saber in hand. Your white knuckle grip was starting to hurt your wrist. It was still retracted, and you didn't think you could bring yourself to ignite it. 

"Kill him, girl. Plunge the saber through his skull. You'd be doing him a favour." He laughed. 

Your breath stuttered in your chest and you bit back a sob. You didn't want Snoke to know you had feelings for him, but you were failing miserably.

"Kylo," you whimpered, tears blurring your vision. The hilt felt abnormally heavy in your hand as you raised it to his forehead. Bile was rising in your throat, and you swallowed it back down, you felt like you could vomit or pass out any minute.

Kylo leant forward, pressing his forehead to the hilt of the saber, before his amber eyes met yours. You stopped breathing and you nearly dropped the saber at your feet. A sob left your throat and you shut your eyes. 

"Oh, Princess," Snoke snickered. "You still have a lot to learn." 

Your body went rigid, hearing the pet name Kylo always called you hit a nerve inside you. You turned cold. The guards took another step, leaving just meters between you and them. 

"That's enough," another wheeze left his throat. "But it's good to see you have the potential. Besides, there's still use for him." 

You caught yourself from collapsing as relief rushed through your body. You hadn't realised your thumb was hovering over the button to ignite the saber. Another shaky breath left your chest and you dropped the saber at Kylo's feet, the metal clanking against the black tiles. You were trembling all over. 

You couldn't believe that your grandfather was playing mind games with you. 

You were inches away from plunging the saber through Kylo's head, and he changed his mind in a matter of seconds. You noticed the sweat misting Kylo's brow, his hair beginning to stick to his pale skin. 

"In fact, I can see the two of you working well together to lead the First Order." Snoke's nails tapped the metal arm of the throne once more. 

You spun to face him, eyes still puffy from the tears that still slowly continued to fall. 

"You need to learn detachment, my girl. When you finally found yourself in the darkness, I could still feel the conflict inside you. I could sense the longing you had for your parents. But they're dead, thanks to my apprentice. Your parents were weak. Your father had the chance of serving the First Order, but he chose to run from it. He found your mother and joined the Resistance." Snoke shook his head before gazing back up to you, his eyes darting across your face. "You need to be more like my apprentice, no hesitation. He killed his own father to prove to me that he was enough for the First Order. But I can feel how broken he is. He couldn't kill his mother, because deep down Kylo Ren is still Ben Solo, and I'm afraid his past is ruining his chances of giving all of himself to the First Order, to me."

Ben Solo? 

"You're not aware of his past, are you?" Snoke shook his head in disbelief. 

Your mind was running wild, what was your grandfather talking about? Who is Ben Solo? What does he mean? Who was his mother? 

"Ah, young child, he hasn't told you." Another laugh left his throat. "Ben Solo, son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. That's him, kneeling before me." 

Pure rage was radiating off Kylo and it was almost giving you a headache. But he still said nothing. 

"Leia...she, she didn't tell me she had a son," the tears had stopped now, but your cheeks were still wet and sticky. "I heard her, when I...when I touched Vader's helmet. I heard her say 'Ben', but I didn't know what it all meant." You shook your head, looking back at Kylo. His eyes were fixated on the tiles again. He was avoiding your gaze. 

"She lied to you, yet you continued to serve her and the Resistance. She sent her own son away to Luke Skywalker for training and he sensed the darkness inside him. His own uncle tried to kill him." He said, a hint of amusement lingering in his voice. 

Your head was spinning. The raw emotion radiating off of Kylo was wearing off on you, and the information that Kylo never told you was starting to make you sick. It's almost as if everything had been a lie. Kylo lied to you. His own mother lied to you. You had no idea they were related. You had no idea that Kylo Ren was actually Ben Solo. It was all too much. 

"That's where I took him in." 

You were stuck in between your grandfather and Kylo. Part of you wanted to run over and cradle Kylo in your arms, the other part wanted to stand beside your grandfather and scold Kylo. In that small moment, you felt alone. 

"I trust that with more training, the two of you can finally finish what we started. Maybe you, granddaughter, can kill the girl. Kylo's had his chances, and he only comes back with new wounds. I'm surprised she hasn't killed him herself yet." 

You watched as Kylo's eyes, black with fury, dart up to your grandfather. The muscle under his eye twitched and he looked back down again. 

You just wanted to get out of here. "I know what I have to do." You gave your grandfather a curt nod. "I'll get it done." 

"Yes, good girl." He smiled. "Now, go. The both of you." 

You didn't hesitate and turned your back to him, marching out of the throne room, not even bothering to wait for Kylo to stand. As you pressed the button to the elevator and waited for it to arrive, you heard Snoke's voice once more as he spoke to Kylo. 

"You're weakening, Ren. I suggest you do something about it." 

"Yes, sir." Kylo's voice was thick. You knew he had so much more he wanted to say. 

You heard the familiar heavy footsteps behind you and the blast door opened in time for you to enter. 

Kylo stepped in behind you before pressing the button to take us back down to the hangar. 

You couldn't look at him. The silence was unbearable, suffocating even. You could feel his eyes burning holes into you. Fresh tears started to form behind your eyelids, wetting your eyelashes. 

You nearly killed him. You nearly killed the man you loved. And now, you weren't sure if you knew him. Everything had been a lie, he kept everything from you. His own mother kept their relationship from you. Your grandfather spilled everything in a matter of minutes, and it all was starting to make sense, now. You wondered how Leia survived the attack when TIE fighters assaulted the hangar. Your parents, along with many other crew members were the ones who perished, but somehow, Leia and the pilots of the Tantive IV were spared. All because Kylo didn't have the strength to kill his mother. 

You heard Kylo murmur your name, his gloved hand reaching from you but you stepped away from him. 

"Don't," you shook your head before blinking away more tears.

The blast door opened to the hallway and you stepped out beside Kylo. He stood in the hallway looking down at you. He was hurting just as much as you were, but you couldn't look at him. You wanted to be as far away from him as possible. Knowing you had to be stuck in his Silencer on the way back made you feel nauseous.

The ride back to the Finalizer was agonisingly silent, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak. You could feel the uneasiness humming off Kylo, his leather gloves were taut against his skin as he gripped the controls. You thought they'd break under his grip. Once he had landed the Silencer, you were quick to climb out. You wanted to get as far away from him as possible. You wanted to shut yourself away in your quarters to try and process everything. You wanted to cry, scream, hell, you even wanted to break things. 

Perhaps that was one thing that was wearing off on you from Kylo. Breaking things.

Kylo was soon at your heels, you wanted to run but you knew it'd be no use. He's as stubborn as you are. 

"Come here," his voice was thick.

You chewed on your cheek, ignoring his request as more tears threatened to roll down your cheek. You entered your quarters and tried to lock him out but he barged inside, closing the door behind him. 

"Hey, listen to me," 

"Get the fuck out," you turned your back to him, your chest aching as you took ragged breaths, trying to calm yourself. "Just go!" 

"I won't do that, not while you're like this." He took a step towards you and you spun to face him. 

"If you haven't noticed, I've had a pretty fucked up day, and I want you gone." Your voice was strained through tears. "Please." 

"Princess," his face fell, his lips twitching in thought. "Let me explain-"

"My grandfather did a pretty good job at that," you let out a painful laugh. "Kylo, Ben, who ever you fucking identify as, get out. I'm not going to ask again." 

He stood there, his large body trembling, not only from anger, but sadness. 

Good.

"Please, let's talk about this-"

In a matter of moments you sent a chair hurtling towards him, you hadn't even reached out, it just happened. 

The wood splintered into pieces beside him with a loud crack. 

His eyes were wide, and you watched as the honey coloured brown faded into black. Now you've pissed him off. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He growled, taking another step towards you, catching your wrist in his gloved hand. "Stop being a child!" 

Anger bubbled inside of you, and before you could catch yourself, your free hand cracked him across the face. The smack echoed off the walls, and immediately the palm of your hand began to sting. You'd hate to think what Kylo was feeling. His pale face was now seared with a red handprint, his hair was disheveled across his face. 

"Get. Out." Your voice was laced with venom. 

Kylo stepped away from you, letting go of your wrist and staring at you in awe that you just hit him. You were surprised you'd hit him. A brief moment of silence passed before he turned, exiting your quarters. The blast doors slammed behind him.

All you could do was fall to your knees. 

And cry.


	19. Chapter 18

It had been a few days since you'd last seen Kylo. 

You hadn't even left your quarters. You laid in bed all day, levitating object when you were bored. You weren't due to join a squadron for a few days, unless there was an emergency. But it's been quiet. And you were thankful for that. 

You cried yourself to sleep when Kylo left. You felt so hurt and lost when your grandfather spilled Kylo's past. You were upset Kylo hadn't shared any of that with you, but, at the same time, you hadn't really shared much with him either. 

You hated that you missed him. Your quarters were cold, freezing almost, compared to Kylo's. It didn't help that he wasn't there to hold you in his arms. 

You groaned and buried your head into your pillow. You were laying on your stomach, still sulking about him two days after the two of you fought. Eventually you had to face him, but you couldn't bare to look at him. 

You just didn't think it'd be this soon.

There was a loud knock on your door, and thankfully it wasn't Kylo, instead you found two Stormtroopers outside your door. 

"There's a meeting being held, the Supreme Leader requests your presence. The meeting is in the main conference room." One of them spoke, their robotic voice crackling under their helmet. 

You swallowed thickly before giving them a curt nod. "Ok, thank you." Was all you said before you shut the door on them. 

You decided it'd be best to quickly shower and tidy yourself up. 

Why would Kylo need you in a meeting? Was this just another lie of his to get to talk to you? You found it odd that you were requested to attend a meeting, especially in the main conference room. That's where most of the Imperial Officers congregated for more serious matters. So what did they need you for? 

You pulled your hair up into a pony tail after your shower and pulled on your first order trousers and shirt. You figured it'd be a bit more presentable than your overalls. 

The walk to the conference room was short, your mind was running wild as to why Kylo wanted you there. Had he finally had enough of you? Were they getting rid of you? You hadn't done anything wrong you were aware of. 

You spotted Hux talking outside with another officer, one you hadn't met before, and he stopped to greet you. 

"What are you doing here, prisoner?" He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. 

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. "The Supreme Leader requested that I'd attend. I was told by two Stormtroopers. Trust me, I don't want to be here." You glanced at the large menacing blast doors. You only found them menacing because you knew who would be on the other side of them. 

"Oh, right." Hux glanced at the older man next to him, then back to you. "Well, I suggest you head inside then. It'll be starting soon." He ran a hand through his fiery red hair. 

You swallowed as he pressed a button to open the door, revealing a long, sleek black table. A dozen chairs seated on either side. All of them were full apart from three. Obviously made for Hux and the other man, and you. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as numerous sets of eyes landed on you. All of the Imperial Officers were confused as to why you were there, and you didn't blame them. You didn't even know why you were there. 

You were glad to see Kylo wasn't in there, but at the same time you wanted him there to explain to the officers why you were there. At least then they'd stop looking at you as if you killed their mother in cold blood. 

You sat at the end of the table, averting your eyes from the officers who chatted quietly amongst each other, already bringing up a few issues that didn't interest you whatsoever. 

The doors opened again, and Hux and the other man sat beside you. The room was quiet, aside from the low chatter amongst the officers up the other end of the table. You could sense unease from a few of the officers that continued to glance down at you, and it was only starting to make you uncomfortable. 

When you thought it was starting to get all too much, the blast doors opened one last time, and heavy footsteps filled the room. 

Fuck. 

You straightened your back, at least trying to look professional as Kylo stalked down to the head of the table. He was dressed in his usual tunic and trousers. But he was wearing his helmet and cowl over the top. 

He turned and placed his hands on the table. Through that helmet, you could tell his eyes were on you. And you hated it. 

After a brief moment of silence, Hux, not to your surprise, was the first to speak. 

"Can I ask, Ren, why you've requested for the prisoner to attend this meeting?"

Every set of eyes landed on you. 

You wanted to melt into a puddle right then and there. Your heart pumped wildly in your chest, blood rushing to your face and chest in embarrassment. You swallowed and looked up to Kylo, hoping he'd answer sooner rather than later. 

Kylo's helmet tilted to look at Hux. 

"Not that it's anyone's business," his voice made you shudder. "But Supreme Leader Snoke has requested that she train beside me." He pushed himself off the table and the dark voids of his helmet burned into you once again. "So I figured it'd be best to have her here." 

"None of these issues concern her," the older man that was talking to Hux was quick to challenge him. 

Your eyes widened slightly. He was brave for doing that. You could feel the anger bubbling inside Kylo. You knew this meeting wouldn't end well. You didn't want to be here. 

"Actually, Pryde, they do." You could almost hear Kylo growl. "Considering she'll be training beside me as Supreme Leader-"

"Supreme Leader?" Hux frowned. 

You frowned as well. What the hell did he mean by that?

"Sir, with all due respect," Hux stifled a laugh. "She's no Supreme Leader." 

For once, you agreed with Hux. 

"Supreme Leader Snoke is her grandfather." Kylo leaned forward again, the voids of his helmet burning into Hux. "He requested for her to train beside me. I will show her the way-"

"This is ridiculous," this time, it was Pryde to interrupt Kylo, again. "Why would we need another Supreme Leader?" 

"As I just said. Snoke is her grandfather. Perhaps you should take your concerns up with him." You watched as Kylo's gloved hands gripped the edge of the table. He was close to exploding. 

The other officers shared their thoughts to each other privately, glancing between you and Kylo. 

You swallowed. "I don't particularly want to be Supreme Leader," you were shocked that you had opened your mouth to speak. And you soon started to regret it as everyone turned to you once more. You cleared your throat. "Supreme Leader Snoke wants me to take down the Resistance, and the only way we can do that if we all work together." You cringed at how you put your words together. You were nervous. You weren't sure if Kylo appreciated you stepping in. "He said it would be best if the Supreme Leader and I worked together to eliminate them." You folded your hands in your lap. 

Hux laughed then looked to Kylo once again. "Ren, I hope there isn't a romantic situation going on with your apprentice." He turned to you. "You spend an awful amount of time in his quarters." 

Before you could open your mouth, Kylo's voice bit through the silence. 

"There is nothing of that nature going on between us. I'm simply following the Supreme Leader's request to train her. She's strong with the Force and if there was no training involved it could turn dangerous." 

Hux smirked and looked at his hands folded in his lap. "Of course, Supreme Leader." 

You chewed nervously on the side of your cheek, keeping your eyes down at your hands in your lap. 

The meeting drew on for another half hour. The officers bickered back and forth about certain crew members and duties that had or hadn't been done properly. You zoned out, often catching yourself glancing up at Kylo as he paced back and forth at the head of the table, adding his own thoughts to certain issues that were brought up. You always forgot how menacing he looked with his usual 'Supreme Leader' outfit. 

He looked so powerful. 

"There's been word that the Resistance are planning an attack." Pryde eyed the officers at the table. "We need to snuff out their base and destroy them." 

You swallowed. "D'Qar," 

Again, every set of eyes were on you again. 

"Their base is located on D'Qar. It's in the Outer Rim." 

You couldn't shake the nauseating feeling pooling at the bottom of your stomach. 

Had you really just given the Resistance base to the First Order without a single hesitation? 

There was no going back now. 

"How do we know you're not lying?" Hux scratched his chin in thought. 

"What reason would I have to lie to you?" You glanced at Kylo. He had stopped pacing and leant over the table again. "I was part of the Resistance, remember?" 

Hux looked at Kylo then back to you. "Perhaps we should send you down to gather intel." 

"It won't be that easy. They know what's happening. They know I no longer serve them. They'll probably kill me." 

"Well let's hope that doesn't happen." 

You glared at him as he turned away from you. 

"We'll work something out." Kylo's helmet was fixated on you. 

You wanted so desperately to leave the room, run back to your quarters and hide under the covers. But something was telling you, you wouldn't be going anywhere. Not for a while anyways. 

After another five minutes or so, the Imperial Officers began to stand to leave. You stood and pushed your chair in, before turning to leave. But, much to your disgust, Kylo called you back. 

You watched as they left the room, Hux and Pryde being the last to leave. But Hux stopped at the door and turned to face you. "What is this?" 

"I need to speak with her privately about her grandfather and training," 

He was lying. 

"Right. Take care Supreme Leaders." Hux smirked before leaving the room. 

Hearing that made your blood turn cold. 

You stood with your back to Kylo, both of you were at opposite ends of the table. At least there was a fair amount of space between you. But you had a feeling that would change. 

Minutes passed, silence filled the room. 

"Can we talk?" His voice was soft, even through the static of the helmet you could tell he was sincere about it. 

"I don't have a choice, do I?" You crossed your arms and gazed at his menacing figure. With him draped in all black he seemed to grow taller, broader. 

"I just want to explain." 

You swallowed and nodded your head before taking your seat again. He remained at the opposite end of the table. 

"I didn't tell you because Ben is dead to me, and I rather keep it that way. I've killed my past. Buried it. I don't want to go back and be reminded of how weak I was." 

You swallowed, your eyes fixated on your hands in your lap. "You could've at least explained to me why I heard Leia calling to Ben. I was so confused." 

"I told you. Ben was Leia's son. And he's dead." 

You glanced up to Kylo, he was leaning over the table once again. "But he's not really dead is he? There's still some of him left in you." 

"Ben died the minute I killed my father." He growled. 

Maybe you were overstepping a little. 

"Is it true?" You began nervously chewing on your cheek. "That your uncle tried to kill you?" 

"Yes," 

Your eyes found your hands again. "I'm sorry, Kylo." 

"It doesn't matter anymore. What does matter is that we work together to destroy the Resistance. Or at least make a start to keep Snoke off my back." He shook his head. 

Visions of you pointing the hilt of the lightsaber at Kylo's head flashed through your mind again, your breath caught in your throat. 

"Kylo," you blinked away tears. "The lightsaber—"

"I don't want to hear it." 

"I nearly killed you," 

"But you didn't." His gloved hand gripped the edge of the table. "You should've." 

"No," you shook your head, tears had started to roll down your cheeks now. "I couldn't." You stood from your chair, hoping you could finally leave.

He remained silent, the dark voids of his helmet burning through you. Silence filled the room once more. The tension was slowly building and starting to suffocate you.

"What do you want?" You finally worked up the courage to speak. 

He slowly stalked towards you, his heavy footsteps echoed throughout the conference room. He was quick to lift you up onto the table, his strong fingers gripping your waist. 

"You."

As upset as you were with him, you couldn't fight off the urge to squeeze your thighs together. "We can't, not here," you shook your head and wiped the tears from your cheeks.

"I don't care," he pressed into you, his bulge pressing against you through your trousers. 

Just days ago you had thrown a chair at him in anger, you hadn't seen him until now and he was about to fuck you on the conference table. And you couldn't be happier, much to your disgust. 

His gloved hands worked at the zipper of your trousers before he pulled them down your legs, taking your boots off with them. The cold metal of the table sent goosebumps running over your flesh. 

"Take the helmet off," you whispered as he worked at his own trousers. 

"No," 

"I hate looking at it," you mumbled. 

Kylo was quick to pull you off the table, spinning your around and pushing your chest down onto the cold metal. He stood behind you, his gloved hands caressing your ass.

"Now you don't have to." His voice was thick as he pulled your underwear down to your knees. "Now," without warning he sunk into you. "Be quiet." He hissed. 

"Fuck," your nails dug into the palm of your hand as you adjusted to his size. You were already so wet for him, in a few thrusts it was easy to take him as he split you open. 

"I hate you," you whimpered as he rocked his hips against you, your hipbones digging into the metal table. 

"I told you to be quiet," his hand found your ponytail and he wrapped your hair around his wrist before pulling you up to him, your back against his chest. "Do as I tell you." He thrusted his hips against yours, skin smacking skin filled the room as he worked against you. 

Your body was on fire, and knowing that anybody could open the doors only spurred you on further. Kylo's thrusts were slow. But he wasn't gentle. Each thrust his cock buried deep and pressed against your cervix and you could help but groan. 

"I've missed this cunt," he growled. "I've missed you." He let go of your hair and pushed you back down onto the table. 

"It's only been two days," you managed between moans. 

"Stop—talking," he hissed in between each forceful thrust. A groan left his throat and it sent shivers up your spine. Warmth started to pool between your legs, seeping into every crevice it could as Kylo relentlessly pounded into you. 

If the two of you were to be caught, what would happen? You and Kylo had straight up lied to Hux's face, and if he caught the two of you fucking just minutes after he had left, he could ruin the both of you. 

Kylo's thrusts started to quicken as he neared his release, his fingers dug into your waist and another moan left your throat as his cock plunged into you over and over again. "Kylo," you whimpered. Your clit was aching for attention, and you needed to cum. "Let me cum," 

Another growl left his throat, his hips still working against yours. "I don't think you deserve it," 

"Kylo, please," you whined, your hand snaking down between your legs, but, as always, he was quick to catch your wrist before you could get the chance to touch yourself. 

"Beg for it," his voice was dark. 

Another frustrated groan left your throat. "Fuck Kylo, please, let me cum. Let me cum on your cock,"

In a matter of moments the Force was circling your clit as Kylo continued to trust into you. He was close. His thrusts were stuttering and sloppy, and the animalistic growls leaving his throat only brought you closer to your own release. 

"You drive me insane," he groaned. 

"That makes two of us," you whimpered as he sent you over the edge. Your body shook as you came around him, your cunt pulsating around him, your legs shaking underneath you. 

Kylo roared as he came, spilling cum inside you as he dug his fingers into your waist. He pumped into you through his own release, making sure to completely fill you with his seed. 

He took a moment before he pulled out, leaving you feeling completely empty and leaking with cum. He stuffed himself away and pulled your underwear back up your thighs. "Fix yourself up and leave," 

You frowned, but knew that walking out together might've been a bad look if there were people hanging around. 

Hopefully they hadn't heard the both of you. 

You were quick to pull your trousers back up, tucking your shirt into the waistband. Your body still vibrated with aftershocks of your orgasm. Your hands trembled as you buttoned and zipped your trousers up. "So, what, is this your form of truce?" 

"I guess you could say that." The chrome accents seemed to glint in the light, much like what his eyes would do when he was being mischievous. You'd grown to love that about him. 

"On a more serious note," you straightened out your clothing and hair. "What are we going to do about the Resistance? Do we know where they are? I think maybe we should do what Hux suggested." You sat back up on the table. 

"You said it yourself, you could be killed." 

"Perhaps if they capture me," you used your fingers to make quotations, "I could try and figure out what their deal is." 

"My mother isn't stupid," 

You so desperately wanted for him to take his helmet off. You wanted to gaze at his scarred face. You felt like you were talking to a droid.

"I know she isn't. But I can be pretty deceiving." You smiled. "If they take me in, they'll question me, and I'll lie. I know how to shut my thoughts off from—"

"It won't work. Rey and my mother are strong enough to know—"

"Listen to me," you sighed. "Rey is strong, yes, but she's not smart. When she's mad, it clouds her judgement. I know how to get under her skin, Kylo. It'll be easy." 

"It won't work." This time, it was a growl. 

All you had to do was pretend that Kylo had you against your will. You could convince them that you wanted to come home, that you hated being there. But then again, Jackson and Leia knew what was happening. Leia called off a rescue because she felt the change in you. Perhaps it wouldn't work after all. 

"Then what do you suggest?" 

"Snoke wants Rey dead. That's his main priority." 

"Then I'll kill her."

"It's not that simple—"

"I know it's not. I need a weapon first. When is that going to happen?" You tilted your head. After all this time you still didn't have your own lightsaber. 

He sighed. "Fine. Tomorrow you can make your own. I have some leftover materials from when I made my own. There's one Kyber crystal left." 

You smiled. "Great. That's one step closer to killing her then." 

Kylo groaned in frustration. "You still don't understand, do you?" His gloved hand found your jaw, his fingers digging into your flesh. "It's not going to be easy." 

You knew it wouldn't be easy, and you knew you couldn't do it alone. "I know," you breathed. "That's why we're helping each other." You reached down and squeezed his hand. You so desperately wanted to kiss him. 

With trembling hands, you slowly reached up to the sides of his helmet. He didn't move. Your fingers found the small latch on the side of the helmet, and it hissed as the visor protruded forward. You slowly pulled the helmet from his shoulders, his dark hair falling in dark curtains around his shoulders. You gazed up at his face. More bruises littered his face, and your heart fell to the pit of your stomach. 

"He hurt you again," your lip trembled as you placed the helmet down beside you. "Why?" Your vision blurred through new tears as you reached up to his face, brushing your thumb over the fresh purple bruise on his cheek below his scar. 

Kylo shook his head. "It doesn't matter," he swallowed. "Princess I—"

You cut him off by bringing your lips to his. His lips were soft and warm against your own, he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. You reached up and entwined your fingers through his dark locks, brushing your fingers over his ears. The kiss was soft, passionate, and you could've sat like that forever with him. But he pulled away. 

You heard commotion outside the blast doors and quickly jumped to your feet, allowing Kylo to pull his helmet back on. The doors soon opened and Hux rushed in, looking rather distraught.

"Sir, the Resistance are attacking our Star Destroyers." 

And now you knew why. 

A/N: hey guys I'm sorry this chapter was so poorly done. I'm getting a bit stuck on things and where to go with this book. I don't really plan anything and it comes back to bite me sometimes haha. I have a rough idea where I want to go, it's just getting there is the problem so sorry if these chapters take a while. 

If any of you guys are interested here are my socials:

IG and TikTok: whor3s_for_kyloren

^ i post edits on both accounts 

and if you wanted to follow my private IG it's :hayleybpriv

I hope you guys are all well and staying safe ❤️


	20. Chapter 19

"You're not going—" 

"It's my job, Kylo." You quickly changed out of your trousers and shirt into your usual overalls. 

"Not anymore it's not," he frowned. "You're Supreme Leader—"

"I'm not," you shook your head. "I have to go. I'll come back in one piece. Promise." You rose onto your tip-toes to quickly press a kiss to his lips. The kiss lingered for a moment before you pulled away, searching his battered face. He was worried. Even through his cold, emotionless stare, his eyes were wild with fear.

"You come back to me, your hear me?" His voice was low. 

An explosion erupted somewhere on the Finalizer, the floor and walls shook violently and the siren began to groan and whine. 

Your heart was in your throat. You had peered out the small window of your quarters only minutes before and watched as a Resistance Bomber destroyed one of the Star Destroyers. Countless numbers of X-Wings zipped in between the fleet, shooting at ion cannons and turrets on the Star Destroyers, as well as shooting down numerous TIE fighters. 

The attack was unexpected. You knew the day would come, but you didn't think it'd be now.

"Kylo you need to get out of here," you shook your head. "If they take down the Finalizer—" 

"I'll be fine. Now go. And be careful." You could've sworn his lip trembled as he backed away from you to retrieve his helmet. 

You swallowed. You wanted to tell him that you loved him, but he had already left. 

Adrenaline pumped through your veins as you finally made it to the hangar, clambering into one of the last TIE fighters on the Finalizer. You flipped multiple switches to power the engine, before tearing out of the hangar. 

It was absolute chaos.

You spotted several more Bombers slowly approaching, and one of them was heading for the Finalizer. X-Wings circled the neighbouring Star Destroyers, red lasers directed at the ion cannons and it's targeting systems. 

You powered forward, being sure to avoid any crossfire between TIE fighters and X-Wings. If it weren't for the war zone, you could stop and admire the galaxy. The pitch black was littered with stars, and there were a few planets that were close by. 

A hologram of Hux popped up beside your controls, startling you. "We've sent out another squadron from another Star Destroyer to help you, take down the Bombers—"

"Hux there's one heading straight for the Finalizer, I'm going to try but—" you pulled the TIE fighter to the right to shoot at one of the X-Wings beginning their attack on the Finalizer, "it's close, I'm not sure if I can take it down in time."

"I'll deploy the shields—"

"Hux that won't work!" You nearly yelled. "Your best bet is to target the Bomber with the ion cannons. I'll do my best to try and take it down but I'm not sure how much time we have." You spun the TIE fighter again, narrowly avoiding the lasers that shot from the X-Wing trailing behind you.

"Right. Good luck out there Prisoner." Hux nodded his head and the blue hologram was gone once again. 

The TIE fighter started beeping, indicating that the X-Wing behind you had locked onto you and was about to fire. You clenched your jaw and waited for it to fire, before you performed a lag roll, falling in behind the X-Wing. When you were only meters away, the missile screaming behind you, you somersaulted the TIE fighter out of the way, sending the missile into the back of the X-Wing and blowing it to pieces.

You swallowed and brought the TIE fighter up above the Finalizer. Smoke was already billowing from one of the ion cannons that was destroyed. That would've been the reason why the siren went off. 

You accelerated towards the Bomber, pressing countless buttons to lock the missiles onto it. Once you had locked onto the Bomber you fired, before bringing the fighter away in case it exploded. But you knew it would take a bit to take it down. 

You circled back, noticing the squadron of about ten or so TIE fighters hurdling towards you and the Bomber. The Bomber moved slowly, thankfully, but it was getting dangerously close to the Finalizer. Much too close for your liking. 

Kylo, you need to get out of there.

You were thankful you were able to communicate with him, when he responded, of course. You were glad he did. 

We're fine here. Be careful.

You gripped the controls tightly, sending the fighter hurdling toward the Bomber, pressing the controls to lock another missile onto it. 

I don't know if we'll destroy it in time. Get out now.

He didn't respond, and anger bubbled inside you. You were angry that he didn't cooperate easily. But you couldn't shake the uneasy feeling pooling in the pit of your stomach. You were worried the Finalizer was going to be blown to pieces, and Kylo along with it. 

You sent another missile, along with multiple other TIE fighters, penetrating all angles of the Bomber. What you needed to do was get underneath it and shoot up into it. That would surly destroy it. 

You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat before accelerating downwards, then straightening underneath the Finalizer. Ion cannons continued to shoot green lasers at the Resistance forces, and you had to navigate through a maze of red and green lasers. The TIE fighter rocked and spun as you navigated your way underneath the Finalizer to make your way towards the Bomber. 

It was going to be hard to get the right angle, especially if the trapdoors hadn't opened yet to reveal the inside of the Bomber. The outside of it was armoured, and the shield that it had deployed around itself made it all the more difficult to attack it. But you knew underneath it was the best place to be to attack. 

You neared the bow of the Finalizer before pulling the fighter up, facing up underneath the Bomber. In another few minutes it would be in a perfect position to deploy the proton bombs. Thankfully, the doors were open, the bombs were flashing red, ready to destroy the Finalizer. 

You steadied the fighter beneath the Bomber, ascending at a decent speed before pressing the controls to fire the laser cannons up into the bomber. It only took a few shots to ignite the chain reaction of proton bombs exploding, completely gutting and destroying the Bomber from the inside-out. 

But you hadn't thought it through enough. 

Some of the bombs began to fall from the magazines, bombs that hadn't gone off yet. And they were heading straight for you. You ripped the TIE fighter to the side, somersaulting out of the way. A few of the bombs exploded at the tip of the bow, only causing minor damage, from what you could tell. 

The Resistance Bomber seemed to crack in half as it exploded, debris and shrapnel seeming to almost freeze in space. But it was only a matter of time before it came down on top of the Finalizer. 

Kylo you need to either get the fuck out of there, or somehow move the Finalizer out of the way.

It was only a matter of time, the remnants of the Bomber was falling through space slowly, heading straight for the Finalizer. Even though it looked incredibly slow, when the Bomber comes in contact with the Finalizer, it'll be all over. There would almost be nothing left of it. You knew how it worked. You've seen it as a pilot for the Resistance, you've seen multiple Bombers that had been shot down destroy an entire Star Destroyer as it crashed into it. 

Kylo didn't respond. 

You could kill him. 

You hadn't noticed that another X-Wing had locked onto you, their missile hot and ready to fire. They were close, and you were struggling to shake them. You somersaulted multiple times, performed lag rolls and tried to lose them in the battlefield but it was no use. 

The fighter screamed at you, alarming you of your impending doom. You shut your eyes and waited for the explosion, waited for the burn, the suffocation as you were blown into space. But, you heard the familiar roar of a TIE fighter scream past you, taking out the X-Wing that was on your ass. 

You watched as the TIE fighter circled back, the harsh, sharp angles of it came in view, the red accents glinting in the darkness. It was Kylo's Silencer.

You're welcome.

A smile crept onto your lips. 

I could kill you.

We'll see, Princess. 

You managed to spot him through the glass, a smirk plastered on his gorgeous face. 

Hux's little blue hologram popped up again, he stood abnormally straight, his hands clasped behind his back. "Well done, Prisoner. The Resistance seem to be retreating. Destroy what ever is left of them. We're relocating the Finalizer now."

"Yes, sir," you nodded and directed the TIE fighter towards the neighbouring Star Destroyer, pressing multiple buttons to fire up the laser cannons once more. 

Follow my lead. 

Kylo's voice was thick inside your mind. 

You obeyed. 

+++++

"You did well out there," Hux tapped his fingers against his metal desk, his pale face tight in thought. "Well done." 

You gave him a half-assed smile. "I did what I had to do. And luckily it worked in my favour." You shrugged. 

Adrenaline still pumped through your veins. You were jittery in your chair, tapping your fingers against your knee. 

"Was anyone injured when the bombs went off?" 

Hux shook his head. "No, there was just some damage to the external parts of the bow. Cant say the same for the other Star Destroyer. They transported some of their wounded over to us." 

You nodded and sighed before you pulled your hair from your pony tail, running your fingers through your hair. 

"I've thought about the plan. Sending me down to the Resistance." You glanced up at him, noticing how his brows raised for a split second. Kylo wasn't there to stop you. He was speaking with Pryde on the Bridge. 

"Right?" He tilted his head. 

"Commander Ren believes it's a stupid idea, but quite frankly I think it'll work. It'll be difficult, but I'm quite the deceiving person." You flicked your fingers and brought a small ornament towards you off Hux's desk. His gaze faulted for a moment as he watched you levitate the small replica of a Star Destroyer. 

"So I've heard," he swallowed. "How would you go about this plan of yours?" 

"Simple. Wherever the Resistance are, we go. I go down to what ever planet they're on. Let them capture me." You made quotations with your fingers. "They'll take me in, question me and I'll try and convince them that I'm being held here against my will, that I'm not really turning against them." 

Every time you repeated the plan to yourself you realised how bad it sounded. 

But it was worth a try. 

"And if it doesn't work?" 

"Then," you looked down at your boots. "Then, I don't know. I haven't got that far honestly. All I know is that I need to get rid of Rey. That's what my grandfather expects of me." The words left a sour taste in your mouth. 

"Right. Well, if you're serious about this I can try and find where the Resistance, especially the Scavenger and her little posse, are situated. But it won't go ahead until it goes past Ren." 

You nodded. "I understand." 

"Dismissed. Thank you again." He nodded towards the door. 

You stood and sent the tiny Star Destroyer floating back to his desk. "My pleasure."

+++++

"I'm sorry I haven't been around recently," you sat at the bar, beer in hand next to Noah. "I've either been busy or sulking in my room." 

"Hm, I only believe half of that," he smirked. "What would you possibly be busy with that you can't come and drink with us?" His blue eyes flickered from your face to his bright blue coloured martini. You had no idea what it was. 

"Fuck, it's been that long has it?" You groaned. "Fuck, Noah, I'm so sorry." You shook your head. "I've been out flying TIE fighters," you half smiled. 

His brows drew together. "They let you, a prisoner, fly their TIE fighters?" He scoffed. "Wow, you must really be sucking up someone's ass for that, huh?" 

You laughed. "It's called gaining trust. Demonstrating loyalty." You took a swig of your beer. The bitter liquid seemed to sooth your throat. 

It's been a pretty fucked up and long day. 

"I bet you're sleeping with the Commander for it," he smirked, downing his fifth martini. He was hammered already. Soon he'd be asleep. 

"Ha, you're funny," you rolled your eyes. 

You hadn't seen Kylo since the both of you landed the TIE fighters in the hangar. Both of you went your separate ways without speaking another word to each other.

"So, you're like, a pilot now?" He turned to face you, his gorgeous blue eyes were glassy, his long blonde hair tied up in a bun. 

You nodded. "I guess so." 

You hadn't told him about the Force. And you figured if you told him now he'd just laugh at you and think you were joking. 

"Where's Lexa? She's supposed to be here—"

"Hey fuckers," 

You smiled at the sound of Lexa's voice. She was tired, exhausted even. She groaned as she sat beside you, flopping into the barstool. Her dark hair was messy, baby hairs sticking out at the top of her head. Dark circles sat under her green eyes and her olive skin seemed a little dull. Her dark uniform had multiple stains on it, perhaps the blood of crew members from the other Star Destroyer. 

"Long day?" You raised an eyebrow as she ordered a shot of tequila. 

"Don't even talk to me about it. We've had amputees, women going into early labour, children, everything. It's fucked." She rolled her eyes before she threw the shot back and slammed the glass onto the table. 

"How was your day?" She looked between you and Noah, who had ordered another martini. 

"Um, chaotic." Was all you said as you took another swig of beer. 

"Did you hear she's a pilot now?" Noah chuckled, but it was more a hiccup. 

You chewed on your cheek as Lexa gazed at you with tired eyes. "No, I haven't." She turned her head and ordered another drink. "When did this happen?" 

You swallowed. "Weeks ago," your voice came out softer than expected. "I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to tell you guys. I've just been super busy with training and flying and it's just been so chaotic," you shook your head. "I didn't mean to keep you guys in the dark about it." 

Lexa laughed. "I don't care. That's great you're doing something you love now. But I'm surprised you haven't done a runner." 

"I've given up on the Resistance," the words left a bitter taste in your mouth, or perhaps it was the beer. 

"The First Order has finally grown on you, huh?" She smiled as she sipped on a pink martini. 

A smile cracked your lips. "I guess you could say that."

The night dragged on, Noah drank like his life depended on it. He was on the verge of sleep, but the music kept waking him up. You and Lexa didn't leave his side. 

He had only recently broke up with his boyfriend, or his boyfriend broke up with him; he kept changing the story when it was brought him. He cried into Lexa's chest and you sat and rubbed his back as sobs wracked his body. He was a mess. 

Eventually you and Lexa took him to his quarters and put him to bed, the both of you giving him a kiss on the cheek before returning to the bar. 

"You haven't told him about the Force bullshit, have you?" Lexa pursed her lips. 

You shook your head. "I wasn't going to bother with the state he was in." You laughed to yourself. 

"How's it all been going?" 

You smiled. "I haven't killed anyone with it. So I take it that's a good thing." 

"Depends on how you look at it," she shrugged. 

You sipped on a green martini Lexa had ordered you. It tasted and smelt of apples but you couldn't pick what alcohol was in it. It was strong. 

After a few more martinis your confidence was starting to buzz, as well as Lexa's.

"You know," you laughed. "Kylo wanted me at a meeting today, before the attack," you swallowed. "He's calling me Supreme Leader." You hiccuped. 

She stared at you in awe. "Why's that?" 

"Snoke's my grandfather." You sipped on your third martini, this time it was a blue one. "So, I mean technically I am. But I don't see myself as one." It was true. Even though you were drunk and not thinking straight, being classed as Supreme Leader didn't sit well with you. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" She frowned. 

"I just did, didn't I?" You rolled your eyes. "Sorry," you shook your head. "Everything is so fucked up." 

"Wait so, Snoke is your grandfather? Does that mean soon you'll run this place?" 

"I don't want to. I'll leave that to Kylo. I can barely look after myself, do you think I can look after a whole army?" You laughed, resting your head on your forearm. 

She stared at you for a moment, her green eyes scanning your face. "You keep saying his name." She lowered her voice. "He wouldn't be happy about—"

You laughed. "He won't mind," 

"Are you and him, like, a thing?" She whispered, bringing her face towards yours. 

You thought for a moment. "I—"

"Good Evening," 

You wanted to die right then and there. 

"Oh, Supreme Leader!" Lexa shot up and straightened herself. "How can we help you?" 

You didn't move from your position, you figured that sitting up would only make your headache worse. 

"I was hoping to speak to my apprentice, but it looks like she's incapable of holding a decent conversation." There was a hint of amusement in his deliciously thick voice. 

"Oh, right!" Lexa was over-the-top enthusiastic about this whole thing. "Well, I have to go anyways. I have work tomorrow." She leant down and pressed a kiss to your cheek. "I'll see you later." 

You shut your eyes. You were literally about to spill everything about what you and Kylo got up to behind closed doors to Lexa, and Kylo was standing right behind you. 

Fuck.

Kylo sat down next to you, requesting a whisky from the bartender. 

"What do you want?" You groaned, your eyes still shut. Your head was pounding. 

"Normally alcohol puts you in a good mood," he mused. He was acting way too casual. 

You opened your eyes and looked up at him. He was dressed in his usual 'Supreme Leader' attire, minus the helmet. His hair fell in dark sticky waves around his shoulders, he was sweaty. 

"What have you been doing?" 

"Supreme Leader things," he sipped his whisky. 

"Why are you so sweaty?" 

"I ran all the way over here to see you," he smirked. 

"Oh, ha ha, fuck you." You rolled your eyes and buried your head into your forearm again. 

"Hm, maybe." His voice was low, dark. 

You couldn't help but squeeze your thighs together, trying to stop the ache between your legs. 

"You haven't answered my question." 

"I don't have to answer to you," he quipped. 

You lifted your head. "As Supreme fucking Leader I deserve an answer," you groaned. Your head was pounding now. 

Kylo studied you, his dark eyes searched your face as he took another sip of his drink. "I was working out. You're not well." He frowned. 

"I'm just tired." You held your head in your hands. 

You watched Kylo finish his drink before he stood. "C'mon, I'll take you to your quarters." He held out his gloved hand. 

You thought for a moment and decided against taking his hand. Instead you clambered off the bar stool onto wobbly legs. 

"So stubborn," he mused from behind you. 

"Didn't think you'd want people noticing me holding your hand." You swallowed the bile rising in your throat. How much did you have to drink? 

"You can barely walk," he sighed as the both of you exited the bar. 

"Thanks Captain Obvious,"

"Don't be a bitch." His voice was sharp as he picked you up, one of his arms hooked underneath your knee, the other supporting your back. 

"This isn't a good look," you mumbled. "What if Hux sees?"

"Then let him. I'm not waiting around all night for you to make it to your quarters. Besides, you're gonna be sick, aren't you?" He raised an eyebrow. He wasn't wrong. "Just don't throw up on me." 

"I would never," you sighed. You rested your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes and placing your hand on his chest. 

For what seemed like only seconds, you were back in your quarters. Kylo laid you down on your bed before walking to your kitchenette to get you a glass of water. Sitting still only made you all the more nauseous. 

You swallowed before making your way to the bathroom, stumbling and bumping into walls. You fell to your knees in front of the toilet as colourful liquid erupted from your mouth. "Gross," you mumbled to yourself as you flushed the toilet and wiped your mouth. You felt better, but you weren't going to risk moving from the bathroom for a while. 

"How much did you drink?" Kylo placed the glass of water on the basin beside you before squatting down in front of you. He gazed at your for a moment before grabbing a towel and wiping your face. 

"I don't know. Enough to make me sick." You grumbled.

"Clearly," his brows knit together. "Here," he passed you the glass of water. With shaky hands you took it from him and sculled it. It was what you needed. 

You could never get enough of Kylo being sweet and caring. Of course there was some sarcasm here and there, but you were glad he walked you back to your quarters. You were thankful he was still there with you while you threw up again, his strong fingers holding your hair back. 

"I'm so sorry," you wiped your mouth again. "This is embarrassing." 

"Learn to handle your alcohol." He smiled. He was being an ass, but at the same time, he managed to be sweet about it. 

After another fifteen minutes or so you felt better, having another glass of water for good measure. You quickly brushed your teeth and changed into your track suit and tank top. Kylo was sitting on the small couch in your quarters, datapad in hand. 

You hid your smile as you climbed into bed, pulling the sheet over your shoulder. Kylo glanced up at you, the screen illuminating his face. His dark eyes searched your face before he placed the datapad down on the small table in front of him. 

"Did you need anything else?"

You shook your head. "No, thank you." Your head was heavy against the soft pillow. 

A small smile touched his lips as he rose to his feet, gathering his belongings. 

Your heart dropped. 

"Wait," you croaked. "Stay." 

The last time you asked him to stay he left you in a messy heap, cum dripping out of you and your denied release. 

"I can't, Princess," 

"Please? Just for a little bit?" You hated how needy you sounded. But you wanted nothing more to fall asleep beside him. You wanted to feel his chest underneath you. 

He hesitated for a moment before dropping his belongings on the couch and walking over towards you. 

"Move over," 

You smiled and shifted against the wall, giving him more room to lay down beside you. His heavy body collided with the mattress and a sigh left his throat. 

"It's been a long day," you mumbled as you curled into him. 

He hummed in response, his fingers drawing circles on your waist. You couldn't contain the smile on your face. Instead you buried your head into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. 

"Thank you," 

He shifted. "For what?"

You yawned. "Everything."


	21. Chapter 20

Kylo

It's already 1100 and she still hasn't arrived for her training. I was supposed to help her construct her own lightsaber and show her how to use it. I left a note beside her bed telling her to be here by 1000, I figured I'd let her sleep in because she'd be hungover. But this was ridiculous. 

I gazed at the multiple materials splayed out on the desk, various metals and other bits and pieces were scatted everywhere. The red Kyber crystal sat in a small metal box beside it all.

I waited until she fell asleep last night to leave. I couldn't stay there, even though I wanted to. There was already enough talk about the two of us, and although majority of it was true, I wanted to try and keep everything quiet. 

Fucking her on the conference table wasn't exactly keeping it quiet but I needed her then. 

When she fell asleep last night little moans and sighs left her chest. I had to practically pry myself out of her grip, and surprisingly she didn't wake up. The alcohol obviously hit her hard. 

Before I left I pulled the sheets up and over her to keep her warm and scanned her mind. It was fuzzy. The alcohol didn't make it easy to see what was going on in that brain of hers. But something was irritating her. I could feel the conflict inside her, but I couldn't pick up on what it was. 

The blast doors to my quarters opened and she walked inside. Her hair was pulled into her usual ponytail. She was in her overalls with a bottle of water in hand. 

"Hi,"

"You're late," I couldn't help but glare at her. 

"I know. I'm sorry." There was a hint of amusement in her voice as she sat beside me at the desk. "So, how do I go about making this thing?" Her eyes scanned the table as she picked up the chassis of the hilt. 

"You need to pick out the materials you want. Take the chassis and open the metal box to grab the Kyber crystal." I rested my elbow on the desk as she fiddled with bits of metal. 

"Why do they all look broken?" She frowned. 

"It's what I had given to me. They're not broken you just need to put it all together." 

Her small hand gripped the metal chassis and she opened the box with the other, revealing the red Kyber crystal. She gawked at it and picked it up with her fingers. "It's beautiful," she breathed. The soft red glow illuminated her pretty face and reflected in her eyes. 

"Now, see where there's a gap in the chassis? Place the crystal in there." I took the chassis from her to hold it for her. Her small fingers pressed the crystal into the gap and the crystal seemed to glow a little brighter. "Now you choose what grip you want." 

She glanced down at the few grips I had left. After a minute or so, she decided on the matte black grip with silver accents carved into it. "I take it I just screw it on?" She took the chassis from me and slipped the grip onto the bottom of it. 

I could watch her all day. Her brows furrowed as she screwed bits and pieces onto the chassis. Her lips were pursed when she was making decisions on the design of her hilt. 

She was so beautiful.

"Kylo?" 

Her voice brought me back to reality. "Huh?" 

"What do I do now?" 

I glanced down at the hilt. "Um, you need to add the activation plates and an emitter." 

She gazed at me for a moment. She looked tired. I wasn't sure if it was because she was hungover, or something else. Her walls were up, and I couldn't get into her head. 

"What are you thinking about?" I reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. Every time I touched her electricity seemed to burst through me. 

"I feel guilty," she mumbled as she attached the activation plates, more black metal added to the hilt. Much like mine. 

"About what?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"Your face. It's so swollen." 

Oh. Right. But that wasn't the reason she was upset. There was something else. 

"It doesn't matter, Princess. I can take care of myself." 

"I hate that my grandfather keeps hurting you." Her eyes were soft. "You don't deserve it." 

When we had that disagreement a few days ago, Snoke requested that I'd see him. As always, I did as I was told and visited him. It was nothing new. He'd tell me what to do, then mock me for not doing something else properly, then a few punches were thrown if he was close enough. If he wasn't, he'd throw me into walls. This time he choked me to the point I nearly passed out, before he threw me into the tiled floor. 

It was great fun. 

I swallowed. "Choose your emitter. Then you're finished." I looked at the floor while she chose the last piece to her hilt. 

Snoke knew we had a disagreement. That was the reason for my latest beating. He told me we needed to work together, to bring a new order to the galaxy. He knew she was pissed off with me, after he gave up all of my past to her, I was infuriated. I could've killed him. 

Ben Solo is dead to me. Everyone needs to know that. 

She shifted in her seat and handed me the hilt. 

It was similar to mine. Except it was more feminine. It was smaller, and more intricate. The silver was a huge contrast against the matte black hilt. The silver accents ran up the side of the hilt, the raised metal would make a good grip for her small hands. 

"It looks good," I nodded then passed it back to her. "Now turn it on. Just point it away from me." 

Her face fell when I said that. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." 

She was still traumatised about nearly killing me. I don't blame her. I'm still traumatised too, I just don't like to show it. When she had the hilt of my saber pointed at my head I thought I was going to be sick. Even though I told her to do it, I was internally screaming at her to not to. It took everything I had to stop myself from shaking beneath her. 

The look on her face alone nearly killed me. The tears and puffy eyes still haunted me. I could hear her sobs when I tried to sleep—

The crackle of her lightsaber brought me back to reality, again. I was so out of it today. 

The red plasma licked at the air, and the look on her face was priceless. She had a huge smile on her face as she twisted the saber in the air, taking in the details of her hilt. 

I couldn't help but smile. 

"Kylo this is awesome," she beamed.

"Now you have to learn to use it." I stood from the chair and ignited my own saber. My quarters were filled with the whirring sound of the sabers.

I held out my saber and tapped the plasma against her own, a hissing noise filled the room. 

"Wait, I'm not going to—" before she could finished I raised my saber to come down on her, hoping she'd be smart enough to block. Thankfully she did. "Kylo what the fuck?" She hissed. 

"You need to learn how to use it," I shrugged before pulling my saber away. "Swing at me. Get the feel for it." 

"What if I hit you?" 

I laughed and shook my head. "Then it's bad luck."

The red glow emanating against her face made her all the more beautiful. Her small hands wrapped around the hilt of the saber before she swung towards me. I only had to step away. 

"Don't be afraid." I frowned. Her face was twisted with worry as she took a step back. 

"It'd be easier if I didn't like you." 

Something inside me ignited, only briefly. 

"Pretend it's the first time you saw me. After I—"

"Treated me like shit?" She grunted as she swung again. I blocked her and forced the plasma into the tiles. The cleaners must hate me. 

"Treat them mean to keep them keen," I shrugged.

She pulled the saber out of tiles and spun, trying to hit my side. She could've easily got me, but she resisted going any further. "Good," I nodded. 

"Has Hux spoken to you?" She blocked another one of my strikes. 

"About?"

"Sending me down to the Resistance?" She pushed my lightsaber away and advanced once more, swinging the saber at my throat. 

I frowned. "No. And no, you're not doing it." I grumbled as I twisted out of range from her again. 

"It has to be done," she brought the saber down again and I was quick to block it before it hit the tiles. Her breathing was coming in little gasps. 

"We can work something out but you're not doing it." 

"Seeing as I'm Supreme Leader—" she flicked the saber up and went to strike at my leg. I reached my hand out and held it still with the Force. "I should be able to make my own decisions." She hissed. 

"Not happening Princess," I let go of the saber, only to bring my own saber down on top of her own, knocking her to the floor. I stepped towards her and pointed my saber underneath her chin, a smirk plastered on my face. 

I don't think I've ever had this much fun with someone in my entire life. 

"I need to kill her," she glanced at the plasma cracking underneath her jaw. "It's what my grandfather expects." 

"All in good time, Princess." I disarmed my lightsaber and reached out to her to help her to her feet. "Besides, I'm not done with you yet. I don't want you going and dying on me." 

She scoffed. "What's that supposed to mean?" Her face was inches away from mine as she disarmed her saber. 

A smirk touched my lips and I leant down, pressing my lips to hers. Her lips were soft against my own and her soft moan sent blood rushing straight to my groin. 

Fuck. 

She pulled away and smiled. She was so fucking beautiful, even with her hair being a mess and sticking to her sweaty forehead.

"So," she moved away from me, her cheeks bright pink. "What are we supposed to do today now that this is all done?" 

"I have another meeting to go to that I want you to come with me to. And then we'll be heading to Canto Bight." 

Her eyes lit up. "What are we going back to Canto Bight for?" 

"Because you missed out on seeing it last time." 

She smiled and sat on the desk, swinging her legs over the edge. I stepped towards her and gripped her thighs, pulling them apart. 

"But first, I'm going to fuck you senseless." 

+++++

The meeting dragged on for almost two hours. It took a lot out of me to not pin Hux against the ceiling. He would constantly make snarky remarks whenever Pryde or I spoke. 

Princess sat at the opposite end of the table, her legs crossed and hands in her lap. She was a little more confident to be here now. She would even voice her own opinions on issues such as those in the hangar, new weaponry and whatnot. 

"There's been no news on the Scavenger and her rebel friends." Hux turned to Princess, then glanced back at me. "We haven't been able to locate them."

I gripped the table and glanced at Princess through my helmet. She sighed and leant forward, tapping her nails on the metal table. 

I don't want her to go. Her skills with her lightsaber are far from refined. Rey would slaughter her. I don't know what my mother would do to her. Probably nothing. My mother doesn't have a mean bone in her body. But Rey, she can be lethal when she wants to be. 

"I've already discussed with her, she's not to go down. Not yet anyways." 

"As Supreme Leader I think she can make her own decisions," Hux smiled. 

If only he wasn't in charge of the troops. 

He would've been dead long ago. 

Princess sat quietly at the end of the table, her eyes were on me, her head tilted as if to say 'exactly'. Her lips were pursed and she tapped on the table again. Her walls were down and her mind was running wild. The most prominent thoughts running through her mind were of me ruining her hours ago, how I rammed my cock into her over and over again on the desk. Then her mind would travel to her plan on how she'd kill Rey. 

But it wouldn't work. 

It couldn't. 

My mother already senses the change in her, so she won't fool them. Even if she cried and begged. It wouldn't be enough. I can see her being held down by restraints as Rey decapitated her. She was ruthless. If Rey had turned to the Dark side, we'd all be fucked. Luckily she's part of the Resistance and their weaponry is nothing compared to ours.

"She can make her own decisions," I looked at Hux, his lips pulled up in an ugly smirk. Then I turned back to Princess. "But it's a stupid idea." 

"It'll work." She shrugged. 

"It won't," 

Her shoulders fell and she leant back in her chair, not saying another word. 

"We're heading to Canto Bight once dismissed. I want troops patrolling the streets in case there's any Resistance. If there is, kill them." I pulled away from the table. "My Knights will be coming with us." 

"That won't be necessary, Ren." Hux swallowed. 

Thankfully the helmet concealed my smirk. "And why not?" 

"Stormtroopers would be enough." 

"Perhaps. But, if I decide I want to take a break from my duties for a night, they're there to take care of things that you wouldn't be able to." 

Hux remained quiet and looked away from me to look at Princess. He said nothing.

"What is the reason for going to Canto Bight, again?" Pryde asked.

I swallowed. Perhaps just wanting to take Princess sight-seeing wasn't a great excuse. 

"In case there's anymore Resistance there. We know they wanted new weaponry. Perhaps we can pick up new weaponry, too." 

Pryde nodded. 

After a minute of deafening silence. I sighed. 

"Dismissed." 

+++++

We landed the Command Shuttle on the shore of Canto Bight, the Night Buzzard landing shortly after us. 

The ramp of the Command Shuttle opened with a loud hiss, and warm air greeted us. Princess stood beside me, the warm air blowing strands of her hair around her face. I swallowed and tensed my jaw in order to stop myself from smiling. I haven't bothered with my helmet. I know how much she hates it when I where it. I want the next few days to be just about her. She deserves it. 

"Come," I jerked my chin to the side as I walked down the ramp. Her small footsteps followed behind me on the metal ramp before my boots found the sand. 

I hate fucking sand.

"Where are we staying?" She looked up at me, a small smile plastered on her face. The sun was slowly setting on the horizon and the warm glow made her eyes glint in the light. 

"We're staying in the casino, our rooms have already been sorted." If it was just me and her I would've hired the penthouse. But considering Hux and a few other Imperials and crew members were accompanying me, I figured it was best to sleep separately. Still, the rooms that have been held for us are remarkably large and upper class. 

It is Canto Bight after all. 

"Can we go look around?" She jogged up the limestone stairs beside me in order to keep up with me. 

"It's getting dark Princess," I glanced down at her. "Tomorrow. Tonight you can settle into your room." 

Her small smile fell from her face as she nodded. 

Even though my Knights were here with me to protect her, I still didn't like the thought of keeping her out late at night.

She had been quiet the whole trip in the Command Shuttle. She sat in her seat and looked out of the windows gazing into nothingness as we entered Cantonica's atmosphere. I tried tapping into her mind but her walls were up for what ever reason. I wasn't going to push her. 

I lead Princess through the streets of Canto Bight, the Knights filing behind us. Stormtroopers began to take their posts around the city, marching up and down the main streets. The golden glow of the lights warmed her face, accentuating all of her gorgeous features. She always managed to look so beautiful even dressed in her First Order overalls. 

"Tomorrow my Knights will take you through the city. I want you to buy a new outfit." I glanced down at her as we made our way up the rounded flight of stairs that lead into the casino. 

She looked up at me. "You're not coming?"

"No, I have a few things I have to take care of tomorrow. I'll give you enough credits so you can shop for what ever you want."

It was true. I figured while I'm here and Princess is out shopping, Hux and I could enquire about new weaponry, and possibly get answers as to why the Resistance were here not long ago wanting new weaponry. 

We entered the casino and the noise of music, people, game machines and glasses clinking was deafening. I watched as Princess' eyes darted across the room, taking in the absolute chaos that occurred every night in the casino.

Her eyes took in the various humanoids and other weird looking creatures that were drinking and gambling, all dressed in expensive outfits. 

I ushered her through the crowed, being careful refrain from touching her in front of Hux and the other Imperial Officers that'd be staying in the hotel with us. 

I lead her towards the main lobby that was situated behind a large set of golden doors. The lobby floor was white marble with gold flecks catching the light from the ridiculously large chandelier dangling above our heads. 

In all honestly we probably all look out of place, especially my Knights with their weapons cast over their shoulders. 

"Ah, Supreme Leader," the woman behind the marble desk smiled. "So good to see you again." 

I've never seen this woman. 

"Yeah, we need the keys to our rooms," I stepped towards the desk. Princess nudged me and frowned. "Please." 

"Right away, sir," she nodded as she glanced at the screen in front of her, before gathering handfuls of cards for our rooms. "Just like you requested, you and your Knights on the-" 

"Thank you," I reached and grabbed for the keys. I was exhausted and wasn't in the mood for small talk. If anything I just wanted to fall into bed and let sleep come to me. 

She frowned as she handed the cards over to each of the officers and my Knights. It was two to a room. But unfortunately Princess and I had to have separate rooms for obvious reasons. 

We split off into our own groups, taking different elevators to get to the top floors of the hotel. Princess and I were accompanied by Vicrul, Ushar and Ap'lek in the elevator. 

Princess was abnormally quiet. I could sense the uneasy feeling humming off her, whether it was because of my Knights or something else, I don't know. 

The elevator came to a halt at the top floor, revealing the long marble tiled hallway. Small gold chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and a large window at the end of the hallway overlooked Canto Bight. The walk was silent as the five of us made our way to our rooms. 

Cardo met Ap'lek at a door that was obviously their room, and Vicrul and Ushar diverted to another, leaving me and Princess alone in the hallway. 

I stared down at her, her eyes wouldn't meet mine, and it was driving me insane. 

"Is everything alright?" 

She was fine this morning, but ever since the meeting she's been quiet. Perhaps about the bullshit plan she was pulling together. 

"Just tired," she said, her voice was soft as she finally looked up at me. She did look tired, dark circles were beginning to form under her eyes, but it wasn't that. It was something else. Something was eating her up inside and her walls wouldn't come down. 

I handed her the card to her room. "Get some rest, Princess." I brushed my thumb over her cheek. My Knights already knew about us, and the Imperials were on the floor below us. I leant down and pressed my lips to hers, wanting to feel some reassurance that she was ok. She kissed back and reached her small hand up to grasp at my tunic. 

Suddenly everything felt a little better. 

"Goodnight, Kylo." She breathed as she turned away from me. Her room was only across the hall from mine. I made sure we had the better rooms. We were at the end of the hall and I knew she would love the view from her room. 

"Goodnight, Princess." 

A/N: hey guys! It feels like it's been ages! I'm sorry this chapter wasn't really worth the wait. Uni has been super chaotic but now I'm finished for the year :) I'm going to try and write as much as possible but with having a new puppy in the house my life's been a bit chaotic at the moment but please bear with me!! 

I promise the next few chapters are going to be soooooooo much better. I promise this book will heat up and actually go somewhere.

I love you guys and I hope you are all doing ok. If not, I'm always here for you guys. 

If you wanted to privately message me my IG is @/whor3s_for_kyloren or if you wanted my private it's @/hayleybpriv 

Again, I love you's all so much and thank you for the ongoing support :) I appreciate each and every one of you !


	22. Chapter 21

A/n: this chapter will have sex that will be degrading, include some violence such as spitting, slapping, choking etc. If that makes you uncomfy I suggest to skim through :) I love you guys xxx 

You had hardly slept overnight.

The hotel room was amazing. The floors were a darker marble than the tiles in the hallways. The dark grey marble accentuated the white and grey walls of the room. Various expensive artwork in golden frames were littered throughout the place. The small kitchen was situated just beside the entrance, the white marble counter topped with a granite bench was illuminated by more golden light fittings that dangled from the ceiling. Something was telling you that you wouldn't be using the kitchen much. 

The hotel and casino screamed wealth. Gold and marble was littered everywhere, like it costed nothing. 

You were in shock when you entered the casino beside Kylo. To see so many humanoids and other alien beings in such expensive clothing made you feel out of place. It was chaos in there. 

Gambling never had been your thing so you weren't really interested in sitting in the casino anyways. 

The living room, if you could call it that, consisted of a charcoal grey sofa situated in front of the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the city. The dark oak coffee table had a stack of magazines and books piled on top, as well as a small crystal vase with some type of flower you weren't sure of placed inside it. 

The bedroom was sectioned off from the rest of the room by a large feature wall, but you could enter the 'bedroom' from either side of the wall. The wall was a deep red, with two gold lights that sat on either side of the wall. The bed was a large queen size mattress situated on top of a black leather bed frame and consisted of too many throw pillows. The sheets were black and deep red, much like the feature wall the bed was situated against. 

The most breathtaking feature of the bedroom was the ceiling. It was a large mirror. 

You shivered at the thought of watching Kylo fuck you underneath it, how the muscles in his back would tense and contort as he thrusted into you, how his scars would stretch and almost glow in the dim light. 

The bathroom consisted of more dark marble tiles, more granite services and gold accents. It consisted of a double shower and a large bathtub. Pity you and Kylo couldn't share a room together. 

You tossed and turned all night, staring at your reflection in the ceiling. You were a mess. Physically you looked and felt drained. Kylo not only throughly fucked you that morning, but he was fucking you over with your plan to take down Rey. You trusted him, you thought, all you wanted was for him to trust you, too.

And you loved him. 

You loved him so much that hearing his name brought a smile to your face. You admired him. All you wanted was to be with him. You found joy in just sitting beside him watching him scroll through documents on his data pad. He could be doing absolutely nothing and you still adored him. 

You wanted to tell him, but you couldn't find the courage to do so. You had an inkling that if you told him, he'd react in a way that would hurt you. Your biggest fear was that he'd push you away, lose his temper and start breaking shit. He was well known for that. But you didn't think you could go through that. 

It would break your heart. 

But not telling him the truth is eating you up inside, almost to the point you can't breathe around him. 

He knew you weren't ok when he stood in the hallway with you. You could feel him trying to probe into your mind, but you wouldn't let him in. You couldn't. 

The kiss was reassuring. It seemed as if he knew you were hurting, and that he'd be there for you. 

You wanted to follow him into his room and crawl underneath the covers with him, hold his stupidly large body close to yours and never let go. But you couldn't. 

If Hux or any of the other Imperials caught on, it would be a massive fuck fest for the both of you. 

You didn't need the hassle right now. 

You woke the next morning, your mind trying to register where you were at first. You were unbelievably cold. Although you were covered almost head to toe in the sheets and doona, you missed the body warmth. You missed Kylo. 

Today was going to be awful, you thought. 

Spending almost the whole day without Kylo, and instead going to be escorted around Canto Bight by his six Knights. It was daunting. You had never actually heard them speak. You couldn't walk around the city in silence, you wanted at least someone to talk to. 

You clambered out of bed and glanced at the small alarm clock on the bedside table. It was 0800. 

Working on Star Killer and the Finalizer has definitely been the reason for you beginning to wake up earlier than normal. 

With a groan, you trudged towards the bathroom to clean yourself up. 

Perhaps you should wait until you and Kylo got back to the Finalizer to tell him how you really felt. If you told him now, you risk ruining the time you have on Canto Bight. You wanted to see the city, see what it had to offer. 

As a Resistance pilot you rarely ever had time to visit places. It was always a flyby. The only planet you stepped foot on was D'Qar and your home planet, Tatooine, when you were a child. Before your parents had joined the Resistance. 

You pulled on your First Order overalls and boots, leaving your hair out for a change. 

As you exited the bedroom you glanced at the kitchen, but shook your head. You weren't exactly hungry. In fact, you felt a little nauseous. Eating probably would've made it worse. 

You swallowed before exiting your room, shutting the door behind you and stepping across the hallway to Kylo's door. As you lifted your hand to knock, the door swung open. 

You were greeted with a shirtless Kylo, wearing his usual leather trousers that for some reason were really high-cut. You scanned his chest, taking in the scars and the small patch of dark hair between his pecs. 

"Hi," his voice was raspy from sleep. It made you weak in the knees. 

His dark hair was tousled around his jawline, framing his gorgeous, scarred face. The dark circles under his eyes were no longer visible. You were happy he slept well. 

"Hi," you smiled up at him, expecting him to smile back. But he didn't. 

"You didn't sleep, did you?" He sighed as he rubbed his eyes, stepping aside to let you into his room. You hesitated before stepping inside. 

"I couldn't get to sleep," you shrugged. "It doesn't matter." 

His room was basically the same as yours, the same tiles, same layout, similar artwork etc. 

"Princess," he refrained from rolling his eyes. "What's been bothering you?" He sat on the sofa next to the window overlooking Canto Bight. The morning sun illuminated his broad, pale frame. 

He looked like a fucking God.

You finally remembered that he had asked you a question. "Nothing. Just couldn't sleep." You made your way over to him. 

You made sure your mind was shut off from his. He must know that your walls were up. He just hasn't asked why. Not yet anyways. 

"Tell me," his dark eyes narrowed as you walked towards him. This had been the first time you had seen Kylo basking in morning sunlight. Real sunlight. 

"You look—" you straddled his waist and pressed your lips to his in a brief but passionate kiss. "Incredible." You finally finished. 

He was taken back by your words. He scanned your face, then his dark eyes met yours. The morning sunlight boring through the floor-to-ceiling window turned his eyes a golden brown colour. Almost like honey. 

"Please," his hands grasped your waist. 

He was still asking you to tell him what was bothering you. You pressed your lips to his again, your fingers entangling in his dark locks to tilt his head and deepen the kiss. You sighed against him as he parted his mouth to press his tongue between your teeth. 

You just wanted to be close to him, just for a minute, even though the crushing pain in your chest was making it hard to breathe. 

You loved this man so much, and he had no fucking idea. 

You wondered if he felt the same, or if he just saw you as some girl he could fuck at his beck and call. 

You shook the thought from your mind. 

"It's nothing, Kylo." You smiled and kissed the scar on his cheek. 

Fuck, you loved that scar. 

He stared at you for a moment. He wasn't fully convinced. You could tell by the worried look behind his eyes. He shifted underneath you to place you onto the sofa so he could stand. "My Knights are ready when you are," he made his way over to his bedroom, before returning shortly after with a small woven bag in hand. He placed it in your lap and looked back up at you. "There's twenty thousand credits in there for you to buy what ever you want." 

The bag was heavy in your hands. "What do you want me to buy?" You raised an eyebrow. 

"Maybe a nice dress. I want to take you out for dinner tonight. Of course everyone will be there with us, but I don't want you to wear those overalls anymore." 

Your heart fluttered in your chest. 

"Yes, sir." You said sarcastically. 

Being around him started to hurt a little less when the both of you could joke about utter nonsense together. 

"But buy what ever you want, Princess." He leant down and pressed his lips to your temple. "Hux and I are going to enquire about more weaponry today. You'll have my Knights for the whole day. But I want you back here by 1700 to get ready for dinner." His fingers lifted your chin so he could look down at you. 

You nodded and rose to your feet, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw before leaving his room with the bag of credits he gave you. 

+++++

It had been a little over two hours since you left the hotel with Kylo's Knights. As you walked down the streets of Canto Bight, the six of them would surround you as if to cover you from any danger. It was suffocating. 

Especially since none of them spoke. Not one. 

You had wandered into a few clothing stores, however hadn't found anything that caught your eye. Most of the clothing was bright white, gold or sparkly. Not really your taste. 

Considering you were now the Supreme Leader, you figured walking around the Finalizer in a glittery gold thigh-high dress wasn't appropriate. 

Kylo wouldn't mind though. 

You glanced at the multiple Stormtroopers patrolling the main streets, their white armour almost blinding in the warm sun. You could feel the unease radiating off them as they glanced at Kylo's Knights surrounding you. 

You were sure you heard a few of them mutter "Savages," to their fellow troops. 

One of the Knights to your left, Vicrul, shifted as he swung his scythe over his shoulder, glancing down at you. They all had their helmets on, and it made them all the more menacing. You would've preferred them to not have them on. You couldn't connect to them personally without seeing their faces. But you knew Kylo wouldn't be too pleased with them revealing themselves to you. 

You spotted a well-lit glass window that displayed various darker dresses and other clothing on multiple mannequins.

Perfect. 

"Give me a minute," you turned to face Kylo's Knights. They all towered over you, dressed in all black, much like Kylo himself, with their weapons cast over their shoulders. "I'll try be quick." Was all you managed before walking into the store. 

It was a darker setting than most stores you had visited. The floors were granite tiles, and you spotted the clothing racks with various lengths of dresses. 

You had no idea what you wanted, or what you thought would be appropriate. You wanted something you could wear to dinner, but it would be a bonus if you could wear it for every day duties on Starkiller. 

You picked out a black floor length dress with a deep plunge neckline and a high split up the thigh. Not really your kind of style, but you figured you'd just try it on. You gathered a few other black dresses that you thought would suit as well as some skirts, pants and shirts. 

"Do you want me to hold onto them?" 

Your heart flipped in your chest as you spun to face the man that was talking to you. Vicrul. 

His accent was odd, and his voice sounded funny underneath his helmet. He gazed down at you through his matte black helmet, his scythe hooked onto his back. 

"Oh um," you glanced at the dressing room, "no that's ok, I'm going to try these on." You felt your cheeks heat up. "Thank you, though." 

He nodded and backed away. 

You hadn't noticed he had followed you into the store. The rest were waiting outside. 

You ducked into the dressing room, hooking the various outfits up against the wall. You first pulled on the dresses you thought might fit, but you just didn't like them. They either hung off you in places they shouldn't, or clung to areas that were the least flattering. You managed to pick a nice pair of black pants that hugged your figure nicely with a black sleeveless top. You placed them to the side. 

You swallowed as you glanced at the floor length dress. You weren't sure how it would look on your body, but once you had it on, you were mesmerised by it. 

The black silk hugged your curves perfectly, the plunge neckline giving the perfect sight of your cleavage. The thigh splits were maybe a little higher than you would've liked, seeing as the dress was split on both sides, but you just knew Kylo would lose his fucking mind. 

You twisted in the mirror, gazing at your reflection from various angles to take in the dress. 

You loved it. With a pair of nice heels, your hair and make up done, you would look stunning. 

You changed back into your regular First Order overalls, and gathered the clothes you wanted before placing the others back onto the racks. 

Vicrul was wandering around the store, looking really out of place. You had to bite back a laugh. 

The woman behind the counter looked terrified. 

"Can I leave these here while I finish looking?" You pushed your new clothes towards her. She smiled and took them from you, folding them into a small, neat pile. 

You wandered towards the women's section for underwear and lingerie. You were sick of wearing the same boring cotton bra and underwear. 

You gazed at the black lacy lingerie, a small smile plastered onto your lips. You decided on the one-piece. Then your eyes fell onto a deep red lingerie set. It was a two piece, and the cup was see-through thanks to the fine lace. You swallowed and held the red lingerie in your hands. Kylo would appreciate it. And so would you. You never had the chance to have any nice things. 

"Master Ren would like that." 

You jumped at Vicrul's voice again. 

"What makes you think it's for him?" You frowned. "Maybe I just want some nice things for me."

"What ever you say." You could hear the smirk in his voice. 

Normally you'd be mortified having some man in a mask follow you around and talk about lingerie, but for some reason you had grown a liking towards Vicrul in particular. Besides, he was the only one who had said a word to you. 

"Why are you following me around in this store anyways? It's a little creepy Vicrul." You brushed passed him and made your way towards the shoes, picking out a pair of black platform stiletto heels. 

This would be enough shopping for the day. 

"For your protection." 

You forgot you had asked Vicrul a stupid question. 

"Right," you placed your items onto the counter. The woman gazed at Kylo's Knight behind you. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite." You smiled to her. You found the whole situation ridiculous. 

After she had scanned in your items she placed them into a large bag. "That'll be five thousand please." 

Your jaw nearly hit the granite tiles beneath you. 

Reluctantly, you dug into the bag Kylo had given you, handing over five thousand worth of credits to the woman. You had never had possession of this amount of credits in your life, and you had just handed it over for a dress, a pair of shoes and some other smaller items. You almost felt guilty spending Kylo's credits, but you figured as the Supreme Leader of the galaxy he would have more where it originally came from. 

The woman handed you the bag and you thanked her before handing it to Vicrul. "Here, you can carry it now." You smiled. 

Although Vicrul looked menacing on the outside, you could sense that he was quite laid back beneath the facade. 

Another couple of hours passed as you continued browsing through stores and looking around Canto Bight in general. The golden buildings were almost blinding due to the sun reflecting off of them. 

You often found yourself wondering where Kylo was and what he was doing, but you refrained from reaching out to him in case he was in an important meeting of some sort. 

You would've much rathered spent the day shopping along side him, but, then again, Kylo didn't seem the type to wander around aimlessly shopping for clothing. 

When your feet began to ache from walking the streets of Canto Bight, you decided to head back to the hotel. You felt the relief wash over Kylo's Knights. 

You nearly laughed. 

You didn't bother trying to converse with them on the way home. Four out of six of them had bags in each hand of clothing or other goods. You had really gone overboard with the shopping, but Kylo wanted you to. 

You knew he'd be upset if you returned back to the hotel with nothing. 

You were nearly home when a deep red sequin dress on a small mannequin caught your eye. You stared in awe of it. The straps were simple and it was another plunge neckline. You seemed to be drawn to those. It was backless and short. 

You could feel the frustration radiating off your protectors, if you could call them that, as you gazed at the dress. 

"I promise it's the last one," you said simply before striding into the store. 

+++++

After you had hung the new outfits you had bought in the small cupboard in the corner of your room, you decided it'd be best to shower before dinner. Kylo still wasn't back, but he had communicated to you recently that he'd be back soon. 

You stepped into the hot stream of water and groaned as your muscles relaxed underneath it. 

The hotel provided various luxurious hair and body products. You lathered your hair with a shampoo that had a coconut scent, followed by the conditioner. 

You took time in washing and exfoliating your body with the almond body scrub before shaving your desired areas. It had been ages since you had one of these 'self care' showers. You missed it. 

After another few minutes you stepped out of the shower and wrapped one of soft white towels around your body, pulling your hair up into another separate towel. 

You stepped out of the bathroom and nearly collapsed. 

Kylo was sitting on your bed dressed in black trousers along with a black button-up shirt. It surprised you seeing him in clothing that didn't consist of his leather trousers and tunic. He even had polished leather boots on. 

He looked fucking delectable. 

"Took your time, Princess." He smirked. 

When you could finally look away from him you noticed a black box beside him. 

"Um," you glanced back up at him, a sudden rush of anxiety hitting you. "Yeah." You noticed how his collar bones were exposed due to his shirt being unbuttoned slightly. 

"Did you have fun today?" He tilted his head. He knew you were mesmerised by him, and it only sent his ego skyrocketing when you stuttered your words again. "Come here." His hand patted his thigh. You noticed he was still wearing his usual leather gloves. 

You obliged and stepped towards him, and he was quick to pull you into his lap so you were straddling him on the bed. "My Knights tell me you kept them busy," he purred as he pressed his lips to your throat. You sighed and your fingers found his dark locks in a instant. 

"I guess you could say that," you were breathless as he kissed up to your jaw, his lips were warm against your cool skin. He smelled of leather and cologne, one you weren't familiar with. "They hated it." 

"My Knights are used to combat, not carrying bags of women's clothes." He chuckled before pressing his lips to yours. There was a hint of whisky as his tongue dragged over your bottom lip. 

You smiled and pulled away. "How was your day?" 

"Fine." He pressed another kiss to your collarbone. He wasn't lying. He's not one to talk about his day. 

"What's in the box?" You glanced down at the simple black box with some intricate engravings on the outside of it. 

His lips twisted into a mischievous smirk as he opened it, revealing three small metal balls joined together by a string of some sort. You frowned and looked back at him. "What is it?" 

He held the balls in front of your face. "I want you to wear these tonight." His free hand unwrapped the towel and exposed you to him. His eyes were dark as they wandered over your naked body. Your skin seemed to heat up under his gaze. "Open your mouth." 

You gazed at the balls dangling in front of your face then caught his eye once more. You parted your lips and Kylo pressed the metal balls between your lips. 

It suddenly dawned on you where the balls were going, and you were already wet at the thought of them being inside your during dinner. 

"Good girl," Kylo's voice was thick as he pulled the balls from your mouth, one by one they fell from your mouth and he brought them down between your legs. "Do you trust me, Princess?" He pressed the warm metal between your folds and you found yourself rolling your hips trying to encourage him. 

"Yes," you nodded, your grip seeming to tighten around his shoulders as he pressed the balls up into you, filling you. The feeling was foreign. You almost felt heavy as you felt yourself wanting more. 

"Such a good girl for me," Kylo's lips grazed your breasts, his breath hot against your skin. "I also bought you this," he said, pulling a black leather strap from the box. It was like a garter, but it was thicker and had a clip on it. "It's for your saber." 

You nodded and kissed him, wanting to taste him once again. You found yourself growing frustrated with want. You wanted Kylo inside you, although the balls felt good, they didn't compare to Kylo. 

"Kylo I don't think I can go to dinner with these in," you breathed, shifting in his lap. 

"You can. And you will." Kylo mumbled against your throat. 

"Fuck," you couldn't help but clench around the foreign objects inside of you. 

"I'll have my Knights bring you down for dinner. I have to be there a bit earlier with the Imperials." He stood and placed you down on the bed, his eyes never leaving your naked body. "You're not to take them out unless I tell you to, ok Princess?" His leather glove lifted your chin so he could meet your eyes. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded. You tried pushing the warmth in your core away, but it didn't seem to budge. 

"Good. I'll see you soon Princess." He pressed his lips to yours once more before leaving your room. 

Another hour passed as you got ready for dinner. You applied some makeup you had bought during the day, along with curling your hair with the hair straightener the hotel provided. You gazed at your reflection. You were only in your black lace one piece, and a smile cracked your lips. 

You had never felt this sexy in so long. You almost forgot how nice it was to be able to dress up and put makeup on. 

You made your way out of the bathroom and opened your cupboard, pulling the long black dress from the hangar. 

You slipped into the dress, struggling with the zipper at first, before you gave in and used the Force to zip it up. You gazed at yourself in the lengthways mirror on the door of the cupboard. 

Kylo is going to lose his fucking mind. 

The black stiletto heels accentuated your legs that were visible from the high splits in the dress. As you twisted and turned in the mirror to check your appearance, the dull ache of the balls inside you brought you back to your senses. You had gotten used to the feeling of them being inside you, however certain movements made you weak to the knees when they would rub against your walls. 

You could kill Kylo for his antics. 

You slipped the leather garter over your thigh and fastened it, before hooking your lightsaber onto it. You had it high enough for it to be hidden, but easily accessible if you needed it. 

You took one last glance in the mirror and we're happy with how you looked. Your hair was in soft curls that hung around your face, and your makeup was darker around the eyes, but not too heavy. You had chosen a darker coloured lipstick, almost maroon. 

The dress clung to you in all the right places, and you were happy that the lingerie wasn't visible due to the dress' plunge neckline. You wanted it to be a surprise for Kylo. 

You sucked in a breath as you subconsciously clenched around the foreign object inside you, before leaving your hotel room. 

Kylo's Knights were standing in the hallway beside their doorways. They were dressed in their usual black attire, their helmets on top of their shoulders as well as their weapons. 

You could feel their eyes wander over your figure. 

You couldn't shake the primal tension buzzing throughout the hallway. It was suffocating. 

You could sense how much these men were starved of any contact, and seeing you dressed like how you were was driving the six of them insane. You weren't sure whether to be anxious about it, or turned on by it. 

All you knew was that Kylo probably wouldn't want them feeling this way about you. 

You were his after all. 

+++++

After a short walk, the Knights directed you through large gold doors that were surrounded by large windows looking into the restaurant. Nearly every table visible was taken, you wondered how any of you got a reservation. 

Then again, the First Order practically own Canto Bight, when it came to weaponry, the First Order didn't hold back on spending. 

The Knights surrounded you as they lead you through the noisy front area of the restaurant. Vicrul lead the way, his scythe thrown over his shoulder. 

The six of them looked so out of place, they looked so menacing, so powerful. 

They could kill everyone in this restaurant in a heartbeat. 

You found yourself in the back area of the restaurant, it was quieter, darker, more private.

You spotted multiple booths that consisted of round tables and leather seating. You had recognised some of the Imperial Officers chatting amongst themselves. 

Then your eyes fell on him. 

He was speaking to Hux, well, Hux was speaking at Kylo, and his eyes were cast on the bar area. 

What ever Hux was saying, Kylo wasn't absorbing any of it. 

In a matter of seconds, Kylo's eyes found yours, before they ever so slowly raked down your figure, taking you in. 

Hux glanced into your direction as well, his pasty white face seeming to grow a little flustered before he returned to talking to Pryde beside him.

Vicrul and Ushar escorted you to the table Kylo was sitting at, allowing you to sit beside Kylo as they sat beside you. On the large table it was Hux, Pryde, another man you didn't recognised, along with Kylo, Vicrul and Ushar. 

You shifted in your seat beside Kylo, his eyes were back on Hux. 

You look beautiful. 

You knew Kylo wouldn't be able to say it out loud, not with Hux and Pryde sitting there at least. 

You looked up at Kylo, taking in his gorgeous features. 

Thank you. 

Kylo's remaining Knights sat at their own table, the weapons leaning up against the back of the booth. 

"The Prisoner scrubs up alright," Hux smiled. 

You couldn't help but laugh. Although you and Hux weren't the best of friends, he never failed to make you laugh with his stupid remarks. There was less malice behind his comments now, they were more light-hearted jokes. 

"She's your Supreme Leader, General Hux." Kylo quipped. 

You stopped yourself from rolling your eyes. "He was joking." You mumbled. 

Kylo shifted beside you and you felt his hand land on your thigh. He was no longer wearing his gloves, and his hands were warm against your bare skin. You could feel how much he wanted you already and it was almost suffocating. You shifted underneath his touch, only for the metal balls Kylo put inside you to press against your sensitive walls. Your breath hitched in your throat and you tried to cover it by clearing your throat. 

"So, what did they have to say about the Resistance, Hux?" You crossed your legs underneath the table and leant forward, resting your elbows on the table cloth. Sitting down caused the balls the press against your most sensitive areas. 

"They haven't been aware of any Resistance as of yet," he straightened his back and tilted his chin. 

"Right. Did you and Kylo discuss with them about any weaponry?" You we're trying to take your mind off of the pressure biting at your core, and you were doing a decent job at it. 

That was until they began vibrating. 

You hadn't notice Kylo had slipped his hand into his pocket and pressed a button on a small remote. 

"Fuck," you winced and shifted again. 

"Is everything ok, Supreme Leader?" Pryde frowned. 

You nodded and bit the inside of your cheek. "Y-Yeah just knocked myself, that's all." 

Turn them off. 

You tried not to glare at Kylo as you spotted a small smirk on his lips. His eyes weren't on you, instead, they were on the waitress that was striding towards your table, her hourglass figure swaying with each step. 

No.

Kylo I swear to fucking—

"Ah, Supreme Leader," the waitress smiled. "So good to see you again, gentlemen."

Kylo straightened himself and a small smile touched his lips. "Talia, nice to see you again." He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. 

"How have you been, Kylo? It's been a while." She smirked. 

The growing pleasure inside your core seemed to come to a icy halt. Watching Kylo talk to the women in front of you and acting like you didn't exist was enough to ruin your high. 

The waitress was tall, blonde and thin. She had make up that didn't quite match her skin tone, and heavy red lipstick. Her breasts were almost bursting out of her white button up shirt and her black skirt almost revealed everything underneath. 

You had ignored Kylo's answer and pulled your leg away from him, accidentally kicking Vicrul beside you. Your cheeks heated up as his helmet glanced down to you. 

"Sorry, Vic." You mumbled. 

"What can I get everyone to drink?" She smiled, her eyes never leaving Kylo's. 

Oh, you hated her. 

"Whisky," Kylo nodded before glancing down at you. His eyes were dark as they wandered over your body once more. "She'll have a beer." 

Your heart fluttered for a moment at the fact Kylo knew you only really drank beer, but you shook your head. You had something better in mind. 

"Actually," your voice was tight, you weren't sure if it was from the jealousy rising in your throat or the fact that the balls were still relentlessly buzzing against your walls. "I'll have a glass of red, please." 

The waitress frowned at you before typing something into her tablet. She took the last three orders from the remaining guests at the table before striding away, her hips swaying as her heels clicked against the tiled floor. 

"Since when do you drink wine?" Kylo frowned. 

You ignored his question and shifted again. Even though seeing Talia and Kylo's exchange between each other bummed you out, you couldn't shake the fact that you were close to your orgasm. 

Kylo knew it too, because he slowly slipped his hand between your legs, pressing his fingers against the lace that covered your sex. But you pushed him away. The jealously that was bubbling inside you was eating you alive. 

So needy. I can feel how wet you are through your panties. 

Fuck you. 

Oh, I will. Don't you worry.

With that, you felt the invisible pressure at your clit once more. Kylo was abusing the Force and using it to pleasure you underneath the table. 

You brought your hand up to your mouth, chewing on your nails in order to stop yourself from moaning as the Force swirled around your clit. Warmth began pooling inside your belly as you grew closer and closer to your orgasm.

"Are you going to go through with this plan, Supreme Leader?" Pryde was staring directly at you, his brows knit together. 

"Um—" Kylo's Force quickened against your clit, his pressure increasing too. "I'd like to think so," you managed. You were so close and you were worried if you spoke it would come out at a moan. 

"Good," he nodded and turned to speak to Hux. 

Cum for me. 

You chewed on the inside of your cheek to quiet the moan that was threatening to fall from your mouth as you came, your core clenching around the metal balls. You grabbed Kylo's wrist under the table, your nails digging into his flesh as he squeezed your thigh. 

Stop.

He knew you had came undone beside him, but he was tormenting you. The balls continued to vibrate inside you. 

Kylo, turn them off.

A small smirk played on his lips and he moved his hand away. He reached into his pocket and immediately the balls stopped vibrating. 

You could finally breathe again. 

Just in time for the waitress to return with a tray of drinks. 

Your legs were shaking underneath the table, thankfully, nobody could see them. Sweat misted the back of your neck. You needed that drink, but you could wait a little longer. 

"Whisky for the Supreme Leader," the waitress placed down the crystal glasses filled halfway with whisky in front of him. She was learning over and her breasts were in full view. 

Your gut twisted at the thought of how she knew Kylo. In reality, they probably slept together or something, but you didn't want to think about it and ruin your night. 

She placed down the martinis in front of Hux and the other man, as well as the last glass of whisky in front of Pryde. 

Her eyes met yours before she glanced at Kylo, who was already taking a sip of his drink. She rolled her eyes. 

"And, um—" she lifted the glass from the tray. "A glass of red for...whoever you are." She snickered. 

Your heart sunk in your chest, but the overwhelming disappointment was soon replaced by anger.

You clenched your fist underneath the table, and in a matter of seconds, the glass shattered, spilling the deep red liquid all over her pristine white blouse. 

You gasped, trying to cover your smile. "Are you ok?" 

Kylo stared down at you, his brows knit together, before he looked back up to Talia. "Here," he passed over his napkin towards her. 

Her face was bright red as she tried to wipe her shirt clean, but the stain wasn't lifting. "I'm sorry I don't know what happened." She mumbled, embarrassed. 

You did feel a little bad, but her smug smiles and exchanges with Kylo made you sick to the stomach. He was yours now, and she was trying to rub what ever they had in your face. You didn't expect her to know you were the Supreme Leader, but you would've thought Kylo would stand up for you, or at least correct her.

"I'll go get you another glass," she spat. 

"Thank you," you smiled. 

As she walked away, everyone at the table began their conversations again. 

"That was unnecessary," Kylo muttered. 

"What?" You looked up at him. 

"I know it was you." His eyes were dark. "That was wrong." 

You scoffed. "Since when did you care about right or wrong?" You rolled your eyes. You wanted to ask him about her, but if Hux or Pryde tuned into your conversation they would soon pick up on the jealously. 

Kylo's voice was dark as your name fell from his lips. It was a warning. "No more," he muttered, taking the menu and looking it over. "What are you eating." 

You weren't really hungry after the bullshit with Talia. The fact he was annoyed with you and not her made your blood boil.

"Not hungry." 

"Fine." He didn't bother looking at you. 

You swallowed the lump rising in your throat. You weren't sure if you were angry, sad, or both. All you knew was that you were hurting. The fact he seemed to pay more attention to Talia than you angered you, but at the same time you knew he wouldn't want to make what ever the two of you had obvious to Hux and Pryde. 

"The steak is good," Vicrul muttered beside you. 

You couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks Vic," you said, a little louder so Kylo could hear you loud and clear. 

Dinner passed, you decided against ordering a main. Instead you nibbled at some fancy entree, not having any idea what you were actually eating. Kylo's Knights didn't eat; instead their masks scanned the restaurant, being sure to spot any threat to you, or their Supreme Leader. 

You were four glasses of wine in, and without a proper meal, the alcohol was definitely taking a toll on you. Especially wine. You hated wine. But the plan to spill red wine all over the waitress was too good to pass up. 

Kylo ate his steak in silence, he didn't give you a second glance and he didn't attempt to communicate to you. You knew you annoyed him, but you didn't care, because in reality, he annoyed you too; to the point you wanted to take all your anger out on him. 

Kylo was a few drinks in as well. He seemed tired and you weren't sure if it was the alcohol or he was genuinely tired from his day. Either way, you were going to keep him up. 

"So tell us," Pryde swallowed what ever he was eating. It was all too fancy for you. "What was it like being part of the Resistance?" 

You swallowed the red wine you had sitting in your mouth, savouring the bitter taste of bad decisions. 

"I don't know what you want me to say," you shrugged. "I had friends and family with me. I felt like I belonged there. Sure, there were definitely flaws in the plans General Organa had," you felt Kylo tense beside you. "Being their number one pilot was probably the highlight of it all. Losing my parents to Kylo wasn't." The alcohol was definitely taking a toll on you, but you couldn't stop the bullshit from flooding out of your mouth. "Kylo's the reason my parents are dead. He blew them up in the hangar," you hiccuped. 

"Enough." Kylo's hand tightened around the steak knife, the veins and tendons protruding through his pale skin. 

You frowned. "Or what? You'll kill me too?" 

I said enough.

You rolled your eyes. "Stop being so secretive Kylo. I don't understand why you didn't kill me in the first place." You spat before rising from the table. Hux and Pryde's eyes were fixated on you, not only were they shocked at your outburst, but they were entertained.

You really didn't care. 

All you wanted was to be away from Kylo. 

You brushed passed Kylo's Knights, your heels clicking against the tiles as you stormed out. 

The air was still warm and salty as you stepped out of the restaurant, you could feel your skin burning with anger, especially your chest and face. You sensed Vicrul and Ushar behind you. 

"I'm fine, you can go back in." You mumbled, your legs taking you back towards the hotel. 

"Get back here. Now." Kylo was with them, but you didn't care. You wanted to peel your dress off and sulk in the shower for an hour. That's how you were feeling at that point. You might seem petty, but Kylo really hurt you tonight, and unfortunately the alcohol wasn't helping. 

You crossed the street, being sure to keep a good distance between you and Kylo. His Knights trailed behind, close enough that they could step in if need be, but far enough away that they weren't involved. 

You heard your name fall from Kylo's lips in a low growl as he trailed behind you, following your every move through the casino towards the lobby. 

"Stay the fuck away from me," you spat. You knew you would get caught in the elevator with him, and it only angered you more. "Go back to the restaurant, I'm sure the waitress will entertain you tonight." You stepped into the elevator, and he was quick to follow, his face was red with anger, and you were sure your's was as well. 

Kylo's Knights opted for the neighbouring elevator. It was probably their safest option. 

"Is this what it's all about?" He yelled. "The fucking waitress?" 

You swallowed. It was. But at the same time you knew what ever they had was before you. 

"Yes," 

"I fucked her last year, before I even knew you!" His fists clenched as the elevator doors shut. "Grow up!" He stepped towards you, backing you into the wall. 

"I don't care that you fucked her," you lied. "You just let her belittle me in front of everyone!" You fired back. "And you stuck up for her." 

He groaned. "Not everything is about you, Princess." He ran his fingers through his hair. For a moment, you were mesmerised, but then you remembered that you were fighting. 

The elevator doors opened to your floor and your stormed out. "I'm well aware Kylo, but I would've thought you'd at least defend me." You blinked away tears. You knew you were being irrational, but you knew deep down you would defend Kylo with every inch of your soul. 

Even if it killed you. 

"Stop being ridiculous," you could hear his heavy footsteps behind you. "Grow the fuck up, stop being such a brat." 

"A brat?" You spun around to face him. He stopped dead in his tracks. "Kylo I do everything you fucking tell me to do. You rule my whole fucking life." 

"You don't. That plan of yours about the Resistance?" He stepped towards you. "It won't work, maybe if you'd just think for once in your pathetic life, you'd realise how stupid it is!" His deep voice echoed off of the walls. 

Did he really just call your life pathetic?

You turned back around to open the door to your hotel room, barging through as rage coursed through your body. You hadn't noticed Kylo had followed you inside until he slammed the door behind him. 

"Get out," you growled, making your way to your bedroom. You wanted to get out of your dress. 

"Listen to me," Kylo was right behind you. "You know I can't have Hux or Pryde knowing about us—"

You rolled your eyes. "Why? What would they do?" Your voice cracked as you tilted your head back slightly, using the Force to pull the zipper down on your dress. The material pooled at your feet and you stepped out of it. You were left standing in your lingerie, your lightsaber still strapped to your thigh. 

"I—" Kylo began to yell, but nothing came out. Instead he was mesmerised by your body in the lacy black one piece you had bought during the day. You turned to face him, looking up at his tall, broad figure. His chest rose and fell in an uneven pace as his eyes wandered around your body. His eyes were almost black, and his cheeks were a rosy pink. 

You swallowed. "You what?" You crossed your arms, entertained that he had lost track on what he was going to say. 

When he didn't answer, you stalked towards him. Your heels were still strapped to your ankles, so you were at least able to look at him without craning your neck. 

"I want you." He muttered after a brief moment of silence. His eyes raked down your figure, his breath ragged against your face. You weren't sure if it was from anger or lust at that point in time. All you knew was that you wanted him, too. 

"Lay down." You jerked your chin towards your bed. 

You wanted to show him what he was doing to you. You wanted to show him how much he was hurting you. Hell, you wanted to show him how you felt about him. But it wasn't going to end the way he was hoping for. 

You were going to make him hurt. 

Just like how he hurt you. 

He reached for you, but you pulled your wrist away and tilted your chin towards the bed again, this time he was shoved into the mattress by the Force. 

"Princess—" 

"Shut the fuck up," you growled, crawling on top of him. Without the alcohol, you would've never done this. Not to him. "I'm going to fuck you—"

"Hux and Pryde had left, if they hear below us—"

"Don't make me fuck you on the floor," you hissed, your hands finding the buttons of his shirt. You pulled at the buttons, ripping open his shirt. You didn't have the patience to undo one button at a time. You leant down and pressed your lips to his neck, before sinking your teeth into his flesh. He groaned and reached up to grasp your hips, but you grabbed his wrists and held them above his head. "You don't get to touch me." You sucked at the skin you had just sunk your teeth into, noticing the slight metallic taste against your tongue. You hadn't realised you broke his skin. 

"Your playing a dangerous game here, Princess." He growled, writhing beneath you, his hips lifting to try and connect to your own. You rolled your eyes and leant back, straddling his strong thigh. 

"I'm fucking you for my benefit," you ground your hips against his thigh, relieving the ache of your clit. "This is for me, not you." You placed your hands on his abdomen, watching as the slab of muscles tensed beneath your touch. His lips were parted as he watched you ride his thigh. He so desperately wanted to touch you, but you wouldn't let him. 

You wouldn't give in that easily. 

"Princess—"

You reached up and wrapped your hand around his throat. It was almost pitiful how small your hand was compared to his neck. "You don't get to talk, either." 

"Fuck you," he spat, and you squeezed the flesh around his neck. A strangled groan left his mouth and his eyes fluttered shut. 

"You like that, don't you?" You smirked to yourself. Normally Kylo is the one tormenting you and choking you, now the roles were reversed. And you had to admit to yourself, seeing Kylo submissive underneath you was driving you insane. You picked up your pace, the lace of your lingerie pressing against your clit as your rode his thigh. You could feel how wet you were. "Where's the remote?" You were breathless. 

Kylo slowly reached down to his pocket, pulling the small remote from his trousers and pressing a button, and soon enough the balls inside you were vibrating once again. 

"So naughty," he groaned, but you brought your hand away from his neck, only to slap him across the face. He was shocked at what you had just done, but his cock twitching against your thigh showed that he was enjoying it. 

"You like it when I hit you?" You moaned. Your quick steady pace against his thigh and the balls vibrating against your walls was bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. "You sick fuck," you hissed, before cracking him across the other cheek. Another moan left his throat and you couldn't help but clench around the balls. 

"Let me fuck you, Princess." His eyes were wild as he watched how you were starting to wet the leg of his trousers. "You're dripping." He panted. 

You shook your head. "I'm going to cum on your thigh, then I'm going to cum on your tongue," you groaned, your head rolling back as warmth spread throughout your core. "I'll determine when I fuck you, not you." 

The look on his face was priceless. You've never seen him look so dejected and shocked in the whole time you've known him. His dark, bloodshot eyes looked up at you, they were pleading with you, but you weren't going to give in. His lips were parted and occasionally his face would twist in pain. You knew he was hard, and all he wanted was his release. But you weren't going to give it to him. 

"I'm going to cum," you whimpered, your fingers dragging over his chest. 

"You'll regret this—" Kylo growled but you cut him off by slipping two of your fingers into his mouth, gagging him. You felt his tongue swirl around your fingers as he sucked back on them, a low groan vibrating from his chest. 

You couldn't help but cry out as you came, the sensation of the balls and lacy fabric against your clit along with Kylo sucking your fingers sent you over the edge. Your legs shook beneath you as you rode out your high, and Kylo sunk his teeth into your knuckle. You pulled back and frowned. 

"Keep this up and you won't be cumming at all tonight," you bent down and cupped his face, brushing your thumb over his lips. 

"You think I'm threatened by you?" He smirked. "You can't resist me." 

You scoffed before straddling his chest. "I don't think you're in a position to be firing bullets." You reached over and pressed the button of the remote, stopping the balls' vibrations. You could feel how soaked your lingerie was, not only with cum but with your own sweat. "I want you to eat my pussy until I cum again," you gazed down at his head between your legs. You were mesmerised by the sight of Kylo's dark locks splayed out around his head.

"Beg me for it, Princess." 

You frowned and pulled away. You knew once he had the taste, he wouldn't say no. You chewed on your cheek before you rose to your knees, still straddling his chest before pushing your lingerie to the side. You pulled the balls out of you and you gasped at the sensation. You felt empty. 

You held them out to Kylo and smirked. "Clean them." 

You knew what you were doing was wrong, but Kylo's dark eyes gazing at the glistening balls told you he wanted it just as much as you did. 

You brought them to his lips and he opened his mouth. You pressed the balls into his mouth and he wrapped his lips around them, sucking the cum off of them. You couldn't help but gawk as he shut his eyes and groaned as he savoured the taste. 

The taste of you. 

"You're disgusting," you pulled the balls from his mouth and tossed them aside before straddling his face. "I can see how hard you are, I bet you're aching to be inside me, aren't you?" You grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged on it, another groan left his throat. "

"Fuck, Princess, stop this," he hissed. "Let me taste you, I want your pussy in my mouth," he nuzzled the side of your thigh with his nose and hooked his arms around your thighs to bring you closer to him. 

"Beg for it," your voice cracked. You wanted nothing more than to lower yourself onto his mouth, but you didn't want to give in easily. 

"Please," he almost whined as he gazed up at you with pleading eyes. His scar caught the light that was coming through the large window, the sun was setting over Canto Bight once again, casting a golden glow over the two of you. 

"Good," you muttered before you lowered your core towards his face, where he lifted his head and met you half way, his tongue pressing against the soft lace covering your sex. His fingers hooked at the crotch of the lingerie and he pulled it aside before his tongue pressed to your clit. A gasp left your throat as you rolled your head back, relishing the feeling of Kylo's warm lips sucking against your core, his tongue flicking your clit and pressing between your folds. "Fuck, Kylo," you whined. You wanted to keep up the dominant act, but you were already sensitive and close to coming undone again. "I hate you, so fucking much," you whimpered. 

It was true, in that moment you did hate him. He hurt you, and you were almost angry at yourself for letting yourself get this way with him. Any other person would've walked away from him, but here you are, sitting on the Supreme Leader's face after you were humiliated by the waitress he slept with. 

"I don't think you do," he groaned, sucking against your sensitive clit. "Cum for me," you locked eyes with him and you nearly did. But you tried to ground yourself and you noticed the aching in your thighs. You were growing exhausted by the minute. 

You pulled at his hair, trying to steady yourself as your legs shook beside his head. Your hips moved against his face, and lewd moans erupted from your mouth. 

"My Empress." Kylo groaned, his eyes gazing up at you as his hands ripped the fine material between your legs so he didn't have to continue to hold it out of the way. 

At that you came undone once again, your legs jolting beside his head as he sucked at your clit through your orgasm. A primal growl left his throat as your cum coated his chin. His mouth was glistening. 

"Fuck, I liked that one." your breath was shaky as you climbed off his chest, only to straddle his waist once more. Kylo's chest rose and fell at an uneven pace. You could feel how much he was aching, it was almost suffocating. You were exhausted, but you wanted to finish what you started. You had to. "Say it again," you swallowed as you worked at his zipper. 

He sat up and leant against the headboard of the bed, his hands reaching down to help you with his pants. "I'll buy you a new one." He growled. 

"You were doing so well," you shook your head and leant up towards him, dragging your tongue along his scar. You knew it drove him insane. "I don't think you deserve to be fucked," you nibbled at his earlobe and cupped his cock through his pants. He was achingly hard against your touch, and he lifted his hips to try and rid himself of the ache. 

"Don't be a bitch—"

"Don't be a brat," you scolded him, you wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. "If you behave, I'll fuck you." You muttered, pressing wet kisses along his neck. His skin was hot and misted with sweat. He smelt of whisky and it was fucking divine. 

"Fuck, Princess." He groaned. "Fuck me already." He sighed, trying to press up into you. "I need you." 

You smirked against his skin, before sucking hard on the skin covering his collarbone. "Say it." 

He was a twitching and aching mess underneath you, small groans and grunts left his throat as you run your hand over his erection still trapped in his briefs. His face was red as well as his neck, he was growing impatient. 

Good. 

"Fuck—me, my Empress," he gasped. 

"If you ever..." you hooked your fingers around the waistband of his briefs before pulling them down, allowing Kylo's aching cock to spring free. You gazed at it for a moment, admiring how pink and swollen it was as pre cum glistened at the tip. "...let anyone disrespect me like that again," you brought your hips up, grasping his cock and running it along your folds. "I'll make your life hell." You spat before sinking down onto him. A hiss left his throat and he threw his head back as he finally found some relief. 

"You already do," he gasped. "I wouldn't have it any other way—fuck." His jaw clenched as you began rocking your hips against him, his cock pressing against your sensitive walls and cervix. "Good girl." He hissed as he pulled the straps of your lingerie down, exposing your swollen breasts. 

You moaned and grasped at his dark locks. "This isn't for you, remember?" You panted, pressing your cheek to the side of his head. "I'm only using you for my—" you gasped as Kylo's thumb began circling your overstimulated clit. 

"What was that?" He hummed. 

You leant back, placing a hand on his thigh to steady yourself as you lifted yourself off him, only to sink back down again. His cock hit your sensitive walls once more, and Kylo's thumb against your clit was all too much for you. "This is for me, not you." You choked. 

"Just remember, Princess, you're mine—" 

You leant forward again catching his face between your hands. His lips were parted as he panted against your chest, his breath was hot against your skin. You gathered a small amount of saliva before spitting into his mouth, running your thumb over his swollen lips. "You've got it wrong." Was all you said before you kissed him. You smothered his lips with your own, pressing your tongue between his teeth and lapping over his. A groan left his throat and you rocked your hips against him again, a whimper catching in your chest as you felt how deep he was inside of you. 

"Fu—fuck, Princess," Kylo's hands found your waist, but you pushed them away. "Let me touch you." 

You shook your head and continued to rise up and down on his cock, heat was pouring out of the both of you as you neared your climaxes. You were exhausted, physically and mentally. But you needed this, you wanted some power over him. As Supreme Leader, you technically had just as much power as him, but you didn't feel like you did. You just wanted the power to make him give in, make him submit to you. 

You weren't sure if it was the alcohol, but the overwhelming desire for him was nearly choking you. You weren't sure what would happen after the two of you finished. You needed to tell him, if you held off any longer you were sure it would ruin you. In that point in time, you hated him, hell, you could kill him yourself, but that didn't hide the fact you were in love with him. 

You found yourself blinking away tears as warmth pooled at your core, you were going to cum a third and final time. Your legs were aching, and you knew you'd struggle to walk tomorrow. 

"Kylo I'm going to—fuck." You whined, clenching around his cock as your came, you knew Kylo was close too, so you quickly climbed off him. 

"Wait—"

"You don't get to cum in me," you breathed, still coming down from your high. Your whole body ached as you sat back on his thigh once more. His cock was practically throbbing as it glistened in your own cum. "You can finish yourself off." You swallowed the lump in your throat. 

"No—"

"You either finish yourself off or you don't get to cum at all." 

With that, his wrapped his fingers around his length and started pumping himself, various groans and grunts leaving his throat as his eyes bored into your own. You watched as he worked his fist up and down his length, how his muscles tended and flexed underneath his beautifully pale skin. You loved the sight of him, and when he rolled his head back and whimpered your name, you were in fucking heaven. 

"Please," he groaned your name, his eyes were wild as he tried reaching for you, but you used your force to pin his hand above his head once again. "Please let me cum in you." 

"Not happening." You shook your head before leaning forward, bringing your lips to his ear. "Pathetic and weak little boys don't get to cum in me," you hissed, he rewarded you with another groan. The fact that you were belittling him and he was growing more aroused only spurred you on further. "You're so weak you couldn't even kill your own mother when my grandfather asked you to," your lips found his neck, pressing hot kisses against his skin.

"Don't mention my mom," he grunted. 

"You're nothing, Kylo. Everybody is against you." You growled, sinking your teeth into his delicate flesh once more before sucking into his skin. You knew you were taking things too far, and you started to worry about what Kylo would do. "Everyone is against you. Except for me." 

"Fu—fuck," he groaned and twitched beneath you. You felt him cum underneath you, noticing the warmth at your belly as he came on the both of your stomachs. You gasped and gazed down at the mess he made, satisfied that you were the reason for it. He was out of breath, his chest rising and falling at an uneven pace, his face a deep shade of pink.

You smirked before gathering his cum on your thumb, bringing it to his lips. He stared at you for a moment before opening his mouth. You slipped your thumb into his mouth, your aching pussy tingling at the sight of Kylo tasting his own cum. 

A small groan left his throat as he sucked on your thumb, grazing his teeth over your skin. 

"Good," you breathed, pulling your thumb from his mouth. "Good." You repeated before bringing your lips to his, kissing him deeply as your tongue swiped over his own, tasting the tangy mixture of his and your own cum on his tongue as well as whisky. 

After a moment, you pulled away, the both of you panting against one another's faces. You sat like that for a moment before you rolled off him and laid beside him. 

In that moment, everything seemed to feel ok, but you knew it wasn't. Not because of what happened in the restaurant, but you felt like there was so many unspoken feelings swirling between the two of you. You weren't sure if it was best to leave it until the both of you were sober, or bite the bullet now and tell him how you really felt. 

Keeping it from him was only killing you. 

You just weren't sure how to tell him. 

"Princess," Kylo mumbled after some time of silence, pulling the doona over the both of you. "I'm sorry I didn't, you know, defend you." He rolled onto his side so he could face you. "I didn't think it would upset you as much as it did." His voice was hoarse, but he didn't move toward you. 

You swallowed and turned on your side to face him, taking in all of the perfect imperfections of his face. "Let's forget about it," you shook your head, your voice was raspy, too. "No more fighting." You mumbled, and in response, Kylo nodded and took your hand with his own. 

"You really did look beautiful tonight," his eyes met yours, the sunset making his irises turn a golden colour. 

A smile, although sad, Touched your lips. "As did you, Supreme Leader." You reached out and traced his scar with your forefinger. 

You could lay like this forever with Kylo Ren. So peaceful and quiet, as the both of you traced your fingertips over scars and other imperfections on one another. 

You would kill for it. 

"Can I ask you something?" Kylo glanced down at your hand in his as he traced patterns into your palm. Your heart seemed to stop in your chest as his eyes met yours. With a difficult swallow, you nodded. His hand moved from your palm to cup your cheek. "Why have you been so distant lately? What's been bothering you?" His thumb brushed over your cheekbone. Your heart and stomach seemed to flutter in unison. 

"I've just been..." you looked down and shifted beside him. You didn't know how you were going to explain everything to him. "Confused." You frowned. 

"About what?" He shifted closer to you, pulling you into his chest. You could've cried at his simple but sweet gesture. At least now you didn't have to look at him. 

"Everything," you sighed. "Especially us." You began biting at your lip as he tensed against you. You were sure his heart beat sped up. 

"What about us?" His hand that was cupping your face was now playing with the hair at the back of your head. His voice wavered as he spoke. 

After a minute of deciding on what to say, you finally came up with, "what are we?" even though you felt like an adolescent asking stupid question. But you were genuinely confused as to what was going on between you and Kylo. 

Personally, you felt like what ever you had was so much more than what the two of you thought it'd be, but you just didn't know what his take on it was. 

"I don't know," he answered, his voice was soft against your forehead, and it only made your heart ache worse. He didn't know. 

You wanted to cry again, and you did just that. A single test fell from your lashes and rolled down your cheek. You felt almost sick to your stomach about how this whole scenario could play out. Would he leave you if you confessed your love for him? Would he go on one of his usual rampages and kill every living being in this hotel? You had no idea what he would do. But you knew he was capable of fucking anything. 

"I know there's more in there, Princess." He leant back and noticed the tears streaming down your face. For a moment he looked panicked, but as he wiped them away, his face softened as he pressed his forehead to yours. "Tell me." 

You swallowed the bile rising in your throat. You really were nervous. You hadn't noticed your whole body was shaking. 

"I've just been, having these thoughts." You sniffled and tried to bury your head into his chest, but he wouldn't let you. He wanted to know what was going on with you. 

"About?" He brushed a stray strand of hair from your face. 

"Us." You croaked, blinking up at him. His face was still a little flustered, his hair mused around his neck and jawline. He looked so beautiful. "I've been having these thoughts and feelings and I don't know what to do about them." You sniffled once again, reaching up to wipe the tear from rolling down your face once again. 

For a small moment, he was silent. You could hear his heart next to your ear, his body warmth seeming to sooth you, even though you wanted to run from him and never look back. You were terrified to tell him. But you knew you had to. 

"Kylo, I know everything has been a total mess," you shifted so you could look down at him, your elbow supporting you. "I know we got off to a shitty start and everything happened was back then." You muttered. You were so exhausted you were struggling to keep the conversation going. "But I can't hide this feeling. It's eating me fucking alive." 

The buzz of the alcohol was wearing off on the both of you. And honestly, you were losing more and more confidence as the conversation continued. And with Kylo's soft eyes gazing up at you, you struggled with the next three words. They were on the tip of your tongue, but they wouldn't leave your mouth. You sat there staring at him with parted lips, ready to say those three fucking words, but they didn't budge. 

Kylo leant up and pressed his lips to yours, his hand brushing against your side. "You can tell me." He cooed.

You swallowed one last time and shifted away from him. You were worried if you were too close, you might be in the firing line. 

"Kylo," you studied his face, taking in all of the freckles and scars that littered his skin. You memorised how his eyes seemed to glow in the light of the setting sun, and how his dark locks hung around his jawline and high cheek bones. You gazed at his plump pink lips, and remembered how they felt against your own. This might be the last time you'll see his face. And it was making you sick. You sucked in a shaky breath and finally managed to speak. "Kylo, I love you." 

You watched as his jaw tightened, his eyes fixated on you as he released a shaky breath through his nose. You could sense his heart beat, and it was smashing against his ribcage. You could pick up on how sick he felt. You just weren't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. 

"You don't love me," he shook his head, he rolled onto his back and kept his eyes fixated on the ceiling. 

Here comes the heartbreak. 

"Kylo—"

"You don't love me," he repeated, not turning to look at you. "You can't love me." He mumbled. 

"Well, I do." You kept your voice soft, not wanting to start an argument and make things worse. Your heart was aching to the point it was difficult to breathe. 

"If you loved me, you wouldn't be here." He breathed. 

You were confused as to what that meant.

"What?" 

He blinked and shook his head. "Princess," his voice was strained. When you saw a single test run down his scarred face, your heart exploded with relief, and worry. You didn't think that was possible. "Everyone who's ever loved me..." he swallowed and turned his head to look at you, "abandoned me." He blinked away more tears, but failed. Soon, tears stained his cheeks. 

"Kylo I would never leave you." You croaked. 

You were confident that he wasn't going to explode into a violent whirlwind of rage, so instinctively, you crawled towards him and wiped the tears from his face. "I'm not going anywhere." You shook your head. 

"That's what they all said." he huffed and moved away from you to dress himself. You could feel the pain radiating off of him, and it was wearing off on you. 

"I'm not them, Kylo." You swallowed. "The Resistance abandoned me when—"

"They weren't your family." 

You had to hold back the one comment that would've caused an argument. You nearly mentioned the killing of your parents due to Kylo's outburst. 

"I know that. But they were all I had." You felt more tears start to run down your face. "Kylo you're all I have now." You croaked. "And I love you." 

He turned to face you, his face was almost emotionless. "You're the Supreme Leader, you have everything." 

"That's bullshit and you know it. You're the Supreme Leader, not me, I just got given this bullshit excuse to be it. Kylo, you have nothing." You crawled towards him. "And I don't mean it to sound harsh, but I know how much pain you're in. I can feel it. It's fucking suffocating." 

He remained silent as he buttoned the rest of his shirt up. He was leaving. 

"Kylo, please don't go." You were sobbing now, afraid this'll be the last time you'd see him. "You don't have to say it back. I just needed to tell—"

"You didn't have to tell me. It's all bullshit!" He snapped. You sunk back onto the bed. His eyes were red from crying. He looked so vulnerable and it was breaking your heart. 

"Don't do this." You shook your head. 

He turned away from you to leave, but you cut him off. "You're afraid to be loved, aren't you?" He stopped dead in his tracks, his body stiffening at your words. "You haven't felt loved in so long that you turn your back on it." You wiped away more tears and watched him as he turned towards you. 

Pain was written all over his face, and it was killing you. 

Kylo Ren has never been loved. Sure, when he was Ben, his parents loved him, just not enough. You tapped into his mind and found the vivid images of a young Ben, so small and innocent as he played outside with his parents, with Leia and Han. His small freckly face beamed with joy as Chewbacca chased him outside the Millennium Falcon, his dark mop of hair flopping around his face. 

You saw how he grew into his adolescence, how he was always the shy kid at Luke Skywalker's Jedi temple. He was by far the most powerful Jedi at his uncle's temple, and you saw how Luke would watch intently as Ben would train and complete tasks. How he would sit alone in his hut with his calligraphy set while the rest of them would sit by the fire and socialise. 

The image of Skywalker standing over Ben as he slept, lightsaber ignited, ready to kill his nephew made you sick to the stomach. All because Luke thought there was more darkness than light in him. 

You began to wonder what would life be like if you had met Ben Solo and not Kylo Ren, how you may have flown X-Wings together in the same squadron as part of the Resistance. 

You saw how your grandfather manipulated and groomed him from a young age, how he began turning Ben against his family and friends. How he turned him to the Dark side. You knew deep down, there was still a sliver of the old Ben, but he was too far gone now. 

And so were you. 

"Get out of my head." He growled, snapping you back into reality. 

"Kylo I just want you to listen to me." You said. "I know you haven't felt anything since...all that." You crawled towards him once more, rising up to your knees to look up at him. He didn't move when you reached for him. "Kylo, remember when you said that I'm yours? Well, I am yours. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere. But you're mine, too. I need you Kylo." You swallowed the lump that continued to rise in your throat. You were shaking as your hands grasped his button-up shirt. 

He didn't say anything. 

Instead, he took your hands and dropped them in mid air, before turning and leaving. 

He left you. 

And you didn't know what was to come. 

A/N: HEY GUYS!!!!! I know this has taken AGES and I'm so so sorry, it's literally over 12k words, oops. I really hope this chapter was worth the wait. The next chapter will probably be a long one too, but we'll see how we go. I'm sorry if there was any grammar mistakes, I just wanted to get this damn chapter out to you guys hhaha whoops.

I hope you guys are all doing ok and if not, I'm always here if you need to talk ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also here's a really dumb quick edit I made of a tatted Adam HAHAHHAHAH


	23. Chapter 22

Warning: this chapter will contain some serious and questionable dubious content. Kylo isn't going to be nice about it and If you're not into 'group sex' please skim through. I want to make this a safe place for everyone ❤️ 

"You need to focus on your mission, my dear." 

"I know, I'm working on it." 

"Not hard enough." 

"I'm sorry."

Your grandfather circled you as you sat paralysed in his throne. His brass robes fluttered behind him as he stalked around the platform, his hands clasped behind his back. 

"You're weakening, my girl." There was a hint of amusement in his raspy voice, but there was a scowl on his face. "Kylo Ren is the reason for it." 

"He's not." You lied. "I just need to think my plan through." You swallowed and watched in the corner of your eye as he came to a halt. 

"I sense the conflict in you, child." 

"I will finish this Grandfather. I just need time." You clenched your fists to try and stop your hands from shaking. You could barely breathe.

You were trapped, and you were terrified. 

"Kill the Scavenger and Skywalker, and report back to me. We have unfinished business to attend to."

"Yes, Grandfather." 

You weren't sure if it was a dream or that your Grandfather had communicated to you directly. All you remember was finally getting to sleep after two hours of crying, then you were met by your grandfather. 

It felt all too real and personal for it to be a dream. 

And it only sent your anxiety skyrocketing. 

After Kylo had left you, you opted for a shower to try and calm yourself, however it was the mere catalyst for your breakdown. You sat on the shower floor and sobbed until the water turned icy cold and sent goosebumps scattering all over your skin. 

You laid in bed, holding one of the pillows close to your body as you sobbed into it, quietening yourself. 

You knew you shouldn't have told him, but you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief, even if it broke your heart in the end. 

Of course, you were hurting. You didn't know what Kylo was going to do, or if he was going to do anything at all. You wanted him to realise how much he meant to you, and maybe he did, but you couldn't help but feel that you meant absolutely nothing to him. Especially after he decided to walk out on you. You poured your heart out to him, and he left.

Your grandfather was correct in the fact you were weakening. And it was Kylo's fault. You loved him so much that it would often cloud your judgement. You let Kylo dictate what you can and can't do, especially regarding your plan to find the Resistance and get rid of Rey. All you had to do was catch her off guard and kill her. Ideally, the First Order would want you to kill as many as possible, but you don't think you could bring yourself to end Leia and Jackson's life. You had a soft spot for the both of them, and you did have a soft spot for Rey. But after falling in love with Kylo and seeing her taunt him before she tried to kill him; it awakened something inside of you. Something primal, where all you wanted to do was protect Kylo, whether he liked it or not. 

You managed to drag yourself out of bed and dress yourself in the pair of black trousers and the sleeveless top you had bought only yesterday. You then attached your lightsaber to your hip. You hadn't bothered trying to apply make up or fix your hair. In reality, you were exhausted. 

You made the decision to contact Hux on your data pad, requesting that Lexa and Noah were sent down from the Finalizer to Canto Bight. You needed them right now. You needed your friends. 

Speaking to Kylo or his Knights were the last thing on your mind right now. All you wanted was to vent to Lexa about your boy troubles. After all, she had somewhat of a clue about you and Kylo.

After another hour or so, there was a knock on your door, immediately you thought it was Kylo, but you knew better and that he would barge in rather than knock. You opened the door to find Lexa and Noah beaming back at you, but their faces fell when they saw the sad look in your eyes. 

"What's wrong?" Lexa frowned as she stepped inside, Noah following close behind. 

You swallowed and shut the door, taking a quick peak outside to find the hallway completely empty. You weren't sure if Kylo was even in his room. 

"A lot of things." You mumbled as you followed them to the couch. "It's all so fucked." You struggled as your throat tightened. You shut your eyes to fight away the tears threatening to fall from your lashes. 

You sat on the small chair opposite the pair of them on the coach and leant forward, resting your head in your hands. "I told him I loved him last night." You grumbled.

"Wait, who?" Noah frowned. He had no idea about you and Kylo, he just always joked about it. 

"What did he say?" Lexa frowned. 

You sighed. "He left. He said that I didn't love him, that I couldn't love him." Tears were blurring your vision once again.

"What am I missing?" Noah glanced between you and Lexa. 

"Kylo." You and Lexa said in unison. 

Noah's mouth fell open, his eyes darting between the two of you. "What? You and the Supreme Leader?" His voice seemed to crack. "What the fuck? Man." He scoffed. 

"Noah!" Lexa rolled her eyes. "What happened exactly? Why'd he get so upset for?" 

You almost laughed. "Have you met him?" 

She sighed and a sad smile touched her lips. "He's definitely a piece of work, that's for sure."

You gazed at the both of them for a quick moment, just appreciating that they were there with you. They were both in their usual black First Order overalls. They looked good. Especially Lexa, her skin and her hair seemed to almost glow underneath the morning sun shining through the floor-to-ceiling windows. 

"We had a fight," you swallowed. "Just about something stupid, and we had sex after it—"

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Noah gasped. "So I was right! You were sleeping with him!" He laughed. You couldn't be mad at him, you knew he was only trying to lighten the mood, but it did hurt a little. 

"Noah! Enough!" Lexa slapped his shoulder and scolded him. "Then what?" 

You sighed. "Then I told him. I told him how I was feeling, how confused I was. Not telling him was killing me, Lexa, and I can't help but feel relieved it's off my chest, but at the same time i fucking regret saying anything to him." You sniffled and wiped the stray tear from your cheek. 

It was true. It was a strange feeling. You were relieved you had gotten it off your chest, but you couldn't shake the uneasiness you felt after doing so. You knew Kylo would act in a way that would hurt you, you knew it. But you still did it anyways. There was no doubt you'd be seeing Kylo today, apparently another dinner of some sort has been organised, but it sounded more like a cocktail night. 

You found yourself wondering if he'd actually show up, but as Supreme Leader, you figured he'd have to make an appearance, especially since it's technically put on for him anyways. You knew it really wasn't his thing. 

"Fuck, I'm so sorry." She frowned and reached over to take your hand. "What are you going to do now?" 

"I'm going to go through with my plan for the Resistance, whether he likes it or not." You swallowed. "I need to finish what my grandfather asked me to do." 

She nodded and a small smile touched her lips. "Well, we're always here for you if you need." She reassured you, her green eyes sparkling underneath the morning sun. 

"I just can't believe you've actually been sleeping with him." Noah was still lost for words. "Is he big?" 

You rolled your eyes and couldn't help but laugh as Lexa smacked him again. 

"Big enough." You giggled. You felt like a child but it was good to have them there. You needed the company and the laughs, and they would be the ones to give it to you. 

+++++

The day dragged on and you spent most of your day with Noah and Lexa. You even managed to leave the hotel and find a nice little restaurant for lunch. 

You made sure that when you left your room that the hallway was clear. You really didn't want to see Kylo that early during the day. You figured after a few drinks tonight at the party it would be a bit more bearable to see him. You honestly had no idea where he was, but you didn't want to try and communicate to him either. He probably wouldn't have responded anyways. 

You gave the left over credits Kylo had given you from the day before to the pair of them, so they could at least buy a decent outfit for the event. You were glad Hux agreed to letting them attend, even though you gave him more of an order than a request. 

You spent the evening getting ready for the party, and you made sure to take the time with your makeup and hair. You put a bit more effort into your appearance this time round, going for a smokey eye and even applying some eyeliner. 

You chose to wear the burgundy sequence dress you had bought yesterday, along with the burgundy lingerie you also purchased. You didn't need the bra, seeing as the dress was backless, but you still wore the panties and strapped your saber to your thigh. It wasn't for Kylo. It was for you. You wanted to look and feel good, this wasn't for him. 

You agreed to meet Lexa and Noah in the lobby before the three of you headed over to the bar, and as you exited your room, Kylo's Knights lined the hallway. 

They were waiting for you. 

You couldn't help the tingling feeling running over your exposed skin as their heads turned to look at you, the air seemed to thicken in an instant. 

"I don't need you to escort me," you swallowed as you walked passed them. "I'm going with my friends—"

"It was an order from Master Ren." Vicrul spoke, his scythe hanging lazily over his shoulder. 

You stopped in your tracks, before turning to face him. "You can tell your Master that I don't need to be escorted." You muttered. 

He stiffened in front of you and shifted on his feet. "You know I can't do that." 

You rolled your eyes and continued down the hallway, stepping into the elevator to head down to the lobby to meet Noah and Lexa. You could sense the presence of Kylo's Knights lurking behind you, giving you enough space to allow you some breathing space, but close enough that if you were in any danger they could intervene. 

You couldn't sense Kylo when your were in the hallway. You weren't sure if it was because he wasn't there or he was simply shutting himself off from you. Either way, you didn't really care. You knew after a few days he'd come back with some stupid reason for leaving, and you knew you would be just as stupid to forgive him. As soon as he left, you knew you should have cut ties then and there, only see him as the Supreme Leader and your teacher. But you knew that simply wouldn't happen. You were in too deep now, and there was no way you were going to give up so easily. 

The elevator door opened and you instantly spotted Noah and Lexa waiting patiently in the lobby. The both of them were sitting on one of the rounded couches, chatting amongst each other. 

Lexa was in a black pencil skirt that stopped just above her knee, along with a black long-sleeved blouse to go with it and stilettos. Noah was in black trousers and a white button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to show off his masculine arms. You found out this morning that him and his boyfriend had broken up, obviously tonight he was hoping to find someone new. 

"Well, look at you." Lexa smiled as you walked over to them, your heels clicking against the marble floor. "You look stunning, babe." She smiled. Her make up was light and her dark hair was pulled up into a neat bun. 

"Thank you, you guys look amazing." You smiled. "Should we get going?" You glanced behind you and spotted Kylo's Knights exiting the elevators. 

"Where's the Supreme Leader?" Noah frowned as he glanced behind you, taking in the sea of black that slowly approached you. 

"Don't know. Don't care." You shrugged. 

His eyes widened. "He must've really pissed you off, huh?" He laughed as he rose to his feet, Lexa soon followed. 

"Oh my god, Noah." She huffed. "Do you know when to shut the fuck up?" She rolled her eyes. 

You laughed. "Don't worry, let's just go. I need a drink anyways." You said, trying to ignore the dark presence looming behind you. You could feel Kylo's Knights' eyes roam your body, and how they all seemed to struggle to remain composed. It entertained you, if anything. Kylo would be so pissed off about his Knights fretting over you. You thought about teasing them.

But there were six of them. 

And only one of you. 

+++++

Noah, as per usual, was slamming down his cocktails at a stupidly quick pace. He was three or four in and you were still on your first. 

The bar was quiet and dim. It screamed wealth as the marble columns circled the main bar, gold lights illuminating the dim room. The smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol filled your nostrils, and it was making your head pound a little. The floor was a dark carpet, marble tiles surrounding the main bar. Tables and chairs were situated on the perimeter of the bar, allowing the guests to sit and have meals in between drinks. You hadn't left the bar with Noah and Lexa. 

You watched as Imperial officers entered the venue, some still in their uniform, some in dress pants and shirts. Each of Kylo's Knight's stood against a marble column, their eyes never leaving you. Even though you couldn't see their faces, you knew that their attention was on you at all times. You couldn't help but shift occasionally as their stares made you grow rather uncomfortable. You didn't want to be babysat. 

Kylo still hadn't arrived, and an hour into sitting down at the bar and sharing a few small entree dishes between the three of you, you figured he wasn't going to show up at all. Not that you cared. You didn't really want to see him. You didn't want the heartache of seeing that gorgeous face. If you did see him, you would probably slap him right across his pretty little face.

"Stop worrying about him." Lexa nudged you, sipping on her second glass of sparkling water. 

You frowned. "I'm not." You shifted on your stool, adjusting your dress. "How come you're not drinking?" You took another sip of your electric blue martini. 

She hesitated for a moment, before leaning in towards you. "I think I'm pregnant." 

You scoffed and some of your drink dribbled down your chin. 

"What?" You wiped your face with the back of your hand and settled the glass back down. "When did this happen? I didn't know you were with anyone?" 

"It was more of a one night stand thing," she sighed. "I feel so stupid. And I haven't told him." She pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. 

"Who is he?" 

"Just another nurse. We were both drinking after our shifts and next thing I know we're back in my quarters." Her cheeks flushed at the thought. 

You really have been missing out with your friends. You've been so caught up with Kylo and your grandfather that you have almost completely cut them from your life. You felt guilty because that's what you weren't trying to do. 

"Is this a congratulations or an oh fuck scenario?" You turned towards her and took her hand. Her green eyes seemed to glaze over for a second before she blinked her tears away.

"I don't know yet." Her voice was a little strained. 

You nodded. "Well, what ever you choose to do, I'll support you no matter what." You smiled and squeezed her hand. "Does he know?" You tilted your head to Noah who was talking to some random man that appeared out of nowhere. 

She nodded. "Yeah he knows." She took another sip of her drink and sighed. "It's a mess—"

"Ah, Supreme Leader." 

You spun on your stool, only to find Hux standing before you. Surprisingly he was dressed in black trousers and a white button up shirt. You would've thought he'd be one to remain in uniform. 

"Hux," you nodded. 

"Is Ren here yet?" He frowned. 

"I haven't seen him, so I guess not." You shrugged. "Have you spoken to him during the day?"

He shook his head. "Nobody has seen him." 

You swallowed. Either he was locked away in his room or he was out in Canto Bight alone causing havoc. You were hoping it was the first option. 

"I haven't seen him all day either, Hux. I wouldn't worry too much." You wish you would take your own advice. You couldn't help but notice the nauseating feeling creeping into your stomach. What if he was hurt? 

"You look—um, nice." His pasty white skin seemed a little pink when he half heartedly smiled at you. 

"You don't look so bad yourself, General." You smirked back. 

The low rumble of people and humanoids conversing in the bar seemed to silence itself. Glasses stopped clinking, chairs stopped moving and everybody seemed to have frozen over. 

You quickly realised why. 

Kylo had entered the bar, dressed in similar clothing that he wore yesterday. Except this time, his sleeves were rolled up, exposing the pale muscle of his forearms, and he didn't wear his gloves. His hair wasn't as tidy as it was the day before, in fact, you noticed how unkept he looked. He even had light stubble around his chin. 

But why did that make him all the more captivating to look at? 

"Ah, there he is." Hux mumbled, breaking the deafening silence. 

His eyes met yours in an instant, and you could see how tired they were. He hadn't slept last night. 

That makes two of you. 

The low rumble inside the bar came back to life, and everything seemed to go back to normal. 

"Supreme Leader." Hux tilted his chin towards Kylo. "We need to speak about the Resistance. They've been spotted in Canto Bight this morning." He said in a 'matter of fact' tone. 

You sighed and downed the rest of your drink before standing from your stool. Lexa and Noah glanced at each other, then to you. "I'll try be quick, I'll speak to you guys soon." You nodded. Talking about the plan was the last thing you wanted to be doing, and knowing you had to converse with Kylo was making it so much worse. 

You followed Hux towards the table Kylo had sat himself down at. Pryde was beside him drinking some strange looking drink. 

"Can we make this quick?" You huffed as you sat beside Hux. You didn't want to be anywhere near Kylo. 

"We need to discuss how you're going to go about this plan. What happens if it goes to shit?" Hux clasped his hands on top of the table, glancing between you and Kylo. 

"This plan won't be going ahead." Kylo's voice sent chills up your spine. He sounded almost detached. 

Did telling him you loved him fuck him up this bad? 

You frowned. "Kylo, I've already told you how I'm going to go about this—"

"And I've told you that it won't work." His eyes met yours in a quick glance, before he turned to Hux. "After tonight, we're leaving. We're going back to Starkiller, and we'll come up with something else." He lifted his crystal glass to his lips, pouring whisky into his mouth. 

You were worried that whisky was the first thing he had consumed that day. 

"I don't understand why you bring me here to discuss a plan when all you do is disregard anything I have to say." You huffed before standing from the table. Kylo's dark eyes roamed your body, before lifting to your gaze. You couldn't help but notice the low hum of anger radiating off him. Or was it lust? You couldn't tell. Either way, he looked like he wanted to devour you.

"That's not what this is at all—" Hux began, but you cut him off. 

"I know Hux, you're not the one doing it. It's this asshole." You spat, glaring at Kylo. In all honesty, you wanted to kill him. The way he was sitting there silently staring at how your body looked in the red sequence was driving you insane. 

"Enough of this bickering," Pryde chimed in. "If we're planning on destroying the Resistance, we need to hurry up and come up with a plan now." He huffed. 

"I agree," you nodded, not taking your eyes off Kylo. You noticed that his fist was clenched beside him as he swirled his drink in the other. 

The three men exchanged different ideas, occasionally asking for your opinion. You didn't know why they bothered, because they would find a way to tear it to pieces and mention how your opinions were somehow wrong. 

All you knew was if you were faced with the Resistance, you would simply give yourself to them. Pretend that you're running from the First Order. You would tell whoever you encountered that Kylo was forcing you to stand with him, and that you wanted no part of it. 

You would simply shut your mind off from Rey and Leia, if anything, you would give them what they want to hear. You knew it was dangerous, and you knew it would be hard to win the both of them over, but it had to be done. 

Kylo stalling any longer could lead to serious repercussions, and you were worried that if Rey didn't get to him in time, your grandfather would instead. 

"When the three of you come up with a plan let me know," you sighed, standing from the table. You didn't look at Kylo, but you could feel his eyes on you. You were waiting for him to say something, but he remained silent.

The night dragged on and you continued downing the cocktails provided by the bar. You needed alcohol to get through the night. You couldn't shake the feeling of dark eyes piercing through you, and you knew it was Kylo, the entire fucking time. Since the discussion at the table you hadn't given him a second glance. Instead, you drank with your friends, and even Hux was joining in. You hadn't realised how much Hux was drinking, and you were starting to enjoy drunk Hux. 

He was quite entertaining. 

"So you and Ren?" He slurred, his cheeks a rosy pink from the amount of alcohol he was consuming. "Is it a thing?"

You rolled your eyes. "No, General. And even if it was, it wouldn't concern you." You took another sip of your drink. "What about you? Have you got anyone?" You fired back.

He finished his fifth whisky and placed the glass on top of the granite bench. "No, I don't have time for relationships. I'm too busy." He ran his fingers through his copper hair, shutting his eyes for a brief moment. "Ren is such a pain in the ass to deal with." He groaned. 

"Tell me about it." You scoffed, noticing how your body shuddered at the thought of him. You hadn't seen him, in fact, you thought he left early. 

But that was until you spotted him in the corner of the bar, two women curled up on either side of him. Although he seemed uninterested, you knew he was doing this to get a rise out of you. 

And it was fucking working.

You had to refrain from shattering the glass in your hand as his eyes met yours. You were quick to turn away. You noticed how Hux was staring up at you, his eyes were a little bloodshot due to the alcohol he was consuming. 

You glanced between Hux and Kylo, a stupid thought swirling around your mind. You knew the consequences weren't going to be good. 

But you didn't care. 

"Come dance with me," you placed your glass down on the counter, holding a hand out to Hux. He definitely wasn't your type, and it's not like you had any chemistry with him. 

That's why it was going to infuriate Kylo who was still sitting at his table drinking his fucking whisky while the other two women swooned over him. 

"I don't think that's appropriate—"

"Just come and have one dance with me," you rolled your eyes and took his hand, pulling him up from his seat. "Have fun for once, Hux." 

A shy smile touched his lips as you dragged him over to where the other people had gathered and swayed to the slow music. You felt bad, using Hux just to get a rise out of Kylo. But you knew Hux would be too drunk to remember what was about to happen. 

You could feel Kylo's dark eyes burning through you, but he remained silent. Normally he would've told you to stop fucking around, possibly give you a migraine to go along with it. 

You took Hux's hands and placed them on your hips before reaching up to his shoulders. It was awkward, you admitted to yourself. The two of you could just pass it up as being friends. Even though the two of you butt heads, at least he's not trying to have you killed anymore. 

"This really isn't my thing," Hux slurred, his cheeks bright pink. 

"Oh, don't worry, me neither," you laughed and swayed against him. "But I figured whilst we're here we should have some fun." You shrugged, glancing over Hux's shoulder towards Kylo. 

If looks could kill, you would've been a bloody heap on the floor by now. His glare sent chills down your spine, and the way he was holding the steak knife in his hand was starting to worry you. He watched you intently, twirling the knife against the top of the table whilst his other hand held his head up, his elbow placed on top of the table. You could see his eye twitching from across the room. 

"So what are your thoughts exactly on the Rebel situation?" Hux brought you back to reality. You pulled your gaze away from Kylo to meet Hux's hazel eyes. 

"Whether Ren likes it or not, I'll be going through with the original plan." You shifted your grip on Hux and turned slightly, so Kylo was in your peripherals. "Don't tell him that though. I'll kill you." You frowned. 

He chuckled. "You're pretty stupid to think you could get away with it without him knowing." 

"Maybe so," you shrugged, "but at the end of the day I'm doing as my grandfather asked of me. I answer to him, not Ren." You tilted your head and swayed against Hux to the music. 

"Maybe we should make you our one and only Supreme Leader. You seem to be more level headed than Ren. He's a mess." He raised an eyebrow. 

Although hearing Hux talk about Kylo was making you uncomfortable, you couldn't help but lean in. Only because you knew Kylo was on the edge of his seat watching you be so close to Hux. The anger radiating off him was choking you. 

Kylo hurt you, and he's continuing to do so. 

Now it was your turn. 

You pressed your lips to Hux's. 

Surprisingly his lips were soft, tender, even. The taste of whisky made it all the more alluring. He was taken back at first, in fact you thought he might've pulled away. But he didn't. You knew it was the alcohol. If he was sober he would've slapped you or something. 

He closed his eyes and pressed into you, deepening the kiss. Although you hated it, you were loving the reaction Kylo was giving you. You could feel the rage radiating off him, it was almost making your bones rattle. You opened your eyes and spotted him, his exposed chest was red with anger, and you were sure you could see veins protruding from his neck. 

He wasn't happy. 

You pulled away and smiled up at Hux. "I don't think level headed suits me, General." You giggled, moving the red strands of hair that fell in his eyes. "But thank you." 

He was breathless against you, his hands still on your hips. "Right." Was all he mumbled. 

"Good talk, Hux," you smirked before pulling away from him, leaving him in the middle of the small dance floor. You made your way back to the bar, Lexa and Noah hadn't moved. 

"Did you just fucking kiss General Hux?" She hissed. 

You ordered another drink, and sat beside her. "Yeah. But I had a reason." You tilted your head over to Kylo who still had two women sitting beside him. 

She glanced over in his direction. "Oh." 

"Yeah. Oh." You huffed, taking a sip of your cocktail. The sweet alcohol was starting to leave a foul taste in your mouth. "I'm not hanging around for much longer, these drinks are starting to make me feel sick." You mumbled. 

"You've had about six already," Lexa frowned. 

That would explain it. 

"He's still looking at you," Lexa mumbled. 

"I know." You could feel his gaze on you. 

You were hoping he would at least say something. But he remained silent. The only thing you knew was that he was pissed. But, he had nothing to be upset about. You told him you loved him, and he left you. He can't expect you to sit and wallow in your sorrows, can he? Even though you desperately wanted to hide away from the world and cry over him, you knew it wasn't worth it. 

Another hour passed and the alcohol was starting to make your head spin. Lexa agreed on taking you back to your apartment. Noah had already left with the man he was talking to earlier on in the night. 

The Imperial officers were slowly leaving the venue anyways. Hux had already left, and by the looks of it, so had Kylo. His Knights were nowhere to be seen, which surprised you. Maybe you kissing Hux has lead to Kylo losing all interest in you after all. You knew he wouldn't leave you without his Knights. 

But then again, he was full of surprises.

You entered the lobby, your arm locked with Lexa to hold you steady as you stumbled towards the elevators. You desperately wanted to get your shoes off, your feet were aching. 

"You're so drunk," Lexa giggled. 

She wasn't wrong. You don't remember how you come to drink so much. But you were still sober enough to remember kissing Hux. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol or the thought of him but it had your gut reeling. 

The elevator opened to Lexa's floor. 

"Will you be ok to get back?" 

You nodded. "Only a couple more floors above you. I think I'll manage." You smiled. 

She stared at you for a moment. "Ok. Stay away from the commander, I don't think he's too pleased with you." 

Before you could respond, the doors shut and you began ascending to your floor. "He never is," you mumbled to yourself, your heart aching at the thought.

When the elevator doors opened once again, you were greeted with an empty hallway. You quickly leant against the wall, taking off your heels so you could walk down the hallway without stumbling and risking falling on your ass. 

You found yourself glancing at Kylo's door as you passed it, before rolling your eyes. He probably had the two women in there that were hanging off him earlier. The thought of it made your heart thump against your ribcage. It would kill you if you found he had slept with one of them, or both. But you knew how temperamental he could get. It wouldn't surprise you. 

You opened your door, not bothering to switch on any lights. The moonlight coming through the large windows was enough to light the room up. The bedroom was still shrouded in darkness after you decided on closing the curtains before you left. 

You stepped into the bedroom, tossing your heels to the floor. 

"Took you long enough." 

Your heart skipped a beat and, instinctively, you reached for your saber and ignited it, the red glow illuminating the room. 

At the end of your saber was Kylo's throat. 

His voice was so hoarse it sounded almost foreign to you. 

"Get out." You spat, keeping the saber pointed at him. You didn't want to back down. It was too late in the night to be dealing with his bullshit. 

"Get that out of my face," he growled. The red plasma licked at his skin, and the red glow in his eyes made him look almost demonic. 

You guess he kind of was. 

"Kylo I don't want to do this now. Get out." Your voice wavered. He stared at you for a moment in silence, the only sound in the room was your ragged breath and the hum of the lightsaber. 

"Put it down." He swallowed. He wasn't nervous. He was testing you. And it was working, much to your disgust. You were just too tired to fight with him. You retracted your saber and threw it aside, before you turned your back to him to head into the ensuite. You needed to get your make up off, you needed to just sleep. After last night you were lucky to have slept for an hour. 

"I'm not gonna fight with you, Kylo." You switched the light on and winced at how bright it was in the bathroom. "Just leave. I don't want to hear it." You huffed as you leant towards the mirror. Some of your mascara had been smudged. 

"I'm not here to fight." You heard his voice from the bedroom. There was movement, and soon, he was in the bathroom with you. You moved away from him, glancing at your reflection and how Kylo towered over you. He had unbuttoned his shirt a little more, exposing his chest and collarbones. 

"Then what are you here for?" You spat, taking your eyes off his pale skin that was exposed in his reflection. 

"To tell you how fucking sexy you look." He mumbled. You could smell the whisky on his breath, and when you found his gaze in the mirror, you saw how bloodshot his eyes were. 

"Kylo, you're drunk." You sighed. "Go back to your room." You felt like a mother scolding a child. You had no interest in dealing with his stupid drunk antics. 

"So are you." He purred, stepping behind you. "You're drunk so I guess I don't have to worry about you and Hux, hm?" His hands gripped the bench on either side of you, trapping you against him. You couldn't help but let out a shaky breath as you found his gaze in the mirror once more, his eyes were nearly black, and his scar seemed to redden as he muttered against your skin. "Such a filthy little slut." His breath was hot against your neck. You shuddered.

"What about those two women?" You glared at him in the mirror.

"You know I wasn't interested in them." 

"You let them hang all over you." You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked away from him. 

"Jealous, Princess?" His lips brushed against your ear lobe. 

You scoffed. "Are you?" You found his eyes once again. They narrowed at you and you felt his body tense behind you, anger starting to radiate off him. 

"You think as Supreme Leader you can walk around wearing this..." his hand brushed over your hip,"...and not expect me to want to fucking ruin you?" He growled. 

"Kylo, enough," you mumbled, taking a wipe to clean your face to try ignore him. But it was growing almost impossible not to react to him pressing into you. 

"I could kill you and Hux in an instant." He slurred. 

You rolled your eyes. "Then what are you waiting for?" You scoffed. 

You heard him growl and his hand found your throat, his thick fingers digging into your flesh as he pulled your head back towards his chest. "Don't tempt me, Princess." He hissed. 

You found yourself pressing back into him, you hated how he could make you lose yourself in him. You despised him for it. 

And he fucking knew it. 

"Kylo—"

"You need to remember who you belong to," his lips brushed against your ear as his other hand trailed up the back of your thigh, his finger tips sending goosebumps rushing over your skin. 

"How long are you gonna keep playing this game?" You sighed as his fingers grazed the fine lace covering your sex. "You can't keep doing this to me." You muttered, his fingers digging into your neck a little more. 

"I'll do what ever I fucking want to you." He pushed you forward so you were leaning over the sink once more, his fingers pressed against your core. "You're mine. You need to remember that."

Your skin started to heat up as Kylo pressed you into the counter, his tall and broad frame shrouding you. You wanted him gone. You knew if you had sex with him it'll just hurt you even more. The two of you were drunk. This wasn't real. 

As much as Kylo says that you're his, you never truely were his. 

"But I just can't have you, can I?" You gasped as his fingers pushed your panties aside, before running the pads of his fingers through your folds. He didn't say anything, instead, he pressed his fingers up into you, sending warmth spreading throughout your body. You couldn't help but whimper as he worked his fingers inside of you, his breath hot against your ear. 

"Stop talking," he growled as he pulled his hand away from you, before bringing his fingers to your face. "Look how wet you are for me." His voice was hoarse. This was the most drunk you've seen him, and you weren't sure what he was capable of doing in his state. You weren't afraid of him, you were afraid of what he might do. He brought his fingers to your lips, and instinctively, you opened your mouth. 

You groaned at the familiar taste of your own fluids, and Kylo's fingers sunk back into your throat. You swirled your tongue around his fingers and sucked on them, a low growl vibrating in his chest. "Good girl," he purred. 

There was no denying you wanted him, the soaked panties were a dead give away. Your skin was on fire, and you felt the familiar warmth swirling around your core. You knew Kylo was the same, his actions were becoming erratic as he spun you around to lift you up against him, before striding back to your bedroom. His breath was hot against your chest as he pressed you into the soft mattress, his dark hair hanging around his face. You couldn't help but lift your hips to meet his own. 

"Uh, uh," he shook his head and used his hand to press your lower half back down into the mattress. "Do you want to be fucked with your pretty little dress on, or off?" His lips found your neck once more. And he sucked. Hard. 

A strangled moan left your throat as your fingers found his dark locks. "Take it off." 

"Good." Was all he said before he gathered the hem of your dress and pulled upwards, pulling the dress up and over your head. Your nipples peaked at the cool air and Kylo's lips were quick to take them in his mouth. 

At this point in time, you didn't care anymore. All you wanted was for him to be inside of you. You needed your release. Your cunt was almost clenching for him now. You watched the reflection of him kissing all over your body in the mirror placed up on the ceiling. It was enough to have you writhing for more. More of him. You just needed him inside you. 

"Hurry up and fuck me," you whined, trying to undo his shirt, but he pulled away, a smirk plastered on his face. 

"Oh, Princess," his hand traveled down your body towards your panties. "I'm not gonna fuck you." His voice was thick as he peeled your underwear off your legs. "They are." His voice was barely a whisper. 

For a moment, you were confused. 

But then, all six of his Knights surrounded your bed.

Your eyes widened and you tried to cover yourself, feeling overly exposed to the six men that had entered the room. Kylo obviously allowed them in when he undressed you using the Force. 

"Kylo no," you shook your head, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

"You want to act like a little slut? Now's your chance." He growled before climbing off the bed. You tried to move, but the invisible pressure was pinning you down. Kylo had you pinned down to the bed, and was about to let his men have their way with you. 

You were terrified, but for some fucked up reason, you were turned on by it. Oddly enough, having six of Kylo's Knights who weren't allowed to touch you unless he said so was a power trip not only for Kylo, but for you as well. 

But you didn't know how this would work. And that's what terrified you. You were a little self conscious as their black metallic helmets gazed down at your naked body. You weren't sure whether you wanted them to keep them on or take them off. 

You knew this was Kylo's way of getting back at you. You knew this was to demonstrate his power as Supreme Leader. He had the power over his Knights and you, and he was going to allow them to fuck you. 

But there was a way this could backfire on Kylo, and you knew he would be infuriated with you. 

"You said I had nothing as Supreme Leader." Kylo sat in the small leather chair beside the window, his gaze fixated on you. "I have power, Princess. I can let my men have their way with you, and there's nothing you could do to stop it." 

You tried to move again but your muscles remained in place. Kylo wasn't letting go of you. 

You watched as the Knights shifted beside your bed, they seemed to have inched closer, and you couldn't help but notice the hum of desire buzzing off them. They wanted you just as much as you wanted them. 

"Get on with it then," you huffed, having enough power to turn your head to look at Kylo. "Order them to fuck me." You tilted your chin towards his Knights. 

"Careful, Princess." He leant back in his chair. "Once they have you, they won't be able to control themselves." His fingers brushed over the leather arm of the chair, his eyes fixated between your legs. 

You tried closing your legs to relieve the ache between your legs, but, of course, Kylo wouldn't let you. Your heart was in your throat as the Knights dropped their weapons, heavy metal clanking against the floor, before their gloved hands palmed their growing erections. 

You swallowed, trying to anticipate what was to come. You found Vicrul's helmet, but he wasn't following the other Knights. He remained still beside you, his scythe still cast over his shoulder. But that didn't hide the fact he was still incredibly hard beneath the layers of black fabric. 

"Cardo," Kylo's thick voice broke the deafening silence. "Go ahead." 

One of the Knights to your right shifted to the end of the bed, before slowly climbing on top of you. You tried to sink back into the mattress, but it was impossible. The black mass hovering above you reached down between your legs, the familiar feel of leather brushing against your sex. You couldn't help but gasp at the relief.

"I have two rules," Kylo breathed, and your eyes met. Electricity shot through you as his black irises gazed into yours, not phased by what was happening. "None of you are to cum in her. And she's not allowed to cum unless I say so." Kylo looked away from you, before he stood from the chair to head to your kitchen, leaving you with the six of his knights. 

You whimpered. "Kylo please—"

You hadn't noticed that Cardo had freed his cock, and in a matter of seconds, he was inside you. You gasped at the intrusion and tried to grasp his shoulder to hold him still, but your muscles were still chained down by the Force. You couldn't help but whimper as Cardo leant over you, pressing his cock into your walls. 

Although you were still red hot with embarrassment, all you wanted was to be filled. You clenched around him and moaned, and you were sure you heard a grunt come from underneath his helmet. Warmth began pooling at your belly and spreading throughout your body.

The Knights beside you were growing impatient, and soon, they had freed their cocks and we're beginning to stroke themselves, all except Vicrul. 

Your whole body ached as Cardo thrusted into you, his hands pressing into the mattress beside your head. You were still sore from the previous night where you rode and degraded Kylo. Where you told him you loved him. But you knew you had to do this. There was no getting out of it now.

Kylo returned with a bottle of whisky and he stopped beside you before bending down and pressing his lips to yours in a brief kiss. You moaned into his mouth as Cardo used his hands to press your knees back into the mattress, his cock ramming against your cervix. 

"Be good for them," Kylo murmured before he moved away to sit back down in his chair, twisting the cap off the top of the bottle and taking a swig. You felt the pressure of the Force fade away, and finally you could breathe a little easier. 

Another Knight, Ap'lek you think, signalled to Cardo to move, but he didn't. Instead, he rolled underneath you and placed you on top of him. The muscles in your legs were almost screaming in pain. You could feel Kylo's eyes on you the whole time, so you tried rocking your hips against him, only to be caught by Ap'lek behind you. 

You swallowed as his gloved hand reached around to your face. "Spit." His voice was gruff as he held his hand out. Your face was on fire, and you did as you were told. You gathered saliva in your mouth, before spitting into his palm. 

You wanted to evaporate into thin air. 

The supposedly love of your life was watching you be fucked by his men, whisky in hand. You felt almost humiliated, you knew that's what Kylo was trying to do. He was trying to humiliate you, teach you a lesson for kissing Hux. He knew you were hurting, physically and emotionally, but he allowed them to continue. 

You felt Ap'lek line himself up behind you, and he was quick to push inside of you. Pain ripped through your lower half as he thrusted forward into you. You were completely filled. Both Cardo and Ap'lek were now inside of you and thrusting in sync. 

You tried to stop yourself from collapsing on top of Cardo, but your aching muscles simply failed you.

Black cloaks surrounded you, either beside you or on the bed with you. Ushar knelt beside Cardo and fisted your hair. You couldn't help but moan as he slipped his cock into your mouth. You were in pain, but it was different kind of pain. You enjoyed it. It was pleasurable as Kylo's three Knights filled you, using your body as a simple vessel for their release. 

"You look so pretty like this Princess," you could hardly make out Kylo's voice behind you. Blood was rushing passed your ears and tears were starting to form behind your lashes as Ushar pushed your head further down along his cock. Cardo and Ap'lek continued thrusting into you, their hands rough against your waist as they guided you along their cocks. You only moaned to Kylo in response. 

You would much rather him than his Knights, and you hated yourself for it. Kylo was allowing his men to fuck you and be sat back and watched. 

Where did that leave the two of you? 

Was this the end? Was this the final encounter you'll have with Kylo? Him teaching you a fucked up lesson? 

You hadn't noticed Cardo had pulled out of you, and coated your belly with his cum. His leather fingers dug into your side as he came down from his high. You were sure you were going to be bruised afterwards. 

"If you ever disrespect me again," Kylo muttered, you glanced at him as he took another swig of whisky. He had already drunk a quarter of the bottle. "Your punishment will be a lot worse." 

You pulled away from Ushar, licking your lips to gather the drool that had accumulated at the corner of your mouth. "Fuck you, Kylo." You grunted as Ap'lek thrusted into you once more. You shifted as Trudgen positioned himself beneath you. 

"It amazes me how three men can be fucking you," Kylo stood on wobbly legs as he made his way towards you. "And you can still run your mouth." He growled, before bringing the back of his hand across your cheek. 

You heard the sound before the burning set in. You whimpered and caught yourself on your hands beside Trudgen's head. 

"They're making you a drooling fucking mess, baby girl. It's pathetic." Kylo fisted your hair, his lips twisted into a devilish smirk. 

Trudgen shoved himself inside of you, finally filling the empty void within yourself. You gasped as he began fucking up into you, his pelvis brushing against your clit with each thrust. "They fuck me better than you ever could." You moaned, before taking Ushar's dripping cock back into your mouth. 

Kylo's eyes darkened, and you thought for sure he would slap you again. But instead, he sat back down in his chair, adjusting his trousers to relive the pressure building at his crotch. "We'll see." 

Through teary eyes you could make out Vicrul standing against the wall. He hadn't moved from his spot. And he still wasn't touching himself. You frowned for a brief moment before Ushar thrusted forward into your mouth, earning him a gag from you. 

With Ap'lek and Trudgen both fucking into you at a quick pace, your orgasm was starting to build in your belly. Your legs shook as you tried to hold yourself up and your cunt clenched around Trudgen's cock. You were so close, and you whimpered on Ushar's cock. 

"Stop." Kylo ordered, and both Ap'lek and Trudgen pulled out of you, leaving you completely empty and gaping open for more. A single year feel from your eye as Ushar continued fucking your throat, earning him another gag from you. "She doesn't get to cum yet. She hasn't earned it." Kylo took a long swig from the bottle of whisky. It was now half empty. 

You groaned on Ushar's cock as your building organs soon started to dissipate, leaving your core aching for its release. At that, Ushar pulled his cock free from your mouth, his leather fingers wrapping around the head of his member as he stroked himself through his orgasm. Semen splattered on your face and chest as a low growl erupted from his chest. 

You knew this night was far from over. Your body ached, not only from the previous night of strenuous activity, but you ached for Kylo. You wished it was him instead of his Knights. You wished it was just you and him, everything back to a certain normal. 

"Vicrul," Kylo tilted his head towards your naked body. "Your turn." 

"I won't be doing that, sir." His voice was like ice. "I want no part of this." 

You reached up to try and wipe away Ushar's cum that began dropping from your face. Vicrul's response to Kylo surprised you, and you were worried how Kylo would take it. Especially in his drunken state. 

"I'm ordering you—"

"I'm not going to do that to her, sir. I'm sorry." 

You glanced down as Kylo's fist clenched around the neck of the bottle. 

"Kylo don't—" 

He threw the bottle towards Vicrul, and with the strength you managed to build up, you stopped it from colliding with him. You held it in the air, the liquid vibrating inside the glass. 

"Continue." Was all Kylo said, and for a moment, you were confused. That was until you were full again. The pleasurable pain was back, and you lost all concentration on holding the bottle. Instead, it shattered to pieces, shards of glass and whisky spraying both Kylo and Vicrul. 

Your plan pretty much backfired. 

"Stupid girl." Kylo growled. "This is all you're good for. Getting fucked like the whore you are." He stood and reached around your throat, ripping your head back towards him. Both Knights' cocks continued to fill you, their thrusts growing sloppy and erratic. "You're loving this, aren't you?" His lips brushed against your earlobe. 

As much pain as you were in, you did enjoy it. 

You nodded. "Y-yes." Your voice was hoarse. Kylo let go of you, staring down at your naked body. The way you looked getting fucked by his men was captivating to him. 

You glanced to Vicrul. He hadn't moved an inch. You almost felt bad for him. 

In fact, he was probably the only Knight you were keen of. "Vic," you whimpered as Ap'lek pulled out of you. The unmistakable sensation of cum landing on your back made you shudder. "I want you to fuck me." You couldn't believe what was coming out of your mouth. 

He didn't say anything as he shifted on his feet, his helmet gazing down at you. You could feel the desire burning off him. It was suffocating. Once Trudgen had finally pulled out of you, you collapsed into the mattress as he moved away from you. You were exhausted, but you wanted Vicrul. 

Kuruk had already came into his palm. Obviously watching was enough to make him cum. So Vicrul was the only one left. You noticed Kylo had sat back down in his chair, his large hand palming his erection through his trousers. "You heard her." Was all he said. 

For that moment you wish Kylo wasn't there. You pitied Vicrul. He seemed to genuinely care about you. The other Knights, not so much. It was their duty to protect you, but you were like prey to them when Kylo allowed them to have their way with you. They used you as a simple form of release. Vicrul on the other hand, he seemed different from the rest. He seemed to genuinely care about your well-being. And that made him all the more alluring to you. 

"Vicrul, please," you cringed internally as you rolled onto your back, forgetting you were covered in cum. You probably weren't the most attractive sight to Vicrul, dripping wet, covered in his colleagues' cum. And the fact that his master would be watching him was enough to make his stomach churn. 

"Fuck her, Vicrul. Make her cum for me." Kylo's eyes were heavy as he splayed out in his chair. You were sure he could fall asleep any minute from then on. You were surprised he could still talk. 

Vicrul hesitated for a moment before he advanced towards you, climbing on top of your naked and abused body. You could already feel the bruises forming in your flesh. His hand found the zipper of his trousers, and, reluctantly, he pulled his cock free. It was impressive. 

"Take your helmet off," you whispered. "I want to see your face." 

He shook his head. "I can't, Master Ren would—"

"I don't give a fuck what Ren thinks," you reached up and your fingers found the sides of his helmet. As you began to pull at his helmet, he pressed his cock between your folds and filled you. "I—fuck," you groaned and your grip fell from his helmet to his back. Your hands grabbed at the cloak covering his back, his scent intoxicating you. 

You found it somewhat ironic that Kylo was pissed off about you kissing Hux, yet he encouraged all six of his men to fuck you while he watched.

You clenched around Vicrul's cock, pleasure building at your core once more. Somehow Vicrul managed to hit all the right spots inside you, and it was driving you insane. You knew it wouldn't be long until your orgasm took over you. 

"She feels good, doesn't she?" Kylo slurred. 

Your eyes rolled back, not knowing whether it was because of Kylo constantly annoying you or because of Vicrul's cock pressing against your cervix every time he thrusted into you. 

"Fuck," Vicrul's voice was tight and gravelly through his helmet. 

You brought your legs up and wrapped them around his waist, his cock burying deeper inside you, if that was actually possible. Warmth started to look at your belly once more as Vicrul's pelvis brushed against your clit over and over again. You were close. And judging by Vicrul's erratic and stuttering movements, so was he. 

In the corner of you eye, you watched as Kylo continued to lazily palm his cock through his trousers. He looked delectable, but you quickly glanced back up at the black helmet hovering above you. "You feel so good, Vic." You moaned. "You fuck me better than Kylo ever could." You smirked. You weren't done tormenting Kylo. He'll probably forget this ever happened anyways. He was completely wasted. 

"I beg to differ, Princess." Kylo growled from beside Vicrul. Your eyes met his, and it only sent more sparks flowing through your body as your brewing orgasm reached the surface. 

"Fuck, I'm gonna—" before you could finish your sentence, an overwhelming burst of pleasure surged through you, causing your body to convulse beneath Vicrul. Your cunt clenched around his dick, milking him as he continued to thrust into you. Lewd moans escaped your mouth as Vicrul fucked you through your orgasm, Kylo still beside you watching intently. 

"Good," Kylo's voice was thick, tired even. "Remember who you belong to. Remember how much power I have over everything, Princess." He growled. 

Vicrul shuddered and pulled out of you, coating your belly in his own semen. His breath was ragged against your face, his palms pressing into the mattress beside your head. "I'm sorry." Was all he said as he gathered himself and climbed off of you, joining the rest of the Knights. They were quick to exit after that, leaving you covered in their seed on your mattress. Your body ached, your head pounded. You were a sweaty and sticky mess and all Kylo did was stare at you. 

"You happy with yourself?" You breathed, trying to find the motivation to get up and shower. But your body simply wouldn't follow suit. 

"Extremely." Kylo muttered. "Maybe next time you'll think about your actions." He said, standing from his chair. "Clean yourself up." His eyes wandered your battered figure before he exited your bedroom. Then you heard the door to your apartment shut. 

Kylo Ren had left you alone once again. 

+++++

You managed to drag yourself to the bathroom to clean yourself off, you wanted to collapse in the shower, but decided it was best to quickly wash yourself and get into bed. 

But your sheets were obviously stained from Kylo's Knights. 

You groaned and stripped the bed, but for some reason, you weren't tired enough to sleep.

The conversation at the bar between you, Hux, Kylo and Pryde played along in your head. How they would dismiss your plan to find the Resistance, especially Kylo.

Thoughts continued to swirl around your mind, how the plan would go ahead, how you could manipulate them into thinking you were on your side. 

You knew the First Order were planning an attack on D'Qar. But you needed to know what the Resistance were planning. You knew Rey and Leia would be hard to crack, Hell, Rey would be the one trying to tear you open. You knew it would be difficult, but you knew you had to try. In order to prove yourself to the First Order and to your grandfather. This was for him, not Kylo. Not anymore. 

Kylo walking out on you was expected, but it still hurt. It split your soul in two, knowing he could allow his men to completely ruin you and proceed to walk out without checking to see if you were ok. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat as tears formed behind your lashes. You wouldn't let them fall, though. You were sick of crying over him. You needed to get the fuck over his childish acts and get the job done. Clearly Kylo wasn't going to do it, so it was up to you. 

Sighing, you decided to pull on your trousers and sleeveless tunic, strapping your lightsaber to your thigh. You didn't feel like wallowing in bed alone. Instead, you decided to leave the hotel, being quiet enough not to wake the potentially sleeping Knights and Kylo. But something was telling you that you could cause absolute havoc in the hallway and Kylo wouldn't wake up. He was so heavily intoxicated that he stumbled from your room to his. 

You found yourself wandering the streets of Canto Bight. It was stupidly late at night, so the streets were quiet. The dim street lights seemed to relax you as you silently wandered around Canto Bight, your hand never far from your lightsaber in case you needed it. Who knows what or who was out to kill you now that you're considered the Supreme Leader alongside Kylo Ren. 

A sudden rush of warmth hit you like a brick wall, stopping you in your tracks. It almost knocked the wind out of you. You couldn't explain what it was, but it was almost as if a wave of familiarity hit you. Your mind swirled and your hands trembled beside you. 

"Hey, mate." 

Your breath caught in your throat as you spun around, a sad smile cracking your lips. 

"Jackson," 

"What are you doin' out here?" He took a hesitant step towards you, his green eyes glinting underneath to dim street lights. 

"I could ask the same about you." Your voice cracked. Fuck sake, you thought. 

"Heard there was potential threats on Canto Bight. Looks like they were right." He nodded. 

You looked down. Now was your chance. You just hoped Jackson would take the bait. As much as it was killing you to lie to him, you had to do it. For your grandfather. 

"Jackson," you glanced up at him, tears forming behind your eyes once again. Much to your surprise, they weren't fake. He stepped towards you again. 

"What's happened, mate?" His hand reached out and touched your shoulder. You choked back a sob.

"I want to come home." 

For once, you weren't lying. 

A/n: hey guys!! Sorry this took a while and I know it was pretty shit. I'm sorry I'm starting to run low on motivation for this book but I PROMISE I'll finish it because I hate leaving things incomplete. I'm sorry if there's any silly mistakes in this chapter I've been working on it of a night and I'm literally exhausted every time I get into bed.

I'm going to be super busy as I've started a new job and I'm finishing up with uni for the year as Australia opens up. So my life has been quite hectic lately. 

I'm hoping to have my next chapter up before Christmas, but if not, I hope you all have a good and safe Christmas and New Years ❤️

Also I'm planning a new AU fanfic (after this is completed) about Kylo and Ben as TWINS (not the same person) just thought I'd let ya guys know. I haven't written anything but it's definitely in the works

I love you all xxxx

-Hayley.


	24. Chapter 23

Quick A/N!! 

This chapter will have both Kylo and your POV, but I want to try and make Kylo's a third person POV just to see what it's like. To me it seems a lot easier. But we'll see how we go. If you guys don't like it obviously I'll change back to Kylo being in first person POV in the further chapters.

Kylo

"Ben,"

"No." 

"Ben listen to me—"

"I'm not going to Uncle Luke's. I want to stay here with you and Mom." Tears rolled down the young boy's face. He didn't want to leave his family behind in order to seek out the Force with his Uncle. Ben would've much rathered trained beside his mother and father. With his mother, he would learn the ways of the force, and he would learn how to pilot multiple spacecrafts with his father. 

But that simply wouldn't happen. 

"Ben, you're much stronger than your mother. She can't teach you. Luke is the only way." Han stepped towards Ben, his hand gripping his bony little shoulder. Ben was much smaller in his adolescent years. Much smaller than the rest of his friends. 

"I don't want to leave you, Dad." Ben gazed up into his fathers eyes, tears continuing to spill from his eyes. Dirt covered his face, his cheeks a rosy pink colour after playing with Chewbacca outside the Millennium Falcon. 

"I know, son. But this is the only way." Han brought his son in for a reassuring embrace. But it only made Han shatter. "I love you, Ben." 

Kylo awoke with a start, his heart pounded against his ribcage and sweat misted his skin. He had only managed to discard his shirt the previous night. He was still in his trousers and shoes from the night before. As he sat up, the room began to spin. Nausea overcame Kylo as he rose from his bed and headed to his bathroom. 

Alcohol erupted from his mouth as he retched over his toilet, his matted hair falling in curtains around his eyes. His body was on fire as his stomach contents emptied into the bowl, but you were still the only thing on his mind. 

Kylo flushed the toilet and wiped his mouth, finding his reflection in the backlit mirror. He was pale, dark circles remained under his eyes. He looked far from healthy, and the hangover definitely wasn't helping his case. After you told him you loved him, he seemed to lose all control over himself. Kylo knew what it was like to be loved, but everyone who ever loved him disappeared. He murdered his father under Snoke's influence. As much as it killed him to murder his own father, he had to do it to please Snoke. His father sent him away, that should've been a good enough reason to feel no remorse. But it split Kylo's soul in two. His mother simply gave up on him, sent him away to his uncle purely because she didn't want to be responsible for the mistakes Ben may have made. And from there, his uncle tried to kill him while he slept. 

Ben's whole family turned their back on him. And no matter how many times they told him that they loved him, he never believed them. 

Snoke was different. Although he coerced Ben to the Dark Side, he was always there as Ben Solo grew into Kylo Ren. He was always there when Kylo required guidance throughout life. 

Not his father. Not his mother. Snoke. 

It was always Snoke. 

But now, it was you. 

Kylo knew getting close to you would cause havoc in his life. He knew he would get distracted. But no matter how hard he tried to push you away, you kept coming back. You managed to crawl right back into the depths of his mind. Every time he closed his eyes he saw you. He saw all of you. He saw you at your most vulnerable, as well as your most powerful. 

When he found out Snoke was your grandfather, Kylo knew he was treading on thin ice. Sleeping with you was one thing that he hoped the Supreme Leader wouldn't find out about. But he knew he had to train you. You were strong with the Force and you needed to learn how to wield it. Although you picked it up pretty quickly, there was still so much more you needed to learn. 

Kylo undressed himself and stepped into the shower, ice cold water beating down on his burning skin. A heavy sigh left his chest as he pressed his palms against the tiles, allowing the water to cascade down his back. 

He felt something for you, but he was too afraid to admit it. He didn't want to feel anything for you. But he simply couldn't resist you. He was fascinated with you. Hearing those three words come out of your mouth terrified him. All he could think about was his family. How they told him they loved him, but turned him away anyway. He was petrified that you would leave him. It would kill him to lose you. But Kylo didn't know how to react. He was renowned for losing his temper, abusing his power to get what he wanted. And he did just that. 

Last night killed him. He could feel your pain as his Knights took over your body. He knew you were uncomfortable with it, but you pushed on. And it showed how strong you really were. He knew you were trying to infuriate him, and it was working. He was trying to break you, but you simply wouldn't give in. Kylo couldn't contain himself as he watched his Knights use you. It drove him fucking insane how you could take all of them with no effort. 

You were driving him insane. 

You.

Kylo dressed himself in his usual tunic and trousers after he finished in the shower. He felt like shit. He was exhausted. The two days in Canto Bight were supposed to be for the two of you to have some fun. But there was none of that. It was just constant heart ache. You told him you loved him, and he pushed you further away. 

He hated himself for it.

He knew he had to try and talk to you. But his rage always got in the way. He figured it would be best to get it over and done with before they headed back to StarKiller base. 

Kylo gathered his belongings, attaching his lightsaber to his hip. He had left his helmet on the Command Shuttle because he knew you hated it on him. 

He exited his room, shutting the door behind him. He walked across the hall and stopped in front of your door, noticing the door was cracked open. 

He immediately began to panic. 

He charged inside, lightsaber ignited to slay the potential threat. But he found nothing. The hotel room was empty. He called to you, hoping to hear your voice come from the bedroom or bathroom. 

But it never came. 

He put his lightsaber away, his heart starting to hammer against his ribcage. When he wandered into your bedroom, he noticed all your dresses were still in the wardrobe along with other belongings. He barged through the bathroom door, only to find nothing once again. 

His hands began to shake as he paced back and forth, anxiety beginning to course through his body. He ran his fingers through his hair, his fingers trembling as he did so. 

He marched out of the room, throwing his hand out to slam open the doors of the Knights' rooms. They were already aware that their Master was distressed. They stepped out of their room, their weapons readied over their shoulders. 

Kylo didn't have the courage or the energy to order the Knights. All he could manage was two words. 

"Find her." 

+++++

"I don't know how Rey is gonna react when we get back home." Jackson mumbled, pulling the visor down on his helmet. 

"Who knows?" You sighed in the spare X-Wing beside him. The both of you communicated through your radios, giving each other quick glances. You were surprised Jackson let you fly back home with him. 

You found that home for the Resistance was on Crait at the moment. The Resistance liked to move around rather than stay in the one place all the time. You told the First Order that they're on D'Qar, thinking they hadn't moved yet. 

Now you're going to have to try and convince them to go back there in order for them to be obliterated. 

"What's changed?" Jackson's voice was crackly in the static of the older X-Wing radios. 

You frowned and glanced over to him. 

"What's made you want to come home?" 

You swallowed. "I've always wanted to come home. I just couldn't. None of you come to save me." You turned away from him. You weren't lying. 

"I heard you saved him from the attack at Takodana?" 

"I had to," you quipped. "It's our job to protect him on duty. If I had of let him die there, they would've killed me too." 

He remained silent. "He's hurt you, hasn't he?" 

You felt your heart ache. You could only imagine Kylo's reaction to finding you missing from your room. You just hoped he wasn't killing innocent civilians trying to find you. You weren't interested in making contact with him. Not until your duties were complete. Send the Resistance back to D'Qar and kill Rey. It's what your grandfather wants. 

"He has." Was all you replied to him. 

The two of you entered Crait's atmosphere, the white planet was almost blinding to look at as you descended towards the mountain. 

"Follow me and land beside me." Jackson accelerated slightly, pulling in front of you. You did just that, and followed him through the large metal opening into the mountain. 

You had no idea why the Resistance would want to set up base on Crait. It was basically a wasteland. 

After the two of you landed, crew people began to surround the two X-Wings, obviously confused as to why there were only two of you landing. 

There were a few other Resistance pilots on Canto Bight, but they had other duties to attend to in other systems. 

You climbed out of the hatch and your boots come in contact with dirt. 

Almost every Resistance crew member were staring at you. You guessed the all-black outfit and lightsaber attached to your thigh was a dead give away.

Jackson stood beside you, before he took your arm and began walking you through the crowd of people and droids. 

"Is this really necessary?" You hissed, trying to pull your arm away. His grip only tightened as he sent you a quick glance. 

"Trust me on this one, mate." He murmured as he escorted you towards an old dusty room towards the side of the caves. "Leia will want to see you." 

The air was thick inside the cavern, you weren't sure if it was the lack of clean air or the fact you could sense the tension radiating off the Resistance. They all knew where you have been. They must all know that you saved Kylo from the attack at Takodana. 

As the pair of you rounded the corner, you came face to face with Leia and Rey, and Rey was far from impressed. 

"What is she doing here?" She hissed, standing from her chair. "Why isn't she dead?" 

"She wanted to come home—"

Rey couldn't help but laugh. You remained quiet beside Jackson as Leia made her way over to you. 

Seeing her face again made your heart skip a beat. You were nervous. You didn't know what was to come. Your breathing was shallow as she approached, her sad tired eyes gazing over your body. 

"What has he done to you?" Her voice was soft, her face set in a sad frown. 

Your chest was tight as she reached up, touching your face. You were quick to shut your mind off from the pair of them. You didn't want them catching on to your plans. 

Although this all was a lie, seeing Leia and Jackson was enough to hurt you. You did miss them. You missed everyone. But they all turned their back on you. They allowed you to live on Starkiller with the Supreme Leader to buy them some time for their own plans. 

You didn't say anything, but you figured the tear rolling down your cheek was enough for Leia to understand. 

"Leia we can't have her here. What if the First Order are looking for her?" Rey chipped in, but Leia raised her hand to silence her. 

"I'm sorry." Her voice was soft as her eyes met yours. 

You weren't sure what to say to her, instead you nodded, acknowledging her apology. 

"We need to interrogate her, you know how I've been getting better at it." Rey huffed, her eyes sending chills up your spine. She was livid. You knew if it were just the two of you, she'd be trying to kill you. 

"Leave us," Leia glared at Rey. "You too Jackson." 

Before Rey could protest, Leia raised her hand to silence her once more. 

"Leia," your voice cracked. You were starting to get overwhelmed. You thought you could go through with this. But seeing Leia again has hit something deep inside of you. Almost as if seeing her has brought back some of the light that may have been left inside of you. But you couldn't let that happen. 

She brought you into a warm embrace, and it was there where you cracked. You wrapped your arms around her small frame as more tears spilled down your cheeks. 

"Tell me what's happened." She cooed, sitting you down at the small table in the corner of the room. 

You didn't know where to start. You kept your walls up regardless. 

You didn't want to tell her that you loved her son. It would seem suspicious for you to be coming back to the Resistance. 

You decided on telling Leia majority of the truth, that you were taken after your X-Wing crashed all those months ago. When the Resistance didn't bother coming to look for you. You told her about the awful things Kylo did to you, minus the sex. You told her about how you were forced to work for the First Order, and that if you didn't cooperate then you would've been killed. It was difficult to lie to her as she gazed at you with her wise eyes. It's almost as if she could see straight through your bullshit. 

You were worried she could. 

"It's been torture, Leia." You whimpered. Bringing up everything had upset you to an extent, and it only reminded you of Kylo and what he was doing with you gone. It made you remember how he treated you after you poured your heart out to him. 

"I should've sent pilots out sooner." She shook her head. "I can sense the change in you," the way she said your name broke your heart. She knew what was going on with you. You were sure she would catch on and have you killed. If she knew you had been coerced to the Dark side not only by her son but by your grandfather, what was worth saving, then? 

A shaky breath left your chest, another tear rolling down your cheek. "I didn't want this. I never wanted any of this." Your voice was strained through tears. "The First Order are planning an attack on Crait, you all need to leave." You sniffled, wiping the tears from your face. "D'Qar would be your best bet." You swallowed, your eyes not leaving hers. 

"How do you know this?" She frowned, her wrinkles more prominent now. 

"I've been asked to sit in on the meetings. They discussed destroying a few planets in the outer rims. They didn't say anything about D'Qar." You shook your head and clenched your jaw. You hated lying. But it's what you had to do.

Leia remained silent for a moment, her eyes never leaving yours. Rey's name fell from her lips, and almost in an instant, Rey entered the room, her boots clanking against the tiles. "See if she's lying." Leia stood from her chair, giving you one last glance before she exited the room. 

The air inside the room was a lot thicker now that Rey circled you. You didn't want to fight her. Not yet. All you had to do was fill your mind with random thoughts that'll distract her from the truth. You were able to shut Kylo out, so you figured it wouldn't be hard to lead Rey astray either. 

"I should've killed you when I had the chance." She spat. "When I saw you take Kylo away, I knew you were too far gone." She shook her head and reached her hand up towards your face. 

"If I didn't save him, they would've killed me." You growled back, your hands balling at your sides. You knew you couldn't attack her. It's not the right time. 

"You're lying. I can see passed all your bullshit." She hissed, before flexing her fingers. The familiar ringing in your ears was back, it was much the same as what Kylo used to do to you. You were quick to fill your mind with thoughts that would distract her from the truth. Rey couldn't find out about the First Order's plan. 

Your head pounded as you showed her the visions of you being held captive, how you were bound by chains and nearly assaulted by one of the workers. You didn't show her the memory of Kylo killing him and taking care of you afterwards. You wanted to make him look evil, how everyone perceived him. 

You showed her how you soon became one of their pilots, how you struggled to shoot down X-Wings on Starkiller. That wasn't a false memory. You remembered it clearly as you and Kylo bickered back and forth in the cockpit before he took over. You didn't have the guts to take down fellow X-Wings. 

Rey's face seemed to soften for a moment as that memory played through her head. She almost seemed to acknowledge the pain you were put through. 

But that didn't last long. 

Instead she dived deeper into your mind, her hand flexing and twisting in front of your face. Your body ached all over as the ringing in your ears grew louder and louder. You felt nauseous as you swallowed the lump back down your throat. 

"What else do you want from me?" You managed through clenched teeth. 

Rey tilted her head, a confused look plastered on her face, before she pulled her hand away. The ringing in your ears stopped and you could finally breathe again. You still felt sick. You knew Rey was strong but you underestimated how strong she really was. You felt weak after she assaulted your mind.

You had no idea what she saw, but you didn't give away the First Order's plans. You were too busy pushing away those thoughts that you lost track on what Rey could actually see. 

Rey stepped away from you, her eyes scanning your body once more. You couldn't help but feel uneasy. You wanted to know what she saw. 

"What?" You gulped down a lungful of air to try and ground yourself. 

"I knew you were with him." She said plainly, her gaze searching your face. "It was so obvious." 

You swallowed. "I had to, he forced me—"

"That's not what I saw," she slowly walked around you, her hands clasped behind her back. "You love him." 

"He was the only person who gave a damn about me on that fucking ship." You spat. "I didn't want any part of it." 

"There's something else," her eyes gazed over your body, but before she finished, She stepped out into the narrow hallway, calling Leia back inside. In a matter of moments, Leia was by her side once more and Rey was leaning down and whispering something into her ear. 

By the look on Leia's face, she was in shock. 

If only you knew why. 

+++++

Kylo

Kylo was at his wits' end. He had tried multiple times contacting you through the Force, but you weren't strong enough to pick up on his presence. His Knights raided every single building trying to find answers as to where you may be. But they found nothing. 

Kylo was ready to obliterate the planet in which he stood on. He was in a frenzy trying to find you. 

He tried to hide the terror in his voice when he ordered his Knights and other stormtroopers. The one thing he was terrified of happening has blown up in his face. He had lost you. After all of the fear and anger about his loved ones abandoning him, you had done exactly that.

He was broken. He was not only angry that you had left him, but he was heartbroken. General Hux had informed Kylo that you may have taken off on your mission without telling him, and the smug look on Hux's face made it all the more gut wrenching for him. 

Kylo had ordered crew on the Finalizer to find out if there had been any recent Resistance activity, but they found nothing. 

He only hoped that you were safe. If anything were to happen to you he wouldn't be able to live with himself. He was angry with himself after letting the Knights use your for their own pleasure. He knew you were hurting, and he wanted it to hurt you. Because in reality, seeing you kiss Hux in front of him killed him. 

Kylo and the rest of the First Order ascended from Canto Bight, leaving the city in utter chaos as they skipped back towards the Finalizer. 

Kylo paced back and forth in his Command Shuttle, his fists clenched at his side. He was growing more and more erratic by the minute. He had changed back into his usual attire, his cowl brushing against his legs. 

"Get that nurse, she must know something." He barked to one of the Stormtroopers. 

He figured she would have an idea seeing as his Princess spent most of her time with her in the bar. She had to know something. 

Kylo just wanted to know that you were safe. It would put his mind at ease. If only you were strong enough to give into the Force and answer him. He just needed to know where you were. He needed to hear your voice. 

In a few moments, a stormtrooper came back with Lexa. She looked terrified, most likely due to the fact she didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. 

"Did she mention anything about where she was going?" Kylo's voice was hushed. Normally he would talk down to other crew members, but he needed answers. 

"No, sir. I wasn't aware of any—"

"Don't lie to me." He warned. 

"I'm not lying, sir. She didn't tell me anything. I have no idea where she is." Her green eyes were dull as she glanced down at the floor, then back to Kylo. "All I know is she was pretty keen on her plan for the Resistance. Maybe try and find some information on where they are, and maybe you'll find her." 

Kylo exhaled through his nose. The nurse was right. If he were to find anything on your whereabouts, he needed to find where the Resistance were located. He remembered you saying they were on D'Qar, but he knew the Resistance liked to move around. 

Kylo knew he had fucked up. Pushing you away was the last thing he wanted to do. But hearing you say 'I love you' broke him. Not only because he was terrified of losing you like his parents, but because he loved you, too. He didn't know how to say it, or explain it. But you were the first and last thing on his mind each and every day. You made him feel complete. He needed someone that built him up, and although he had weakened slightly, it was for the best. 

He had to try and hide his smile when he saw you in public. He adored you. He wanted nothing more than to treasure you and keep you safe. 

But now he couldn't. 

And it was tearing him apart.

A/N: a much smaller chapter than the previous ones, and I know it's not the most exciting but I promise it'll get better now that we're passed this. I know it jumps all over the place but I wanted both parties POV in it. 

I just wanna wish everyone a merry Christmas and a happy new year. After Christmas I'm leaving for New Years and I may not have any service so I won't be writing as much. I'll try my best though! 

I also wanted to say I have published the disclaimer for my new Kylo/Ben AU titled 'Torn'. You can find it on my profile. 

Basically it's an AU where Kylo and Ben are actually twin brothers and the reader is torn between the two of them with some drama in between. I'm not sure whether to start writing the first chapter now or wait til this one is finished. But the book is there if you wanted to add it to your library ❤️

I love you guys! 

-Hayley xx


	25. Chapter 24

Warnings: violence/death 

It had been two days since you arrived on Crait. Leia and Rey decided it would be best to keep you locked away while they came up with a plan to evacuate the planet. They occasionally came to see you, asking different questions to get a better picture on what the First Order were planning. But you never gave them the real answer. You often found yourself wondering if they believed you at all, but when you watched from the small window, movement within the cavern, you were almost certain they were taking the bait. 

Jackson had only come to see you once, as he was busy with the maintenance of his own X-Wing. There wasn't anybody to help with maintaining the aircrafts, and he ranted about it to you for almost an hour. 

For two long days you tried to find things to occupy yourself with, but with only a chair and a shitty mattress on the dirt floor, there wasn't much you could do. Rey had decided on confiscating your lightsaber, much to your disgust. But you allowed her to take it. You had no energy to fight her. 

In fact, you had no energy at all. You often spent your time in your room laying on the mattress, your body ached and you felt nauseous. Probably because they were hardly feeding you. You hadn't had a proper meal since Canto Bight, but every time you were offered food, your stomach seemed to reject it. 

The dust inside the cavern was beginning to burn your lungs. It was suffocating in there. You didn't know how crew members were out working on the X-Wings so willingly. You struggled to breathe, and it was making your nausea so much worse, to the point you were throwing up in the corner of your cell.

It was only when Leia saw you leaning against the cold cement walls did she offer you a decent meal and a walk outside the cavern for fresh air. 

"I thought my son may have changed," she sighed, her wrinkled skin seemed to glow due to the reflective surface of the planet. "I guess I was wrong." 

You averted her eyes and kept your gaze at your feet. You couldn't bare to look at her. "I thought he did too." You managed. You knew Ben Solo no longer existed. But you really thought Kylo had changed to accommodate you. You really thought that somewhere, deep down inside that stupidly large body of his, that he actually cared about you. Obviously you were wrong, too. 

"I'm sorry for what he's done to you. At first, I could sense the change in him, and how it was wearing off on you," she turned to face you, a sad smile plastered on her chapped lips. You finally lifted your head to look at her. "I know Ben's no longer in there." 

"I'm sorry you lost your son." You mumbled. "I wanted no part in this. Finding out about my Grandfather has terrified me. I want nothing more than to just come home and leave it all." 

You weren't lying there. 

After what Kylo had put you through, you didn't really want to go back. But you knew you had to. If you didn't, Snoke would somehow manage to claw his way back into your life. 

"I know," Leia gazed up at you. "But perhaps, my grandson may be a better man than he ever was." 

You frowned. 

"What?" You turned to face her. "What do you—"

"You didn't know?" 

The concerned look on her face was beginning to terrify you. You felt your blood turn ice cold, yet you felt extremely hot. Your chest was tight and you struggled to find your words. 

"Rey sensed it. She told me." 

Your lips parted, and you thought you would finally find the courage to say something. But, still, you remained silent. Tears pricked behind your eyes and you managed to blink them away. 

You knew you were being reckless with Kylo. You never used any form of contraception, but you always got your period. You couldn't keep track, and with your busy schedule, you simply thought you had missed a few days counting. 

You couldn't have his child. He wouldn't want it, and neither do you. You don't want a child with someone that doesn't love you. You can't. 

"Leia I can't." You shook your head as your tears finally began rolling down your cheeks. "I'm sorry I can't." 

She frowned. "You're telling me you weren't trying for—"

"No!" You scoffed, your mind going into a mass panic. "I never wanted this!" You gestured vaguely towards your stomach. "I'm sorry but I can't have his child. I won't do it. And you should know for a fact that Kylo wouldn't allow it anyways." You choked. 

You had really fucked up this time. 

Leia stood and stared at you. She seemed sympathetic, but she also looked disappointed that you were denying her of having a grandchild. But the harsh reality was that you and Kylo simply weren't cut out to be parents. Especially Kylo. He'd be the kind of father to shake their child to death if they were crying in the early hours of the morning. 

It simply could not happen. You weren't ready to be a mom, and the First Order is no place for a child. 

"I understand," Leia mumbled. "But here on Crait we don't have the medical staff to—"

"I'll work something out." You huffed. 

You didn't know what you could do. Perhaps it'd be safest for you to complete your mission and head back to Starkiller where the medical staff can terminate it. You weren't sure whether to tell Kylo or not. You figured it'd be the right thing to do, but when has Kylo ever done the right thing by you? 

"We're leaving for D'Qar in the next hour or so." Leia turned away from you and gazed into the blinding horizon of the deserted planet. "Thank you for telling us." 

Your heart leapt to your throat. She was being sincere with you, and you were the one leading them to their own demise. "I just want to do the right thing." You swallowed the lump in your throat. "I can stay here in case the First Order—"

"No," Leia's eyes were boring into yours once again. "You'll come with us. You can come home. You can even have your child and raise him the right way." 

"I don't want to be reminded of him." You sniffled. "I'm sorry Leia, but your son is gone. If he was still Ben then it may have been different. But I don't want to be a mother to a monster's child." Your voice cracked as another tear rolled down your cheek. 

All Leia could do was share a sad smile, before she turned and walked back inside the cavern. 

You inhaled a shaky breath, the smell of salt burned your lungs as you collapsed to the ground in a messy heap. You brought your knees to your chest and cried. That's all you could do in that moment. You were so overwhelmed with the fact you were pregnant with Kylo's child. You were stupid enough to sleep with him without protection, and finally karma has come back to bite you in the ass for it. 

If things were going well with Kylo, you might've considered having his child. Seeing a little mini him running around Starkiller did make you feel warm and giddy inside. He would have the same dark hair, shaggy and long flopping about his shoulders. You just hoped he didn't inherit his father's attitude, or yours. The two of you weren't the best mix when it came to having children. You were both too stubborn for your own good, and you could only imagine the nightmare of a child the two of you would create. 

But in reality, you couldn't. War is no place for a child, and having it on Starkiller was a risk in itself. You were constantly under attack by the Resistance, always on the move. As Supreme Leader, you and Kylo simply would not have the time to be there for your child. Not to mention you don't want a child with someone who doesn't love you. You couldn't pour your heart and soul into him and his child if he couldn't do the same for you. Having his child would be the death of you.

After a few more minutes of wallowing in self pity, you rose to your feet and headed back inside the cavern. It was busy with multiple crew people preparing X-Wings and other aircraft for evacuation. You weren't sure how you were going to manage to contact the First Order on the Resistance's whereabouts, or your's. You needed to let them know they were heading to D'Qar in order for them to be ready to obliterate the planet. 

You glanced down at your belly for a brief moment, you still couldn't fathom that you were carrying Kylo's child. 

"Everything alright, mate?" 

You lifted your head and found Jackson frowning down at you, soot and grease dirtied his skin. 

"Yeah," you offered him the best smile you could. But he didn't budge. 

"What did Leia say to you?" 

"Nothing." 

"Don't lie." 

"I'm not. It wasn't anything important." You huffed. You wanted to head back to your cell and sleep. But you knew that wouldn't be happening. "How are we going about this evacuation?"

"Majority of the air craft are ready to leave. I think they're just getting last minute supplies and then we're heading off." He stepped towards you, a frown plastered across his handsome face. "You've been crying." 

You shook your head. "It's nothing major." You rubbed at your tear stained cheeks. "I suppose we should go and get ready then." You mumbled as you tried to brush passed him, but he caught your wrist and spun you back around to face him. He stared at you for a moment, his green eyes scanning your face, before he leant down and pressed his lips to yours. 

Your eyes widened out of pure shock, but for some reason, you couldn't pull away from him. You didn't want to. Jackson was your best friend, you adored him and you had always dreamt of being with him. But you thought he only saw you as a friend, as a pilot part of his squadron. But when his hands cupped your face and he deepened the kiss ever so slightly, you figured he had the same feelings as what you had. 

Your gut felt warm and giddy, you knew deep down that you had always had feelings for Jackson, but you knew you couldn't be with him. It would never work. 

You pulled away from him and let out a shaky breath. "I can't do this. I'm sorry." You whimpered. 

"No, I'm sorry." Jackson shook his head. "I don't know what came over me." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry." 

"Jackson I do care for you. And I always have. I just...it's complicated right now and I don't want you getting hurt." Your voice cracked. You didn't want to get anymore attached to him. 

Because he was going to die. Along with the rest of the Resistance.

+++++

You travelled to D'Qar on the Tantive IV. It felt strange being back aboard the ship beside Leia and Luke. You gazed out of the window, watching as stars flashed passed you as they jumped through space. It was all making you nauseous once again. 

You needed to somehow steal an X-Wing and evacuate the planet immediately. You hoped Kylo was preparing the weapon on Starkiller. You knew you should've kept in touch with him. But you knew that if you did, the two of you would get distracted. 

You needed to kill Rey and leave the rest of them behind. They'll be obliterated when the weapon fires on D'Qar. You knew it would be difficult. Rey had your saber and she had been keeping an eye on you the whole time. You hadn't moved from your seat, and Rey's beady eyes never left you. 

"Are you feeling ok?" Leia's hand found your shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. 

You nodded. "I'm fine." Your voice was barely a whisper. 

She sighed and sat beside you, her weary eyes boring into yours. "He has really hurt you, hasn't he?" She reached and took your hands in her own. Clearly you weren't the best at hiding your pain. 

"I don't want to talk about it." You mumbled, pulling your hands from hers. In reality, a lot of people had hurt you. Leia wasn't innocent either. She allowed you to be kept by the First Order. Jackson was ready to fight to come and get you, but she told them to back down. She knew what her son was capable of and allowed it. 

When you returned to the First Order, you didn't think you could even look at Kylo. After everything he had done to you, you were still madly in love with him. And you hated it.

"I know this has been hard on you—"

You scoffed. "Hard?" You nearly laughed. "You have no fucking idea." You looked away from her and back out into space. 

"I'm sorry I didn't send anyone to come get you. But I really did sense a change in Ben—"

"Ben is dead, Leia. He was never in there, not when I was there." You shook your head and let out a shaky breath. Watching the stars whizz passed was making you dizzy. 

"There's still hope," the way she said your name broke your heart. But you couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth. 

"Leia, he killed his father. How could any mother forgive that? He killed my parents and countless other people. He's destroyed entire planets." You hissed. "If you think there's still hope for him then you're delusional." You stood from your chair, your fists clenched by your side. You needed to get away from them. Being around Kylo for so long, his way of dealing with shit had worn off on you. Leave, or kill. 

You certainly didn't think it was a good idea to kill his mother while Luke and Rey were staring at you. 

"Perhaps when you become a mother you'll understand where I'm coming from." She snapped. 

You couldn't help but laugh. "If you seriously think I'll be having this child, then you're not delusional. You're fucking insane." You spat. She was so determined on you becoming a mother, she really thought you were going to bring his child into the world. 

"Do not speak to Leia like that," Rey's voice hissed from behind you. You rolled your eyes. 

"You're just pissed off that it's not you instead." You growled. Your anger was starting to become harder and harder to contain. You were practically starting to shake with rage. 

You watched as Rey's face twisted into a snarl, before she drew her lightsaber and swung at you, but with the training that you had done with Kylo finally came into play. You lifted your hand and held the saber in place with the Force, the blue plasma crackling beside your face. 

"Girls!" Leia barked. "Enough!" 

Rey's teeth were bared as she tried to push through the Force, but she couldn't. With your other hand, you reached out for your saber, and in a matter of moments, the black hilt flew into your grasp and ignited beside her head, too. 

The two of you stood with your sabers pointed towards one another, the blue and red plasma creating a purple glow in the room. 

In a matter of moments, the two of your were forced apart and thrown into the sides of the ship. You spotted Luke with his hand outstretched, a small smirk plastered on his lips. 

"Enough of this. We're about to land." 

+++++

You tried not to venture far from Jackson, only because he was situated near majority of the X-Wings that had landed on D'Qar. You knew you needed to get out of there. 

Leia let you keep your lightsaber surprisingly. Rey was in a foul mood ever since you had all landed. You knew you had to try and lure her away. You needed her dead. Otherwise, your grandfather would be disappointed in you. And who knows what he would do to you or Kylo. 

You figured it'd be best to lure her into the woods, and hoped to the Gods that she was too angry to think straight. She was powerful, you knew that, but when she was in a rage she was careless. Much like Kylo. 

Figures. 

"I heard you and Rey got into a heated argument," Jackson blurted out as he cleared out his cockpit. "What was that about?" 

You rolled your eyes behind his back. "You want to know everything, don't you?" You huffed. "Just a disagreement with Leia and she stuck her nose in it." 

"What was the disagreement about?" He turned to face you, his hair was mused from wearing his helmet. He flew his X-Wing down with his squadron beside the Tantive IV. 

"Jackson I told you I don't want to—"

"It's about him, isn't it? He's hurt you." 

You gazed up at him and nodded. "Yes, he has. But like I said. I'm done with it. I'm over everything." 

"Are you?" He shifted his stance and crossed his arms over his chest. 

You hated him when he started interrogating you. He always knew when something was wrong. It infuriated you. 

"Yes, Jackson." You sighed, glancing over to your left to find Rey staring at you again. 

She wanted you dead. You knew it. You could sense the rage bubbling out of her. You knew it would be easy to lure her out into a private area. You just hoped you'd be able to defend yourself properly against her blows. You had a feeling Kylo's training had been beneficial, but you had never had to actually use it in a life or death situation yet. 

Kylo

"Sir, we've found some Resistance movement heading towards D'Qar. No sign of the Supreme Leader, though." An officer mumbled.

Kylo stood on the Bridge of the Supremacy, his hands clasped behind his back. He was dressed in his usual black cowl, tunic and trousers, his helmet sitting above his shoulders. He didn't want officials to see how exhausted he was. He hadn't slept properly since his Princess disappeared. He had spent most of his time ordering squadrons to different planets and systems, hoping to find anything. But, there was nothing. 

He had even asked Snoke if he had any idea where you were. But alas, Snoke only tormented Kylo about it. Snoke knew exactly where you were. But he refused to tell Kylo. He liked watching him suffer. He knew he was hurting without you. He knew Kylo would only harness the anger and pain and cause havoc eventually. Snoke knew Kylo could snap at any time and destroy multiple planets just because he had the power to do so. 

Kylo felt so alone as he gazed out into space, into nothingness. He felt so empty with you being gone. He couldn't sleep, couldn't think straight, couldn't eat. It's like a part of him had been ripped away. 

All he wanted was to know that you were safe. 

He figured you had set out on your mission to send the Resistance to D'Qar. He hoped that's what you were doing. He figured it was best to wait a few days and hoped to the Gods that when they arrived on D'Qar the Resistance were there to be obliterated. He just didn't know how to get you back home safely. He hoped you would manage to steal an X-Wing and make contact with the First Order as you left the atmosphere. 

"Alert StarKiller and tell them to prepare the weapon," Kylo spun on his heels, his cowl fluttering behind him. "Tell them to fire on D'Qar." 

"Right away, sir." 

Kylo couldn't shake the nervous feeling pooling in his gut. Since you had been gone he had been so angry with himself. It was his fault that you left. He knew he had hurt you. And at that point in time, he wanted you to hurt. As long as it was you in pain and not him, he felt superior. He had control over you, and he knew if he had control over you, then you couldn't hurt him. 

But that completely backfired on him. 

He had been a mess ever since you had left. He would often train on his own or spar with one of his Knights and tire himself out, purely so he could sleep. But it never lasted long. 

Dreams of you would often be the first thing to come to his mind. How you looked, how you smelt, how you felt, tasted. It was driving him fucking insane not being able to wake up next to you. 

He just wanted you home safe. He wanted to apologise to you. He really did. He knew he fucked up. But hearing you say that you loved him triggered something inside his brain, like his fight-flight kicked in. And of course, he wanted to fight. And it turned you away. 

He wanted all of this to be over. He wanted the Resistance gone. He wanted Snoke gone. He wanted everything to be obliterated. 

But above all, he wanted his Empress back by his side. 

+++++

As expected, Rey had been following your every move around the hangar. Wherever you went, she went. You knew she didn't trust you, and rightfully so. 

But all you could do was lead her further and further away from the crowded hangar into the forest. Jackson had left to grab some supplies to work on his X-Wing, which left you all alone. Leia and Luke were hovering in and out of the chambers of the ancient buildings.

With your lightsaber strapped to your thigh, you made your way through the thick bushes, being sure Rey wasn't far behind. 

Admittedly, you were afraid. You knew you had to kill her, because if you didn't, you would die. She was going to kill you, whether Leia wanted it or not. Your heart was in your throat as you traveled further into the dense canopies, being sure to try and remain quiet and unnoticed. 

The plan was simple. 

Kill Rey, then evacuate the planet without alerting the entire fleet. 

Easier said than done. 

You heard a twig snap behind you, followed by the hum of a lightsaber. 

"You think you can get away with all this?" 

Your grip tightened around your hilt as you turned to face Rey. 

Her hair was a mess, her clothes were covered in muck, and she still held the same scowl on her face ever since she stepped foot on D'Qar. 

"Get away with what, exactly?" You frowned, your lightsaber still disarmed by your side. 

"I've been trying to warn them all that this was a trap," she shook her head. "They didn't believe me."

"That's just unfortunate then," you mumbled as you ignited your saber. "Nobody would ever follow you, anyways. You're delusional." 

It didn't take long for Rey to strike, the blue plasma of her saber was only inches away from your torso as she swung. You only had to step away from her. 

"I see Luke hasn't taught you much since I've been gone." You mused. You figured she'd spend all her energy advancing on you. All you had to do was block her and wait until she tired.

"Fuck you. I had other things on my plate—"

"Trying to kill him?" You growled. "You were always going to fail. You loved him too much." 

In a way, you knew how she felt. You had seen in visions of Kylo's while he was asleep of Rey. How she always stared at him in awe. Even on Takodana when she was close to killing him. She couldn't bring herself to do it. 

"I always knew there was something wrong with you. Something dark." She swung again and you raised your saber to block her blows. 

She was aiming for your stomach. What a coincidence. 

"I never wanted to be part of this." You struck back at her, the red plasma blade barely missing her side. "You all left me there." 

"Leia thought you could turn Ben back. I knew it wouldn't work. All of this has turned you instead." She huffed as she swung again, the plasma whirring around your middle. 

"I had no choice," your grip tightened around your lightsaber, rage coursing through your veins. "I would've been killed if I hadn't surrendered to them." You flicked your wrist, the red plasma blade whirring and spinning beside you. You watched as Rey advanced once again towards you, her teeth bared like a wild animal. 

You blocked her attack once more and came face to face with her as the plasma blades crackled and whined against one another. There was something dark behind her eyes, it wasn't evil. But you knew she wanted you dead. 

"He's only using you," she backed you into a tree, the bark grazing your skin as you smacked against it. "He's too weak to do this on his own so he sent you instead. Pathetic." She smirked. 

"I'm doing this alone," you spat, crouching as Rey swung her saber above your head. You heard a snap and rolled away as the tree collapsed to the forest floor. You hadn't noticed Rey had rushed forward while you were still on the floor, her saber raised above her head. Instinctively you reached out, your hand tensing as you halted Rey in her tracks using the force. You were grateful Kylo had spent his time teaching you.

You swung towards Rey once again, grazing her thigh as she stumbled forward after you let go of her. She yelped in pain and blood began oozing down her leg. You knew you had to kill her. If you didn't, then she most certainly would kill you. 

But your heart still ached as you stared at her pained expression. Your heart was breaking at the thought of your friends and family dying at the hands of you and Kylo. 

You rose to your feet, blood pumping passed your ears as well as nausea bubbling inside your gut once again. 

"I wish you died in that crash," she hissed. "None of this would've happened." She panted, blood now coated her white trousers. 

You huffed. "Me too."

You swung at her again, but in your efforts she managed to flick her saber up and slice into your arm. Pain shot through you like electricity, the smell of burnt flesh and blood filled your nostrils as you quickly gazed at your wound. She had managed to slice up under your arm towards your shoulder. You couldn't help but cry in pain as you swung at her once more, your saber being driven into the forest floor by Rey's. 

You groaned as pain shot through you once again as you tried lifting your saber, it definitely didn't help that it was your dominant arm that was injured. When you thought you had her, Rey knocked your saber from your grasp and flicked her wrist upwards. The blue plasma blade whirred and you had no time to react. 

The blade sliced from your breast to your face. 

All you could manage was a pained cry as you fell backwards, your vision was blurry, and you could feel the blood running down your face. All of a sudden you felt extremely dizzy. 

"Such a shame," she laughed. "He won't be able to see what I've done to you." She tilted her head, her lightsaber pointed at your throat. "Matching scars. Cute." She smirked. 

You gasped for air, trying your best to locate your lightsaber, but to no avail. Perhaps you underestimated her. 

You backed away from her, your hands raised in a surrender, but you were silently calling for your lightsaber. "Rey I—"

"There's nobody here to save you," she hissed. "Nobody will know that you're gone." She raised her saber once more to strike. 

You glanced behind her, watching as your lightsaber flung into your grip before you ignited it. 

Straight through her chest. 

At first you were numb. You felt absolutely nothing. But when you saw Rey's eyes wide with pure shock and pain, your heart fell to your stomach. Rey attempted to speak, but instead blood spluttered from her mouth. 

You backed away from her as she fell to the floor, blood continued to ooze out of her wounds as well as her mouth. You retracted your lightsaber and rose to your feet, surprisingly you were able to stand. 

"Kylo would've been proud of that," she coughed. 

You didn't know why, but tears began looking behind your eyes. 

Perhaps it was the fact you had known Rey for a few years and looked up to her as a big sister. And you were now going to be responsible for her death. 

But it was kill or be killed. 

"Rey—" you shook your head, glancing up at the sky to try and fight the tears away. It was only then where you noticed a few Star Destroyers hovering just outside of the Resistance's vision. 

"You'll pay for this." She choked, her breathing was becoming more and more laboured. You knew she would be dead soon. You knew you had punctured and destroyed on of her lungs. 

You couldn't bring yourself to speak. Instead, you took her saber and attached it to your thigh, still grasping your own. You had to find an X-Wing as soon as possible. 

The Star Destroyers were barely visible as they were so far away from D'Qar. They were out of harm's way. 

StarKiller would be firing any minute now on the planet—you hoped—and you needed to leave. 

Kylo

"The weapon is nearly ready. We'll be firing on D'Qar any minute, Master." Kylo couldn't help but feel nauseous. He still had no news on where his Princess may be. He just hoped that if she was on D'Qar that she was planning on leaving. Quickly. 

"Good," Snoke leant forward in his throne, his talons tapping on the arm of his seat. "Hopefully soon the Resistance will be eliminated." He snarled. "Where is my granddaughter?" 

Kylo swallowed thickly, sweat beginning to mist his forehead. "I don't know, sir." He couldn't help the strain in his voice. 

Kylo kept his gaze fixated on the tiles at his feet. He couldn't bare to look into the eyes of Snoke. Not while his granddaughter was missing. Kylo was meant to train her and work together with her. And now, he had no idea where she was. If she was even alive. 

The throne room was eerily quiet, the only noise to be heard was a low chuckle from Snoke. 

"So you're telling me your apprentice has just vanished?" Snoke tilted his head, his icy blue eyes piercing through Kylo. 

Kylo hesitated, before looking up at his master. "I lost her on Canto Bight. I've tried contacting her, but she may not be strong enough to—"

"Pathetic." Snoke growled. "This is on you." 

"I know." Kylo struggled to keep his anger at bay. His breath was becoming more and more ragged by the minute. 

Red light flashed outside the floor-to-ceiling windows of the throne room which overlooked the galaxy. Various planets were to be seen, and Kylo held his breath as StarKiller's laser cannon fired on D'Qar. The red laser rocketed towards the planet, and the silence in the throne room was making it all too hard for Kylo to cope. 

He had just fired on the planet where his mother and uncle would be. Where his old friends and family would be. 

Where his Princess should be. 

He just prayed to the Gods that she wasn't there, that she was safe. 

Kylo swallowed as the laser came in contact with the planet, and almost immediately, the planet began to explode. Red and orange light erupted in the darkness of the galaxy as the planet exploded, killing everyone and everything in its quake. 

"Well done, my apprentice." Snoke gazed out into the darkness, his pale face being illuminated by the explosions. "Such a pity that she isn't here to see it." 

The fact that Snoke didn't sound phased that his granddaughter was dead only made Kylo's anger bubble towards the top. He was so close to exploding and lashing out at his master. But he knew he couldn't. It would be of no use. 

All Kylo could do was kneel before his master, his fists shaking with not only rage, but fear. Without his Princess he felt so alone, so vulnerable. He hated how weak she made him. He knew he had to take back his power and dominance, and hurting her was the only way he knew how. And now, he was alone and hurting, too afraid to look his master in the eye. 

The sound of blast doors opening brought Kylo back to reality, but he didn't care to turn around. He figured it would be an offical filing a report on the weapon. He was to exhausted and weak to take any notice. 

"It's done, grandfather." 

Almost instantly, Kylo's ears pricked at the sound of her voice. Goosebumps covered his skin and his breath caught in his throat. 

The sound of her footsteps drew closer and closer, until she was standing right beside him. Kylo had to fight the urge to rush to his feet to embrace her. All he did was stare at her in awe. 

Her hair was a mess, her clothes almost in tatters. Blood and dirt soiled her trousers and tunic and he noticed the wound on her shoulder. 

"Ah, well done my sweet, sweet granddaughter," Snoke smiled. "My young apprentice was starting to worry about you." He glanced towards Kylo, a look of disgust raging behind his eyes. "You're wounded." 

"It's nothing. I'm fine." She shook her head, a shaky breath leaving her chest. Kylo knew she was far from it. Her legs were quivered beneath her, and she was pale. He could feel her aches and pains radiating off her. Kylo knew she was strong, but it doesn't deny the fact she was in a lot of pain. 

"Are you sure? Something seems to be bothering you granddaughter." Snoke tilted his head, his nails tapping against the side of his armrest. 

"Yes, grandfather. Everything's fine. Here's Rey's lightsaber." She held out Rey's saber, not bothering to look in Kylo's direction.

He was hurting. He knew she was upset with him. Why wouldn't she be. He had his Knights use her for their own pleasure. He allowed them to fuck her against her own will. Princess put on a brave face to spite Kylo, and it worked, but deep down, they both knew it was wrong. And they both got hurt because of it. 

Kylo watched as Rey's lightsaber hovered over to Snoke, before clattering onto his arm rest. 

"Seems to me your training is almost complete," Snoke smiled. "But we all know what must be done now." He glanced towards Kylo. 

He was a mess. He was relieved that his Princess was back beside him once again. At least he knew she was alive. But he was falling apart from the inside out. His hands trembled by his side and he could barely remain upright. He was exhausted. It had been days since he had slept, all because he was too busy trying to find her. 

He was grateful she was alive and safe, but he didn't know where the two of them were going from there. He figured she wouldn't want anything to do with him after what he did to her. And he wouldn't blame her. But Kylo knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from her. 

Kylo knew what Snoke meant when he said that to Princess. It was happening all over again. Except, this time, she'll be forced to go through with it. His Princess was expected to kill him, and for once, Kylo didn't know what she would do. After what he did to her, he didn't know if she wanted him dead for it. 

When she didn't give Snoke an answer, he continued.

"You've killed the girl. The Resistance is dead." He snarled. "You've done much more than what young Solo could do." 

Kylo found himself clenching his jaw in order to quiet himself. His eyes were trained on his Princess. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He just wanted this to all be over. 

"What will you have me do?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. She was hurting. Kylo could sense the sadness and pain humming off her. 

"Kill him. Then together we'll rule the First Order. Bring a new order to the galaxy. Your child will be next in line to the throne once we're gone." 

Kylo snapped his head towards Snoke, a confused expression on his face. "What?" Surely he heard incorrectly. 

"Oh you didn't know?" Snoke smirked. "It's a wonder you didn't sense the little thing's heart beating in her belly." He scoffed. 

All of the air in Kylo's lungs vanished after a shaky exhale. He had no idea that she was pregnant. She was pregnant with his child. 

His Princess remained silent beside him, her gaze now fixated on the tiles beneath her. 

"Were you going to—"

Kylo was cut off buy Snoke's voice booming off the walls. "It's time, granddaughter. Finish your training. Kill Ben Solo and raise your child the right way. He wouldn't be much of a father to it anyways." 

Kylo tried swallowing the lump in his throat, but it was of no use. His whole body was trembling now, he was angry and confused. Why didn't she tell him she was pregnant? How long has she known this? Was it actually his child? 

She stepped in front of him, drawing her lightsaber pointing it towards his skull. "You really think I would do that to you?" She hissed, quiet enough so that only Kylo could hear her. He hadn't realised she had been scarred across her face during her encounter with Rey. It was much like his own, but it was still fresh, blood still trickled down her face here and there, and it was already starting to dry and crust against her skin. 

He felt his heart shatter. He made a promise to himself that he would always protect her, and here she was, covered in her own blood, wounded and exhausted before him. 

Her name left his mouth in an exhale, she didn't react. It's almost as if she was detached from everything going on around her. 

"No hesitation, girl." Kylo had forgotten that Snoke had ordered her to kill him. "Get it over with and we'll discuss future plans together." 

Something behind Princess' eyes were dark, evil almost. It's like every bit of light she had left in her was finally gone. She was now a shell of her old self. Much like Kylo. 

"Yes, grandfather." She sighed, not an inch of her seemed upset by what was happening. And it terrified Kylo. The love of his life was going to single handedly kill him before his master. 

Kylo watched as she raised her hand, pressing the hilt of her saber to his forehead. The cool metal sent shivers throughout his body. It was happening all over again. The tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, the sweat, the trembling, the nauseous feeling bubbling in his gut.

"I know what I have to do." Her voice seemed distant, and there was no expression on her bloody face. All Kylo could do was gaze up at her, taking in her features one last time, ignoring the scar that the two of them now shared. 

Kylo closed his eyes and took a stuttering breath. Kylo wanted to say it, he wanted to tell her he loved her. But what was the use? He was going to die. Perhaps it'd be easier if she didn't know. She could move on once he was gone. If he told her he loved her, then she would have to live with that forever. 

"Yes, good girl. Plunge the saber through his skull. Rid this galaxy of this pathetic excuse of a leader. Take what's rightfully yours." Snoke boomed. 

Kylo's lip trembled. Everything he did was for the order. And most importantly, her. 

"Kill him. Now." 

In a matter of seconds the sound of a lightsaber igniting filled Kylo's ears. He couldn't help but jump at the sound of it, but when he realised he wasn't dead or hurt, he opened his eyes. 

Princess' hand was clenched by her side, her eyes clamped shut. And that's when Kylo noticed that Rey's lightsaber had penetrated Snoke's side. 

Snoke's mouth was agape, a growl of anger and pain erupted from his mouth before Rey's saber sliced through him. 

Princess' breath was ragged as she spun to face her deceased grandfather, her eyes scanning his body for any signs of life left in him. There was nothing. 

Kylo rose to his feet just in time for Snoke's guards to approach in full force, their weapons drawn as they circled both Kylo and Princess.

Kylo ignited his saber, the fierce crackling echoing off the walls. He stepped backwards, pressing his back to Princess'. His heart was threatening to break his ribcage as he glanced over his shoulder. Princess had her teeth bared and her saber raised, waiting for the guards to approach. 

It was in this moment Kylo knew he was afraid. Not because they were being attacked, he had killed countless amounts of guards, he's destroyed entire planets and murdered civilians in cold blood. But Kylo was afraid. He was afraid of losing her again. 

He knew she was exhausted. She could barely stand. Her encounter with Rey had seemingly drained every ounce of energy out of her. Not to mention she was wounded, too. 

One of the guards swung their scythes towards Kylo, but he was quick enough to duck and strike back, knocking the guard backwards and causing him to stumble into another. 

Princess swung her saber, a cry of pain and frustration leaving her throat. It was breaking Kylo's heart seeing her in such a poor state. 

Kylo advanced, flicking his lightsaber using his wrist before jabbing towards one of the guards. The red plasma crackled as it pierced through the guard's amour, penetrating major organs. The guard went limp and fell back, and Kylo quickly withdrew his saber from the guard's body to block another attack. 

Animalistic growls left his throat as he ducked and blocked potential strikes, all while he was keeping his eye on his Princess. She had already eliminated one of the guards, but she was growing more and more exhausted with each strike she gave out. 

Kylo watched as a guard knocked her to the floor, his weapon raised to strike while she was done. Kylo quickly reached out and stopped the guard in his tracks, the Force keeping him still so Princess could jab him through the chest. A third guard approached Kylo, this time wielding an electric double-sided sword. With Kylo preoccupied with holding the guard at bay, the one advancing managed to slice Kylo across his thigh, a heavy groan leaving his throat as blood spilled down his leg. 

He stumbled forward but quickly regained he strength, before swinging at the guard. His lightsaber crackled and whined through the air, but he missed. Every step he took, pain shot through him, but Kylo was smart enough to harness the pain and use it to his own advantage. It was one beneficial thing that Snoke had taught him. 

Princess grunted as she swung aimlessly at the other guard advancing towards her. She was close to being done. She had had enough. 

"Keep fighting," Kylo barked, he didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he was again occupied with the guard. Kylo's ribcage was shaking with each beat of his heart. Sweat misted his skin and his hair started to stick to his face, hindering his vision.

The guard struck towards Kylo but he spun, before grabbing the back of the helmet and ramming the lightsaber through the back of the guard's chest. Kylo kicked him to the ground, the armour clattering against the tiles. 

Princess had managed to kill another guard, her hand stretched out as she choked him to death. 

That was his girl, Kylo thought. 

She threw the body to the side and fell to the floor once again. She was struggling, all Kylo was worried about was keeping her safe. 

There were only two guards left, and Kylo advanced towards the pair of them, flicking his saber around beside them, taunting them. The first one advanced, wielding two large knives in each hand. Kylo stepped backwards as they swung forward before Kylo knocked one of the knives out of the guard's hands. All the while the other guard circled towards the back of Kylo, trying to get to Princess. 

"Get up," He growled. "Now." 

She gazed at him for a moment, her eyes were glassy and her face, although covered in blood, was beginning to look a lot more pale. She wasn't in a good way. But, despite her pain, she struggled to her feet. Force choking the last guard had knocked the last bout of energy she had. She reignited her saber at her side, her hand trembling as she did so. 

Just one more. Kylo communicated. 

The guard jabbed forward with his knife, managing to slice into Kylo's side. He was becoming too distracted watching out for Princess. Pain shot through his body once again, and with that, Kylo lifted his saber and sliced down through the guard, completely cutting him in half. 

He spun around, finding the guard's hand around Princess's throat. She had given up. 

Kylo balled his fist before reaching out, forcing the guard away. Princess fell to her knees one last time, a grunt leaving her throat as the collided with the tiles beneath her. 

Kylo flexed his fingers, listening as the helmet began to crack under the Force, before he flicked his wrist, breaking the guards neck. The body crumpled to the floor with a loud clatter, then silence. 

Kylo took a minute to catch his breath. His chest heaved as he tried to gather as much oxygen as he could. He didn't know how he was going to explain Snoke's death to the Officials. He and Princess were the only ones left to rule the Order. 

He spun around, finding his Princess barely conscious on the floor. He rushed to her side, the lump in his throat growing harder and harder to swallow back down. 

"I'm here," he mumbled, gently pulling her into him. Even though she was barely conscious, she still found the energy to beat her fist against his chest in anger. 

"Let me go," she growled, her tiny little fist still pounding against Kylo's tunic. She was too weak to cause any damage. 

Kylo couldn't help the small smile creep onto his lips as he lifted her from the ground, keeping her secured against his chest. 

"Never."

An: hey guys I'm so sorry this has taken ages. I've been away and super busy but I finally found time to finish this! I'm sorry it's a bit all over the place and pretty sloppy but it's here at least. 

I just want to thank you all for being patient and I hope you all had a good Christmas and New Years xx

This book is slowly coming to an end and I'm excited to be finishing this up to start my new one 'Torn'. I've already started writing a bit but I don't want to publish the first chapter until this is complete 

But who knows I might cave and post it earlier. 

Anyways, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH.


	26. Chapter 25

You had been in the med-bay for a few days. 

Kylo dropped you off to have your wounds looked at, much to your disgust. You hated him touching you. You didn't want to be anywhere near him. But you were grateful he took you to med-bay anyways. You couldn't walk. Every part of you ached after the throne room. 

You knew you had to kill your grandfather. Although it made you sick to your stomach, you knew it had to be done. Although you hated Kylo for what he did, you could never kill him. You still loved him. And you hated yourself for it. If you killed Kylo, you knew it would shatter you into a million tiny pieces. And if your grandfather was still alive, you knew he would torment you, just like Kylo. He would eventually drive you insane. You had no remorse. 

The Resistance was dead, along with your grandfather. 

Lexa cleaned and stitched your wounded shoulder—after crying about you leaving—and bandaged all of the other wounds. You knew you weren't a pretty sight. Grazes, bruises and scars now littered your body, and you couldn't bare to look at yourself in the mirror. You didn't want to see the damage caused by Rey. 

Thankfully, Kylo hadn't been in to see you. You heard he had to have some stitches done as well after the throne room. You didn't know how the two of you were going to explain Snoke's death. It was suspicious. You returning after defeating the Resistance, then Snoke and his guards are found executed. It wasn't a good look.

Today was the day you were being discharged from the med-bay, and Lexa offered to walk you back to your quarters. You had no intention of staying in Kylo's. You would rather sleep inside one of the TIE fighters before you ever stepped foot into his quarters again. Hux and Pryde hadn't made the effort to see you, and you were glad. You needed to rest. Everything has hit you at once and you were still in an incredible amount of pain. Not to mention you were still carrying Kylo's child. 

You had told Lexa about the pregnancy and how you wanted it terminated, but she wouldn't go through with it until Kylo knew what was going on. You weren't sure if she was trying to help you come to terms with it, or merely trying to keep her life. It wouldn't surprise you if Kylo had her killed because she didn't tell him about the terminated pregnancy. 

Sooner or later you would have to talk to him about it, but you didn't have the energy to right now. 

"You're already walking a bit better." Lexa smiled as she pulled her dark hair free of her pony tail. 

"Doesn't mean it hurts any less," you grumbled as pain shot up through your back. "You didn't have to walk me back to my quarters."

"I'd be liable if something happened. Besides, Kylo wouldn't want you walking back on your own." 

"I don't care what he thinks," You spat, "he's dead to me." 

Lexa sighed and stopped outside your quarters. "I know you still love him. And I think he feels the same way. When you were gone he was distraught." A sad smile was plastered on her lips. "You need to talk to him about this baby." 

Hearing the word baby or child made you sick to your stomach, purely because you wanted nothing to do with it. You knew Kylo wouldn't be keen on having a child. He's still too much of a child himself. 

"When I can be bothered dealing with him, I'll speak to him." You huffed. "Thank you for bringing me back." 

She stood there for a moment in silence, her eyes gazing into yours. "I hope the two of you can sort your shit out." She crossed her arms and shifted onto her other leg. "Because if you don't, I don't know how the Order will proceed. It needs It's Surpreme Leaders."

All you could do was nod your head before you stepped inside your quarters. A heavy sigh left your chest as you made your way over to your bed. You needed to shower, but you didn't have the energy to do so. You figured it'd be best to sleep off some of your pain and shower later. 

You just didn't realise how painful it was going to be. In the med-bay you had constant access to pain killers, now, you were supposed to be weaning yourself off them. Getting into your bed was excruciating. Your muscles seethed in pain, knocking the wind out of you. You had never been in that much pain in your entire life. 

You were wishing you decided to stay in the med-bay a little longer now. 

You twisted and turned trying to get comfortable, pain shot through your body every time you moved, and tears soon started to well up behind your eyes out of pure frustration. You were so tired. All you wanted was a decent sleep, but in the state you were in you didn't think you'd be getting much sleep at all. 

Your mind wandered to Kylo, and what he possibly could be doing right now. But you tried pushing those thoughts away. 

It didn't work. 

Instead, your mind flashed back to how the two of you fought side by side to kill the guards, how he encouraged you when all you wanted to do was collapse to the floor in a heap. You could sense his mind running wild, constantly thinking about you and keeping you safe. But you couldn't ignore the fact that he had hurt you. You couldn't trust him again, not like you used to. After what he did to you, and what he allowed to happen, you didn't know what else he was capable of when he snapped. 

But you still couldn't bring yourself to fall out of love with him. The two of you shared so much and he was there for you when nobody else was. Darkness was embedded into the two of you, and there was no hiding from it. Now that your grandfather was dead, the two of you had to step up. You just didn't know how you could work together. You couldn't stand being in the same room as him. 

You flipped onto your back, clenching your jaw as your muscles screamed in pain once again. You lifted your shirt slightly before placing your hand against your stomach. You weren't showing yet. You wouldn't be for some time, but you hoped that it wouldn't come to that. You were still torn on what to do. You knew eventually you and Kylo had to talk about the child, but you weren't sure how well that conversation would go. 

You closed your eyes and silenced your mind, trying to listen for it's heartbeat. 

When you thought you weren't going to have any luck, a tiny: thud-thud, thud-thud.

Your eyes shot open and you pulled your hand away from your stomach as tears pricked your eyes. It was really there. It was real. 

As you wiped away a few stray tears, the sound of your blast door opening startled you. A wall of black clothing stood in your doorway, harsh steel placed upon its shoulders. 

You knew it was coming. You knew he couldn't stay away for much longer. 

"Can I come in?" His voice sounded almost desperate through his vocoder.

"No. I want you to leave." You spat, pulling your shirt back down and managing to sit up in your bed. 

He remained silent for a minute, his sheer size taking up the whole doorway. You watched as his chest rose and fell in steady breaths. "We need to talk about all this." 

His voice was making your skin crawl. 

"Not now." Your voice was failing you, you were struggling through tears. The fear of carrying his child was eating away at you, and frustration was searing through your veins as Kylo refused to leave. 

Instead he stepped inside and shut the door behind him, before removing his helmet. You couldn't look at him, you didn't want to look at him. 

You heard your name fall from his lips in an exhale, and you shook your head. You just wanted him gone, but you knew first hand how stubborn he could be. 

"Kylo not now, please." You wiped at your eyes again, ridding yourself of anymore tears. You were just so tired. 

Tired of pouring yourself into him and what ever it was that the two of you had. And he couldn't do the same. Sure, he showed he cared about you, but how many times has he hurt you? When you were first taken in by the First Order he would torture you endlessly. You were just lucky enough to not be killed. Although, you wouldn't really call it lucky. 

All of the small things the two of you shared, the laughs, the gentle touches, the kisses, it all seemed worthless now. It's like it was all a lie. Perhaps he never really cared about you at all. Maybe it was just all a massive lie. 

"I'm sorry," his voice was gravelly as he approached slowly, knowing very well that you could either send something hurdling towards him at any time. But luckily enough for him, you didn't have the energy for that. "Princess please, let's just talk about this." 

You didn't move, nor look at him when he sat beside you. You were afraid that if you saw the hurt expression on his face that it'd break you all over again. You were hurting enough as it was. 

"Talk about what exactly?" Your throat was tight as your eyes wandered towards his hand beside your thigh, encased in leather. 

"Everything." 

"Go on, then." You huffed, finally finding the courage to meet his eyes. And, as always, those fucking eyes took your breath away. Amber irises peered at you, and for once in your life, you could find some humanity behind them. They weren't their usual stony cold voids you had grown used to. 

You watched as he swallowed, hard, his lip trembling as he did so. 

"What happened on Canto Bight will never happen again." He said, his voice was strangely thick. Like he was holding back tears. "I never should have allowed that to happen and I am sorry about that," when he whispered your name, it only brought new tears on. He was genuine, and seeing him so upset by it was making your heart ache. "It won't happen again. I promise." His hand reached for yours, but you pulled away. 

"Whether you're sorry about it or not, you still allowed it to happen. And then you left me, again." 

"You left me." 

"No," you growled. "No, you left me, Kylo. After your Knights were done, you left me. You didn't even check to make sure I was ok." You hissed. "It made me realise that you didn't care. And perhaps you never did. That's why I left. But I came back once I had completed my mission." 

"I do care about you," his brow was furrowed, and you nearly laughed in his face. 

"You have a pretty fucked up way of showing it." You shook your head. "You hurt me Kylo. You always hurt me. You've ruined my fucking life." You began to gnaw on your bottom lip. You weren't sure why you were trying to stop the tears. Your cheeks were already tear stained. 

He remained quiet, turning his head away from you. "You know how hard it is for me, doing this." He gestured vaguely with his hand towards the pair of you. 

You scoffed. "Letting six of your men have their way with me is no fucking excuse." 

"I know that!" He snapped and stood quickly from the side of your bed. You couldn't help but wince, not knowing what he was going to do. And the look on Kylo's face shattered your heart into a million tiny pieces. 

His eyes were wide, his brows raised slightly in confusion. His jaw clenched before he spoke. "You thought I was going to hit you," he mumbled. 

"Well," you shifted away from him. "I know what you're capable of." Your hands were shaking as you pulled your bedsheet up and over yourself. 

"I would never hit you." His lip twitched as he swallowed again. "Not like that." 

"Who are you kidding Kylo? You've hit me multiple times." 

His chest heaved with a ragged breath. "Princess I'm—fuck—I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I know how much I fucked up and I regret everything. I regret hurting you. I know you hate me, after what I did—"

"Hate you?" You shook your head, meeting his gaze once more. "What you did to me, might've made me hate you more, but Kylo," another tear rolled down your face. "I won't stop loving you any less." A weak sob left your chest and pain shot through your body. Your broken ribs certainly couldn't take much more emotional bull shit. 

Kylo remained silent, and you could've sworn you saw tears prick at his eyes. 

"Kylo you killed my family, you turned me to the Dark Side along with my grandfather. I killed my grandfather for you. I killed Rey, for you. I eliminated the Resistance for you. Everything I have ever done since I've been here has been for you." Another sob wracked your chest and pain shot through you once again. "You've done nothing but hurt me, it's gotten me nowhere. I've given everything I have to you, and you can't do the same. And it fucking hurts, Kylo." 

"Princess—"

"And now I'm pregnant with your child. I can't have a child knowing it's father can't give his all to it or it's mother. I can't have a child with someone who doesn't love me." 

There was a beat of silence. The air was thick enough that you could've cut through it with a knife. 

"That's not fair. When were you going to tell me you were pregnant?" 

"I didn't know I was pregnant. Rey knew, and told your mother. And Leia had her heart set on me having your child. But I can't, Kylo. I just can't." You managed to rise to your feet. You needed a shower and you wanted him gone. 

"Princess," he steadied you on your feet but you smacked him away. 

"Stop fucking calling me that. We're done." Your heart ached inside your broken ribcage. Kylo's face had pain and shock slapped across it. At least you knew he was hurting just as much as you were. "I'm not having this baby. I don't care what you want." You moved passed him, it seemed as if he was cemented into the tiles beneath him. "Now if you don't mind, I want you to leave me alone. When were both healed, I'll work beside you, but I don't want anything else to do with you. Do you understand?" 

"You know that won't happen," his voice seemed to darken. "You know we both can't do that."

As much as it pained you, you knew he was right. 

"Just go, please." You sighed, your head starting to spin from standing up to quickly. You were growing more and more frustrated by the minute, but in the state you were in, you knew you'd struggle to bathe yourself. 

And you knew Kylo thought the same. 

"At least let me help clean you up." His voice was soft, distant. 

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, you knew you needed help getting in and out of the bath, but you didn't want to admit it to yourself. 

You stayed silent as you limped to the bathroom, your back was aching and you couldn't wait to sit in a hot bath. Kylo followed silently behind you, and he was wise enough to keep his distance. 

You avoided your own reflection in the mirror as you attempted to undress yourself. You didn't want to see the scars and bruises that would be littering your body. And you especially didn't want to see the scar across your face. 

When you struggled with your shirt for a solid five minutes, Kylo stepped towards you and reached for the hem of it, before gently pulling it over your head. 

You didn't want to feel anything for him, but seeing him so soft and gentle with you was making your heart swell. 

You tried to reach behind yourself to unclasp your bra, but your tight muscles simply wouldn't allow you to do so. You thought you were able to at least undress yourself, and frustration was building up in your chest when you found that you couldn't. 

You needed him to help you more than you thought. 

Kylo took another step forward and reached behind you, undoing your bra with one hand while the other reached out to turn the water on. 

You watched as Kylo swallowed thickly, his eyes glanced towards your chest before he dropped to his knees, gently tugging your trousers and underwear down your legs. You couldn't help but chew on the inside of your cheek. 

He has never been this soft with you in the time you knew him. 

"Step out," his voice was gravelly as he tapped your leg, and you reached down to grab hold of his shoulder for balance before doing so. 

You felt like a fucking child. And it made it all the more humiliating. 

Kylo was strangely quiet, normally after a fight he would be quite vocal, but something was off. Even his mind was quiet. But that was probably because he had shut you out. 

Figures. 

He rose to his feet and his eyes met yours. You were sure there were tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Unless he was just tired and glassy eyed. 

You weren't sure. 

"Here," he held his arm out and you grasped it as he helped you into the bath. The hot water stung for a second, but you welcomed it as you lowered yourself into the water. Your muscles relaxed as the hot water began to sooth them. 

You swallowed and met his eyes again. "Thank you." Your voice was almost a whisper. "You can go now." 

"I'm not leaving you alone to get out by yourself. You'll hurt yourself." 

He was so stubborn. 

Just like you. 

Before you could fight back, Kylo pulled up a small chair that was situated in the corner of the bathroom and sat beside you, his eyes cast on the tiles. 

He really was upset. Normally he'd still be trying to reason with you, but this quiet sulking wasn't sitting right with you. 

"What's wrong?" You felt stupid for asking the question. You knew what was wrong. 

All he did was look up at you, his eyes were now dry, and there was absolutely nothing behind them. A small breath left him and he looked away again. "I hate what she did to you." 

You knew it wasn't that alone. 

"I'm fine."

"You're lucky to be alive." 

Were you? 

"It's done. It doesn't matter now." 

"You don't get it, do you?" He lifted his head again, this time his jaw was clenched and his breathing had picked up. "If she had've killed you, I wouldn't have known. I wouldn't have known where you were and you would've been blown up on D'Qar." He shook his head, his dark hair falling in sad-looking curtains around his face. 

You had to bite your tongue to stop another argument. "It had to be done. I'm fine. You don't have to worry anymore." You shifted inside the tub, accidentally sending water sloshing about. You hadn't realised how dirty you were. The water was soon turning into a hazy mixture of brown and red from your injuries. 

"Don't tell me what I can and can't worry about," he grumbled as he reached for the loofa and soap behind you, lathering it with suds. "Lean forward." You sighed and did as you were told, wincing as your ribs sent shocks of pain throughout your body. 

Kylo rubbed circles into your skin, ridding you of muck and blood. He was gentle and precise with his movements, being sure not to hurt you. 

You caught a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror and you quickly turned away from it. The scar across your face was still so raw, dried blood was still caked onto your skin. It looked so ugly. You struggled to fight back more tears this time. 

"You're still beautiful," Kylo's voice was soft as he rinsed the length of your back. "No scar will ever change that." 

You knew you were too proud, you so desperately wanted to kiss him and hold him, but you couldn't. Not after what he did to you. 

Instead you just wiped at your eyes and took the loofa from him to finish cleaning your own wounds. Kylo sat and stared at the murky water in which you sat in, watching as the blood and dirt mixed in with the soap. 

"You're really getting rid of it, aren't you?" At first, you weren't sure what he was talking about, but when you looked up and found his eyes gazing down at your belly, you clicked. 

"I'm not going through this again, Kylo." You sighed. "We're not cut out to be parents—"

"How do you know that?" 

You scoffed. "So, you're telling me, if I were to have this baby you would drop everything just to look after it?"

"Yes,"

You shook your head. "You're unbelievable," you couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Kylo, you and I both know that us having a baby won't work. It's too dangerous for a child here. Not to mention," you sucked in a breath. "We're done."

"You keep telling yourself that." He huffed. 

You rolled your eyes and gathered all the strength you had to stand, the cool air against your wet skin sending goosebumps rushing over your body. "If you think I'm going to be stupid enough to come back to you after what you did," you managed to climb out of the bath, even though you were in absolute agony. You didn't want to look weak in front of him. "Then you're just as delusional as your mother." 

He was quick to rise to his feet, and you stumbled back as you wrapped a towel around yourself. His eyes were black with anger at the mention of his mother. She was probably dead. She had to be. That makes two of you, then. 

"Do not compare me to my mother," he hissed as he backed you into the tiled wall. "It doesn't matter now. She's dead. You killed her." You noticed his voice seemed to crack when he said that Leia was dead. Part of you felt terrible for it, but the other part had no sympathy. 

"And you killed mine. You killed both my parents, do you remember that?" You spat, you had really had enough of Kylo by that point. 

You just wanted to sleep. 

"Don't start this bullshit with me," he growled, and before you knew it, his hand was around your throat, pinning you to the cold tiles. 

"Or what?" You scoffed, although you choked as Kylo's hand tightened around your throat. His face held nothing but anger and sheer pain. "You'll hit me? Let your men have their way with me again?" You wheezed as you wrapped your hand around his wrist. 

Kylo's ferocious glare fell at your words, and now a sad and lost young boy was staring back at you. His eyes were no longer the harsh black they were before, and his snarl had parted in shock. His jaw was tense as his eyes searched your face, for what, you weren't sure. But still, no matter how much you hated him, you couldn't look away from him. His features always captivated you, and it only made you love him more. And you hated it. You hated him for it. 

"Get the fuck out," you gasped, digging your fingers into his wrist and pushing him away. "I don't want to see you anymore unless it's during meetings. You're not welcome here any more." You cursed yourself as your voice shook. 

Kylo just stared at you blankly. His chest rose and fell in shaky breaths, his face ceased to show any emotion, now. He was back to his normal, cold, stony self. 

Then, he opened his mouth, as if to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, he gazed at you for one last time before turning away from you and leaving. 

It was when you heard your blast doors slam shut that you broke down in tears.

A/n: yeah yeah I know this chapter is crappy I'm sorry. But I promise It'll pick up again!! We're slowly nearing the end, but we still have a decent amount left to get through xxxx 

I love y'all so much xx


	27. Chapter 26

A whole week had passed since you last saw Kylo. 

In that week you cried, a lot, as well as take the time to rest and heal from your injuries. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been, instead it was reduced to an annoying niggling ache all over. The pain in your ribs didn't cripple you anymore. 

You had asked Lexa multiple times about terminating your pregnancy, and she would always give you the same answer.

"Not until you're fully healed." 

You stayed in your quarters, opting to have food delivered to you rather than walk through the halls. Besides, as Supreme Leader you thought it was better to have guards deliver your food. 

Although the physical pain was slowly subsiding, the emotional pain was still there. Still raw. Every time you thought of Kylo your breath would catch in your throat and suffocate you, and tears would soon follow. 

You couldn't trust him like you used to. Not anymore. 

You knew he was hurting when he left, you had never seen his face fall so quickly. You knew you were pushing him over the edge, and it would only be a matter of time before he snapped. And as always, he did. 

Now, you were staring at him from the opposite end of the table during a meeting. Each chair was taken by an Imperial, and you noticed how both Hux and Pryde's eyes were glued to the both of you. 

Kylo stood at the other end of the table, his helmet upon his shoulders, and those dark voids were peering into your soul. You tried your best to ignore it. 

"Such a shame to see you share a scar along with Ren, now." Hux said, a frown plastered on his pasty white face. You knew he was mocking you. Ever since you kissed him to get back at Kylo he had been back to his old self, berating you, and making your life miserable. Normally, Kylo had that job. "What happened to Supreme Leader Snoke," Hux clipped, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment. "It was a terrible, terrible, occurrence." 

You swallowed thickly, your eyes cast to your lap. It was only a matter of time before this was all brought up. 

"Indeed," Kylo's voice was distant, and it made your skin crawl. 

"How did it happen, exactly?" Hux's eyes glanced to you once more. 

You knew you couldn't avoid the confrontation. You cleared your throat and met his eyes. "It was an accident," you thanked the Gods that your voice didn't fail you. "My grandfather wanted me to..." you glanced at Kylo, remembering how you had your saber pointed at his skull. "He wanted me to kill Kylo, complete my training," you swallowed again, this time the nausea was starting to kick in. 

Fucking kids. 

"And?" This time, Pryde chipped in, his blue eyes scanning your face. 

"He wanted me to use the Force and demonstrate my skills. But I still struggle with some things. I ignited Rey's saber on accident, and then his guards attacked us—"

"This sounds a little suspicious, don't you think?" Hux jutted his chin out and scanned the table, the Imperials weren't so sure if you were telling the truth. "Pardon me, Supreme Leader, but you technically still are a prisoner on this ship. How do we know this wasn't some act of revenge?" 

You scoffed. "I lead the Resistance to their death, I lead them to D'Qar to have them obliterated. And you still question my loyalty to the First Order?" You didn't mean to raise your voice. "And trust me, it wouldn't be my grandfather I'd kill for revenge." Your eyes locked with Kylo's dark voids once again. 

He knew exactly what you meant. 

His gloved hands gripped the edge of the table and you watched as a heavy sigh left him. "Anything else you would like clarified, General Hux?" His helmet tilted ever so slightly in Hux's direction. 

"No, sir. But I'm afraid I also have some bad news." Hux leant forward in his chair, resting his hands on top of the granite table. "After the attack on D'Qar there were a few Resistance cruisers that managed to get away. We didn't have the resources ready to take care of them and they took off through light speed. We don't know where they have gone or who were on those ships." 

Your heart sunk to your stomach at Hux's words, and you felt every pair of eyes on you. It seemed as if your plan failed, but if over half the Resistance was obliterated, you'd call that a successful mission. 

"If it's only a small amount that got away I highly doubt they'd be a problem. Also, Rey is dead." You tapped your fingers against the granite table top, trying to keep the nausea from bubbling over the top. You hated speaking at meetings, it always made you anxious, and it definitely wasn't helping your case. 

"I agree," Kylo's voice came through the vocoder, icy cold as ever. "Majority of the Resistance is gone along with their resources and weapons. A few stragglers shouldn't be a threat." 

"If you say so, Supreme Leaders." Hux nodded, a hint of malice behind his voice. 

The meeting dragged on for another hour or so, Imperials bickering about specific weaponry as well as recruiting more and more stormtroopers. You thought they would've had enough. 

As the meeting came to its conclusion, all you could do was stare at Kylo as he paced back and forth at the head of the table, his hands clasped behind his back as he finished up with his decision making. 

All you wanted to do was head back to your quarters and sleep. The meetings took every last bit of energy you had as you sat there for hours, listening to Imperials argue about politics. And what was most tiring was staring at the metallic, emotionless mask that watched you the whole meeting. 

His walls were up, as were yours. You didn't want him knowing what was going on with you. You didn't want him to know that you cried every night over him, wishing that things were different between the two of you. Wishing that instead of crying into your pillow that you were once again wrapped up in his arms, running your fingers through those thick locks of his and tracing every scar that littered his body. 

You missed him. There was no denying that. 

You missed him so much, yet, you were too scared to share the same space as him now. 

You don't think there's anything he could do to make it up to you.

"Dismissed." Kylo's voice through his vocoder was gruff. He had had enough by now. 

The Imperials were soon rising from their seats and quietly filing out of the room. But, as always, Pryde and Hux were the last to leave. 

"What will you have us do about the remaining Resistance, Ren?" 

You remained seated, you wanted to leave, but you knew deep down you needed to stay. Something was telling you that you had to stay. 

"As I said, they shouldn't be a problem. But, the issue is, Luke is still alive." He said. "I'll go after them myself once we know their location." 

You frowned, but stayed quiet, your eyes glued to your lap. You thought it was pointless for Kylo to go after them. Luke no longer wanted to train any Jedi, Rey was the last one. And now she's dead. There's no way you could see Luke taking in more Jedi to train them. With Leia gone, you didn't know what he was going to do. 

"In the meantime, send out squadrons and try and locate their whereabouts." 

"Yes, right away, sir." Hux nodded before turning on his heel and leaving, Pryde following suit. 

That only left you and Kylo. The last time you were alone with him in this room he fucked you on the very table you were sitting at. 

The sick and twisted part of you wished that it would happen again. You hated him, there was no denying that. But that didn't change the fact that he was still so fucking—

"You're dismissed. You can go." 

You blinked up at him. You weren't expecting him to speak to you. And in that moment, you didn't know how to respond. 

You wanted to leave, but at the same time, your body didn't move. You didn't know why your body was failing you, all you knew was that you were torn on what to do. What to say. 

"Are you ok—"

"I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day." Before you could comprehend what was coming out of your mouth, you continued. "I was out of line with some of the things I said." 

Kylo stood at the end of the table, his chest rising and falling with each steady breath he took. "You don't need to apologise." 

In a way, it was true, he deserved everything that you dished out to him. Why should you be apologising when you're the one that got hurt? But, you knew in order to try and resolve things between the two of you, it was a start. 

"Kylo," you rose to your feet and slowly made your way towards him. You weren't sure what you were going to say to him. All you needed, though, was to be able to see those golden brown eyes of his. You wanted to feel like you were talking to an actual person, not some monster dressed in all black. 

Even though that's what he was. 

"Take your helmet off," your voice was barely above a whisper as you planted your feet in front of him. You were close enough that you could smell his familiar scent, the scent of leather and just, him, was enough to make your heart flutter. When Kylo didn't move, you slowly reached up towards his helmet before finding the latches and undoing them. The helmet clicked, and then a small hiss was heard as you gently pulled it off his head. 

Your breath caught in your throat when his dark locks fell from his helmet, framing that jaw that you knew you loved kissing. You noticed that slight stubble had started forming along his jaw and chin. His brow was drawn ever so slightly, and his eyes searched your face. He was confused, and you didn't blame him. 

"Hi," you whispered, placing the helmet on the table beside you. "I needed to see your face—"

"What are you doing?" His voice was thick and he stepped away from you. Your heart sunk. 

"Kylo, I just—fuck—I miss you." You cursed yourself for being so open with him. And the fact that you actually did miss him. 

After all he has done to you, you still miss him and need him. You knew how fucked up it was, you knew any other person would be smart enough to leave him behind. But you couldn't. You just couldn't stay away from him. 

"You said we were done." He swallowed thickly, his eyes still frantically searching your face. He was so unsure about everything and it was making your heart ache. 

"I know," you began chewing on your bottom lip. You didn't want another argument to come of this. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just—I was hurt, Kylo. I just don't want to keep getting hurt. But being away from you is only making it worse." You swallowed the lump forming in your throat. 

Kylo stared at you for a long, silent moment. You could see behind his eyes that his mind was ticking over, but you couldn't see what he was thinking about. Ever since the fight you weren't able to reach him. But the confused expression on his face made it clear that he was trying to process what you were saying. The two of you had lost trust in one another. 

"Don't try to—"

"Kylo I'm not trying anything," you reached for his hand, but he moved away again. "I'm being serious. You were right when you said we wouldn't be able to stay away from each other." You continued gnawing on the inside of your cheek, worried about what Kylo may say. 

"I don't understand," he shook his head. "After everything I've put you through, you still want to come back to me?" He was in disbelief. He knew you wanted to stay away from him, but he was still shocked at how willing you were to come back. 

"I guess so," you shrugged. "Maybe I'm an idiot for it. But all I know is that I need you, Kylo." You swallowed and gazed up at him. "You're all I have left."

When tears began to prick your eyes, Kylo stepped towards you before wrapping his arms around you. At first you were shocked at his embrace. You thought he would just stand there completely dumbfounded. But when he took you into his arms you practically melted into him. 

You missed the physical contact with him. You knew he may never say it, but in moments like this, he did manage to show that he cared for you. Sometimes he fucked up, and when he did, it was catastrophic. But in times like this, he did make you feel safe, wanted. 

You breathed him in, clutching to his tunic and cowl. You moulded into him, resting your cheek against the middle of his chest. His breathing was a little erratic against you, but you soon worked out that it was because tiny, breathy sobs were leaving him. 

"Princess I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." He whimpered, his hand cradling the back of your head, holding you tightly against him. "I regret everything I did to you. If I could change the past I would." 

Tears were already streaming down your face, wetting his tunic beneath your skin. Perhaps letting him back in wasn't a good idea. He could hurt you all over again. But you knew you needed him, and now more than ever. And in a way, you figured Kylo needed you, too. 

"Never again," you sniffled, pulling away from him to look up at his flustered face. "Please don't do that to me ever again." You choked back a sob, remembering how Kylo was so withdrawn as he sat in the chair, allowing his Knights to have their way with you. How he forced Vicrul to fuck you and left you alone once they were done. You had never been so physically and emotionally hurt in your whole life. 

"No, no," Kylo shook his head. "I will never let that happen to you again. You have my word. I've hated myself for it ever since." His hand glided from the back of your head to your cheek. His thumb brushed over the scar that Rey had left. Instinctively, you pulled away, not wanting to be reminded of the scars that lingered. Especially on your face. 

Kylo's lip trembled, more tears welling up behind his eyes. "You still are beautiful. You always will be to me. No matter how many scars you have. It just shows how strong you are." Kylo gently cradled your face with both hands, now.

Your heart ached at his words. You knew you were probably giving in too soon. What he did to you was beyond fucked up, and now you were silently begging for his touch. The longer his hands cradled your face, the more and more desperate you became. 

"Kylo I—"

He leaned down and his lips were on yours, both of you letting out a desperate whimper. His lips were soft and warm against your own, his cheeks wet against yours with the tears both of you were shedding. Your hands found his hair, your fingers entwining in his dark locks that you had grown so used to loving. 

The kiss seemed to last for eternity. It was gentle, but it was desperate. Kylo opened his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss and you leant into him, causing him to stumble back against the table. Your tongue found it's way into his mouth and a soft moan left his throat, sending electricity shooting throughout your body. 

You missed him so much. Your mind was screaming at you, telling you that this was all wrong. You shouldn't want the man that has caused you nothing but pain. But you just couldn't stay away. You ached for him. 

Kylo's hands were ever so gentle as they cradled your face whilst he pulled away, his lips parted and swollen as he caught his breath. You blinked up at him, his eyes were almost like honey as they peered into your own. 

He swallowed before speaking. "I want you in my quarters tonight," his voice was soft as he brushed his thumbs over your cheeks, wiping away the remaining tears. "Wear something nice. I kept those dresses you bought. But only if you're comfortable." 

You nodded and turned your head slightly before pressing your lips to the side of his thumb. 

"I'll be there." 

+++++

Kylo had a few things to do after the meeting, so you took the time to head back to your own quarters to shower and clean your wounds. 

You still avoided your own gaze in the mirror. You couldn't look at yourself. Not only because of the scar that you now possessed, but you couldn't believe that you kissed after everything that happened. And you wanted more. You would've let him fuck you on the table if he could, but luckily enough he had other duties to attend to. 

Doesn't change the fact that you still wanted him after everything that has happened. 

You knew tonight would lead to the two of you sleeping together, part of you was excited, and the other part was completely terrified. You didn't know how you would react having him on top of you. After the Knights, you didn't know how you would handle him touching you like he used to. 

You hadn't even touched yourself since it happened. You were too sore and too emotionally drained to even think about doing it. 

You didn't know why Kylo wanted you wearing a dress, but you decided on picking out the black one with the thigh splits. The burgundy sequence dress was there, but it only reminded you of that night with Kylo's Knights. You were drunk and you did enjoy some of it. But the next day when you sobered up you realised just how fucked up it all was. You only enjoyed your release you got out of it. Not being fucked by Kylo's men. You enjoyed tormenting Kylo as he tried to belittle you in front of them all. 

You sighed. You didn't want to keep thinking about it.

Your wounds were healing nicely. Majority of them had healed completely, but the deeper scars still needed cleaning. Especially the one on your face. You managed to dab it clean, ridding it of any dried blood that may have accumulated there. Occasionally you'd catch a glimpse of yourself, but you quickly averted your eyes from your reflection. 

You felt so ugly. 

You now knew what Kylo felt like with his own. 

You had slipped into your dress as well as put on the heels that you wore with it the last time on Canto Bight. You thought about using the make up you had also bought, but you didn't have the courage for that. Not yet. 

A small beep came from your data pad on your bed, and you walked over towards it, your heels clicking against the tiles. 

Supreme Leader Ren

"Whenever you're ready." 

You swallowed and typed back a simple 'ok' before placing it back down. Your heart was beginning to rattle your ribcage, and your palms started to sweat. 

You had no idea what he had planned and it was making you anxious. 

The walk to Kylo's quarters was quick, too quick, almost. You didn't know how you managed to get there that quick in the heels you were wearing. It wasn't until you found yourself outside his blast doors did everything register. 

You swallowed your nerves down before pressing his code into his pad beside the door. Almost immediately, they opened with a loud hiss, revealing a relatively dark and moody room. 

You stepped inside, the doors hissing shut behind you. 

It was the darkest you had ever seen Kylo's quarters. Majority of the lights had been switched off, and the main source of light was coming from a few candles placed on top of his table in the dining room. 

When your eyes landed on the meal set out on the table, your heart seemed to give out for a second. 

He had prepared a dinner for the both of you. Or at least ordered it. 

"Kylo?" Your voice wavered as you walked towards the table. The meal looked rather nice. Better than what you had been eating the past week. 

The sound of footsteps brought you back to reality, and Kylo was standing in the doorway, dressed in the same outfit he wore to the restaurant on Canto Bight. 

Your breath faulted in your chest. 

"You look stunning." His voice was soft as he approached, his strides slow and calculated. He was still wary about everything. 

"So do you." You swallowed. "You made us dinner?" A small smile touched your lips as he pulled your chair out for you. He had really gone all out tonight. 

"Yes, but if it's bad we can just order something else and the guards will bring it." There was a hint of amusement in his voice. You missed it. 

"I'm sure it'll be fine," you adjusted your dress and fiddled with your fingers underneath the table. You were nervous, there was no denying that. He always managed to look so intimidating. 

Kylo sat at the opposite end of the table, the candles casting a soft warm glow on his face. His eyes were almost golden when he looked up at you. He still had stubble that lined his jaw, and you were actually starting to like it. 

When there was a brief moment of silence, you cleared your throat. "How did your other meetings go?" You reached for your knife and fork, and you noticed your hands were shaking. 

Unfortunately, so did Kylo. 

"You're afraid," he frowned, his voice hoarse. 

"I—no I'm just...nervous." You swallowed, meeting his eyes once again. "I'm sorry." 

"It's too much isn't it?" He sighed, dropping his knife against the table. "I knew it'd be." 

"No, no," you shook your head and reached across to him, taking his hand in your own. "Kylo it's just, it's been a while." It had been ages since the two of you had done something nice together. 

You missed when you and Kylo were so carefree with one another, joking and laughing together. Now, you felt like you were walking on egg shells around him. 

Kylo swallowed before pulling his hand away. "You need to eat." He said quietly, nodding towards the plate in front of you which had various meats and vegetables on it. You picked up your cutlery again and cut into the meat, before taking a bite. The meat was tender and melted in your mouth. A soft groan left your throat. You hadn't realised how hungry you were. 

You swallowed and nodded. "Didn't know you could cook," you smiled. "It's beautiful, Kylo, thank you." 

"I'm glad you like it," for a split second you thought a smile crept onto his lips, but he quickly popped a piece of meat into his mouth, his jaw tensing as he chewed. He could be doing absolutely nothing and you still found ways to absolutely adore him. 

Dinner was quiet. The two of you only shared a few words here and there, but it was oddly comfortable. It was obvious the two of you were trying to think of things to say, but the dinner was too good to ignore. It surprised you how well Kylo managed to cook. It was definitely a start to Kylo's way of winning you back, if that's what he was trying to do, of course. 

When the two of you finished you stood and began gathering the plates and various other dishes, using the Force to gather what was left to bring towards the bench. 

"I'll do that," Kylo frowned, walking towards you and taking the plates off you. 

"You made dinner, I'll clean up," you shrugged, placing what you had in your hands into his sink. "It's no big deal." 

"I don't want you hurting yourself—" 

"I think I can manage dishes, Kylo." You rolled your eyes, and scrubbed at the dish, trying to ignore the fact that he was towering over the top of you. You could feel his breath against the back of your neck he was that close. 

You heard him sigh before he turned away, grabbing a towel to begin drying what you had cleaned. 

"You know," you swallowed, "just because I'm pregnant, doesn't mean I can't do things." You mumbled, already regretting bringing his child up in the conversation. 

"I thought you were getting rid of him," 

Hearing Kylo call the baby him made your stomach churn. 

You handed him a plate and began scrubbing the next one. "Lexa said she won't allow it until I'm healed," you avoided his eyes. "You think it's a boy," it came out more like a statement then a question. 

"It doesn't matter, forget I said anything." 

"I'm not doing this to spite you, I hope you know that." You looked up at him. "I just think you and I both know we won't make good parents." You gave him the second plate, your hands were shaking again. 

You didn't want another argument. 

"How do you know that?" His eyes wouldn't meet your own. 

You had to stop yourself from scoffing. "Are you being serious? Kylo neither of us are in the state of mind for a baby. What the fuck are we going to do with a child?" 

He stayed quiet, you weren't sure if it was sadness or frustration fizzling off him. He put the plates away and shut the cupboard door. "I just want the chance to be a better father than mine ever was." His voice was soft, dejected even, as he brushed passed you, walking over to the sofa and sitting down with his back to you. 

For some reason what Kylo said had really hit something inside you. You almost felt bad that you were wanting to deny him of that chance. But in reality, Kylo snaps too quickly. If he was able to hurt you like he could without any hesitation, what would he do to a baby? 

You sighed and made your way over to him, before sitting beside him. "Kylo I understand you want to try and prove that you'll be a good father, but," you took his hand and found his eyes. He looked so lost and upset and it broke your heart. "Kylo I'm the one that has to have this baby. And to be quite honest," you swallowed. "I'm fucking terrified." Your voice cracked as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. 

"But I'll be here with you. Every step of the way." He mumbled, and you believed him. But that still wouldn't change your mind. You said it before, that you couldn't have a baby with someone that didn't love you. You didn't want to bring that back up. It would hurt the two of you too much. 

"I can't, Kylo I'm sorry. Not now. Maybe one day, but not now." You reached up and caressed his face, brushing your thumb over his scar. You were worried what he may say.

Instead, all Kylo did was close his eyes and nod, his dark hair falling in soft curtains around his face. 

Relief washed over you. It seemed as if he finally understood. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about how this all affected you." His voice was soft as his eyes found yours again. Golden pools of honey gazed at you, his brow drawn slightly in frustration. "I'm sorry—"

He was too captivating to ignore. You leaned towards him and pressed your lips to his in a soft kiss. You held him there for a brief moment before pulling away, your hand still cradling his cheek. "Thank you," your voice was barely above a whisper. 

Kylo stared at your for a moment, his eyes searching your face before scanning your body. In a matter of moments, his lips were on yours once again, this time his lips were more desperate, and you knew you couldn't resist him. He made the attempt to make it up to you, and you appreciated his gesture. You knew the two of you still had a lot to work on, part of you still hated him, but the other part was still madly in love with him. 

Kylo was quick to pick you up from the sofa, his hands being extra gentle to avoid your wounds and hurting you any more. Your lips were still interlocked, and your pressed your tongue between his teeth, earning a soft moan from him. Oh, how you had missed that sound. 

You kissed Kylo with slow, but desperate kisses, wanting to savour his taste, but he was quick to pull away and sit you on the edge of his bed. "Do you want this?" He whispered as he stood over you, his forefinger lifting your chin up to face him. 

You nodded, feeling the familiar ache inside your core. But it didn't hide the fact that you were nervous about it, and you hated it. You didn't know why you were nervous, you had slept with him countless amounts of time. By the bulge in Kylo's trousers, you quickly figured out that he wanted it, too. 

"Say it. I need to hear you say it." His eyes searched yours, frantically looking for any sign of hesitation. 

You swallowed. "Yes, Kylo. Please." You whimpered, you hadn't realised how much you were already aching for him. His gentle touch under your chin was sending electricity throughout your veins. He hadn't been that gentle with you in a long, long time. You stood, and slowly, Kylo reached around behind your back to unzip your dress. 

"You're sure?" His lips brushed your earlobe as he leaned down slightly to finish unzipping the dress. Almost immediately, your dress fell from your shoulders and pooled at your feet, leaving you in nothing but your plain black underwear and heels. You hadn't felt the need to wear lingerie, and to be honest, you didn't want to. 

You reached up and cupped his face once more, bringing his lips to your own. "Yes," you whispered against his lips. "Please. I need you." You whimpered, working at his buttons on his shirt, revealing that gorgeous pale skin beneath. You didn't miss your chance to press your lips against his collar bone, before kissing up his neck towards his jaw. Another groan left him and he nudged you back onto the bed. 

"This is about you," he breathed, helping you up the bed and pressing kisses against every inch of your skin. You felt like your skin was on fire, as Kylo pressed wet, open-mouth kisses against your neck, collar bones and chest. Your breath was coming in small gasps as he began sucking lightly on your skin. Instinctively, you bucked your hips up to meet his. You were embarrassed at how needy you had become before him, how easily he had turned you on by just a few kisses. 

Your mind quickly flashed to the last time you had sex with him, there was so much hate involved it was almost repulsive. You took out your anger and frustration on him, and in the end, he left you anyways. You didn't want another repeat of that. If he left you again, it would probably kill you. 

Kylo slipped his hand behind your back and unclasped your bra, before discarding it on the floor beside him. He was desperate, you could feel how hot he was, he was like a wild animal, however he still managed to be gentle with you. You were grateful he wasn't trying to be rough and erratic with you. You didn't think you could take that in the state you were in. You were glad Kylo picked up on everything. 

Kylo looked up at you, his eyes were now a lot darker than before, almost black. He wanted you, no, needed you, and you needed him. His lips were parted slightly as soft pants left his chest. You took the opportunity to capture his lips with your own. The kiss was brief before he pulled away and took one of your nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and licking with a growl leaving his throat. You couldn't help but moan and arch up into him, entwining your fingers in his hair to hold him there.

As his tongue worked on one breast, his hand palmed the other, squeezing the soft flesh and rolling your nipple between his fingers. He was driving you insane. "Fuck, Kylo," you moaned once again and shuddered beneath him. Your breasts had been a little tender lately, and the pain from Kylo's assault was moulding into pleasure. 

Kylo kissed his way across your chest and took your other nipple into his mouth, repeating the same actions as before, this time his eyes met yours. They were their usual black, but there was a strange warmness to them. Normally they were completely empty. 

Kylo held your gaze as his tongue swirled around the sensitive peak of your breast, a groan leaving his chest. You forgot just how beautiful his skin was, even if it was littered in scars and bruises. 

Kylo pressed his thigh against your sex, and instinctively you worked your hips against him. You needed him, it was driving you insane, but Kylo continued his slow and calculated assault, his lips trailing down your body, kissing, licking and sucking from your breasts, down your ribcage, across your abdomen and the inside of your thighs. You were screaming for him internally, your cunt basically clenching for him in front of his face. Thank god you still had your underwear on. 

Your chest was heaving with air, your skin was on fire and flushed after Kylo's gentle assault. Your core was aching for him, wanting to desperately find your release. You met Kylo's eyes as he pressed a single kiss against your pussy, your underwear still covering you from any real contact. A mixture of a sob and a moan escaped your lips. "Kylo please," your breath was coming in short gasps now. "Please I need you." You didn't know if he wanted you to beg, but he didn't say anything. 

Instead, he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your underwear and slid them down your legs, before discarding them to the side with the rest of your clothes and leaving you completely exposed. You looked down at him, catching glimpses of the scars and bruises left behind on your body from the encounter with Rey and your Grandfather's guards. 

Suddenly you felt sick, you felt so ugly. 

"You're so beautiful," Kylo was on his knees at the end of the bed, his eyes wandering over your body. It only made it harder for you to breathe. You couldn't look at him, now, and frustration started to boil out of you. New tears were pricking your eyes and you tried desperately to blink them away. "Don't cry," he cooed. "Please." He crawled back towards you and hovered over the top of you, his thumb brushing the tears that had spilled from your eyes. "You are beautiful. You know I wouldn't lie about that," when he whispered your name, you looked up at him. His gaze was soft, and you started to feel a little better. 

"I'm sorry I just—"

"Stop apologising," he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before travelling back down your body once again, this time coming to rest between your legs. You could feel his breath against your exposed sex, and your breath caught in your throat. Kylo kept his eyes on you before he pressed his lips against your clit. A moan escaped your lips and you fisted the sheets beside you. 

You hadn't had this kind of attention in ages, and you almost forgot how overwhelming it was. Especially with Kylo. He knew just how to kiss you, caress you, touch you. You couldn't imagine being with another person. It just wouldn't be the same. 

Kylo's tongue dragged lazily up and down your slit, your hips squirming against his face, trying to reach your climax as quickly as possible. You felt Kylo's lips curl into a small smile against your sex, before his tongue began flicking and swirling around your clit. His eyes found yours, a mischievous look behind them as you climbed higher and higher to your climax. Lewd moans escaped your lips, and when you were sure you were going to rip the bedsheets beside you, Kylo's fingers interlocked with yours, and he squeezed. He has never done that before. 

"Kylo I'm going to cum," you whimpered, your legs beginning to tremble beside his head. Your breath was catching in your throat, and warmth was pooling throughout your core, sending pleasure coursing through your veins. This was probably the quickest orgasm he gave you. 

"I know Princess," he groaned, the vibrations of his deep voice making it all the more overwhelming. "You're so pretty like this. Cum for me." He moaned, as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked, hard. 

Your body jolted and your breath faulted as your orgasm ripped through you, a sob leaving your chest as you dug your nails into the back of Kylo's hands. You couldn't speak, an array of whimpers, gasps and moans were the only things leaving your chest as you came down from your high. 

Kylo crawled up towards you, his lips and chin glistening with your own cum. He captured your lips, his hand cradling the side of your face, his thumb brushing over your scar. "You're alright," he cooed. You hadn't realised you were shaking and that more tears were leaking from your eyes. You had been an emotional wreck the past week. "I've got you." He nuzzled his nose against your own. 

You swallowed and nudged him backwards so you could sit up, your fingers beginning to undo his belt and trousers, but his hand grasped your wrist. His touch was gentle as he knelt over you. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to—"

"I want this Kylo, I want to taste you," you managed as you pushed his trousers down his thighs, exposing his cock, hard and heavy, leaking with pre cum. Your mouth watered. 

You watched as Kylo's chest rose and fell as he watched you grasp his cock, slowly pumping the length of it whilst pressing your tongue to its tip, tasting the pre cum that had already began to leak from him. He was aching for you, almost as much as you were for him. 

You looked up at him, before wrapping your lips around the head of his dick, savouring his familiar taste. You slowly inched your way down his shaft, maintaining eye contact with him, even though he was struggling to hold your gaze. His head fell back and a groan left his lips. You were captivated by the veins protruding from his pale skin against his neck as his chest swelled with each breath. 

He was so beautiful. 

You hollowed your cheeks and pulled off him, his cock slick with your saliva and pre cum. You reached up and wrapped your hand around the back of his neck before lying back once more, pulling Kylo down with you. He gazed at you for a moment, his pale cheeks were flustered as sweat started to mist his skin. Kylo undressed his lower half and climbed back on top of you. 

You took in his features, all of his moles and freckles, his plush lips, his nose, his scar and those fucking eyes. 

You loved him so, so much. But you didn't want to tell him. He already knew you loved him. 

"What about the baby?" He frowned. 

You had to bite back a laugh. "It'll be fine." 

Kylo looked down between the two of your bodies, then back to you, as if asking for permission. All you managed was a subtle nod, bracing yourself for Kylo to finally be inside you. Your heart leapt to your throat as Kylo shifted, pressing himself into you. He filled you, ever so slowly, and he covered your mouth with his own, swallowing the strangled moan that left your throat as his cock pressed against your cervix. He had completely sheathed himself inside you and he held himself there for a moment, as if he was cherishing it. 

His lips parted to deepen the kiss, his tongue brushing over your bottom lip. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth. Your hands reached up to cradle his face as the two of you kissed, soft moans leaving both of your throats as Kylo began to thrust into you. His thrusts were slow, but deep, his cock pressing against the sensitive walls of your cervix. 

It was painful, but you missed it. You missed how much he made you hurt when the two of you had sex. He would always split you open, stretching your sensitive walls, but the pain was pleasurable. 

"Fuck I've missed you," he gasped into your neck, his breath was hot against your skin. He took your hands and held them above your head. But it wasn't so he could dominate you, instead, his fingers entwined with your own. He squeezed your hands as he thrusted into you, another grunt leaving his chest. 

"I've missed you too," you whimpered, you wanted to run your fingers through his hair, but you couldn't. He had you pinned. You didn't mind, though. Kylo has never been this intimate with you whilst having sex. Majority of the time the two of you were like wild animals, fucking only to find your release, it was always quick and rough. You honestly couldn't remember the last time you and Kylo had sex that didn't involve slapping and degrading. 

Kylo pulled back so he could look at you as he fucked you, his lips were parted and swollen, his obsidian locks were beginning to stick to his face and neck from sweat. 

Kylo kept a steady rhythm, and you felt yourself start to tighten around him. You moaned as warmth began to pool inside your belly, before it was drifting throughout the rest of your lower half. Your legs started to shake and you wrapped your legs around him, wanting to take him deeper. 

"You're so perfect, Princess." He groaned, his lips pressing against your throat. He rolled his hips and pressed his pelvis against your clit. He was driving you insane. "I'm sorry I keep hurting you," his voice was strained as he moaned into your neck. "I'm so—fuck—sorry," your name fell from his lips in a whimper, and you realised he was crying again. 

"Kylo," you moaned, you were exhausted, but you needed this, you needed him. "Kylo look at me," you pushed his head back away from your neck and held his face. Tears stained his flustered cheeks, but for some reason he looked so fucking beautiful like this. 

You pressed your lips to his briefly before pulling away. "I know," was all you said. Kylo was being sincere, he was hurting knowing how much he had put you through. Although part of you was glad he was hurting, the other part was absolutely gutted to see him so upset. 

"I want you to cum with me," he muttered, his hips began thrusting a little faster, sloppier, even. 

You nodded and brought his lips to yours once more, slipping your tongue between his teeth. One hand held Kylo's face against your own, the other running through his hair, as he continued to thrust into you. You were so close, and Kylo was beginning to lose control. His hips began to stutter, his groans were swallowed by your lips. You kept your lips against his, wanting to feel as close to him as possible. 

A low sob left his chest as he came, and you followed suit. Your body jolted, heat spreading throughout your body as your orgasm ripped through you. You clenched around Kylo, milking him through his own release as he filled you. The two of you panted into each other's mouths, heavy groans leaving both of your chests. 

For a brief moment, everything felt normal. As if nothing had happened. In that moment, everything had faded away into nothing. It was just the two of you in each other's arms, moaning each other's names. 

The two of you caught your breath, and Kylo remained inside of you. He wanted nothing more than to be close to you. He would lay like that with you for eternity if he could. 

So could you. 

Kylo pulled his face away from yours, his face flustered and misted in sweat. His hair hung over his bloodshot eyes. His chest rose and fell with shaky breaths. He was exhausted, physically and emotionally. That would make two of you. 

Kylo pulled out of you but laid back down on top of you. His legs were entwined with yours, his arm draped over your torso. It would've looked ridiculous, he completely dwarfed your body. He buried his head into the crook of your neck, gently kissing the tender skin that was there. 

You wrapped your arms around him, drawing circles on his back with your nails. 

The two of you laid in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company. The two of you had been so lonely for the passed week or so. And now, the two of you had finally come together. You missed him, but it seems that he had missed you more. So, so much more. 

A smile touched your lips, when you remembered the comment Kylo said about hurting the baby, and you couldn't help but giggle into his hair. 

He lifted his head, his brow drawn in confusion. "What?" His voice was hoarse. 

You exhaled another soft laugh, moving his hair out of his eyes. "You thought you'd hurt the baby." 

He rolled his eyes and nuzzled against your neck once more. "We never were taught about all that stuff. Jedi weren't allowed to form any relationships. So we didn't learn about everything." He muttered. Clearly he was embarrassed. 

"I think it's cute," you smiled, pressing your lips to the side of his head. You were glad you could have a normal conversation after everything, even if it was quite amusing. You were relieved Kylo didn't shut you out like he used to. 

His lips pressed against your neck once more. "Go to sleep, Princess." 

+++++

Movement behind you woke you up from your sleep. The clock read 0300. When you realised that you were still in Kylo's quarters, you closed your eyes again, figuring he was only shifting in his sleep. 

You had rolled onto your side in your sleep, obviously getting hot with Kylo's ridiculously large body on top of you. 

You heard Kylo sigh, and soon enough he was pressed up behind you, his arm wrapped around your waist. His fingers splayed out against your belly as he began drawing small circles against your skin. 

You didn't want to open your eyes. You knew he was awake. You feared he hadn't slept at all. His mind was running wild, and as his fingers traced patterns against your belly, all you could see was the baby floating around in his mind. 

You swallowed and nuzzled your face into your pillow, wanting to fall asleep again. You were exhausted. 

"I don't deserve you," he whispered. Kylo thought you were still asleep. Your heart leapt to your throat in an instant. "You're too good for me. You're too good for any of this." His lips brushed against your shoulder blade as he spoke. "You're too beautiful for you're own good. And you just can't see it. It kills me that you can't see how beautiful you really are." You were sure his voice shook. A lump was starting to rise in your throat. 

"You would be an amazing mom. You would raise our kid right. But I'm sorry." His lips pressed against your shoulder blade, ever so gently. "I'm sorry I've done this to you. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I've hurt you even when I didn't mean to. And I can't forgive myself for any of it." He seemed to wrap his arms around you a little tighter. 

He let out a shaky breath, and went quiet for a moment. You had to try and fight off tears that stung your eyes. You clamped your eyes shut, trying to keep them at bay. 

Then Kylo spoke again, his voice feather soft. 

"I love you," he whispered your name, and you thought for sure you had fallen asleep. It must all be a dream. The lump in your throat was suffocating you. 

"I love you, so much, Princess. A part of me always has. I'm just too afraid to tell you. I'm sorry." His quiet voice cracked. Your heart seemed to break and mend itself in a matter of seconds. 

You swallowed. 

"I love you too, Kylo." You whispered back. He went stiff behind you. He was silent. 

You opened your eyes and turned your head to look over your shoulder to meet his eyes. They were wide with shock. 

"I thought you were asleep—"

You pressed your lips to his. "I was."

"You heard everything." He muttered. "I'm sorry if I woke you." He frowned. He was embarrassed. Embarrassed that you heard everything he just said. But you were glad you did. 

"I want to hear you say it again," you whispered. "Please." 

He stared at you for a moment, his hair mused from interrupted sleep. Then, he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. 

"I love you." 

Butterflies erupted inside your belly, your heart leaping to your throat once more. Your lungs seemed to give out for a moment. Hearing him say that was all you wanted to hear. And you knew he meant it. 

"I'm sorry. I was too afraid to admit it. To you and to myself. Everyone I have ever loved has left me." His bottom lip trembled and you thought you saw tears pool behind his eyes. 

"I love you, Kylo. I promise, I won't ever leave you. I need you." Your voice cracked, and before you could say anything else, Kylo's mouth captured your own. 

The two of you were still on your sides, his arms wrapped around your body, holding you against him. You reached up, cradling the back of his head, holding him against you, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. It was early in the morning, but you found yourself wanting him all over again. And from Kylo's erection pressing against you, you figured he wanted you, too.

Kylo pulled away and gazed down at you, his lips swollen and wet. The look the two of you shared was enough for him. 

He shifted and spat into his palm before grasping his cock. A soft moan left his chest as he stroked himself a few times before he slid into you. A gasp left your lips as Kylo filled you. The two of you had never had sex like this. 

From this angle he felt so much bigger, so much thicker. 

As Kylo began moving his hips against you, his hand grasped the back of your knee and lifted it slightly so he could fill you at a better angle. You couldn't help but bite down on your lip to silence a moan, but you were unsuccessful. 

"Fuck, Kylo," you gasped, your hand grasping the back of his neck. "Just like that," you whimpered as Kylo worked his hips against your own. His thrusts were slow, much like before. Slow and deep. With every thrust he managed to press against ever ache you had inside of you. 

"So beautiful," he groaned, his lips working against your neck. His fingers dug into the back of your knee as he held you still while he fucked you. 

But then you came to the realisation. 

This wasn't fucking. 

He was making love to you. 

"Gods," you moaned. Your chest felt heavy, and you figured it was from the overwhelming love you felt for this man. You didn't want to cry again, you had enough of crying. Kylo managed to make you weak, but at the same time, he made you so, so much stronger. 

"I can't get enough of you," he grunted, before he grazed his teeth against your earlobe, his breath was hot and heavy against your skin. It was enough to send shivers up your spine. 

Warmth was pooling in your belly much sooner than you had expected. But you didn't want it to end. Not yet. 

You turned your head and captured Kylo's lips in a brief kiss, turning your body to face him. You nudged him onto his back and swung your leg over his waist before sinking down onto him. 

The two of you gasped and met each other's gaze. Kylo's eyes softened as he grasped your hips. His hands dwarfed every part of your body as he slowly caressed you. You swallowed and began grinding your hips against his, but with your injuries you forgot how painful some things could be. 

Your back ached, in fact, everything ached. 

Kylo noticed and sat up, leaning his back against the headboard of the bed. "You alright baby?" His hand cupped your cheek. You smiled softly and nodded. 

"Yeah, just sore." You sighed before pressing your lips to his and you slowly began grinding against him again. Your lips swallowed Kylo's moan once again. 

You enjoyed doing that. 

You held onto Kylo's broad shoulders for extra support as you began rising up and down on his cock. He filled you to the brim and you would probably never get used to the pain. But you loved it. 

Kylo's hands grasped your waist, his fingers digging into your flesh. His lips worked at your breasts, kissing and sucking at your flesh, being sure to take your nipples into his mouth. 

A heavy groan left your throat and you rolled your head back as you came closer and closer to your orgasm. Your legs shook beneath you and Kylo gazed up at you, his eyes were slightly hooded. He was close too. 

"Kylo—fuck—" you whimpered, pressing your forehead against his. "I love you," you whined, your eyes clamped shut as you edged towards your orgasm. 

"Look at me," Kylo's voice was strained as he ran his hands up your back, grasping the nape of your neck. You opened your eyes and met his gaze, your hips still working against his own. "I love you, Princess." A small smile touched his lips before his jaw went slack and another moan left his throat. 

That was enough to send you over the edge. An animalistic moan left your chest as you came, your cunt squeezing and milking Kylo through his own orgasm. You felt him tense beneath you, his nails digging into your back as he emptied himself into you. Kylo growled against your chest as the aftershocks of his orgasm wore out, his breath heavy against your skin. 

Your whole body quivered on top of his. You knew you'd be sore tomorrow. 

Kylo laid back down and brought you down with him, his arms wrapped tightly around you. You could feel his heart hammering against your own chest as you rested your chin on top of his sternum, gazing up at him. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, his eyes were shut as he caught his breath. 

"I could get used to this." You giggled, running your finger down his scar. 

"Used to what?" He looked down at you. 

"This," you gestured vaguely to the both of you. 

"Hm," he hummed, his fingers drawing circles against your back. "We always had sex." 

"Not like this," you rested your cheek against his pec. "We used to fuck. We didn't have sex like this." You exhaled a laugh and brushed your thumb over his nipple. You watched as he twitched underneath your touch. 

"What's wrong with fucking?" He hissed. You hadn't realised how sensitive his nipples were. 

Something to remember for later, you figured. 

"Nothing. But this is nice." You nuzzled your head against his chest, running your finger over his nipple again. 

"I'd stop that if I were you." He hissed, his eyes were on yours. 

You smirked. "Or what?" You tilted your head. 

"Do you really want to find out?" 

"Hm," you lifted your head before taking his nipple into your mouth, being sure to flick your tongue over his sensitive peak. You felt him twitch underneath you, and in an instant, red hot pain slashed across the skin of your ass. 

You pulled back and yelped. Kylo had slapped your ass and now his hand grasped the tender flesh. 

You couldn't help but gawk at him, the mischievous smirk plastered on his face. 

"Nothing has changed Princess. I love you. But you're still my little whore." 

You scoffed. "Charming." 

He smiled and cupped your face, his thumb brushing over your scar. "Beautiful whore." He exhaled a laugh as you rolled your eyes. 

"I'm flattered." You frowned, before a laugh left you as well. You pressed your lips against his, cherishing the moment that you two shared. 

You were glad things were starting to head on the right track. You were glad the two of you could joke like this again. 

"Mine," you breathed as you pulled away. 

He smiled and kissed you once more. 

"Yours."

A/n: hey guys! Sorry this took a while! Been busy with work and training and now uni is starting up again. But it was a longer chapter! I hope you guys have been well and I hope you liked this chapter 🥺 it may seem a lil early for them to be back together but, BUT there's still so much to come. We're slowly approaching the end of the book too 

Also, I KNOW WE DON'T LIKE BABIES BUT TRUST THE PROCESS THANK YOU XXXXXX it just fits in with the plot I had planned don't come for me x


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